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Day 7 - 5K Your Way - Walking...And More

Monday, April 18, 2011

Day 7 assignment - 30min

Goal - to get in 1.5 miles in that 30 min

Action - Did Two minutes at 2.7, then increased my incline to 2 and a 3.0 for Two minutes. Left the incline at a 2 for the rest of my workout but upped the speed to 3.3mph. I did that for 28 min, sometimes upping it to 3.5!!! I'm getting STRONGER!

I did a mile in 18:52 YAY, my goal was to do it in 20min.

Total Workout - 32 min (last two were a cool down) Miles - 1.7

Short Term Goal:
My baby brother is graduating from ASU in May with his Law Degree AND Masters in Business. Our Dad died 9 years ago from ALS and my mom is in S. Africa serving a mission for a church. My brother's wife's family is attending the graduation but it's really important to me that my brother has people from his own family there. Also his first baby was born in February and I haven't been able to see him yet.

I REALLY want to go AND I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GO!!!!! Why? Because I'm fat, not just fat...MORBIDLY OBESE!!! My brother and his wife are GORGEOUS, I'm talking model Gorgeous! Then I have another brother who is coming with his wife and once again...they are good looking with VERY fit bodies. I know my brothers and their wives will be thrilled to see me, that they don't love me any less but I love myself less and there lies the problem.

Yes, I have let many aspects of life pass me by because I've been afraid of being judged, of being embarrassed, of not being able to fit and so much more.

The last time I went on an airplane I had to ask for a seatbelt extension. I'm dreading that!!! I set the goal to be 299 before I leave in 24 days but that goal was set before I had this awful eating days (Yes, I didn't openly admit to more than just that one day. Yesterday was NOT on plan).

My goal is a loss of 3lbs a week. I'm going to up that bit before my trip so I can try to make my 299 goal. Weigh-in is tomorrow. I'm a little nervous to see the number. I'm really hoping it will show a number lower than last week! I've decided I need to UP my workouts to get the results I want for my 24-day goal!

P.S. Besides my 32 min workout I also walked my kids to school. That was a 15 min walk walked at a rate of 3.5mph.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/19/2011 1:09AM

    "that they don't love me any less but I love myself less and there lies the problem."

STOP IT!! Okay, I seldom mention my Sunday life on blogs, but Sunday I taught a lesson on Charity. I made a point and I made it BECAUSE I am fully familiar with the feeling you expressed in that sentence. The point I made is that if we are expected to have charity for others how much more important is it that we have charity for ourselves? You DESERVE that love at work in your life!! And you know WHY you deserve that!! You might not look the way you want to now, but you are doing something about it. You are NOT sitting on your rump eating bonbons all day. You get on your treadmill and work out, you walk to the kids' school. You are doing SOMETHING!! There is a street, well a couple streets actually, that I sometimes run down, I hate them because they are busy streets and LOTS of people can witness my behind jiggling up and down as I trot down the street. I used to dread just the idea that someone would say something. Then I realized..."you know what? You think what you want to think about my size and that I am out here in public exercising. I am out here doing SOMETHING about it and that counts for something!!" I say this to myself over and over some times so I can get down those streets. You can get on that plane and KNOW that you are not the person that you were a month ago despite what anybody else thinks. You can go to the graduation and talk to your family about the things you have accomplished and they will be so supportive and happy for you, just as you are supportive and happy for your brother!

You are deserving of everything you so willingly give to others. Hope you have a blast on your trip ;). ( I am reading and re-reading this and hoping that nothing I said offends, I mean it all in a loving way and sometimes that doesn't translate well through computers. You are doing something that not a lot of people attempt after reaching a certain size and that ROCKS and I want you to know how much you ROCK!! )

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LOOZINITNOW 4/18/2011 9:49PM

    Hold your head high and walk in with confidence. You are loved for much more than external appearance. Go be with your family!

