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Need Constant Reminders of What I'm Thankful For!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

So the run of unfortunate hard things hasn't ended in my life. From several of my last posts show things have been VERY tough! Well, I've added another thing...a broken down Suburban! Wednesday night I was in a town 35 minutes away with one of my kids for an eye therapy appointment. We'd finished up and two blocks from the office my steering went out in my car. I was very lucky to be able to crank the wheel, with my new found muscles, and get off the street into the parking lot.

I called my husband in tears. We weren't able to get it figured out, still broken, but it's being worked on as I speak.

Things are overwhelming, I layed on my bed SOBBING after finally getting home Wednesday night. I've had a huge pity party (still do but they're getting smaller) but I know that just dwelling on it is going to bring my spirit down and not help anything.

I've been mentally fighting with myself. One side keeps saying to focus on the positive and what you're thankful for, especially this time of year. The other side gets stubborn and says WHAT things, there's nothing?!?!?! I've decided to have the positive side win I need to actually get the things I'm thankful for down on paper.

1. I'm thankful that my daughter only lost part of one finger and not more or more fingers.
2. I'm thankful that my husband still has a job
3. I'm thankful that if my car was going to die it happened in town and not on the deserted country road.
4. I'm thankful that we have friends that moved out to the town where my car broke down and they came and picked up my daughter and me until my husband could come and fed us dinner.
5. I'm thankful that my father-in-law is on his way right now to help us get the car fixed (hopefully).
6. I'm thankful that my 17-year-old daughter just bought a $400 car (although it's a stick, UGH!!!). So with hers and my husband's we could fit the whole family to make the drive 1.5 hours away for Thanksgiving dinner with the in-laws.
7. I'm thankful for an amazing husband
8. I'm thankful for 7 wonderful kids
9. I'm thankful that we are all alive, healthy and together
10. I'm thankful I'm making a healthy lifestyle change and that I've seen success already.
11. I'm thankful for a terrific sister who is doing this with me and together we can get healthy and motivate each other.
12. I'm thankful for my Faith, for my testimony of a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior that lives.
13. I'm thankful for the wonderful husband my mom has who loves her dearly and feels it a duty and honor to treat her the way my dad did before he died.
14. I'm thankful for my 7 brothers and sisters who are always there for each other.
15. I'm thankful for a close-knit neighborhood who are always looking out for each other and would do anything to help!
16. I'm thankful for technology that allows me to have access to SP and other wonderful helpful sites.

Okay, that was more helpful then I thought it was going to be! In reality I could have listed much more, there truly is a lot of things to be thankful for!
I'll have to post this list to see it daily as I deal with life's hardships.

AND...I'm thankful for great new friends I'm meeting here at Spark People. Thanks for the support!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRICIALICI 11/30/2009 1:32AM

    You are so wise to count your blessings when things are seeming bleak! It always gives you a needed boost! Hopefully, things will get better this week!

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KELLI9001 11/29/2009 7:45PM

    That's quite a list you came up with. And to think God only gives us as much as we can handle! Print that list out and post it everywhere, so the next time you start to have a pity party, you will be reminded of all the things you do have and not think about those that you don't. There's a reason that you don't have them! God knows why!

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PATTYS74 11/29/2009 1:11AM

That was a wonderful blog to read. That can help all who read it to remember the things we need to be thankful for. emoticon

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SPUNKYDUCKY 11/29/2009 12:50AM

    I try to journal things that I am thankful for or things that make me happy on a regular difference and it has huge effects on my mood!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 11/28/2009 4:45PM

    That is a great list of things to be thankful for. We are trying to teach our children this idea of thankfulness. This is what I am doing...I am drawing a big Christmas tree on a sheet of poster board and then cutting out a bunch of "ornaments"-circles of construction paper. Each day we are listing something we are thankful for and putting our ornament on the tree. This way we have a visual reminder of the things we are thankful for and maybe we can spend a little more time on thankfullness this season than wantfulness.

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 11/28/2009 4:24PM

    I am sure that you will get though this and be stronger for it. I know it is frustrating in the middle.

It is great that you can still count your blessings. Your life is good and you, like me, can get strength from realizing that.

Thanks for sharing.

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SHIRLEYDILLARD 11/28/2009 4:11PM

    I'm guessing you feel better than before. Sorry about your tough times - but keep being thankful and you will get through it.

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LOOZINITNOW 11/28/2009 4:06PM

    What a great way to analyze what blessings you really do have. This is just another passing storm in your life, it will blow on by and everything will seem better again. Hang on...the ride will be over soon. This is one of my favorite songs about life's hard times. Take a listen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdc
It should be Casting Crowns "Praise you in this storm"

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GRACEISENUF 11/28/2009 4:01PM

    Sister you got it....praise turns EVERYTHING around! I had many "poor me parties" and they are the loneliest most miserable parties to be the guest of honor at.

