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New year! New me?

Sunday, January 01, 2012

With everybody writing their new years blogs, I figured I would as well. I have a couple things that I haven't been able to stop thinking about and am hoping you guys can help me out.

First of all... Happy 2012 to everyone! I can't believe 2011 is over and we're on to a new year yet again.

Here goes...
A friend and I were IMing on Friday about the Ren Faire we want to go to this summer. She said she wanted to rent a costume for it and I immediately got nervous. She's the same friend that I hang with often, and is a size 6. The costumes at the Ren Faire are for people her size... not for people like me! Then I thought... who are "people like me?" Do other people look at me and only see that fat girl that I see? I still look in the mirror and feel like a size 28. Very rarely do I see a size 24. This sounds a lot like a self confidence and loving myself issue, but I'm not sure that's the case. I have been this size for so long that I don't know that I'll ever see a smaller size. So I told her that I'd probably just wear something I have, a corset top from Torrid that I've never worn. I bought it 4 or 5 years ago with the intention of losing weight to fit into it... of course that never happened. So after my talk with her I could not stop thinking about that top. I went to dig it out of the back of my closet and much to my surprise.... it was too big! I love and hate that at the same time... I love that I'm getting smaller, I hate that I wasted the money. Stupid double edge sword!

So after the top, I decided today to clean out my closet and my dresser. I probably got rid of 4 pairs of jeans (all of my 28's and a 32) and a lot of my larger shirts. They're sitting in a bag in front of my dresser because now I am terrified to let them go. I am so afraid that I am going to balloon again and that I'll need them right back. I know that's no way to think, but clothes are so expensive and I know that those fit... If I give them away, I'll have to start over. Why am I even thinking like that though? I am in a smaller size... it makes me feel FANTASTIC... why would I ever even think about going back? It still gonna be REALLY hard to let those go... UGH!

So then I was thinking about offering all of my larger clothes to a friend that I know is about my size... my old size, i guess. Is that rude to do? She's more of an acquaintance, not someone I talk to all that often. I don't want her to take it the wrong way... I don't think she will, but I know I'd feel really awkward if someone did that to me.

Next...
Since I started my journey in August, August 15th to be exact, it felt like this was going to be the longest journey of my life. The days were going by so slowly and I was expecting to just give up at any time. I am still shocked and amazed that I'm still going at this. This isn't like me... I've never stuck at ANYTHING this long. I love it. I love the newish me. I love that feeling when I put on something that I would have never fit into before. December 31st marked four and a half months on this journey and 71 pounds lost overall! WHAT!?!?! Four months ago it felt like 337 was gonna be my label forever. Now not even my drivers license has the correct number on it... it's even 10 pounds OVER at the moment!!

Four and a half months... wow. I'm hoping to hit the 100 pound mark by my birthday, June 21st. 237 would be an amazing number to be at!

Future....
Every year for the past 11 years or so my Mom and I and a bunch of our friends have been doing the annual Multiple Sclerosis 5k. Every year I dread it, knowing that it is gonna kick my butt. One year I was so out of shape I didn't even walk. This year... I want to run it! However... I get on the treadmill and immediately get bored out of my mind. Walking in place for 60 minutes just does not do it for me. Then, to top it off, RUNNING? Even thinking about running scares the bajeeezus outta me. I've already blogged about this, and I know a bunch of people are doing it at a higher weight than me, but I still can't get myself to do it. I don't even know how to start running!! I'm gonna fall off the treadmill and look like a fool or something! I need to start now to be able to do it by the first week in May.... but how?! Ugh... I dread it! I just wanna stay on my trusty elliptical!

So I don't know... I have a lot running through my mind that I can't seem to sort out or let go of. Help?!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VSG1982 1/6/2012 1:25PM

    Congratulations on the weight loss! I know what you mean about being afraid to get ride of the bigger clothes. I just went through and got rid of everything that was awful to begin with - the things that were actually nice looking and not dreaded tents and sacks, I hid in my attic. If I find myself needing to dig them back out, I will have to go through the humiliating process of going into the attic to get them. Hopefully that will be a slap in the face if it ever comes to it. emoticon

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KT-NICHOLS-13 1/3/2012 12:49PM

    "They're sitting in a bag in front of my dresser because now I am terrified to let them go." When you let go it allows room for new to come into your world. This not only applies to clothing but to all aspects of life. *It's still HARD*

Treadmill running - BORING! In 2010/2011 when I started to jog again I started out on the treadmill at the gym for multiple reasons. Yup, I got bored real quick. I learned that music helped and also different speeds - slow, medium, fast. Some people use ebooks to pass the time or podcasts. If you can't get outside to train try changing up your treadmill routine - it *might* help.

