PAMAZON   9,715
8,500-9,999 SparkPoints
PAMAZON's Recent Blog Entries

Joined a gym! What?! I hate gyms!

Sunday, January 26, 2014

The unthinkable has happened. For many years, I have been down on gyms. It's not that I really hate them, but I've felt that they're not really necessary. Working out in the outdoors is so much more rewarding for me personally. I've been known to laugh at all the sad gym monkeys inside the condensation-covered windows staring at their screens while they "push" themselves. Meanwhile, I'm doing deadlifts with my 45 lb. bar and plates out in my driveway, then going for a trail run by the Yellow River. Is there really any other way to do this? Well, not for me!

So what made me join a gym today? This ding-dang-arang foot injury that has squashed my outdoor workout groove. It seems to be a really severe case of plantar fascitiis (which I've had before 15 years ago) with a probable heel spur back by my achilles. I had an acute injury incident while running in August and it hasn't been good since. I haven't even tried running in 5 months, biking works okay (it feels sore afterward), and now walking and hiking are also not options. The pain following formerly fun cardio activities is nasty and I end up limping around the house.

So this injury has driven me to the pool, swimming works, doesn't hurt, and burns calories. That means it is something I have to do, even in January! And I had this thought a couple weeks ago that maybe rowing would work. It isn't weight-bearing and it burns calories too. So I went to a gym near me to try it out for a few days. They would only let me have a one-day pass to try the one rowing machine. It didn't hurt my foot, but I really didn't like being back at the gym very much. It's a small gym, and the single rowing machine was positioned between treadmills and upright stationary bikes. This made me feel strange and inferior because everything around me towered over me.

I decided to go try out a few more rowing days on a 3-day pass to LA Fitness that opened up near me. I walked into this new gym and was instantly frustrated because I really liked it. Really, really. But I knew that I couldn't afford to join, or justify the cost, and I was sure that the whole membership thing would be a big hassle. But I couldn't help be jealous of the stream of people coming in scanning their member card and going to workout whenever they wanted. I rowed, and the machines were much nicer and had better placement. I discovered the spinning studio and busted out a fast and furious 15 minutes. I tried the elliptical, and then hit the machines. Gah! It was so nice to have all that nice shiny weight equipment at my disposal. Oh and the sauna, and jacuzzi, and pool to swim in. Holy calorie burnin' batman, this place rocks!

So I show up today for my last day and find out they're waiving the sign up fee, it's $29/mos. No fees for cancelling or freezing your acct. I couldn't believe I was considering it after all my gym trash talk. I am really flipping excited to report that I am a gym member. I hope this gets me some quality calorie burnin' and allows me to lose weight so I can make my foot feel better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 1/31/2014 2:44PM

    I know - I'm the same way about gyms and working out. Why pay when you can do it for free at home?? But I've been thinking a lot about how stalled I am and wondering if more options wouldn't be good for me. GAH! is right...

So glad it all worked out for you though girlie!! Now get to thee gym and bust ass!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TECH1960PS 1/28/2014 12:08PM

    Good for you , joining a gym. I hope it all works out for you, good luck with your continued weight loss. emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
STEPHM-ARATHON 1/28/2014 10:46AM

    I also hate the gym! Good luck and hope you heal soon and enjoy the gym well enough while you do.

Report Inappropriate Comment
EMMACLAIRE5 1/27/2014 2:43PM

    Good for you signing up, and lucky to find such a good deal! I'm dealing with PF right now as well and it's SO frustrating! I've replaced my long runs with swimming the past 2 weeks, but I just miss running :-( Oh, well, I'll just need to buck up and try other things, just like you're doing - thanks for the inspiration!

Hang in there and enjoy the new gym!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITWITHIN 1/27/2014 3:03AM

    It's nothing like finding the perfect gym. I'm currently dealing plantar fascitiis since last week. I just wish the pain would stop at this point, so I can go hard core with my exercising again. Enjoy your new gym membership.

