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Monday, February 04, 2013

A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy.

Wow... that pretty much defines where I am to a tee!

Saturday I saw the scale go down to the lowest I've seen it yet, 182.4. What did I do Saturday afternoon? Make a batch of cookie dough and order pizza. Something in my brain clicked and said "oh, you did good this week, you can have some cookies and pizza". And I did. A LOT of it. And... I paid for it. Twice. :-/ TMI, I know, but my body did not like it, at all.

I've come to this place where I think that a little bit won't hurt me, and then I go overboard and it does end up hurting me. I need to learn how to be this weight, or less, without wanting to be complacent or try to sabotage myself after I do well.

Part of me feels like I'm missing out. Those foods that I cut out for so long... I'm never gonna taste them again. Even though I know that's not true. I need to get my head out of that fat girl mindset and into this new me. Just need to learn how to do that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CRAMOMMY 4/17/2013 10:06AM

    I read an article that said telling yourself "Ill have that later" decreased your desire for it. I think the study involved college kids and m&ms

I have been trying to do that myself lately ... telling myself I want cookies AND pizza, but Ill order the pizza (have a reasonable amount) and save the rest for later. Ill make the cookies later too ... It seems to work for me. Im not depriving myself - Im learning to space out the goodies and treats... which means less damage.

Overall thought I do feel like its one step forward and two steps back some days ... those back steps just make you stronger!

(I just realized this is from February, but Ill leave the advice anyway in case it helps!)

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CC3833 2/5/2013 2:26PM

    Swtiching food is a very hard thing to do. I do alot of take out to save me time. I wish there was a place I could call that has healthier alternatives.... Keep pushing!

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    All too familiar for me as well. Perhaps a fun day, something tat you just love today & have so much fun your don't think about anything else for days. That is how I feel after a great hike.

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    I know *exactly* what you're talking about.

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 2/4/2013 3:18PM

    When you figure it out, let me know, that is exactly how I feel (without seeing 182 WOW, you go girl)...

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TANYA602 2/4/2013 3:14PM

    I wish I had an easy fix for this! Seriously! Something clicks one day, though. And you CAN have those "other" foods, and enjoy them, yet like everything, in moderation. Today I am CRAVING a cheeseburger - haven't had one since Jan 3 (how crazy is it that I know that!?) - and yet I'm lucky that there isn't anything even remotely handy to satisfy that craving except for some yogurt and granola. I'll forget about the hamburger within an hour, and hopefully by dinner laugh at it. Hang in there and find alternate choices to fuel your body. We honestly don't have to give up everything, though.

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KT-NICHOLS-13 2/4/2013 2:37PM

    Wow, I had a similar experience. I dipped under 200 lbs for the first time in 20+ years and then I ate my way back into the 200's. In my case I was scared. Since then I've not been able to get back under the mark and move on. I'd like to be upset about it but clearly there's something I've yet to learn and a message I've not grasped. * SIGH*

May we both find our way and find our middle ground.

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TOMWAMP 2/4/2013 2:00PM

    The same thing happens to me. I was within 3 lbs of my pre holiday weight. So yesterday had my boys home and we watched the super bowl and ate. Of course I overate and drank to much beer, but we were having so much fun. So back to the work of getting back on plan. We can reward ourselves, but we need to do it in small bits and not all in one day.

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Some overall victories and February NO SPENDING month!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Well, its been some times since I've blogged. The end of last year was filled with an overwhelming fear of going backwards that I was depressed most days. However, the week of Christmas I kicked the slump I had been on and moved past the 190's for good! It was hard there for a while. I had already put my mind in maintenance mode, and while it was good that I was maintaining, I wasn't ready to not see that scale go down anymore. I had over a year and a half of watching the scale drop and when it wasn't anymore, I was terrified that I'd give up and go back up. But, alas, it went down and I've been hopping around the low 180's ever since.

Maintaining is almost more difficult than losing. You still have to watch what you eat, and exercise, but if the scale goes up for a few days you have to work a bit to get it back down. To keep it in the range I want it is exhausting sometimes. I've got about 5 months go get to 170-175 (only 10-15 pounds), so I should be able to do it, if I commit to it!

I've been adding push ups and bicycle crunches to my workout routine. I really only started this week, and must have been doing them too hard or something cause I pulled a muscle in my side. So that hasn't really worked as planned. haha. I'll get back on that once my side stops killin' me!