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 4/18/2011 3:36PM

    I have had that feeling several times before. But, then I pictured myself with a conversation that said, sorry I cannot come to ??? I am too fat. that would clearly make the person being honored feel worse. Be brave and go forward you are working to improve yourself. You will get there. Keep moving forward and know that your brother loves you and more importantly you have a loving Heavenly Father who will help you, if you ask.

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GRACEISENUF 4/18/2011 3:18PM

    I do understand how you feel, honestly. I had to attend a family party a little over a week ago and I was just about the fatest person there. The majority of my family look like models too. I dreaded going...no doubt about it. That being said...I fixed myself up (got all purty) and held my head up high. We will reach our goals! I also told myself it will be good for them to see me because the next time they will see just how much I have lost!

Don't worry about being judged...God loves you just the way you are and he truly is the only one we have to be concerned about.

Hope you reach your mini goal and have a good time with your family.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Day 6 - 5K Your Way - Walking

Saturday, April 16, 2011

So today is day 6 of my SP program. The assignment? Two miles! I chose to do it on my treadmill.

Goal - 40 min.

The Workout - I did two minutes at 2.7 then after that warm-up I didn't allow myself to go below 3. I realized to reach my goal I had to kick it a bit. So at times I did 3.3 for a minute or 1.5 minutes. Every once in awhile I cranked it to 3.5! Couldn't last there long but I'm improving!

Results - 2 miles in 38.5 minutes...YAY ME!!! I walked for a total of 43 min, 2.2 miles including 4 minutes of warm-up and cool down.

TODAY - My husband and two oldest boys are gone to Seattle for a 3 day basketball tournament. My husband's family lives 1.5 hrs from here and are having an early Easter dinner and birthday celebration today. I'll be heading there with my other five kiddos. The challenge is going to be the food. There will be Ham, a very fattening potatoe casserole, rolls, jello salad loaded with extra sugary stuff. I asked if there was going to be a green salad, Answer, NO. So that's what I'm bringing. I'll have a little bit of ham and then I'll be loading up on salad which I'm going to be loading with ALL sorts of veggies. I'll probably boil some eggs to add to my own serving as well.

I got on the scale this morning. I'm back to the weight I was before I had that little binge. Lesson to be learned? A binge will waste two days and I'll have to play catch up. My official weigh in day isn't until Tuesday that gives me a few more days to take the weight down even further Last Tuesday I was 316 (down 3.2 from the previous week) I REALLY wanted to be down to 313 this Tuesday but that might not be possible now.

Have a GREAT weekend Everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/16/2011 10:47PM

    Looks like the "accidentally hard" workout was a really good thing :). You are pushing harder and getting results!! Love that you are planning ahead. Not sure I would do the same thing :). It'll be a fun time with the family and maybe some of them will start noticing the healthier habits and next time there will be healthier items to choose from :).

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STAABSGIRL00 4/16/2011 3:42PM


Good work planning ahead for your get together and for pushing yourself with your exercise!

We are headed to more baseball today & I'm having dinner out with the girls - I had to hop on the net & plan my meal ahead so I won't gravitate to a giant burger and fries *sigh* haha!

We can do this!!! Have a great Saturday!

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Ugh, I SLIPPED and am Paying for it this Morning!

Friday, April 15, 2011

Okay, I didn't literally slip but I MAJORLY SLIPPED on my weight loss program!!!! I was just going to keep it a secret and not share anything about it here on SP but I have to keep it REAL!

I'm hoping to be one of the many people I admire here who can post that they've lost 100+ lbs. When I find people like that I peruse their blogs to get ideas, inspiration and just a little pick-me-up. I want to keep a blog not for my own personal journey but for a resource, in a year or so, for others who are where I am now. So to do that I have to write everything, the good, the bad and the UGLY!