Your blog IS encouraging you by writing it and I'm sure others will be blessed as they read it, I know I am. WE ARE TRULY blessed in this country. We have SO much to be thankful for.

I hope your car is up and running very soon.

Love and hugs emoticon

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Saturday, November 21, 2009

The straw that broke the camel's back.

We just got back from the ER with our youngest who is 23 months old. I was working downstairs while my little one was playing upstairs with her 11-year-old sister and her friend. All of a sudden I heard my daughter screaming that they needed me. I started towards the sounds of cries and screams and saw my older daughter carrying her little sister in her arms saying that her finger got CUT OFF in the door!

I grabbed my youngest and saw blood dripping out of the raw end of where her finernail used to be on her pinky finger. My 11-year-old grabbed the piece that had gotten ripped off and I ran to my husband and we rushed to the hospital.

They got us in QUICK! After the ER doctor looked at the piece and the finger he said it could not be sewn back on because the tissue had been damaged. He reassured us that once it healed she'd still have 10 working fingers, one a little shorter, but only 9 fingernails.

What happened was my little one had gotten her finger shut in her bedroom door and yanked it out. In doing so it cut off her finger right below the fingernail.

After cleaning the wound, taking X-rays and getting it bandaged the doctor let us know that the bone is still intact. We have to go to a hand surgeon on Monday. There he'll determine if we have to cut the bone down to the level of where her skin ends now or if they'll have to do surgery to help pull skin up over the wound.

As this was all going on I broke down and cried. I felt stupid!!! My sister met us at the ER and I told her I was embarrassed for reacting so bad. I knew she was fine. Finger reattached or not she is still Hannah. I even explained to my kids before we left for the ER that she'll just have one finger shorter than the others. I understand all that but emotionally it feels like the last straw.

For months I've been trying to keep myself together. My husbands job has been HUGELY impacted by the economy so there are financial difficulties. I've had to take on daycare and transcription work, while raising 7 kids, to help make ends meet. I have a son with extreme ADHD which is leading to learning difficulties and school issues. I have another child who has eye tracking problems and is 2 years behind in school. DAILY all of these things impact my life, it is very stressful!!!

I do have to say that signing up with Curves has been a lifesaver!!! Getting OUT OF THE HOUSE and pushing my body has helped me relieve some of the stress. But the tears keep flowing and the desire to eat everything in the house is strong!!!! I feel that if I cave into this temptation I'll allow it to take over and I'll return to my past of being a binge eater.

My mind is kind of running in circles. Sorry. I just needed to come here, post a blog to get my feelings and desire for food out in the open to help process things.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ITSHOWYOULIVE 11/28/2009 4:40PM

    What an aweful thing to have to go through during the "happiest" time of the year!! So glad Hannah is going to come out of it just fine in the end. You are definately allowed to lose it anytime you have to take a child to the ER!! You are going through a lot right now and we are all here for you to vent to when that last straw finally gets to you. Our family has been looking strongly at the fiancial aspect of Christmas too. Our children will not be reporting the same types of Christmas loot as many of their friends so we are looking at ways to focus on the "deeper" meaning of Christmas. Mostly ways to deepen our family connection through new "traditions" like nightly story time with Christmas related stories (gift of the Magi, Night Before Christmas, and every Christmas themed book from the library we can get our hands on!), making packages with toys and books that are still in good shape but we have grown out of for those even more in need than us, driving around looking at decorated homes, etc.-basically everything we can think of that costs nothing or VERY little. It sounds like you have a very caring and tight knit family-everything will work out.

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 11/28/2009 4:21PM

    That sounds very stressful to have your daughter lose the end of the finger. When my father was a baby my grandmother went to chop wood for the fire and cut off the end of her finger. It was not completely detached but the doctor in the little town that they lived in said it could not be sewn back on. He cut it off down to the first joint.

She had a good sense of humor about it. She sang the song: "this little light of mine." then she would say:"My light is burning out." and laugh in a way that makes me miss her now that I think about it.

My aunt hated it if she said that something was a mile and a half down the road. I did not like it much either but, now it is just kind of funny.

It will be OK. I am sure later it will not seem like something so big. Keep on Keepin' on and all will be well.

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GRACEISENUF 11/28/2009 4:04PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon So sorry to hear about the accident Hannah had. I will be praying for you and your family.

