Sunday, January 01, 2012
With everybody writing their new years blogs, I figured I would as well. I have a couple things that I haven't been able to stop thinking about and am hoping you guys can help me out.
First of all... Happy 2012 to everyone! I can't believe 2011 is over and we're on to a new year yet again.
A friend and I were IMing on Friday about the Ren Faire we want to go to this summer. She said she wanted to rent a costume for it and I immediately got nervous. She's the same friend that I hang with often, and is a size 6. The costumes at the Ren Faire are for people her size... not for people like me! Then I thought... who are "people like me?" Do other people look at me and only see that fat girl that I see? I still look in the mirror and feel like a size 28. Very rarely do I see a size 24. This sounds a lot like a self confidence and loving myself issue, but I'm not sure that's the case. I have been this size for so long that I don't know that I'll ever see a smaller size. So I told her that I'd probably just wear something I have, a corset top from Torrid that I've never worn. I bought it 4 or 5 years ago with the intention of losing weight to fit into it... of course that never happened. So after my talk with her I could not stop thinking about that top. I went to dig it out of the back of my closet and much to my surprise.... it was too big! I love and hate that at the same time... I love that I'm getting smaller, I hate that I wasted the money. Stupid double edge sword!
So after the top, I decided today to clean out my closet and my dresser. I probably got rid of 4 pairs of jeans (all of my 28's and a 32) and a lot of my larger shirts. They're sitting in a bag in front of my dresser because now I am terrified to let them go. I am so afraid that I am going to balloon again and that I'll need them right back. I know that's no way to think, but clothes are so expensive and I know that those fit... If I give them away, I'll have to start over. Why am I even thinking like that though? I am in a smaller size... it makes me feel FANTASTIC... why would I ever even think about going back? It still gonna be REALLY hard to let those go... UGH!
So then I was thinking about offering all of my larger clothes to a friend that I know is about my size... my old size, i guess. Is that rude to do? She's more of an acquaintance, not someone I talk to all that often. I don't want her to take it the wrong way... I don't think she will, but I know I'd feel really awkward if someone did that to me.
Since I started my journey in August, August 15th to be exact, it felt like this was going to be the longest journey of my life. The days were going by so slowly and I was expecting to just give up at any time. I am still shocked and amazed that I'm still going at this. This isn't like me... I've never stuck at ANYTHING this long. I love it. I love the newish me. I love that feeling when I put on something that I would have never fit into before. December 31st marked four and a half months on this journey and 71 pounds lost overall! WHAT!?!?! Four months ago it felt like 337 was gonna be my label forever. Now not even my drivers license has the correct number on it... it's even 10 pounds OVER at the moment!!
Four and a half months... wow. I'm hoping to hit the 100 pound mark by my birthday, June 21st. 237 would be an amazing number to be at!
Every year for the past 11 years or so my Mom and I and a bunch of our friends have been doing the annual Multiple Sclerosis 5k. Every year I dread it, knowing that it is gonna kick my butt. One year I was so out of shape I didn't even walk. This year... I want to run it! However... I get on the treadmill and immediately get bored out of my mind. Walking in place for 60 minutes just does not do it for me. Then, to top it off, RUNNING? Even thinking about running scares the bajeeezus outta me. I've already blogged about this, and I know a bunch of people are doing it at a higher weight than me, but I still can't get myself to do it. I don't even know how to start running!! I'm gonna fall off the treadmill and look like a fool or something! I need to start now to be able to do it by the first week in May.... but how?! Ugh... I dread it! I just wanna stay on my trusty elliptical!
So I don't know... I have a lot running through my mind that I can't seem to sort out or let go of. Help?!
Monday, December 19, 2011
I was really worried about this past weekend for a few reasons...
First, my boyfriends family Christmas party. I know from years past that the host (his aunt) always makes pasta for Christmas dinner. Before this year, this was great... I loved pasta! Now... not so great! Pasta is something I've tried to cut out completely cause its just empty calories that only taste amazing. I didn't do too bad. I did have a a few stuffed shells and an Italian sausage link. The deserts were tempting and I had a small piece of turtle pie and a cookie. I probably ended at about 2000 or so calories for that party (with appetizers from earlier in the day... mostly veggies though!)
Then, the 2nd reason I was worried about this weekend is because my best friend was coming over. She comes down about once a month or so and I know on those weekends, I'll be drinking. And eating. Annnnnd... not sleeping. So it makes for a lot of stress when I'm trying to be soooo good.
She came over after the party and we went out to the bar... of course. We tend to go to only one bar cause the bartender is cute and gives us a lot of free drinks! So we drank and then of course wanted Taco Bell. Damn you Taco Bell for being so tasty!! I gave in... I only ordered one thing, but with the tortilla and the meat and the sour cream, it was easily 600 or so calories. UGH!!!!