Last night was UGLY! So my husband is out of town which puts me as a single parent right now. The kids have no school today so yesterday felt like a Friday night. My 12-year-old has been eating healthy and has the goal to lose 1lb a week. I didn't feel like cooking last night so I let her choose where we were going to purchase our dinner. She chose McDonald's. Together we sat down and looked at all the nutritional facts before setting out to get it. I knew what my nutritional facts were here on SP and how much wiggle room I had to stay within the guidelines. Unfortunately I had A LOT of wiggle room. My daughter and I each got a salad and a small fry. (still didn't put me over on any of my numbers). We checked out the nutritional facts for the meal my 16 yo son ordered....1500 calories! Good thing he's an athlete and probably burns that in one workout!

Even though I ordered a salad I'm feeling bloated, the spiciness of it along with the salt on the fries was too much!! I'm learning that about myself. Even before I started eating healthy I rarely added salt to things.

Anyway, after that meal I was going to be done for the night. WRONG! I don't know if it was all the carbs in the fries or just the fact that I went off plan but I wanted MORE!!! And the craving, DESIRE hit me strong! Unfortunately my 12 yo daughter, my healthy eating buddy, left to hang out with a friend or I would NEVER have done what I did. I didn't want to be a bad example to her.

My older kids were taking the car for the night so I told them I had to go get gas in the car. Well the closest gas station is connected to a Safeway. We needed milk and eggs so I used it as an excuse to go in and buy my dear old friend that I haven't seen in two weeks....PEANUT M&M's!!!!!! Unfortunately I also bought their YUMMY cookies and a box of Mike and Ikes. As I climbed into my car I could feel my hands shaking, I couldn't get to the cookies fast enough. I chowed down an oatmeal, raisin, cranberry cookie faster than I could blink. I felt bad, but not bad enough to stop.

When I got home it ended up just being me and the three youngest home. We put in the movie Tangled, I had never seen it. In the process of setting things up I ate ANOTHER cookie, then a THIRD!!!!! Half-way through the movie I opened up the Mike and Ikes and we divided them up four ways. After putting my kids to bed I was going to snuggle in mine with a good book and my M&M's. That was my daily routine just two weeks ago. But after the movie I was feeling SOOO bad both physically and emotionally. I knew I couldn't take back what I had already eatten but I wasn't going to make it worse.

Here I am, the morning after, feeling AWFUL! My stomach hurts and the scale was scary (thank goodness it isn't my day to log in my weight).

That wonderful yellow bag of delicious goodness (or fatness) is or was sitting in my pantry this morning. Today is garbage day and in front of my kids I took out the bag and put it into the black can that is waiting at the curb. A few of my kids were freaking out because it was a waste of money to throw it away. A few of them wanted them if I didn't but I told them we already enjoyed cookies last night and a little bit of movie treats and NONE of us needed anymore of that junk in our body.

So, there it is, the ugly, the bad and the GOOD!

And a HUGE yell out to TUBLADY! I read a comment she wrote on yesterday's blog post. I hadn't "met" her yet so I traveled to her Spark Page. I'm so glad I did! Her amazing story and results were one of the things that helped me walk away from doing further damage! THANK YOU!

Update***********I wasn't planning on working out today but DID!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOOZINITNOW 4/15/2011 10:27PM

    It was a slip and you nipped it quick. Yeah for throwing out the M&M's!!! Move on forward!

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GRACEISENUF 4/15/2011 9:07PM

    YOU did the right thing by throwing them out...kuddos to you!!!
McDonalds adds sugar to almost all their food including their larger salads. Their food is made to be addictive (most fast food is). If you EVER get the chance watch the movie "Super Size Me".

I am proud of you for fessing up AND doing the right thing. (Not that you need my approval, lol) :)

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STAABSGIRL00 4/15/2011 2:17PM

    Don't beat your self up...progress not perfection is the key to a forever change. Way to keep it real :) I can definitely relate. Sometimes I am embarrassed by how excited I get about food - then I eat so quickly I'm not even sure if I taste it. McD's is so addictive - I swear they put something extra in it!

Way to get back on track! You can do it!!!

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SLIGHTLYBRAINY 4/15/2011 12:48PM

    Good for you and your honesty. It takes alot for us to be able to say it out loud what we did or didn't do and to own up to the choices that we made.