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SPUNKYDUCKY 11/24/2009 11:01PM

    I think that when something like that happens you are allowed to "lose it" a little bit. It is an upsetting situation. Trust me, the only people who want to be in the emergency department are the people who work there!
Hope you and your family have a happy Thanksgiving!

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USARUNNERGIRL 11/24/2009 7:11AM

    So sorry about your daughters finger, my nephew had the tip of his finger amputated about 8 months ago. I am not sure that this will make you feel better, but he doesn't even really care about his finger being a little shorter. We tell him that it makes him special and he is ok with that. Take care and I am sorry about the daily struggles that you most certainly have. I will pray for you. emoticon emoticon

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MUSIC66 11/24/2009 7:05AM

    sorry about your daughter finger . hope things go well for her.

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KELLI9001 11/24/2009 6:58AM

    Just wondering how your daughter is since the ER visit? You have no reason to feel embarrassed at the hospital. it's every parent's nightmare to have a child injured in any way shape or form. Mom's are suppose to be the strong ones but we also have our own way of dealing with situations like this.

Hoping you daughter is doing better. Keep us updated and keep going to Curves. You need that time alone and for yourself with everything you have going on.

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TRICIALICI 11/23/2009 12:38PM

    I'm so sorry about your daughter's finger! I certainly think that shedding a few tears is an appropriate reaction to the stress you were going through! My dad had an accident loading a horse into a trailer a couple of years ago, and lost the tip of his fourth finger. He had a skin graft to cover the wound, and it wasn't long before it was completely healed. It might comfort you to know that it hasn't impacted his function at all. Unless he points it out, I'm sure no one notices that it is shorter. I'm glad that you feel sparkpeople is a safe place to vent your feelings. You are showing strength and courage by taking charge of one facet of your life by choosing to adopt a healthy lifestyle! Good for you! I'll say a prayer for you and your family. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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KELSWORLD 11/23/2009 8:07AM

    Oh I am so sorry. I hope you can find the inner strength you need to get through these trials. It is a good thing you have a few outlets between SP and your workouts. We are all here for you if you need us! I hope all of your children are doing alright. That must have really scared them. Good luck and you & your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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DIVASPARKLADY 11/22/2009 6:27PM

    So sorry tohear about your precious little one. Praying for you and your family. emoticon

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BABYRN73 11/22/2009 9:48AM

    So sorry you had to go through that! I have a 25 mo old and would have surely reacted the same way you did - it's very hard when it's your own child that is hurt...we try to do everything we can to protect them yet we can't be in all places at all times. Hang in there, and if the stress is getting to you, go for a short walk so you don't end up in the kitchen regretting it later.

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MINNER77 11/22/2009 7:17AM

    Praying for you and your family, that you will have continued strength through all these challenges. You've shown amazing strength and courage, and in taking care of everyone and everything I am SO glad you carved a few moments to care for YOU. Remember that old saying: Ain't Mama happy, ain't nobody happy.

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DELWYNH 11/22/2009 1:01AM

  I'm really sorry to hear about Hannah's accident. Unfortunately accidents happen and you can't actually protect your children from everything. Remember though that the most important thing is for you to stay on track, keep exercising and be the best condition and health so you can be the best mother to her now and later. And believe me you would have been the odd mother out if you hadn't shed a tear. If you can't cry when your little one is hurt - when can you? Delwyn

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GYPSYLEE44 11/21/2009 10:43PM

    Oh the poor dear. She'll probably pass out from the exhaustion of it all and sleep while your a wreck thinking of all the stress swarming around you. I'll say a prayer for you. Remember people are here for you and don't allow yourself to slip into bad habits.
Hope Hannah's better soon and him mommy stays sane enough to appreciate it. :)
Be strong emoticon

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OVERHAULING-ME 11/21/2009 10:02PM

    Oh, my goodness...I LOVE Spark People!!! I barely posted and immediately the four of you responded. After reading I started crying. My family panicked and wanted to know what was wrong. I told them it was happy tears, that I'm so thankful to have support for the amazing people here. THANK YOU!!!

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    I am so sorry about your daughter's finger.
Keep your chin up you are doing better than many others would be in your same situation. These troubling times you are having will not be forever so keep your chin up and keep pressing on.
If you need someone to talk to I am here to listen and help in any way I can. I will be praying for you and your family.

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FLAWLESSCUBE 11/21/2009 9:54PM

    Sounds like your doing more figure eights than circles. I am sorry this has happened to your little one. and hope she has a good nights sleep. You have had many road blocks lately. Maybe that cry was a good thing and you let out some of the frustrations that have been building up? Get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day. YOU CAN DO THIS!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JOHJEN 11/21/2009 9:53PM

    I am sorry to hear about your daughters finger! In a little while she will forget all about it and it will just be her normal to have a slightly smaller finger! A new unique feature of her! Excercise is a good stress relief and always make some time for you in a day. When you get overwhelmed hit the gym... work it out in sweat! Everything will work out as it should.

