OVERWORKEDJANET   31,997
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Thanks WATERMELLEN, for poking holes in my cheese!

Friday, September 12, 2014

"indulging would trigger a full blown fat/salt/sugar simple carbfest . . . from which I might emerge after Thanksgiving and after Christmas and after Valentine's Day in or about May."
Whoa!
2 nights ago at the peak of my latest crisis, I was standing in the kitchen, cutting pieces of cheese to eat with crackers while waiting for 2 slices of pizza to heat in the oven.
Followed that with ice cream-and added caramel sauce no less!

WHO DID MY SHOPPING?????????
The other Janet.
The one who handles crisis with food.

The gouda was to add to my butternut squash soup. The pizza was purchased by DH. I ask him to pick up dinner, that's what he cooks. The ice cream made it home when I shopped in a fit of rage from things going wrong in my life. The caramel topping was the suicidal, I might as well die from eating crap, moment.

The Janet who knows better has suffered eater's remorse from too much salt, fat and sugar.
I started the change-over last night with sun-dried tomato salsa on crackers; they are gone. The ice cream is gone and shouldn't be purchased again.


Mighty good soup without the cheese.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POSITIVEHOPE 9/12/2014 6:09PM

    It's so easy to fall back into those old patterns in a crisis. I loved how you were aware in real time the effect and cost of those choices. That is progress in the right direction. Cheese is still my trigger food. We still can't be friends because it doesn't play nicely. I have stopped listening to but it would go so nice in the soup. Yeah, right. Sorry. I eat cheese when ordering at a restaurant and someone else portions it out. It's dang amazing how 4 oz. of cheese can simply disappear from the package one whack at a time.
Keep reinforcing how good you feel when you eat healthy foods. Keep remembering that a crisis won't last forever. Tell yourself that what you need is a polar fleece, a good movie and a cup of tea to make things feel all better.

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1CRAZYDOG 9/12/2014 10:06AM

    CHEESE! Can't get away from it here in Wisconsin. OMG!

Well, as Morticia says, there's always going to be my evil twin lurking about too, waiting to lunge. It's all about parenting that evil twin and moderation.

HUGS

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SUSANNAH31 9/12/2014 8:46AM

    (I love butternut squash soup without cheese. It is one of my favorites.)

Sometimes we have to get it out of our system -- nothing will do but that food.
The big difference is that here at SP, we get back on track in a day or so.

When something like this happened while I was doing Weight Watchers, I would start missing meetings and eventually drop out --of the program and the diet-- because of it. The guilt and feelings of failure would get to me. How many times did that happen to me?

At SP instead, you are told that we all have done it, and you are given support and encouragement.

And the best part is that it really helps.

Comment edited on: 9/12/2014 8:46:55 AM

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/12/2014 8:41AM

    The older I get, and maybe the wiser I get, the more I realize that bad Morticia will never be completely dead and will rear her ugly head from time to time. My hope is that when this happens that I have enough gumption to say, "You can have one serving of cheese without the crackers, a serving of pizza with the grease blotted off, one serving of light ice cream without the caramel topping. If I do that I can probably stay within calories, though my carb intake will be way too high. Yes, I will have eaten too much processed food which I want to avoid, too much gluten and salt which is bad for me and a lot of dairy which I may not tolerate either. But it's better than falling face first in this stuff, bloating up, and dealing with the aftermath for days. Prior to menopause when I was thin, up until the age of 46, I ate whatever I wanted. I just didn't eat eat too much and didn't eat constantly. I'm not the type of person who can give up pizza, cheese, and ice cream for life and I don't know that I would want to. I just want to know when to stop and how to indulge without going crazy. I see plenty of people do that and I did it before too so it can be done. Thin people have achieved balance. They have a ONE cookie and quit. They can have a serving of potato chips and quit. I'm looking for the 80-90% rule. If I can achieve that I will be in pretty good shape.

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WATERMELLEN 9/12/2014 7:47AM

    You make me chuckle -- and of course begin fantasizing about Swiss cheese!!! We're in this together, absolutely!!