My most recent NSV is that I now fit in SOME size 16 pants!(depends on brand) When I first started I owned a pair of size 32's!! So crazy to think about! I'm even wearing SKINNY JEANS... with boots only... i think they look weird otherwise! I don't think I'll get much smaller than a 16, unless I get a tummy tuck... and I can't afford that, so that won't be happening!

Starting tomorrow, February is going to be a no excess spending month! Unfortunately, its not going quite as planned, and it hasn't even started yet! I'm sticking to basic rules for myself, such as, no new clothes, shoes or accessories. Groceries are only things we NEED to get through the week. No extra goodies (not that I really do this anyways, sometimes its like an extra thing of ice cream or something). However, we already have plans to go out for breakfast on Saturday, with some friends that are going to be driving through from out of town... AND, dinner take out on Saturday night that we've been planning for over a year now. We're having a Lord of the Rings marathon weekend... I've only seen the movies once and we really had nothing going on this weekend, so we said we were gonna watch all the movies and eat pizza. This was before I started my "lifestyle change", but I actually haven't had take out pizza in a LONG, LONG, LONG, LONG time, so I'm thinking it's OK. Other than that, we're bucklin' down and not spending on anything we don't need. We have a wedding to save for and this will be a good start!

Other than that, nothing is too exciting in my life. The fiance and I are doing well, haven't been in counseling for over a couple months now and we've been talking more and things are awesome! The holidays are over and now I'm ready for spring! Let's go 70's and sunny!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TANYA602 2/2/2013 6:04PM

    I am so happy for you! Congrats on getting to the 180s and for working so hard to get there. I am wondering how you liked the pizza? It had been 6 months that we had had pizza and when we finally had one it was kind of anti-climatic for me. More than anything, what I really enjoyed was the cheeseburger I had back in December! I could go for one of those again! ha
Do you have a date set? I can't wait to start following you when you shop for dresses! How exciting!
emoticon emoticon

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CC3833 2/1/2013 1:57PM

    Sounds like things are going pretty well for you! I am also working out a budget for myself... it is hard! You can do it though... Good luck and keep pushing!

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RACH_LVSLIFE 2/1/2013 10:11AM

    You are doing amazing!!!

Keep in mind that your financial health is similar to your physical health. As long as you can afford it, it's okay to create an "dining out" budget. You don't want to cut it our completely, feel the loss and then binge! If it helps, you can go to a cash system for eating out and groceries. That way you are stuck to your budget no matter what.

Enjoy your weekend!

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 1/31/2013 6:35PM

    Everything sounds great!! Glad it's going well in your neck of the woods!!

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Ramblings and such.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

I'm not much of a blogger. Don't normally have anything to say, or nothing that I haven't said before, and this blog isn't much different.

I'm about 1.2 pounds away from being 150 pounds lighter than I was in August of 2011. I still get amazed by that number every time I think about it. Is it for real? Was that actually me that did that when I never thought that I could? It sinks in every once in a while, but most days I don't feel too much different.

I've been having a hard time with sweets lately, which is probably why it took me 10 weeks or so to lose 10 pounds. I went down and back up and down and back up for about 5 weeks and lost a pound or two in between. Finally, 10 weeks later, I am at 188.4 and happy to be here! Luckily, once I saw 199, I never saw 200+ again while yo-yoing. I never wanna see that 2 again!

My first original goal was to end at 187, but now that I'm a pound away, I sorta wanna keep going. I guess I really wanna start to get toned, but working the right muscles and doing the right strength training machines sort of bores the crap outta me. I used to have a workout partner and he was good at keeping me doing the strength training, but he stopped going due to health issues. He wants to start back up again, so I think I'm gonna take two days a week or so where I go hard on the strength training and a little bit less on cardio those days.

I still haven't picked an "off day" yet, either. I was debating on taking Sundays off, but normally I go because I need something to do. Or I start to feel guilty about it. I guess that's not a bad thing, since its good for you anyways.

I'm gonna start a new goal now, since the holidays are coming up, and I did so well with them last year, I would like to do the same this year. I lost weight over both major holidays and was even able to enjoy some sweets doing so. I would like to do the same this year, where I am able to enjoy a piece of pie or a sugar cookie, but still maintain, or even lose. So my goal is to be 180 or less by the end of the year. That's 8 pounds away, about 4 pounds a month. Should definitely be doable, if I stick with my moderation and fewer sweets.