Report Inappropriate Comment

My New Year

Monday, January 13, 2014

I am working on a new beginning, even though it is not the stereotypical 1st day of the year. Iím reminded of when I started my weight loss journey back on January 8, 2008. Six years! I had been working by myself for a few months after Wyattís 1st birthday. I had no luck at all going it alone. So this same week 6 years ago, I decided to buckle down and start reading Bob Greeneís Best Life book and join the online forum. The sense of community I had there was just what I needed. The motivation to meet my goals EVERY day so that I could have a ďgreenĒ week that showed off all the hard work Iíd done was powerful. So now that Iíve had this backslide, although the weight graph looks more like a hill climb) how to regain that sense of goal-meeting to keep me on track for days, weeks, and months on end?
I havenít erased all the progress I made, although Iím much closer to my starting weight than I am to my lowest weight during the 6-year journey. While some parts of my weight gain have been out of my control, most of it was all very conscious and calculated. Cookie dough here, chocolate bars there, and a sprinkling of powdered sugar over the whole damn mess. But my exercise, workouts, and athletic events would normally help balance all that overeating. This would result in a nice long plateau with no net gain over months. This year was the most injurious year of my life though. Quadriceps strain in January, left hamstring pull in May, right hamstring pull in June, groin strain in July, and the straw that broke the big ladyís athletic lifeÖ. a running injury that resembled plantar fasciitis that has yet to be resolved. The last 5 months of my life look so much like all 37 years before I started this journey. Little fits and starts of exercise followed by long periods of inactivity. And this foot injury is killing me slowly, but more on that in another blog. Here is what Iíve been asking myselfÖ
What if I had managed to start eating really clean when I got hurt? If Iíd put all the focus on eating right since I couldnít build training schedules and sign up for races, wouldnít that have been amazing?
What if I had continued to train hard to build strength in all my other body parts? Perhaps I would have started an upper body ST plan to die for, imagine the arms and shoulders Iíd be sporting! And those extra muscles would have burned more calories.
What if I had decided that swimming would be the way to go since even walking left me hurting? Perhaps I would have burned thousands of calories and had that cool thing happen where you eat better because youíve had such a hard workout early that morning.
So yeah, I can look back, be critical, and find all sorts of room for improvement over the past 6 months. I do not have that time machine though, so I have to turn all that into a present day analysis. How about if today I focus on one of those three items listed above? What a cool idea. Letís do it.
So here are the things I have done in preparation for a new life. I have found two local friends and weíve all weighed in and set weight loss and fitness goals. I have set a goal of swimming at least 2 times each week. I have set a goal of strength training 4 times each week. I also am logging my food every day. This often gets tiring fast. But honestly, I just canít be trusted in a house full of food and no accountability. My addicted brain has found the most ridiculous ways to justify my dumb food choices. Without fail, everyday, I must log my food and stick with it. I have tried stickers and calendars and all sorts of stuff. But I think I just need to make myself reflect each day with this journal or a video blog. I also must log my food for the next day before I go to bed. The mornings are so full of stuff, if I wait, it might not happen.
I am always looking ahead to some vacation or social gathering to hold in my mind as a ďdateĒ when I shall achieve awesomeness. But seriously, it never works. Never ever ever. And oddly enough, all those dates come and go no matter how I look. I have never cancelled a vacay or social gathering based on my appearance. So why do this to myself? I would like to string together a number of goal-oriented days that makes my mind spin. I want to look back on all the weeks/months and feel stunned, did I do that? I want to look at my weight loss progress graph and say, ďYeah boy! That steady trend downward is looking GOOD!Ē These are the things that I remember so well from past successful missions. These are the things that I will experience again. But I canít live like Iíve been living and feel those things. I must live anew.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMACLAIRE5 1/14/2014 2:59PM

    Sounds like you have a great plan and good support buddies for getting back on track!

And I totally relate to not being trustworthy in a house full of food. I'll walk by the same bag of candy 10 times in a week, but catch me in a weak moment, pass number 11 results in a total fail :-(

Good luck and here's to a stellar 2014!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNNERRACHEL 1/14/2014 2:07AM

    Nothing is ever wasted and I love the approach you're taking.

