Sunday, January 19, 2014
Well this past week we had a "homework" assignment in my Harry Potter team and I failed miserably. Want to know why? It involved finding someone from the challenge and making them your friend if wanted but mostly to find out about someone in the challenge.
What happened? Nothing I didn't do it.
Why? It was out of my comfort zone.
I admitted it too. Someone else asked why it was so hard(not so personally but just a why generally) so I posted this....."Well I know what some of my problem is.....being shut out by other people in my life growing up. Trying to make friends and because I was the "fat girl" being left out, so I read, and read and read. Which made me "strange" to the others....oh well.....I do have friends, but I can count on one hand how many I do have there at all times."
That's not saying that I haven't found friends on here. I have but sometimes I just need to reach out to someone and talk but that doesn't happen very often either. I'm a loner. I admit it. Do I like it? Not always, I keep things to myself mostly (one of the reasons I don't blog, I just can't set myself up for things, and I don't write!). And then I know everyone has things they do and family to see and interact with and I just don't want to intrude. Yeah that old training " if they wanted to be with you they would make the effort". I do know it's a two way street...but I just don't know HOW to do it!
I made a big step almost 7 years ago....(Yikes has it been that long?????) I got on here and started tracking food and exercise, I fell off the wagon quite a few times over the years which is why I am still here and still overweight...well lets call a spade a spade...I'm obese. I started to make friends on here by joining teams...that was a BIG step for me, putting myself out there to be made "fun" of picked on, etc. Guess what???? That didn't happen, everyone was so supportive and friendly!
But I still can't reach out to make friends easy. I still join different teams to try them, to make new friends, to get support, etc. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. I leave the ones that don't have what I'm looking for or don't fit me very much.
I don't plan on leaving Hogwarts I love being there, I love the support from my house and others on there. I love the challenges, I just couldn't do this one. Sorry house.