I'm going to get her back

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I haven't blogged in awhile. With spark, as I've said before, I have learned what I should be doing and why I should be doing it. Exercise helps your body for countless reasons, but you still have to change the way you eat. And it's hard. I have a full blown addiction to food in general and sugar. And I've been going through the 'whys'. I had a movie night last night. I was looking at the bodys of the actresses. I don't look anything like that. And why should I? It is their JOB to look like they do. And they get millions of dollars for it. I'm a receptionist. I'm not going to get fired for being fat! So, WHY? Why do something this hard? And then I got a glimpse of one of my wedding pictures. That was six and a half years ago, and I was beautiful. I'm not now, but I was. What has turned in to a double chin was a sculpted beautiful face. My body? I was even showing some skin, imagine that! And I began to study that picture and the other 3 in the living room. Engagement photos. Look at her eyes. She is so happy. Then I started to remember how I felt. Others thought I was beautiful, and so did I. And I walked a little taller. I had a confidence that has since withered with each pound I've gained (76 of them). And I realized I wanted to be her. And I can be! I read a thread on spark recently about 'what was your aha moment'. I read through everyone else's, aware that I didn't have one. Mine was last night. I know it is still going to be hard, but I'm going to get her back!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHRATES 11/16/2011 1:18AM

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PJMOGG 11/16/2011 1:16AM

AHA!!! paula Report Inappropriate Comment

SUEPERSTARS 11/13/2011 4:15PM

I'm glad you've had your ah-ha moment. I know it will make a difference for you! I want to say, though, that a person's outside is not what makes them beautiful - their inside matters so much more. And you're still the same person on the inside, so start treating yourself like you are the same person, deserving of the same respect. Yes, you've made some mistakes and / or some bad decisions, but that's okay - it happens to us all (even the super-skinny movie actresses). Besides, I think you look beautiful now - look at your profile picture, you have a fabulous smile and energy that shines through your eyes. Report Inappropriate Comment

READY2DOIT58 11/13/2011 12:04PM

Sounds like you have found your "Spark", good luck on the journey! Pat Report Inappropriate Comment

3:30 am

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

That's what time it is... but my cold medicine wore off and I was awakened by symptoms. I've taken more and am waiting to get sleepy again so I can go back to bed. But now is as good a time as any to tell you guys a secret... one that I've not told anyone. One of my biggest reasons for wanting to lose this weight is that for a couple of years I haven't been able to fit into my very nice wedding ring. It is so beautiful, exactly what I wanted. And I can't get it on at all. People ask me why I don't wear a wedding ring and I tell them a diamond is loose. Great big fibberooini! I just wanted to tell someone, and I think that people here might understand the emotion that goes along with this one!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TOPAZROSE 11/2/2011 8:44PM

Thank you for sharing this close to your heart resaon for weight loss. Hope you feel better soon. Report Inappropriate Comment

JESS0107 11/2/2011 3:02PM

My ring was mine too among other things. You just want something beautiful to wear to reflect how you feel!! Report Inappropriate Comment

PJMOGG 11/2/2011 12:52PM

Thanks for sharing...I don't think you are alone, so many of us cannot wear this important symbolic ring. I have not been able to wear mine for at least the last 12 years. And it was my grandmother's ring that we had redone for our wedding. Five years ago, my DH and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary in St Maarten, and he proposed again and gave me a 1.5 carat beautiful diamond ring, which I adore, and is now what I wear. But, what is funny, is when I read your secret, I too, felt that pang of emotion that goes along with knowing I can't wear something so beautiful and symbolic as my Gram's ring because I am too heavy. More motivation to make the change - paula Report Inappropriate Comment

BIGRODKC 11/2/2011 8:00AM

My Wedding band is very simple, but I haven't worn it in years. I understand that motivation, and that is a big deal. Hope you start feeling better. Report Inappropriate Comment

DONNAKOVAC 11/2/2011 5:02AM

((((great big giant get well hugs)))) first of all. I'm switching from days to night so by 1:30 this morning, I'd had my six hours of sleep (woke up two hours before the alarm went off) and now I've also walked two miles AND done my full upper body work out. Need to boost the metabolism if I'm going to survive this, and then hopefully a good nap this afternoon. as for the wedding ring, I spent the first 19 years or so not wearing mine, due to work, mostly - I've worked as a cook, a machinist, a welder, on farms, etc but then a couple of years ago, I put it on - um, forced it on. NOT a good idea. It's been stuck ever since. At first, it was so tight, it hurt! So as much as you have great intentions, be careful! I need to lose weight so that I can get my rings off! LOL :p We can do it! :-D By now, I'm hoping you can go back to sleep and shake off that cold. Sweet dreams! Report Inappropriate Comment