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/12/2014 7:24AM

    Yeah, WATERMELLEN's blog yesterday resonated with me, too. My most recent "bad behavior" session lasted longer than earlier ones, and I'm convinced the change of seasons played a role. Now's when I want to tank on a few extra pounds and hibernate in my warm cave.

But I can't THIS weekend because in my "what was I thinking" phase, high from my athletic achievement in June... I signed on for another Olympic distance triathlon which will be in the chilly air Sunday starting at 8. Wish me luck... as usual I'm second guessing my training and feeling completely unprepared... and a part of me is promising that I'll let myself "go there" with warm, comforting food AFTER the race!

emoticon Hang in there. Remember us? The Mentally Tough crowd? We are STILL under here!

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ROXYZMOM 9/12/2014 7:11AM

    What is it about that darn cheese?? It always seems to start there.
Great job bringing it all to a halt!

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TRYINGHARD54 9/12/2014 5:54AM

    i did the same thing, I'm grateful theres always tomorrow..
emoticon

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Remembrances and peace

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I remember...
The Cuban Missile Crisis, air raid drills and fallout shelters.
My parents whispering.
Vietnam.
My friends went off to war...or Canada.
I remember life moving on.
Then I got busy with life. Job, kids, family.
Then one day the world imploded.
Shadowed by that fearful day was another tragedy 2 months later in Queens New York when flight 587 went down.
We locals had our fears renewed until the investigation revealed it was an accident.
A memorial was erected and atop the memorial is a quotation, in both Spanish and English, from Dominican poet Pedro Mir. [Wikipedia]

"Después no quiero más que paz."

Translation: "Afterwards I want nothing more than peace."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 9/11/2014 10:05PM

    I remember those times as well. That's a great quote. It really does express my feelings well.

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/11/2014 9:29PM

    Amen.

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ROXYZMOM 9/11/2014 9:19PM

    Amen!!

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WATERMELLEN 9/11/2014 9:18PM

    Up here in Canada we're still so grateful to have acquired so many terrific Americans during the Vietnam era -- absolutely some of the most Canadian of Canadians!!

We all want peace. And the price of peace is sometimes quite unbearable . . .

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1CRAZYDOG 9/11/2014 9:14PM

    Amen!

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Living with someone who can't throw anything away. Venting then moving on.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Need a pen, post-it pad, company notepad, an insulated coffee cup or key chain picked up at a convention? Come to my store.
It's a politic way of stating I live with a hoarder. You can't walk in my garage except for the path to the freezer. The shed is full. One bedroom is full. He rents a storage room. He is encroaching on another bedroom.

He gets fixated on projects, then drops them. There are many items purchased for projects that never see fruition. 30 years worth of projects. My own OCD catalogues these items and I can tell you when anything was obtained, how much it was and for what project. I do bring them up when I've had a moment of anxiety. There are many anxieties that go along with this; most of them mine.
Over the years I've tossed things when he wasn't looking.
Fee, Fie, Foe, Fum. The giant knows someone moved one of his things. "Where is my..." (stress ball with the crack in it because it's dried out)
Yes, I'm the woman who hides and waits until he leaves for work then sneaks stuff into the trash or pours waste food on top of items so I know he won't go into the trash.

Not asking for sympathy or even empathy from fellow spousal sufferers.

Just screaming it out there today as I'm having a moment.

However, this weekend I was astounded he threw out clothes. Being the non-compliant diabetic that he is, he's lost about 40 pounds in the past 2 years.
He got dressed for a meeting and his pants kept falling off, the shirt looked like he took it off that giant. He's gone from a size 40 to 34 pants. He willingly OMG! tossed 2 suits, a jacket, 8 pair of pants and 8 shirts. I counted.
Then he tried on the 2 suits he had left. One was his father's (d.1991). I'm thinking it's from the late 70's early 80's. It fit perfectly and is back in style. Who knew?
The veteran's group comes tomorrow to pick up what I'm donating.
Just imaging the flurry of activity once he's gone to work and I have an extra box!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 9/16/2014 6:06AM

    Hilarious! So DH is a dragon!
I found myself spontaneously throwing stuff away as I lost weight. Not wildly & irresponsibly, but there is a whole lot less stuff around now. I think maybe by the end of next year I should be stripped down to necessities if I just keep tackling the problem one drawer at a time...