One big change that I have noticed since losing weight is my self esteem. I have so much more now! My best friend said to me the other day "Just so you know, and don't take this the wrong way, but I like this Amanda so much more than the old one". How could I take offense to that?! I do too! I dance, am more care free and care less about what people think of me. She gave me one of the best compliments ever!
Last night we went out for Halloween and even though I didn't dress up in costume, I wore a skirt with nylons and big boots, something I never would have done before. It would have been jeans and a sweatshirt. Its nice to be able to feel pretty and look like everyone else!

So I just have to keep working on maintaining and losing a bit here and there. I don't know what I want my ending weight to be, but anything less than where I was, and how unhappy I was, is fine with me!

Sorry this blog is so rambley and all over the place... I didn't get much sleep last night and its early! Have a good day, everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISTY_MOUNTAINS 10/29/2012 2:51PM


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TANYA602 10/28/2012 8:29PM

    Big hugs and kudos for your tenacity and all the positive changes you've made in the past year and a half. I know what you are saying about being farther away from that 2. One pound a week is a good goal, and you will do this!
I haven't taken many days off, either. hmmmmm I guess I'm more afraid of falling off the wagon, or the elliptical in this case.
I hope you have a great week!

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CRAFTINWIFE 10/28/2012 7:16PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon


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SPUNKYDUCKY 10/28/2012 6:25PM

    Congratulations for getting so close to your initial goal - you have done absolutely fantastic!!!! It is nice to be ready to move on to the next stage...

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JANDLP 10/28/2012 3:26PM

    I'm with you, my dear! I originally wanted to stop at 150, but I have a feeling that once I hit that.....I will probably keep going......I'm only 21 pounds away from it......should be there by the new year.......that'll make my total loss for the year to be 65 pounds.....

Unreal, right? Certainly an attainable goal, I think!

I'm rooting for you, my friend!


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EMMYLOU010409 10/28/2012 10:51AM

    Yay! Keep up the good work. I'm so excited for your new-found self-esteem! Hooray!

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 10/28/2012 10:47AM

    I join your celebration emoticon bye bye 2 don't come back again. New goals are a good idea, always. I have read many of the Sparkies focus on avoiding the holiday pitfalls by so many creative ways they impress me. I suggest blog reading for good goal ideas. Have a great day, Victoria
emoticon emoticon emoticon

You look awesome and yes, you did it!!!

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MS0669 10/28/2012 9:06AM

    I didn't find your blog anything but fun to read ! It super exciting reaching our goals and awesome that your self esteem is is back !
Reading this actually made me realize that I don't have any "goals" except to try and stay the same, which is not acceptable. Today I will be setting at least one goal for December 31st ! Thanks for getting me excited again !

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MJRVIC2000 10/28/2012 8:40AM

    You can ramble anytime you want. But you need peace of mind so you can get some sleep. Peace of mind comes when Jesus lives in YOU! God Bless YOU! Vic.

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Isn't that fattening?

Monday, October 08, 2012

Those are the words that are resonating in my head right now. I hate those three little words with a passion.

I don't post updates on Facebook very often. This weekend, I did, stating that on Saturday I had had a very productive day and among other things was making a lasagna for dinner. My grandma, who always has to comment on EVERYTHING I post, wrote "Isn't that fattening?"

First of all... Yes, it is. You already know the answer to that. Obviously, after losing 146 pounds, *I* know the answer to that also. But yet, you have to be condescending and ask a question we both already know the answer to.

My family, my grandma included, are all very supportive and happy for me, so I know she doesn't mean any harm by it, but it still makes me FURIOUS!! Yes, I know lasagna is fattening, Grams, I didn't lose almost 150 pounds by eating lasagna. In fact, for months I didn't have pasta at all. I have become more lenient now that I'm getting closer to my goal weight and lasagna was what I was hungry for. I don't regret it at all. I had one piece and the boyfriend has been eating the rest as leftovers.

Those words just take me back to when I was 330 pounds and she'd say the same thing when I would pick up a brownie or another piece of pizza. I've worked my a$$ off for that lasagna, I know the effects it has, please stop making it seem like I don't know what I'm doing.

That's all... I haven't been able to stop thinking about it for a couple of days so I decided to try to get it off my chest here! Thanks for listening!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HOLLY255255 12/8/2012 7:25AM

    I hear you!! I was eating leftover spaghetti at work yesterday and was so embarassed when a peer said in front of a group.... wow that is a HUGE plate of spaghetti. A friend of mine came to my rescue and said she is carbo loading for a run. The truth was .... I was hungry and I watch my calories and I try to live by: breakfast, eat like a king; lunch eat like a prince and dinner eat like a pauper.

