Tuesday, March 29, 2011
I began my Spark journey in November of '09. Not to be modest but...I was on FIRE! I sat down and set my goals, decided how I was going to achieve them and TOOK OFF!
Well, life happened and I fell off track, headed down the wrong road and took TOO MANY wrong turns along the way. I knew I was on the wrong road, thought about the right path, but decided it was too much work to get back there. In the past 13 months of traveling in the wrong direction I have had glimpses of the right path. The mental desire was there to make the journey back, ( actually I was FORCED to think about it out of fright! There are too many death traps on the path I've been traveling on) But my willpower, strength and feelings of unworthiness kept me on the harder, darker path...ALONE!
With feeling that death was right around the next corner I sat down and pulled out my maps and tools that I began this journey with. They are still the same truths but since I got SOOO far off track it will take me awhile to find my way back to the right road. I am heading in the right direction and could REALLY use some fellow travelers on this journey.
Afte re-grouping and reading my original travel guide I saw that as of last week I would have met my ultimate destination...IF I had stayed on track. But instead I've added on 5 more lbs to my original travel gear.
I'm hoping to find the same enthusiasm I started with that will allow me to speed up my journey but the most important thing is the completion! A year will pass, even five or ten, there's nothing I can do about it. But one thing is certain I do NOT want to be traveling the same road of misery and life threatening situations longer than I need to. How soon I reach my destination or if I EVER get there will be up to ME!
Do I want to LIVE LIFE or let it pass me by? I hope I can find the strength and will power to answer that correctly!
Monday, December 13, 2010
It's been almost a year since my last blog. Wow, I've sat here and read through a few of my last posts. Who was that person? Someone I wish did not go away, someone I wish had stuck it out and gotten stronger. Instead she disappeared, allowed A LOT of serious life issues to throw her off track and prove that she wasn't really as strong as she thought she was.
Even if she wasn't strong enough to keep her head up when life hit her she was stronger than I am now and I need her!!!! I know she's there somewhere and I've been trying for months to be able to reach down far enough to grab a hold of her, with no success.
Early Friday morning I was struck hard with the stomach flu. My husband was out of town, my kiddos were all asleep and I found myself for hours in my bathroom vomiting, shaking and crying (I never throw up only when I delivered my first baby and had my appendix taken out).
Believe it or not being weakened by the stomach flu is helping me find that old stronger me. Of course losing 11lbs in two days helps but being in such a weakened state gave me a lot of time for internal inspection and I didn't like what I found and where I'm heading...again. I tossed out my reading stash of peanut M&Ms (a very bad, old habit!) And now that I'm able to keep food down I'm counting calories, making right food choices to regain my energy and of course...Coming back to Spark People to put all aspects of my health back in place, reconnect with my SP friends and support group, AND reconnect with that stronger me and work on making her even stronger so that the next time life knocks me down I'll get RIGHT BACK UP!
Friday, January 01, 2010
I've been MIA for over a week. I have not been logging. I have not been checking in with my spark friends. I have not been eating right on. BUT I have been doing my regular workouts. I have to admit I struggled.
With Christmas break and all my kids home it threw me off schedule which threw me off track. That let's me know I have areas to work on. I CAN'T let a change in life to throw me so off track.
TOM is here plus holiday eating so I haven't been wanting to see the numbers on the scale. I did get on today. 298.2 with menstrual bloating and extra sugar in my system it was not too bad (3.6 gain, I think). I'm hoping my weekly weigh-in on Tuesday will show more gone.
Exercising has been good. I've been heading to Curves and twice this week did it longer than normal. Today it was closed but that was okay because I already had a game plan.
Last year right at the end of '08 I was thinking about getting healthy. I decided to walk a 5k on NewYear's Day, log my time, and do that every January 1st and compare times. I did do it 1/1/09 with a time of 1:04. I was able to get my two sisters, one of my daughters and mom to join in. It was tough, hard but I did it!
January 1st is once again upon us and once again we set the goal to do our 5k. This year one of my sister's has moved to Iowa and my mom lives two hours away but the three others still went to the high school track to better our times from last year.
We chose to do our 5k at the High School track so we can each go our own pace but still be in visual contact to support each other. Today, like last year, was cold and rainy but the wind this year was a force to fight against when heading west. My first 6 laps I was able to jog about a third each time around. Then my legs began to feel like noodles and I gave up on the jogging and just stuck to walking as fast as I could. I was very excited to see that my ending time was 52.19. I cut down my time by 12minutes. I feel that is a HUGE accomplishment considering the only exercising I've done this year has all been done in the past 2 months.
Our 3rd annual New Year's Day 5k will be on 1/1/11. I think I'm going to advertise within my church, friends, etc... and make this a New Year tradition for others. Our goal for next year...Jog/run the whole thing. Should be NO problem after working out for 12 months and losing 1oo+ lbs.
Picture to follow.
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