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WATERMELLEN 9/10/2014 9:12PM

    I'm thinking that preying mantis is "praying" for patience!!

Thank goodness SP is here for the much-needed rant and vent!!

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/10/2014 7:18PM

    I'm the "Aunt Grace" of this generation... I will never catch up... some things are always more interesting than cleaning and organizing. But I *do* pitch things when I "get around to it"... better than my ex. You can imagine what it was like trying to overcome my own hoarding and having him keep bringing more and more in... it was a nightmare.

Vent understood, accepted for what it is... had my own mini-vent in a comment... and I, too, shall move on. It is what it is.

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OVERWORKEDJANET 9/10/2014 6:46PM

    Funny how we all know people like this!

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SUSANNAH31 9/10/2014 1:01PM

    I am a little bit like your husband. I tend to hold onto things.
And I am paying the price for that these days as I clean out this cellar and keep finding things I forgot I owned.
OMG! I had no idea!
Most of it is being given away to the church for their flea market at the fair.

Good for your DH that he took off the weight, though.
Getting rid of his too large clothes might be the beginning of a trend for him.

Pouring waste food over the items in the garbage is the only way.
I have been known to go and retrieve items from the trash. Oh dear! LOL



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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/10/2014 12:15PM

    Oh! Oh! Oh!! I'll take the post-it-notes!!!!! I'm a hoarder too and I kind of like those. LOL.

You mean you threw out his cracked dried out stress ball??? LOL. How stressful. What color was it? I might have been able to use that. LOL.

Seriously, I can relate. I have my own hoarding issues but they are nothing compared to my hubby's. He isn't as bad as some people I know though. I had a friend whose husband saves and reuses everything including junk mail, aluminum foil, empty water bottles. They have 5000 empty butter tubs. I'm all for reuse, reduce, recycle but I am not going to go crazy with it. I'm not keeping broken items, trash, stuff I hate.

Maybe your husband is shedding some of his compulsions as he sheds that weight. And all it took was not being able to keep his pants on. Go figure!

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1CRAZYDOG 9/10/2014 11:07AM

    Living w/a pack rat too. **SIGH**

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ROXYZMOM 9/10/2014 7:19AM

    My grandmother is a hoarder. She is in a nursing home now (92 yrs). She tries to take others things back to her room! When she lived on her own there was a path throughout her trailer. Took my parents months to clear it out. My grandfather held her at bay until he died, after that she took it to a whole new level. Exits were blocked with clothes and tubs, we always worried she wouldn't get out if there was a fire.

I can understand your frustration. I don't like things on my kitchen counters and like my car in the garage.

Sounds like you had a mini breakthrough.

Good luck!!

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OPTIMIST1948 9/10/2014 6:43AM

    This is a safe place. Vent away!

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A word on berries

Monday, September 08, 2014

To answer a few Spark friend questions.
Nope, don't like blueberries or raspberries but if I was starving, I'd eat them and I will eat dried blueberries, cherries and cranberries.
As a kid growing up in South Jersey, you knew when it was blueberry season. The air smelled wonderful. The woods contained wild blueberry bushes and if you were as scrappy as me, you spent lots of time "roaming". I know the look of the plants, even the feel of the flowers but I don't think I ate them.
I never saw raspberries until I was older.
There were loads of wild blackberry bushes near my favorite fishing/crabbing spot and I'd load up on them. Yep, right off the wild bushes.
I grew up country-keep that in mind.
Raspberries are too mushy and I don't like their taste; maybe one to many tries of eating the too-sugary things made from them?
I don't know why I don't like the blueberries but can conjecture it has something to do with texture...as I mentioned in the other blog.
I don't like things that "pop" when you bite them such as peas, grapes, blueberries. Even the blackberries fell off my list.
Let's say I've fished a lot, cleaned fish and other things to prepare them for eating. Then there's the whole medical field thing.
I loved cherries with a capital "L" until one day this spring I cut a cherry. It remarkably was a perfect representation, including texture, of a small chicken heart dissection
I stopped cold.
'nuff said.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROXYZMOM 9/9/2014 7:18AM

    emoticon - chicken heart dissection???