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CARLYOLEO41 1/2/2012 11:25AM

    I cannot run on the treadmill either! I get bored out of my mind and only last about 2 minutes. I run much better outside... so maybe try that when it's not too cold (my lungs can't handle anything under 40 degrees). Or you could always try an indoor track (although I find that just as boring as a treadmill). I would offer the clothes to your friend. It might offend her, but she might also be very grateful. I am holding on to my biggest pair for comparison pics when I reach my goal weight. I say get rid of the rest to further motivate you to not gain anything back! :) You're doing soooo awesome and such an inspiration!

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MAIZEY 1/2/2012 10:18AM

    Great blog! Congratulations on your success and reaching your goals. Go for it at the Ren Faire! It's so fun in costume and many of the styles will make the most of your curvy figure! Happy New Year!

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JET150 1/2/2012 8:07AM

    First of all, CONGRATULATIONS on your success so far. Great job! I know how hard it is to get rid of the "fat" clothes. I have tried to keep just one or two for a fall back, but I think that I am at the point where once these smaller clothes start felling too tight I will do what I need to do make them feel comfortable again, just because, as you say, it feels good to be in smaller sizes.
As for the running, I too am bored out of my mind running on a treadmill. But when I run outside there are so many distractions that I find running a lot more interesting. I just go up and down the nearby bike path, or sometimes in Vilas Park. Yeah, I do have to be out in public, but I have gradually gotten over that. I even bought myself some running clothes and they feel good!!! Just because I'm older and pudgy doesn't mean I don't deserve fun clothes. right? There's a team here on Spark called Slow, Fat Runners. Join us; you might find some helpful hints, ideas, etc.

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Ch-ch-cha-changes

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Well Christmas has come and gone (very quickly I might add) without too much stress or over-eating. This year, being healthier, has made me think of all the years past that I ate, ate, ate without even giving it a second thought. This year was way different. Christmas eve day was mostly traveling. The boyfriend and I stopped at Subway where I had a salad for brunch. Dinner at the grandparents consisted of ham sandwiches, cheesy potatoes, pasta salad and beans. I ate two (small) ham sandwiches and about 1/4 cup each of the cheesy potatoes and the pasta salad. Time for pie after that which I completely avoided. :-)
Christmas day was dinner at our house with the boyfriends parents. We made turkey tacos so I knew exactly what I was eating and how many calories I was consuming. Didn't even go near my top range of calories for the day :-)

I even steered clear of the Christmas candy/cookies. Over this whole holiday weekend I've had 3 peanut butter balls and two rolo treats. For me... that's excellent. I used to be able to finish ALL of the peanut butter balls no problem... those are the my favorite!

When I first started doing this weight loss it was for me, but it was also for my grandparents. Every year we sit at the table at Christmas and I listen to them ridicule me for being overweight and for not doing anything about it. This year was exactly what I was hoping for. Pretty much the second I got out of the car my grandparents and aunt were all over me telling me I looked so good and they could tell right away and asking how much I've lost. My grandma even emailed me after I left telling me how proud she is of me and how she is excited for me to keep going. THAT is what I wanted. That is what I was looking for. Now the rest of this weight loss is for ME.

Debating on what I want to do for a new years resolution. I don't think its gonna be weight related since I'm already working on that. I think it might be more in the way of organization. I feel very unorganized lately and need to get that on track. I'll post another blog when I figure out what I want to do.

Hope every one had a very Merry Christmas... now back to the normal routine of daily life!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELLYBEANS0919 12/30/2011 7:15PM

    Congrats!! That is so great your grandparents were so proud! As you should be!

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KT-NICHOLS-13 12/28/2011 1:10PM

    Simply amazing!
I'm looking forward to hearing about your continued journey.

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BABYFIREFLY17 12/27/2011 2:09PM

    awww this gave me goosebumps! So proud of you girl you are doing SUCH an amazing job this next year is gonna be awesome for you!

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CARLYOLEO41 12/27/2011 1:00PM

    Congrats on your accomplishments this weekend! It feels amazing when people who haven't seen you for awhile take notice, doesn't it!

