Monday, September 22, 2008
I had a great weekend. Many, many positive comments about my health and success. I love these people! They support me and care about me.
Why then, do I turn around later and binge? Am I still rewarding myself with food? While I was on my way to get another serving of chocolate, it occurred to me that I should maybe stop and think about why I was doing it. But then I said, "nah", and got the chocolate anyway. Chocolate is not even my fav food.
So I didn't sleep well. Too much chocolate. Then there is the 5:00 am phone call from DH: the car caught on fire during his paper route this morning. We have no money to buy another car. But he must have one to do his job. Can you fix a car that has had a fire? It was a small fire, he says.
Food fog. Fatigue. Stress. Could be a long day/week.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
This is the craziest and busiest September that I have had in years. Soccer and school for the kids. Community band for all of us. CD release party and associated visual project and rehearsals. Deadlines at work. Family gatherings. Social gatherings. Instrument rehearsals.
The result? No routine and no time. I am still making breakfast and lunch to take to work. Supper choices are good, but I am eating them too late, getting too hungry, then continuing to eat after I am already full.
And because I am out too late, I am tired when I am eating supper. I have determined that I am really a "fatigue" eater. Being tired leads me to the worst overindulging. September has had "fatigue eating" times at least two or three nights each week.
I have made some adjustments. Instead of cooking something on the weekend to use for weekday lunches, I am having salads. Less prep time than the cooking. I have not resorted to fast foods or prepared foods (except for sushi....I love sushi....wish I could afford it more often). Cottage cheese and yogurt are staples for getting protein.
Exercise is going well. As usual, I am behind on my walking miles during the first part of the month, so now I have to play catch up. The goal is good, though, otherwise I would just say "I'm too busy" and not walk at all. Biking is going well. DH and I are going to attempt a 50-mile bike ride on Tuesday. I am looking forward to it, but wondering how I will feel after 50 miles. 25 miles is the most that I have done in a single day this summer.
I've been doing a bit of housework in the mornings after packing lunch for the kids and making my bed. This helps me to feel like something is under control anyway.
So what now? Next I need to hang on to the exercise, the food prep, and the bit of housework, and add on determination to stop my "after supper" eating. This is my biggest challenge yet. I have tried "Other goals" here, notes posted around my house, restricting certain foods in my house....nothing is "clicking" for me yet.
Maybe I need a reward of some kind for a streak. I'll think about that...
Shameless plug: check out the music from my church's CD Release party at www.elimproject.com My photo is under "The Band". If you listen to the sample music, I am the backup singer in "Because". Let me know what you think.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Okay, I know it is geeky, but a chart just sends my heart into a spin. I love 'em. They inspire me. I don't know when I'll do this many miles in a single month again, so I'd better brag it up now. I am amazed that I actually did it! Check out those red and blue boxes!
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Two years ago today, something happened to me, and I started working toward a healthier weight. I lost 90 pounds in the first year, and 22 more in the second year. I am somewhat disappointed that I did not reach my "magical" weight goal by today (six more to go to get there). Then I remembered what I said on my home page about setting a weight goal for a particular date. Setting a weight goal for a specific date just doesn't work for me. I exercised fanatically in August and carefully tracked my calories burned and eaten. Still, I did not get there; that could have something to do with the days when I went over my calorie range...and there were plenty of those, I can tell you. Realistically my current weight is at the top of what I consider my maintenance range. I could consider myself as "there".
On the plus side, all that exercising showed me that I could be very active and reach goals that look beyond my limits. My goals were to walk 120 miles and bike 200 miles in August. The final total? I walked 130 miles and biked 230 miles.
For September, I am scaling back my exercise. A goal of walking 100 miles and biking 100 miles. After last month, this seems like I'm being lazy! I am going to focus on other things like improving my music ability (read: practicing), arranging some handbell pieces, and hanging out with my family and friends. I am going to continue tracking my food and exercise, trying to stay in a calorie range that will allow me to lose the last few pounds slowly, but still feel like I am not really restricting my food.
All in all, I plan to take a more balanced approach to life, trying to move my attention away from food and exercise toward other things.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Next week will be the anniversary of two years of weight loss for me. My goal is to reach a healthy BMI by 9/4.
So how am I doing? Pretty good, if you look at the whole picture. I started at 282 pounds, now I weigh 168 pounds. That's 114 pounds gone. That is 40% of me gone. Started at size 26, now I wear size 12, down seven sizes.
Still I struggle with old habits. This week, I seem to be finding it particularly difficult to resist my old habits. You would think after all this time, the new habits would take over. Whatever happened to 21 days to make a habit? For me, it is more like 2100 days.
So even though I have blown it in the middle of the day (way, way, way too much candy), I will have a sensible dinner. If I must have a snack, it will be one serving and NOT out of the package. I will not punish myself for a mistake. Instead I will forgive myself and move ahead.
This weekend, I will log my food in a notebook. I will plan sensible and tasty meals. I will not eat out of the package; instead I will measure/estimate a single serving and enjoy it. I will eat like a reasonable thin person.
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