You have learned about what you can do physically and you have learned about nutrition and ST. Now you will take what you've learned and put it into practice.

I'm confident you will do that.

Injuries are so painful! Swimming is amazing. I think you will love the feeling you get, minus the injury. Why aren't more of us swimming? Non-impact. Great calorie burn. Challenging. It seems like the perfect way to work out, full body workout. And ST is great! Will you be lifting heavy weights? I've been reading so many great reports about lifting. Just train smart and do what's right for your body.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
4EVERADONEGIRL 1/13/2014 7:07PM

    I am right there with you, Pam!! You know I was training for my half, so I kind of allowed myself to eat what I wanted...because I was training, right?? I needed chocolates, extra servings of food, double the coffee creamer, Cold Stone and so much fuel my running. HA! Oh, the lies we tell ourselves, eh?

But I started back up again today. My hunger, of course, has been outta control and I'm going to go over my calorie goal, but it's going to take some time to get my body used to what it feels like to eat normal portions again.

So here we anew! Let's do it!!!!

Report Inappropriate Comment

The Beauty of a Calorie Deficit

Friday, September 27, 2013

Sometimes you come across a blog/article that is full of information you already know. And sometimes you are in just the right frame of mind to soak all that goodness in and internalize it into a force for change in your own life.

That happened after I clicked on a link posted by someone on Fitocracy. It presented the simplest of all weight loss summations. If you want to lose weight, you need to create a calorie deficit every day. In the back of my mind I'd known for quite awhile that I needed to start tracking my food to get a hold of my overeating. As a scientist, I have firmly understood the thermodynamics of energy in vs. energy out. Nothing in the article was new research or new to me, but it hit me like a high-speed train just the same.

Why do I get caught up in this or that new book on weight loss?
Why do I base my weight loss almost 100% on fitness/competition?
Why do I suddenly decide that if I change the time of meals it will solve my problems?
Why do I get so wrapped up in not eating some carbs while I do eat others?
Why do I become convinced that I need this or that supplement to help me?

Because believing it's as a simple as calorie deficit makes me look dumb. If I just have to log my food and watch the scale go down, then why don't I do it?
Because I tracked food for so long and got tired of it.
Because it doesn't work when you only log successful days.
Because you can't log 3 out of 7 days and expect to see loss week after week.

So I'm here to share the blog with you and tell you that I am committing to achieve a calorie deficit as many days a week as I can muster. But my main commitment is to track EVERY SINGLE DAY. I do not care if I down an entire jar of Nutella, I will log it. Seeing the harsh reality of my choices before day's end can only do me more good in the long run. Rather than doing the naughty things repeatedly until my pants don't fit, I can see the damage sooner in the numbers on the screen.

Please feel free to check in (aka stalk) me to make sure if I'm keeping my word. I appreciate some verbal abuse and hounding! I really need to be held accountable.

Here is the link to that blog.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMACLAIRE5 10/4/2013 12:09AM

    Nutella...aaarrrrghhh!! That stuff is just...

I know where you're coming from - hang in there!

Report Inappropriate Comment
4EVERADONEGIRL 9/30/2013 1:24PM

    Oh my gosh - get outta my head, woman!!!

"Because believing it's as a simple as calorie deficit makes me look dumb. If I just have to log my food and watch the scale go down, then why don't I do it?
Because I tracked food for so long and got tired of it.
Because it doesn't work when you only log successful days.
Because you can't log 3 out of 7 days and expect to see loss week after week. "

Yeah...true story.

Okay, I'm committing with you. I'm going to track it ALL and strive for the deficit. Let's check in with each other next Monday and see how we're doing. MmmKay?

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEAJESS 9/28/2013 4:31PM

    emoticon blog.

You don't need to spend energy answering any of those questions. I've asked them too. It's enough for me now to know that they are unskillful, delusional thoughts and to have a snappy answer to them when they pop up. And soon or later, they will.

Beck Diet Solution has a skill for every day of a 28-day program and each on has an affirmation that read "DIETING WILL BE EASIER WHEN I (insert skill)."