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BECOMING_HOLLY 12/27/2011 12:05PM

    You are doing so awesome! SO proud of you!!

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Weekend Recap

Monday, December 19, 2011

I was really worried about this past weekend for a few reasons...
First, my boyfriends family Christmas party. I know from years past that the host (his aunt) always makes pasta for Christmas dinner. Before this year, this was great... I loved pasta! Now... not so great! Pasta is something I've tried to cut out completely cause its just empty calories that only taste amazing. I didn't do too bad. I did have a a few stuffed shells and an Italian sausage link. The deserts were tempting and I had a small piece of turtle pie and a cookie. I probably ended at about 2000 or so calories for that party (with appetizers from earlier in the day... mostly veggies though!)

Then, the 2nd reason I was worried about this weekend is because my best friend was coming over. She comes down about once a month or so and I know on those weekends, I'll be drinking. And eating. Annnnnd... not sleeping. So it makes for a lot of stress when I'm trying to be soooo good.
She came over after the party and we went out to the bar... of course. We tend to go to only one bar cause the bartender is cute and gives us a lot of free drinks! So we drank and then of course wanted Taco Bell. Damn you Taco Bell for being so tasty!! I gave in... I only ordered one thing, but with the tortilla and the meat and the sour cream, it was easily 600 or so calories. UGH!!!!

Sunday was horrible. I got up and was so sick. Runny nose that just would NOT stop. I went to the gym, got my hour work out in on the elliptical and wanted to go home and sleep. Of course not though cause my friend was over and we had to go shopping. Shopping wasn't bad... the best part of the whole trip was that I tried on a pair of size 24's at Lane Bryant and they FIT! They are maybe a smidgen too tight, but should fit GREAT soon! If I could make the font bigger here I would. Size TWENTY FOUR!!!!! That is amazing and feels so excellent. I came out of the dressing room smiling and my friend asked what I was smiling about... I said "I'm just happy!". She is tiny... a size 6 at least, so she has no idea how this makes me feel... but she was happy for me too!

So all in all the weekend wasn't too bad, but not great by any means. I know that there are at least two more dinners coming up that I am worried about this weekend. I just need to eat small portions and fill up on water. I like the way the 24's feel so I'll have to keep thinking about that when I shove anything into my mouth.

Still going good with my gym goal. I haven't missed a day yet in December and don't plan to until Christmas eve (i'll be out of town, but I'm still gonna try to get a walk in if it doesn't snow). The new gym opens today so they should be open 24 hours and on Christmas Day when I get back from my families houses.

Met, beat and surpassed my goal that I set back in November to lose 20 pounds by December 31st. Yay! New goal, once I see the new gym and get my feel for it, is not gonna be a weight goal, its gonna be a 5k goal!

I probably won't blog again before Christmas, so I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HIKETOHEIGHTS 12/19/2011 11:36AM

    Merry Christmas to you and have fun with your friend, Victoria

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BABYFIREFLY17 12/19/2011 10:43AM

    You are doing SOOOOOO amazing! and WOOHOO! on the size 24's I know that feels soooooo great and it's nice to see all your hard work paying off! Keep it up girl this time of year is hard with all the parties and visits and such but you are doing great by staying focused and not over indugling and you are still exercising which is so awesome because I have been sort of slacking on that end...I am proud of you! Keep rockin girl!

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CARLYOLEO41 12/19/2011 10:42AM

    Good job on making healthy choices this weekend--especially going to the gym after a night of drinking! :) Congrats on the size 24's and Merry Christmas!!

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BECOMING_HOLLY 12/19/2011 10:26AM

    I love this! Yeah, this time of year there are going to be parties - but you kept your goals in front of you and didn't totally gorge! I think that is a success in and of itself!

You are still hitting the gym which is also awesome!!

I know you will see a lower number on the scale and hurrahhhhhh for smaller pants!

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Weights/Sizes

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

How do you lose sizes and inches? I am losing weight just fine, but my inches are pretty much sticking. I started at a TIGHT 28 at 337 and have lost 59 pounds (now 278) and am only at a tight 26... Is it supposed to be going down more than that? I have started to step it up a bit and get back into strength training and have started using the stairmaster for about 10 minutes a day so far. I want these inches to go down, down, down!!! Am I just still too big for them to go down any?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REEBADABEEBOOS 12/30/2011 4:29PM

    So true what everyone has says! Strength training and circuit training. For circuit training, I like Jillian Micheal's 30 Day Shred. It's hard the first SEVERAL times, but if you stick with it, it's worth it. Strength training will also firm and tone you and you will find yourself losing inches, although the weight might come off a LITTLE slower because you're adding muscle.