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MERRYMARY42 11/21/2009 9:50PM

    oh my goodness, I can understand your need to cry, whenHannah gets to be a little older her finger will be a novelty, but I know now that it is a catastrophe, but we are not given more than we can handle, and you will also cope with this, I am glad you have curves to use some of that energy, and remember it will get better

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The Calm After the Storm

Friday, November 20, 2009

YAY, my husband is home!!! After a very chaotic three days of being a single mom I now can relinquish some of my single parent duties over to my husband.

This morning when I woke up to head out to the gym I decided to get on the scale (a few days early). I was feeling bloated yesterday but I was jut curious what was going on. I'm pleased to announce that I am down one pound since Tuesday! Right on target with my 2 lbs a week goal!

I'm especially pleased with that loss after the hard week I've had and the many times I've been tempted to cave into old habit of stress eating.

A public thank you to all who came running to my rescue when I sent out my S.O.S. It was really needed and truly appreciated!!!

I'm looking forward to a great weekend! I can't wait to see what I can accomplish in the next four days (in more ways than one).

Here's to a successful weekend for everyone!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LAURAJAH 11/21/2009 10:36AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FLUENTFROG 11/20/2009 10:06PM

    emoticon keep it up, you're doing great!

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LOOZINITNOW 11/20/2009 4:54PM

    I'm so happy for you after the tough week! A pound already is great:) Keep up the good work! emoticon

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PLEASE Talk Me Away From The FOOD!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

So my husband is out of town and I knew it would mean a crazier life for me since we have 7 kids. Not only am I trying to do normal mom stuff I also do daycare and transcribe insurance files. I've been taking it one minute at a time (which is a LONG time since I'm up from 5a.m. to 11 p.m.) I made it through day 1 but oh, today, day 2, is so hard!!!

At 10:30 I got a phone call from my son's middle school informing me that he was being suspended from school for 3 days. I HATE hearing the phone ring and seeing on the caller ID that it's the school. My son has ADHD and although we've done medication and still working with a counselor we haven't found the magic fix! School is hard for him, not the work but the rules, the sitting, the non-hands-on learning. If a day goes by that I get NO phone call I'm ecstatic!

My son is a wonderful kid! Loves to do anything with his hands (bake, yardwork, cars, hunting, fishing, building, crochet, etc...) but DON"T ask him to sit still (not even through a movie).

I've already been on the phone with the Vice principal twice, two teachers and e-mailing with another. I can feel my stress level rising. Go take a walk or workout you say...CAN"T every minute is budgeted. I'm taking a withdrawal from my transcribing minutes to send out this PLEA for someone...ANYBODY to talk me AWAY FROM THE FOOD!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KESTRIE 11/21/2009 1:20PM

    As a teacher, I'm very sorry for what you and your son are going through. He should not be forced to sit still all day!

I actually just blogged about how I quit a teaching job because they forced me to treat kids the way your son's school treats him. (Plus there were other problems -- I worked with CRAZY people...)

I don't know why teachers and principals don't understand more about ADHD. Or even about kids in general. ALL learning should be Hands-On! Sitting isn't productive for anyone. Maybe kids without ADHD do a little better when they're forced to sit, but trust me, they'd learn A LOT more if they could really EXPERIENCE their education.

Sorry, this is a touchy spot for me, too.

I want to work at a school that allows me to teach a developmentally appropriate curriculum. And I'm sure you want your son to attend a school that is supportive of him and allows him to learn, grow, and succeed.

I wish you and your son the very best!!

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SMILESWITH7KIDS 11/19/2009 9:22AM

    How long will he be gone? Just a few days at the most I hope. My husband was out of town for two weeks last month and it was rough, especially the not eating constantly part. How did you do last night? Blog about it. Even when I overeat now I now I need to stay honest with my friends here and it helps so much. Instead of eating an entire bag of chips, I just eat a bowl. When my husband was gone, I bought some davinci sugar free chocolate syrup and at night I would make a cup of decaf, add the syrup and some cream (I was doing lo carb at the time, so it worked). I looked forward to that cup all day and it kept me from eating in the evening. That type of thing is nothing to everyone else, but it's huge when you have a lot of children and don't usually indulge in treats like davinci. I hope you can figure out a treat that works for you and is motivating.