True words for me.

emoticon I'm so glad your ears were open to hear! It took me YEARS on SparkPeople before I got the baby step streaks idea. Whaddaya gonna do? It takes what it takes.

With your attitude, you are bound to succeed. I'm gonna stalk you so you can inspire me!


Report Inappropriate Comment
MAJORLIE 9/27/2013 9:42PM

    It is a little painful to record and see when you have ate two to five hundred calories over your limit or that you are twenty to thirty grams over on carbs. You are right though. By recording at least you know, okay, apparently that wasn't the right portion or that wasn't the right combo, right item or what ever. I need to continue with my recording no matter what I think I did or didn't do. Thanks for reminding me of the importance behind tracking.

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNNERRACHEL 9/27/2013 9:37PM

    It's true: simple, yet effective.

And sometimes we are just in the right place to receive information. We may know something but it is not until a point that we are able to soak it in that we can truly understand. And then something that may have seemed difficult or impossible is suddenly made easier and possible. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Out. Of. Touch.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Are you looking for a positive blog? Well, this ain't it.

Are you looking for me to come back up in here all sad and glum, but feeling hopeful about the future? Sorry, not gonna do that right now.

You want to hear me get up in the pulpit and say hallelujah and amen sisters, I have the answer and I'm comin' clean? Maybe, come back next Sunday.

Truth, I haven't been here in months. I haven't lurked. I haven't quietly read along with what you're doing. Instead I'd put my sports bra on in the morning, plan a workout, then spend the day dipping the spoon into Nutella. I have not come here, even once, to check in on a team. I have been too busy playing candy crush saga while laying on my bed, injured foot propped up "resting" after my "hard" physical therapy. I had no idea what my spark page looked like anymore, it was like Christmas morning a couple minutes ago. What color will it be? What picture is in the background? When was my last blog? My last status? Squeeeee!

Okay, it was a little more dread than uber-excitement. I was pleased to see that the background pic was Wheeler peak in New Mexico. Mainly because it's the only goshdanged thing I've accomplished this year of an athletic nature. I climbed that beeyotch. But reading my last blog was disappointing, 8 weeks pre-hike when I thought I was getting skinnier for the hike (newsflash: I hiked all 200 lbs. of me up that 13,000 footer). My most recent status from 157 days ago read something about how many days of clean eating would it take to erase a few bad days of binging. Hmmm, so how about a few MONTHS of binge eating?

Sweet baby Jesus in the sky, I do not want to hate myself. I do not want to loathe these last couple months because they've been full of clumsiness and bull-headedness and injuries and physical therapy and limping. I had a fabulous time icing my foot on the sofa while eating chocolate. I read some of the best books I've ever read. I have enjoyed some terrific times with my kids and my husband. The bigger belly I've been carrying around, and the shame of letting those around me down (I know I haven't really, but I can't shake that feeling) has been trying to pull me down and keep me down.

I have come to this blog with absolutely nothing productive to say. I do not have answers, I do not have much of a plan, I have not got some THING on the horizon that I am needing to lose weight for. I just have a lot of the same ol' frustration, anger, and humiliation that I've been dealing with since I was 12. It's a roller coaster ride I have never gotten off of. But I feel like I'm ready to just start chipping away at this a little at a time. No gimmicks. No challenges. No magic pills. No events to train for. Just me, my brain, my body, my heart. Maybe I can come back here tomorrow and have something positive to say, but for today my message is simple... Hello, my name is Pam, I love life, I don't always love myself, and I'm going to see what I can accomplish tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SEAJESS 11/6/2013 4:42PM

    emoticon honesty!
Been there, done that, hope I don't go there again but not counting on it. Maybe the best we can ever do is to shorten the time we spend dipping into the Nutella.
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
4EVERADONEGIRL 9/30/2013 1:21PM

    I missed you! I didn't even realize just how much until this blog post and your comment on my page!!!!!

Love you bunches and so glad you are going to show up and see what you can accomplish each new day.

I'm still your first-mate, so let's do it (again). hahahaha

Where we headed, Cap'n????

