Sunday, November 13, 2011
I haven't blogged in awhile. With spark, as I've said before, I have learned what I should be doing and why I should be doing it. Exercise helps your body for countless reasons, but you still have to change the way you eat. And it's hard. I have a full blown addiction to food in general and sugar. And I've been going through the 'whys'. I had a movie night last night. I was looking at the bodys of the actresses. I don't look anything like that. And why should I? It is their JOB to look like they do. And they get millions of dollars for it. I'm a receptionist. I'm not going to get fired for being fat! So, WHY? Why do something this hard? And then I got a glimpse of one of my wedding pictures. That was six and a half years ago, and I was beautiful. I'm not now, but I was. What has turned in to a double chin was a sculpted beautiful face. My body? I was even showing some skin, imagine that! And I began to study that picture and the other 3 in the living room. Engagement photos. Look at her eyes. She is so happy. Then I started to remember how I felt. Others thought I was beautiful, and so did I. And I walked a little taller. I had a confidence that has since withered with each pound I've gained (76 of them). And I realized I wanted to be her. And I can be! I read a thread on spark recently about 'what was your aha moment'. I read through everyone else's, aware that I didn't have one. Mine was last night. I know it is still going to be hard, but I'm going to get her back!