Sunday was horrible. I got up and was so sick. Runny nose that just would NOT stop. I went to the gym, got my hour work out in on the elliptical and wanted to go home and sleep. Of course not though cause my friend was over and we had to go shopping. Shopping wasn't bad... the best part of the whole trip was that I tried on a pair of size 24's at Lane Bryant and they FIT! They are maybe a smidgen too tight, but should fit GREAT soon! If I could make the font bigger here I would. Size TWENTY FOUR!!!!! That is amazing and feels so excellent. I came out of the dressing room smiling and my friend asked what I was smiling about... I said "I'm just happy!". She is tiny... a size 6 at least, so she has no idea how this makes me feel... but she was happy for me too!
So all in all the weekend wasn't too bad, but not great by any means. I know that there are at least two more dinners coming up that I am worried about this weekend. I just need to eat small portions and fill up on water. I like the way the 24's feel so I'll have to keep thinking about that when I shove anything into my mouth.
Still going good with my gym goal. I haven't missed a day yet in December and don't plan to until Christmas eve (i'll be out of town, but I'm still gonna try to get a walk in if it doesn't snow). The new gym opens today so they should be open 24 hours and on Christmas Day when I get back from my families houses.
Met, beat and surpassed my goal that I set back in November to lose 20 pounds by December 31st. Yay! New goal, once I see the new gym and get my feel for it, is not gonna be a weight goal, its gonna be a 5k goal!
I probably won't blog again before Christmas, so I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
How do you lose sizes and inches? I am losing weight just fine, but my inches are pretty much sticking. I started at a TIGHT 28 at 337 and have lost 59 pounds (now 278) and am only at a tight 26... Is it supposed to be going down more than that? I have started to step it up a bit and get back into strength training and have started using the stairmaster for about 10 minutes a day so far. I want these inches to go down, down, down!!! Am I just still too big for them to go down any?
Thursday, December 01, 2011
1. What did you eat for breakfast?
Oatmeal with raspberries
2. How much water do you drink a day?
Not enough. Mostly depends on the day. About 2 big glasses throughout the day at work, two more after working out and one or two with dinner. Gotta be careful or I'm up all night!
3. What is your favorite workout?
Elliptical - all I really do so far. Gotta branch out!
4. What is your favorite fruit?
Raspberries and Cuties (oranges)
5. What is your favorite vegetable?
Corn and asparagus
6. How many calories do you burn a week?
I try for a lot... 4,000 or so
7. How many calories do you eat a day?
Around 1200-1600 depending on the day
8. What are your favorite healthy snacks?
9. What do you usually eat for lunch?
Hot Pocket, lean cuisine, salad
10. What is usually for dinner?
chicken, lots of chicken. Rice. Chili, spaghetti sometimes, healthy meals.
11. What is your favorite body part to strength train?
12. What is your least favorite body part to strength train?
13. What is your least favorite exercise?
14. What is your favorite exercise?
15. What are your "bad" food cravings?
16. What is your go to workout song?
Lately its been Britney Spears - Till the world ends
17. Do you take vitamins or supplements?
multi every morning
18. How often do you eat out?
Once a week for sure, Tuesdays. Panera night. Otherwise once in a while on the weekends depending on whats going on.
19. Do you eat fast food?
Not normally. I have had taco bell twice in the past 4.5 months. That's it.
20. How do you stay motivated?
Looking at the progress I've made and knowing how badly I do NOT ever, ever, EVER, want to go back to 337!
21. Who is your biggest supporter?
My boyfriend. He keeps telling people how much I've lost and saying how proud of me he is!
22. How much weight have you lost?
51 pounds since August 15th, 2011
23. How did you determine your goal weight?
Just wanted to be anywhere below 200.
24. Do you have a gym membership?
Just signed up for Gold's gym. Currently going to a different gym till GOld's opens in the end of December.
25. How often do you work out?
No less than 6 days a week. Often times 7.
26. How did you find Spark?
Just surfin' the net, needing some inspiration... FOUND IT!!!
27. How much sleep do you get a night?
I try for 8 otherwise I'm a major crab!
28. Are you a morning or night workout person?
I used to do it in the mornings and realized I couldn't push myself as hard. Now, during the week, its right after work.
29. Do you have a "cheat" day?
If I do it's normally on a Saturday after I weigh in. But I try not to. Sometimes you just gotta though!
30. Do you drink soda?
Only if I'm really craving it. And its always diet. Regular is disgusting!
31. Do you drink alcohol? How much?
Vodka... not much though. Maybe one or twice a month.
32. What is your favorite thing about Spark?
Definitely the inspiration and motivation you can find by just reading a blog or chatting with a friend.
33. What do you not like about your body? What do you love about your body?
Right now... I dislike almost everything. However, i LOVE that my fingers are getting slimmer, as well as my face. I have a waist now too!
34. Do you have a workout buddy?
Nope. Sometimes I drag the boyfriend to the gym... but that's hardly ever.
35. What is the best thing that has changed about your life since committing to this Healthy Lifestyle?
So far, nothing. lol Just that fitting into a smaller size is nice. I haven't lost that much yet so the changes are a tad noticeable, but not as much as I'd like!
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