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VALKYRIA- 12/17/2011 4:49AM

    .

Comment edited on: 12/17/2011 4:51:06 AM

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VALKYRIA- 12/17/2011 4:49AM

    OMG I hate my browser...sorry for duplicate comments

Comment edited on: 12/17/2011 4:50:58 AM

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VALKYRIA- 12/17/2011 4:43AM

    You are not too big to be losing inches.

First, take your bodytype into consideration. There is nothing you can really do about where your body decides to lose your fat from first--be it from your arms, your neck, your belly, your legs, your hips, etc. Are you checking all of these inches, or just your waist?

One thing that will help you lose inches is strength training, guaranteed.

I started at a 32 and am now in a loose 28 after only 25 lbs down. (but 3 months of RIGOROUS strength training)

Keep it up, you will get there.

Comment edited on: 12/17/2011 4:51:23 AM

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SEMPERADMELIORA 12/14/2011 11:34PM

    I think there's also some geometry/calculus involved here. Subtracting an inch from a 40 inch waist is more area (i.e. fat) than subtracting an inch from a 30, or even 39, inch waist. At least theoretically that's how it should work.

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1DERLAND14 12/13/2011 9:25PM

    When i first started losing weight the inches didn't come off as fast until I started strength training... I believe that is the key. :) My biggest size was a 26/28 and I can wear an 18/20 now...some 22's ... keep at it and you'll get there! :)

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JANEYINMADTOWN 12/13/2011 8:06PM

    Many good suggestions but I found that exercise is the key....Cardio and Strength training combined...you will get there!

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SAESAND 12/13/2011 7:19PM

    I agree with all the other posters that adding strength training to my cardio made me feel a whole lot firmer, which I think helped me go down sizes.

Another thing to note is the measurements of your clothing. Different brands are cut differently. (Many clothing manufacturers will publish size charts on their websites.) I'd also check this out even if you are wearing the same brands you used to because I discovered that a lot of brands have variable differences between size with lower changes between sizes at the lower end of the spectrum. For example the waist of a size 12 jean may be 2" smaller than a size 14 jean but a size 6 jean may only be 1" smaller than a size 8 jean. The point is that at first it may take more inches to go down a size.

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WINNIE1978 12/13/2011 5:03PM

    I started dropping sizes when I started incorporating strength training with my cardio. So far I've gone from a 20W to a 12... and I've lost just shy of 50 pounds.

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MICHELLESMILES_ 12/13/2011 4:53PM

    I started my journey at 357. 28-30 stretch. I didn't think I was ever going to get out of 26's.

It will happen, before you know it you'll be running out of clothes because they'll all be to big!

You're doing great!

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CARLYOLEO41 12/13/2011 2:09PM

    I've been incorporating a lot of circuit and strength training and I think it is helping me lose inches. However, I lost a lot of inches so fast that I wouldn't be surprised if I hit a plataeu there soon. Everyone loses differently, but I do highly recommend circuit and strength training. I feel like I get more of a workout from circuit training than I do from a 3 mile run.

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MRS_ROSS 12/13/2011 1:59PM

    I found at the beginning of my weight loss journey it took FOREVER to drop a size. Once you get smaller they start to drop a lot faster! Hang in there :)

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KT-NICHOLS-13 12/13/2011 1:57PM

    Strength training will help you tone up which will help the inches shrink.



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BECOMING_HOLLY 12/13/2011 1:53PM

    I agree with BeingGuided's statement about unstretched clothes. That wil definitely do it! My other thought is strength training. Exchanging fat for muscle will make your appearance (and inches) smaller and you will feel more confident. I did that a LOT this year and exchanged fat for muscle - but didn't see much success on the scale.

I highly recommend doing circuit training which is strength AND cardio because you go from one ST exercise to the next without breaks and you go as fast as you are able. Let me know if you want to know more :)

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BEINGGUIDED 12/13/2011 1:48PM

    Oh it will change. It took me 50lbs just to go down a size, then after that it only took me like 15 to go another size and like 10-15 to go another. Took me 50 to go from 28 to a 26, then down to 24, then now I am between a 22-24 and I squeezed into a an 18/20 jeggings for my birthday ensemble.