Were you a picky eater as a kid??

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1CRAZYDOG 9/8/2014 5:50PM

    I'm not sensitive to texture, but both my kids are. Took me awhile of hair pulling to make the connection! So you're not alone.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/8/2014 2:43PM

    You freakin weirdo. LOL. I love most fruits and berries and cherries top my list. I like most veggies too. I don't like raw onions, tomatoes, parsnips, rhubarb, avocado, horseradish, lima beans, black beans. I don't like too much garlic either.

Comment edited on: 9/9/2014 8:52:28 AM

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/8/2014 6:37AM

    I know how it goes... no matter how "healthy" a food, if you have developed a personal antipathy for it... find a substitute! If you aren't enjoying it, it's not going to "stick" as a habit. Not that I don't believe in re-trying... I have learned to do berries in my steel cut oats, safely stirred in... but not solo. And grapes is another one I have trouble with, but I tried them again this summer. Once in a while, you have to try them again.

So... well done... and Spark on! emoticon

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JERZRN 9/8/2014 6:35AM

    Interesting! I live in south Jersey and love blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, and cherries!

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PICKIE98 9/8/2014 6:24AM

    Texture is a BIG thing, rally. I had a raspberry Margarhita yesterday and no texture problem there AT ALL!!LOL!

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My big boy turned 4

Saturday, September 06, 2014

My first GS turned 4 this week!
Those of you who were "present" for his arrival on my page must be feeling time fleeting by as fast as I do!
No fancy pictures, I used my new phone.
He got what he wanted for his birthday cake...blueberries, raspberries, strawberries and "frosting"-Cool Whip. I should take a clue from these kids!
Get ready

Blow!


He's gone past the baby stage into the wisecrack, questioning, discovery stage; my favorite ages. He asked if I liked raspberries and when I responded I really didn't, he picked one up and told me I should try it.
I did.
As I chewed he got this wonderful look on his face and asked if I liked it. I gave him my honest answer that it was ok and softer than I expected. He contemplated what I meant and then we discussed texture. Then he handed me a blueberry; He knows I don't like them. I told him I'd give it a try and ate it without drama. He was so excited I tried it and asked what I thought about it. I still don't like blueberries, I said. The strawberry was next and we discussed how we both like them AND the Cool Whip... with our fingers in container...
The exchange was priceless as he mulled over my trying things I don't like to make sure I still don't like them.
His brother can't eat dairy but enjoyed the cakes and fruit!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSANNAH31 9/7/2014 3:54PM

    What a good example it was for him to see you eat something that you knew you didn't like. But you ate it anyway! And you did it because he made the request.

PS You don't like blueberries???!!!??!!!

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MORTICIAADDAMS 9/6/2014 12:27PM

    He sounds like my kind of boy. I like all berries. Maybe one of these day he will convert grandma even!!

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WATERMELLEN 9/6/2014 11:40AM

    What a total sweetie!! He may be finding for himself that things he don't enjoy in the past he's liking now as his tastebuds change?

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1CRAZYDOG 9/6/2014 11:21AM

    Happy birthday to your little man! HUGS

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ONEKIDSMOM 9/6/2014 9:06AM

    I LOVE four year olds! They are so logical AND so literal. Among my favorite "my kid" memories comes from when he was about that age, and I was muttering to myself under my breath at the grocery store, picking out a head of lettuce.

What was I muttering? "I know there's lettuce at home, but I'm not sure what kind of shape it's in?"

Son got this really odd look on his face, and confidently chided me: "Mom... it's round!"

Your thing about texture and the conversation brought that right back for me.

Soak it up and enjoy... they don't stay in one place for long, do they?

Happy Birthday to your GS! emoticon

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FIFIFRIZZLE 9/6/2014 9:02AM

    Lovely pix of blowing out the candles!

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OPTIMIST1948 9/6/2014 6:18AM

    I'll say the same thing I do to my son: Its important to try new things. Maybe you'll like it, maybe you wont. But the important thing is to try them. And just because you tried it once (and didnt like it) doesnt mean you wont like it again. Our tastes change as we get older.



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