Cold

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

This cold is really kicking my butt! I am on medicine around the clock and my sinuses are still draining constantly (the drainage to the back of my throat has given me a sore throat as well.) I still feel weak. I can only eat softer foods due to the sore throat. I'm sleeping a ton (I went to bed at 7:00 last night.) I am just not shaking this cold like I would like to! Be sending me good wishes, guys!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUEPERSTARS 11/2/2011 2:57PM

Have you tried using a nasal rinse? Its just putting saline solution (salt water) through your sinuses - no medication or anything "addictive." I do it almost every day - I find it really helps if I've got a bit of a cold or allergies because it clears out all the mucus. Try using it after you shower because it won't work if you're completely clogged. This is the one I use. http://www.neilmed.com/can/ sinusrinse.php Get well soon! (And just so there's no question: I DO NOT work for that company, lol!) Report Inappropriate Comment

EUPHRATES 11/2/2011 5:41AM

Hope you feel better soon! Report Inappropriate Comment

PJMOGG 11/2/2011 1:13AM

get well Girlfriend and take care... ((hugs)) paula Report Inappropriate Comment

JUNA89 11/1/2011 10:45PM

Get WELL!!! Drink some hot tea and get some vipor rub to rub on you chest, then cover your throat with a towel. That should help! FEEL BETTER!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment

Third Month's the Charm

Monday, October 31, 2011

I've been on spark for 2 months. Rather than losing, I've gained a couple of pounds. I am learning how you're supposed to eat, but I have been giving in to temptation. Do I know better now that I am on spark. Yes. I've done it anyway. I feel addicted to sugar. I think maybe I just need to buckle down with sugar like someone who is trying to quit smoking. If I see it that way, maybe that will help.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EUPHRATES 11/2/2011 5:44AM

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PJMOGG 11/1/2011 11:08PM

Hang in there...that is what I am telling myself too, after blowing it all Halloween.. Thank goodness it's November and Halloween is behind me! That's all I have got to say!! I was doing SO well...good groceries, lots of veggies and fruit..didn't even think about candy. Bought it the day before Halloween, on purpose. Great. Good... Then my husband and daughter left me alone with the chocolate candy bowl while the trick-er-treaters were coming to the door...next thing I know, I'd had like 10 candy bars...I'm ashamed to admit it...one minute I was good, the next it was just "one" here and "one" there...Crumb!!! What a waste of all my hard work... Me...one step forward and one back...just plain stupid.... Worked all day today, 12 hrs, up at 0630 am and home at 1000 pm...tired...and done beating myself up...off tomorrow.. IT'S A NEW DAY......AND A NEW MONTH...paula Report Inappropriate Comment

JSTHIESS 10/31/2011 6:48PM

What is great is that you have embarked on a healthier you journey for the last two months:) I've struggled too... but i feel like i just gotta keep tweeking until i find the right path for me. Keep up the hard work! You're going to find the key for you! Report Inappropriate Comment

JESS0107 10/31/2011 3:20PM

Hey, if it works, it works!! Report Inappropriate Comment

LUKEDADDY 10/31/2011 2:06PM

I hear ya! It seems like this is all 1 step forward, 2 steps back right now. Hang in there! Report Inappropriate Comment

Late night trip to walgreens

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Unfortunately, my cold has continued to get worse. Everyday I hope it's the worse day and I'll be better. Last night my sinuses swelled to the point I could not breathe out of my nose. At all. And since I'm a nose breather instead of a mouth breather I found I kept holding my breath. I sent my husband out to get the Vicks pills. I took them last night and this morning and at this time I am breathing from my nose. Let's hear it for small victories! I do think I'm gonna go home and collapse after work today, though. Next week will be better, I'm sure!

  

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OZARKMARY 10/29/2011 9:21AM

Glad you're feeling better this morning. I thought I had allergies giving me a bit of a sore throat and a real stuffiness, but then my chest starting tightening and the telltale awful taste in my mouth told me of upper respiratory, so took antibiotic and beat that. But still, 2 weeks later with the stuffiness. We got our 2nd heavy frost last night so maybe I'll clear now. Hope you get that needed rest and you clear up much quicker than me. Have a fun Halloween weekend! Give the candy away!!!! Report Inappropriate Comment