I know my peer didn't mean anything malicious but I was embarassed none the less!

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NEEDHELPLOSING 12/1/2012 10:24AM

  Sounds like you are doing great and have the right mindset. My weight loss does not compare to yours (congrads) but I lost 50 lbs and occasionally ate Lasagna, pizza wings etc. But in moderation and ate healthy 90-95% of the time. Unfortunately I had a really bad year (3 siblings passed) and got off track. Now I am back and I know with spark I can do this by making the right choices and believing in myself. Keep up the good attitude!! You Sparked me !!!

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PANDAS10 10/19/2012 6:21PM

    My grandma was like that... Now she doesn't say much about anything being fattening - and I think it is because she doesn't really eat much anymore. I recall very vividly a time, when I was in my early teens, that I was at Grandma's and she had made homemade pie (she is the best cook and baker ever!). She was a food pusher too - so of course, when she insisted, I had a piece. After I finished and was taking my plate to the sink, she looked at me and said (rather rudely) "You really shouldn't eat things like that!" Implying that I was too fat (which I was). That hurt. I know she didn't mean to hurt me. But to still have that vivid memory nearly 20 years later just shows the impact.

Just remember that she loves you and cherish your time with her. If you can learn to laugh it off, then it will be easier to deal with her comments in the future.

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ANIMAL_L0VER 10/15/2012 2:04PM

    Oh my! This sounds like some of the women in my family! I know how frustrating it can be! And right now, I'm being compared to my sister, who lost over 50 lbs in the last 9 months. "She's shorter and older than you, so it should be easier for you. Why can't you do that?"

Really?!?! Maybe because I work an office job and am gone 10+ hrs a day, sitting on my a$$ for at least 8 of them. I'm not an at home mom with 3 kids in school, that has more time to plan and prepare meals and snacks, more time to work out, and the time and 3 girls to go on bike rides, play ddr and wii fit, etc. with. (In no way am I saying that SAHMs have it easy; trust me, I know how hard that job can be and I'm not a hater. but all 3 of her girls are in school all day so it's much easier for her to have the time to do the things that need to be done.)

In light of that, glad you're able to recognize that you earned it. And, I have a really good recipe for vegan lasagna that's so tasty, even my picky eater boyfriend likes it. Let me know if I should send it to you. :o)

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REDPEPPERS 10/13/2012 1:33PM

    "I've worked my a$$ off for that lasagna"

And literally, since you've lost 146 lbs! emoticon

We have to live in the real world and eat real foods. And as you said, you obviously know what you're doing, so enjoy your lasagna and vent as needed.

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GRANDMA0627 10/10/2012 6:50AM

    Those closest to us have the greatest impact...good or bad. Sometimes the ones we do know love us seem the least supportive. Obviously, though, you've got it ...what it takes to succeed at anything you set your mind too...nearly 150 pounds!!wooohooo! And the self control and moderation to bake a yummy dish and have a healthful portion. Its certainly not just everybody that has your drive and determination. So...there will be those annoying comments from probably well-intentioned people...isn't it great to be able to come to a forum like this and just vent and get rid of their poison darts. Let nothing cloud your thinking or weigh you down or hold you back :)

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MISTY_MOUNTAINS 10/9/2012 10:24PM

    Everything in moderation... those are three words I DO like!!

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 10/9/2012 3:55PM

    I try to be a positve thinker & try to live my life that way. So here goes, you did not like her comment I get that. With all of her flaws I am guessing she loves you. Who doesn't stick their foot in their mouth everyonce in a while, right? All of my grandparents have passed, but if they were alive today I would be grateful for any remark they would make because I love them for all they are~ bad & good. That said, loved the blog hope you give her a big kiss next time you see her & tell her you love her just the way she is. emoticon

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CRAFTINWIFE 10/9/2012 2:02PM

    emoticon SP is the perfect place to vent about these things.

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DIEGELMAN 10/9/2012 12:42PM

    My Grandma is always good for the, "You're still losing weight, right?" I know she thinks she is supportive, but I just feel like no matter how much I lose it will never be enough for her! Keep up the good work!

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SHINYZALATA 10/9/2012 4:16AM

yah people try to be supportive but sometimes it goes in the other direction , glad u let it out here, ur doing great job :)

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KT-NICHOLS-13 10/9/2012 12:11AM

    I have to admit, that would get to me too.
Good for you for blogging about it.