Just give a little more time and the sizes will start to go down and down and down and fast! Don't know whats the dang deal going down from 28. Maybe it is the type of clothing. I remember at 28 I wore a lot of stretchy pants, so I was actually probably a solid 30, but had stretched out my stretchy jeans by then. Now you are trying NEW UNSTRETCHED UN WORN clothing and the sizes don't quite seem to move. Maybe that is the coalition between tons of pounds being lost just to lose one size, but then not much being needed to drop to other sizes. Maybe because after the first big loss, we are basing our sizes on "fresh new" clothing sizes. Just a thought.


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Health Survey - stolen from Daniellesautumn!

Thursday, December 01, 2011

1. What did you eat for breakfast?
Oatmeal with raspberries

2. How much water do you drink a day?
Not enough. Mostly depends on the day. About 2 big glasses throughout the day at work, two more after working out and one or two with dinner. Gotta be careful or I'm up all night!

3. What is your favorite workout?
Elliptical - all I really do so far. Gotta branch out!

4. What is your favorite fruit?
Raspberries and Cuties (oranges)

5. What is your favorite vegetable?
Corn and asparagus

6. How many calories do you burn a week?
I try for a lot... 4,000 or so

7. How many calories do you eat a day?
Around 1200-1600 depending on the day

8. What are your favorite healthy snacks?
Fruit

9. What do you usually eat for lunch?
Hot Pocket, lean cuisine, salad

10. What is usually for dinner?
chicken, lots of chicken. Rice. Chili, spaghetti sometimes, healthy meals.

11. What is your favorite body part to strength train?
Arms


12. What is your least favorite body part to strength train?
Legs

13. What is your least favorite exercise?
stairs

14. What is your favorite exercise?
Elliptical

15. What are your "bad" food cravings?
Pizza, Sweets

16. What is your go to workout song?
Lately its been Britney Spears - Till the world ends

17. Do you take vitamins or supplements?
multi every morning

18. How often do you eat out?
Once a week for sure, Tuesdays. Panera night. Otherwise once in a while on the weekends depending on whats going on.

19. Do you eat fast food?
Not normally. I have had taco bell twice in the past 4.5 months. That's it.

20. How do you stay motivated?
Looking at the progress I've made and knowing how badly I do NOT ever, ever, EVER, want to go back to 337!

21. Who is your biggest supporter?
My boyfriend. He keeps telling people how much I've lost and saying how proud of me he is!

22. How much weight have you lost?
51 pounds since August 15th, 2011

23. How did you determine your goal weight?
Just wanted to be anywhere below 200.

24. Do you have a gym membership?
Just signed up for Gold's gym. Currently going to a different gym till GOld's opens in the end of December.

25. How often do you work out?
No less than 6 days a week. Often times 7.

26. How did you find Spark?
Just surfin' the net, needing some inspiration... FOUND IT!!!

27. How much sleep do you get a night?
I try for 8 otherwise I'm a major crab!

28. Are you a morning or night workout person?
I used to do it in the mornings and realized I couldn't push myself as hard. Now, during the week, its right after work.

29. Do you have a "cheat" day?
If I do it's normally on a Saturday after I weigh in. But I try not to. Sometimes you just gotta though!

30. Do you drink soda?
Only if I'm really craving it. And its always diet. Regular is disgusting!

31. Do you drink alcohol? How much?
Vodka... not much though. Maybe one or twice a month.

32. What is your favorite thing about Spark?
Definitely the inspiration and motivation you can find by just reading a blog or chatting with a friend.

33. What do you not like about your body? What do you love about your body?
Right now... I dislike almost everything. However, i LOVE that my fingers are getting slimmer, as well as my face. I have a waist now too!

34. Do you have a workout buddy?
Nope. Sometimes I drag the boyfriend to the gym... but that's hardly ever.

35. What is the best thing that has changed about your life since committing to this Healthy Lifestyle?
So far, nothing. lol Just that fitting into a smaller size is nice. I haven't lost that much yet so the changes are a tad noticeable, but not as much as I'd like!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KT-NICHOLS-13 12/5/2011 7:07PM

    An amazing list of Q&As.


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