Today is a new day and it will be a good day for you, I just know it!!!

Terri =)

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KWHITEHEAD9 4/15/2011 12:15PM

    Thanks for your honesty. Great job throwing the leftovers out.

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HEYPINK 4/15/2011 12:08PM

    Yeah, we all have these days. I think the challenge is how you respond to such a day - do you just feel horrible and keep binging or do you shrug it off, admit your mistakes and get back to the healthy life. Sounds like you're doing the latter, which makes you a success in my opinion. We keep on keeping on and eventually we will be those people who lose 100+ lbs.

And bonus points for coming onto SP to admit the mistake. That takes courage :-)
Yay you!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/15/2011 12:08PM

    It's those McD's fries. I'm convinced of it. Anytime I eat even one I am ready to eat everything in sight. A slip is a slip and today is a new day. Your honesty says a lot about what you are trying to accomplish. Today is going to be a good day :).

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SUSANMOMOF6 4/15/2011 12:07PM

    You Will have these days, friend. I have. Learn why they happened, but also remember what they DON'T mean. It doesn't mean you don't want this. It doesn't mean the next day has to be a repeat. It doesn't mean you are a failure-it means you are a human being trying to change deeply rooted habits. It doesn't mean you will not lose weight this week. You know what you need to do and you are doing it. You've pushed your restart button. Please remember that you must NOT beat yourself up. You will speak words of grace and forgiveness to yourself the same way you would to me if it was me that overindulged. You will see yourself at your goal weight, smiling and laughing. You came clean-I'm so proud of you. This is going to be a great day! I believe in you, my friend! emoticon emoticon

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WDWGIRLS 4/15/2011 12:04PM

    Everyone has a day like this - just learn from it and go on! No beating yourself up, just get yourself back up. The difference between failure and falling is that if you fall, you pick yourself up - if you fail, you quit. So my motto is NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

Did Tublady tell you about Fatlosers.com? It is a free program on getting mentally tough to succeed at weightloss - I love it! He is very blunt, but gives you a kick in the butt if you need one. Keep on sparking! emoticon emoticon

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Exercised at an Incline of 5.5!!!!!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

So since I'm just starting on my weight loss I know the weight will come off at first without killing myself. I decided 3lbs a week is a good reasonable healthy amount to lose. As long as I was eating healthy, following my 3days a week workout and losing the 3lbs I was fine.

Well, today I decided to add a fourth day of workouts in, just a 20min mile. My DD did a workout on the treadmill and then graciously took over again (what am I going to do when she gets a full-time job?) and I went out to the treadmill.

I watched part of another episode of "I used to be Fat". I knew I could do a 3mph workout because that's what I have been doing. Today, for some reason, it was really hard!!! But I worked through it, lowering it to 2.7 at times to get a bit of a breather and then upping it to 3.3 to make up the difference.

As I stopped my workout I selected the display option that shows ALL of the stats so I could chart down my calories burned, distance, time etc.... As I was looking over the numbers I saw that incline was set at a 5.5 WHAT?!?!!!! Since I'm just starting out I always do my incline at a 0. Did I really just exercise for 20 minutes at that incline? I went back inside the house and asked my daughter, "when you worked out did you set the incline to 5.5?" She had!

Wow, that was a realization to me. My body can do more than I'm asking it to do. I know the real changes and results will happen only when I push out of my comfort zone and really challenge myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOOZINITNOW 4/14/2011 10:20PM

    Awesomeness!!!!! emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 4/14/2011 10:14PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

You have the POWER to RAWK that treadmill!

Proud of you spark buddy!

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TUBLADY 4/14/2011 6:07PM

    I think that's great. I am always pushing the enevolpe . I want to challenge myself . Sometimes you suprise yourself like you just did. Way to go.
Take care. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KWHITEHEAD9 4/14/2011 3:28PM

    Great job for getting thru that! emoticon

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/14/2011 3:22PM

    No wonder it was harder than it should have been!! AND, you still rocked it out!! Awesome :)!