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SPUNKYDUCKY 11/18/2009 9:19PM

    Hopefully blogging your feelings helped give you a sense of calm. Remember eating will not help. It is just a temporary coping device that actually makes things worse in the long run. You obviously want to and ARE making positive changes in your life...keep it up!

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GRACEISENUF 11/18/2009 9:05PM

    Oh my gosh...sorry I'm here AFTER the fact! Sounds like you had one trying day today. I had a pretty tough one myself but not nearly as stressful as your situation.

Hope the rest of your day went better...please stop by anytime if ya need some encouragement. Glad we are friends! I'll be praying for you. XXX

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KARVY09 11/18/2009 9:04PM

    Grab some gum or mints instead to keep your mouth busy. Sorry about the craziness. I can't even imagine life with 7 kids, so I feel bad about giving advice!

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OVERHAULING-ME 11/18/2009 6:23PM

    Thank you ladies!!! So far so good. My kids are starting to come home so the busy after school schedule has begun. Hopefully that will distract me from eating! I've always been the type of person who turns to food instead of exercising when things get tough. I DO need to change that. It's what you chose when life is tough that determines your character, not when things are easy..Right?

I really need all this advice!!! Thanks for the caring reaching out!!!

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FLAWLESSCUBE 11/18/2009 5:31PM

    OKay out of the kitchen and grab your glass of water. Take ten deep breaths and thank god that your son is alright. My parents would dread phone calls from school when he was younger as he tended to have soft bones and break them often one year. Those trips to ER got a little old for both of them I know . Probably not the best motivational speech but get your water and turn on some great music or something. LIfe keep scoming at you, But YOU are incontrol of how your deal with it and what you do with your time. HOpe your DH comes home soon. I can't imagine 7 kids all at once, So can I just call you Superwoman for now? emoticon

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LOOZINITNOW 11/18/2009 5:12PM

    BACK AWAY FROM THE REFRIGERATOR!!!! It is not worth it:( You have worked so hard! Take a good look again at that 10lbs you have lost in such a short time. Food is not the answer! Take deep breaths(in and out) or pray. God does care what you are going through. Just don't turn to food. It is NOT the answer! I've been there too many times. I will not do it again and you my friend will not either! emoticon

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 11/18/2009 4:57PM

    Good luck. I wish I had some good advice. I hope that you can find a way to get teachers to help your sun instead of just kicking him out for awhile. I know it is hard for them. I have 5 sons. Only one daughter. When I lead scouts I try to teach them things while they are active. Sometimes I wish teachers could do more of that.

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One At A Time = 1000

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

I read an amazing idea today on a blog by FLUTTER-BY)L(, who got this idea from someone else. The idea is a hands-on visual of seeing what we're accomplishing by following through with our goals. After setting specific goals she then is putting a penny in a jar until she reaches 1000. I love the idea but I think I'll do a dime. After 1000 dimes I'll have $100 to treat myself!

As I sat to contemplate what goals I would use I realized that as my Spark name says...I'm in this for a major OVERHAUL! I have a lot of weight to lose, need to get healthy BUT so much more! I want a stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father, a cleaner home, take control of my finances and paper messes and more quality time with my kids. So after evaluating the areas I need to improve in here are my goals. After I do one of them I get to put my dime in my Overhaul Journey Jar!

GOALS that will earn me a dime:
1. Workout
2. Drink 8 glasses of water
3. Log my food
4. Checking in with my Spark Friends
5. Prayers
6. Reading my Scriptures
7. Reading a book with my kids
8. Playing a game with my kids
9. 15 minutes of cleaning (above and beyond what I normally clean each day)
10. Taking care of the mail each day.

By working on these daily (and having a visual reminder) I'm hoping that when the 1000 dimes are reached all these 10 goals will become habit and instead of weaknesses...STRENGTHS!!!
Feel Free to copy as I did if you like this idea and have goals you're trying to achieve. I'm looking forward to the reward at the end...The Money AND being closer to the amazing woman hidden inside of me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPUNKYDUCKY 11/18/2009 9:20PM

    Great idea! Take a pic when you are complete and post it to influence others!

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LOOZINITNOW 11/18/2009 2:56PM

    This is a great idea and I bet you have that $100 in no time flat! emoticon

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TRICIALICI 11/18/2009 1:56PM

    Great idea, and your goals are impressive! Improvement in one area of life tends to spill over into other areas. I think you'll be happily surprised at the progress you make! Best of luck! I'm going to consider using the idea with one of my kids who needs a little extra motivation right now.

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SMILESWITH7KIDS 11/18/2009 1:19PM

    Yes, this is a great idea. I was going to by myself a rebounder when I got below 250, but I like this approach better. Thanks for sharing it and I think I'll do a dime too.

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