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EMMYLOU010409 10/8/2012 8:55PM

    I hear you. A couple of different comments:

- First off, it's my mom who will tell me, often in one breath, to "not eat that" but oh, hey, go out to dinner and eat [whatever] regardless of calorie intake because someone invited me. Or the office brought in food. Or whatever. I have a whole blog post dedicated to this rant.

- Second: grandparents should not be allowed to comment on FB. Ever. At all. Except to each other, and never to grandchildren. My grandma saw a picture of me at a (dancing) bar and commented, "Walk slower, sweetie." Well, Grandma, it's about 80* in here, we're dancing, I'm wearing a long-sleeve shirt and jeans, so yes-- I'm sweating. My BF's grandma says some of the most random things, too. Age limit, people. We need to allow grandparents to look, but not comment.

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WENDIGAYLE 10/8/2012 7:40PM

  Heard it b/4 myself. Now it's nothing is off limits, just moderation. Deprival just leads to failure.

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MRSJOCCO 10/8/2012 7:34PM

    I didn't know my mom is your grandma! emoticon
You did the right thing to vent here--grandma's don't often change.

Now enjoy your lasagna! emoticon Everything can be PART of a healthy diet.

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How do you start maintenance?

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Lately I've been thinking about how to start my maintenance mode. Right now I'm still in weight loss mode, working out seven days a week and eating 1300 or so calories a day, except Saturdays and some Sundays. In a few weeks though, or, should I say in about 10 more pounds, I'm gonna be sort of starting my maintenance.

I'm lost at even how to start...

Do I work out the same as I am now with one off day a week? I don't take off days right now other than maybe, MAYBE, once a month. So I'm not sure even where to take that day off. Do I base it on being far away from the day I weigh in?

Do I eat the same amount of calories? A few more so I don't keep losing but not enough so I don't gain? This is all so new to me, I have no idea where to start.

I am sooo nervous! Any help would be appreciated it!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPSPSP1 10/5/2012 12:47AM

    Congrats on all your success! In case you haven't seen them already, here are a couple of links regarding maintenance:

Blog Post:

Spark Maintenance Team:

Hope this helps!

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TANYA602 8/25/2012 7:45PM

    Great question! I have about 16 more lbs to go before I start to consider this. I have to think we need to continue to log in and still stick with healthy levels of fitness and calories. No way am I going back to eating the way I used to!

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TRACY31502 8/22/2012 6:10PM

    GREAT questions girl...I need to know what people say about this as well....I'm really not sure what my maintenance weight is going to be...I know I want to get down to 173 and make it a total loss of 200lbs but I'm not sure where from there...I'm thinking around 160ish???? I really dont know...I just figured I would figure it out as I got there! But I'm so happy to see you posted this blog and get some tips so I know what to do when I get there! the whole maintenance thing is kinda scarey to me just because I have no idea how to do thanks again..and congrats on being so close to your goal!!! you are GREAT!

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BOB240 8/22/2012 5:00PM

    The biggest psychological problem is that you have been successful at losing weight. Every two weeks your scales tell you that you are doing brilliantly. The you hit target and your scales lose interest in you :(.. same number week in week out.

A number of us struggle here in different ways. Successful maintainers still track, still exercise and weigh at least monthly. Do less? I'm working on a planned reduced gym time. A marginal increase in calories. Will it work??? I don't know.

My guess is that you must forward plan and your target longer term.

Bad news - do a Google 19/20 p[people regain all their weight. There is virtually no support for maintaining weight :(...

There's a small group of maintainers here stuck in SP... It's always interesting to see how they cope!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 8/22/2012 4:26PM

    GREAT questions that I ponder on a daily basis too.
What I've come up with thus far is this, continue to eat healthy and in moderation - calories, etc still count so they must be watched.
A workout regimen is still needed, ST and/or cardio just to keep us moving and feeling good. Find a balance that works for your schedule, body and mind. That might not be everyday as it has been but continue some type of regular schedule.

I was told once to determine a low weight and a high weight when I start to enter maintenance. The low weight is your ultimate goal weight - what you strive to stay at and your high weight (generally no more than 3 to 5 lbs) is that bench mark that tells you that you need to take a look at your portions and workouts more closely. If you hit your high weight during maintenance you just cut back and readjust until you are back down to your low/goal weight.

Maintenance is a new journey and something to be explored. How exciting to be asking these questions and knowing that you are almost there! YA!!

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