Report Inappropriate Comment
_MAYBETHISTIME_ 9/16/2013 7:52PM


I'm SO glad you're back!

Report Inappropriate Comment
REDRUNNERMOM713 9/16/2013 11:22AM

    This TOTALLY sounds like me! Minus the injury and physical therapy, although I do have major back pain. Anyway... I feel your pain! I'm disgusted with how I've gotten and I KNOW in my mind what needs to be done, it's just getting going again. Maybe we can chip away at ourselves a little at a time together! I've GOT to do something and it sounds like you do too. We can definitely do this! It's great to see you back! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUNNERRACHEL 9/15/2013 9:59PM

    I am proud of you for coming back without the answers, without positive feelings, without knowing what's next. I think many stay away and feel like they can't come back without knowing what they are supposed to learn from this season.

Catching up on books and spending quality time with family is great. In fact, that sounds wonderful.

I am sorry you were dealing with injury and physical therapy. I have been there and can definitely empathize.

I am glad you are back.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Watch out! Here comes the Tooter! Toot! Toot!

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

I wasnít sure what to blog about, but since I havenít written in so long, I thought Iíd start with the positive.

I started a 10-week quest for health and fitness on 3/21. I picked that date because it was 10 weeks until we fly off for vacation to the Land of Enchantment (New Mexico for those not in the know). Iím planning to hike the highest peak while there with one of my high school friends, and this 16-mile hike at an altitude of 9,500-13,167 feet will be formidable. So preparation is required. I need two things for this hike:

1. Better level of fitness emoticon
2. Less weight to carry emoticon

My simple plan is to work out more and eat less. Heard of that one? Iíll get my heart ready for action, build a bunch of beautiful muscles, and eat so the fat just melts off me. And before I get all blah-blah-negative-grumpy-blah about how I never stick to my plans, let me do some positive self-talkÖ

The first week I worked out everyday. *TOOT* emoticon (I ate like crap)
The second week I worked out even harder. *TOOT* emoticon

And on April Fools I got to work full force with the help from my Anti-Blah girls and the Sand In Your Crack challenge. Itíll lead me straight up to Memorial Day weekend. Iíve outlined the things I track each day and Iíve had 3 successful days so far. Here are some more horn toots about my eating the last few daysÖ

emoticon I have found Easter chocolate around the house and rather than eat it, I put it away. *TOOT*

emoticon I went out to eat Mexican with the kids and didnít even eat a single chip while waiting on our food. *TOOT*

emoticon I had to provide a dessert for my sonís soccer team Monday, which I would normally bake myself because Iím a great baker and cheap. Instead I bought store-made cupcakes so I wouldnít have batter and frosting to deal with. *TOOT*

As part of my tracking for the SIYC challenge, I am putting a little star down for each time I turn away from a temptation. When my brain would normally rationalize something so it could make its way into my mouth, Iím saying, ďNO! That isnít allowed and I will not be fooled by you, sneaky brain.Ē I put my star on the tracking page and give myself credit for strengthening my resistance muscle. Iíve been strengthening that giving-in muscle for WAY too long. Itís time to stand up for myself and my real goals.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4EVERADONEGIRL 4/5/2013 11:25AM

    I'm so proud of you for not just doing it, but for being willing to TOOT your own horn about your successes, because in all honesty, what gets ME motivated is hearing other people be successful...and it's all about me, right?? ;-) hahahaha

You are showing yet again why you are the Captain of our little boat, girlie! Love ya to pieces for it too! Let's kick some booty...and I expect to hear you screaming from the top of that mountain all the way over in California...ya hear me???

Report Inappropriate Comment
REDRUNNERMOM713 4/4/2013 9:40AM

    Toot away girl! You are doing great. I love the idea of giving yourself a star/sticker for each time you resist temptation. I may have to borrow that! I'm a visual person and I think that might really help me. Continue pushing like you have. I know you can do it! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PKBOO3 4/4/2013 8:44AM

    Great motivation! Keep it up and enjoy your vacation!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RUSSELLORAMA 4/3/2013 8:56PM

    Go Pam! You've got this!


Report Inappropriate Comment

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Last Page