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SUSANMOMOF6 4/14/2011 3:08PM

    You rock! Way to push yourself! I totally agree; we can do so much more than we think we can sometimes. Lets keep pushing the envelope so we can be the best we can be. By the way,I've been meaning to ask you what the age range of your darling children is. I'm so proud of you and I'll amp my next workout up in your honor! emoticon

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Day 5 - 5K Your Way - Walking...DONE!!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I did it! I put my brain to work and figured out a way to get the assigned 1.75 miles in today!

My oldest daughter came home Friday from finishing her first year of college (I know, EARLY! Love it!) It's been an adjustment for her. She's gone from being independent with lots of other young adults to being home with her 6 younger siblings plus 2 daycare kids. There's lots of screaming, crying, running around, cheerful yells and MESSES. I'm trying real hard to let her live her own life and set up her own schedule.

The only way I could see I would be able to fit my walk in today was to ask her to watch the three little ones (mine age 3 and the daycare, ages 2 and 10 months). I hesitated a bit because it's my obligation not her's and the little one has been quite fussy today. Well, like I always tell my kids, "What's the worse that can happen by asking?" So I did it and she said YES, she was glad to help me stay on top of my goals.

Once again, 1.75 miles might not seem like it should take a long time. It might take someone else 15 minutes to do but I knew it would probably take me around 40 (that's a good chunk of time in my reality but I'm going to have to CHANGE my reality if I want to stay focused on a healthier ME!)

I grabbed my laptop, found a show my sister told me about called, "I Used To Be Fat" on MTV and headed out to my treadmill in the garage. I set the goal to walk the 1.75 miles in 35 minutes, that would make it at the rate of 3mph. I did a warm-up of 2.5, then switched to 3 after two minutes.

Oh My STARS....My body did NOT want to do this today. The 3 was killing me so I turned it down to 2.7. I then compromised and would do a minute at 2.7 then 1.5 minutes at 3. As I was approaching the 20 min mark and I wasn't close enough to one mile yet I decided to up it. So I went to 3.5...UGH! Okay, back down to 3. I gradually upped my levels and eliminated anything in the 2 range. 3, then 3.5, then 3.2, then up to 3.8!!!!! As I was working harder at the 3+ range I admit I was hanging onto the handrails. I kept hearing Jillian yelling at me, "LET GO!" I would and even tried a brief few seconds at 3.8 without holding on.

I didn't reach my original goal of 1.75 miles in 35 minutes but I DID get it done in 35:14. YAY ME!!! Wow, it was a push and it felt good to do so, I could feel myself shrinking by the minute. Oh, wait a minute, that was the girl on the show I watched. Amazingly she lost 90lbs during my 35 minute workout (in reality it took 111 days).

Thanks for the encouragement from fellow sparkers. And a HUGE THANKS to my wonderful daughter who graciously took over my obligations so I could cross off this TO DO from my list.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARIFUNK 4/14/2011 11:22PM

    Good for you! I've been doing a 5k training as well, and although it is slow going, it's an amazing feeling of accomplishment when you feel yourself getting stronger! Keep up the good work!

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FITMARY 4/14/2011 5:39AM

    Wow! What a great story. Go for you!!!

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DARKTHOR 4/13/2011 8:39PM

    Give your daughter a big hug! You did awesome and it will get easier as your body gets used to the exercise. Keep pushing!

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LOOZINITNOW 4/13/2011 8:34PM

    So proud of you! emoticon

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    Good for you for doing what it took to get that walk done. I love the "shrinking" comment. We want it to happen that fast, don't we!!

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GRACEISENUF 4/13/2011 4:48PM

    YOU DID IT! Your DD was very sweet to help you with the kids.

I plan to get my cardio in tonight with my son. He is such an encourager to me..I love it.


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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/13/2011 4:46PM

    Woot!! Awesome!! Way to not back down!! You killed that goal!! So happy your daughter was there for you and took on that responsibility. You raised a great girl :). Congrats !!

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