Thursday, January 19, 2012
Last night was the first basketball game my Junior son had to sit out due to his injury. Of course everyone around wanted to know what the outcome was and how soon he'll be back with the team. I knew his heart was breaking as he sat on the bench with his team with the massive boot on his leg and hobbling on crutches.
What hit me was what happened AFTER the game. Several coaches, players and knowledgeable parents were all saying. "You've got to focus on his cardio!" "What is he doing to maintain his cardio?" In my mind I was thinking, "What do you mean, he's only been laid up for 5 days"
I realized that our bodies are only as strong as we train it to be. If we slack off on training we can't immediately be back to where we were. We get out of our bodies what we put into them, both food and physically.
Since my son has a body of an athlete, a well-oiled machine, he has to commit daily to that level for it to be able to do what he asks of it
When I was working out last year I was feeling great, so much stronger! Then I slacked off, quit putting any effort into my body. I started back up 6 months later but I was NO WHERE NEAR what my level was back in June, not even the same as when I started in March. I had lost everything I had worked for and then some.
I'm coming back again. Getting stronger everyday! Still not where I was in June but I WILL get there and surpass it!
I don't need a body that can slam dunk a 10 pound-weighted basketball while wearing a 25lb weight vest. And I may never be able to run a mile while holding a weight ball high over my head. But my body is a machine. One that is going through an EXTREME overhaul, one that can do so much more than it's capable of now. I visualize what my body will be able to do with 50lbs gone, 100lbs gone, and even at goal 150+ gone. BUT...unless I establish the goal now to making this a lifetime commitment it won't happen.
And once I achieve my goals is it done? Can I relax? NO! This is for LIFE, for a healthier stronger ME. I'm looking forward to the overhaul, it's going to take a long time, be a lot of work but once I'm there I'm going to enjoy how well this machine runs I won't want to do anything to reverse it!
Monday, January 16, 2012
I'm going to be upfront through this process. I hope to use my blog posts in the future as a reminder of my journey and need to include everything, the good, the bad and the UGLY!
Yesterday was UGLY! I tried, I really did then I just succumbed to what I felt was inevitable.
I started my day making a yummy omelette casserole for my family. Used skim milk, less cheese, turkey sausage, lots of veggies and some egg whites. Took the time to enter the recipe and figure out nurtitional information for each serving. 209 calories, not bad. Got my family dressed and ready for church, made sure my 17yo was propped up on the couch with food, liquids and pain meds since he'd be home by himself.
Went to church and could not keep my eyes open! Came home and slept and craved EVERYTHING! I was also in a funk, felt like tears were at the corners of my eyes all evening long. I didn't like the feeling. Hated it! Even texted my sister to get help. She sent back encouragement but I still pursued junk, whatever sugar and carbs I could find in the house!
Then it dawned on me...When did Aunt Flo come for her last visit? Could it be time for her visit now? Sure enough she made an arrival this morning, darn her!!!
One thing that is positive about this, even though I did binge, is that I am more intuned to my body. The "old" me wouldn't have really noticed the funk because it would have been covered up with poor food choices anyway.
It's a great feeling to be able to hear what my body is saying now I just need to work on actually listening to it.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
YOU BET! But I don't want to be. I'm fighting the "old" me's tendency of eating when stressed (or happy, or bored, etc...)
So here's the story.
Yesterday, Friday night = GAME NIGHT! A lot of times my husband and I have to take turns because of the schedules of our other kids. Last night we allowed my 8th grade daughter to have 3 friends over after school until 11pm. I was the one who had to miss the two games of our boys.
During the games, when one of us has to miss, we send A LOT of text to keep the other one updated. First son's team lost by 2 points, so close!!!
Varsity game was going to be a great matchup! The other team has one of the best players in the state plus a player who was 6'9" (it's very rare that my boys get to play against someone their same size or a bit taller than them. It's a good challenge for them).
During the 3rd quarter, after having received many texts, my husband sent one that said "T out, hurt his ankle" That put me in panic mode. This has been an extremely bad year for injuries among high school athletes. I hate to see anyone get hurt even from the opposing team. Playing ball is everything for these high school athletes and it pains them to have to sit out no matter how long.
As the game progressed I found out, through the text, that my son never game back out, stayed with a trainer and a doctor that was present at the time. After the game they brought my husband into the trainer's room. My son was in terrible pain! As he went up to shoot another player came in to stop him and when my son came down he landed on the other players foot and rolled his ankle.
The trainer said that he has torn the outside ligaments that support his ankle from flopping around. Without being graphic his foot is able to turn in an unnatural way. It might be broken as well but we won't know until Monday. They wrapped his foot up tight and told him to go home, stay off of it, elevate, ice it and go to the orthopedic on Monday.
My heart BROKE! He was looking forward to this season. He's been working so hard and has set the goal to receive a scholarship for a Division 1 school. With this injury there is a possibility he'll be out for the rest of the season. Last nights game was only game #2 in our regular season (although they've played a total of 14).
As I waited for my husband to bring him home I joined my daughter and her friends who were watching The Help and eating ice cream sundaes. And, YES, I joined in on the sundaes as well! I didn't even feel guilty, at the time I was justifying it. I don't want to be that kind of person who masks their emotions with food, food that can ultimately do MORE damage to me than the basketballmove did to my son.
When my son hobbled inside he colapsed on the couch, pulled his sweatshirt up over his head and SOBBED! My heart broke right then. There's nothing worse than seeing your son in pain, Physical and Emotional pain!
So, here it is a new day and I do NOT want to stress eat. There will be stress and extra work for me, associated with this injury, for severl weeks maybe longer. I've got to figure out a way to let go of my anguish for him and not allow it to once again put ME on the Back Burner.
Thanks for listening!
PS. Son's team won by 13 and my son ended up with 10 pts even though he missed 1.5 quarters.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
As most of you know I have 7 kids. Two of them are currently in high school and basketball players. One is 15 and a sophmore, 6'9" and plays for the school's JV team. The other one is 17, a Junior, 6'8" and is on the Varsity team.
Our school, like I'm sure most, have a tradition where the mom escorts their player onto the court/field on their last home game of their senior year. Well a week ago my Sophmore son came to me and said, "Mom, you've got to lose your weight, you have one year until you have to escort T for his last home game"
I know my weight is an embarrassment to them. They both are so athletic. Not only do I know my son would be proud of me and feel more comfortable with me on his arm in front of all his friends I know I will feel so much better walking in front of everyone at a healthier weight!
So I have approximately 13.5 months until that moment. Where would I like to see myself by then? In ONEderland! I'm not planning on being at goal but even 199 would be the lowest I've weighed in 21 years.
I'm keeping that goal as inspiration but kind of in the background. This time around I'm focusing on smaller, immediate goals. Being successful with those will get me to where I want to be.
Here is a picture with me and my two sons after last nights games. The one in the argyle sweater is the Junior the other the Sophmore.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Last year, between April and June, I was on FIRE! I was motivated, enthusiastic and DOING IT! With my crazy life in order to get my workouts in I was waking up at 4:45 and going to the gym or working out on my treadmill. Then summer hit! With the summer I had 7 kids at home with not as much structure. They were coming and going all hours of the day. The older kids didn't have curfews until 11:00 so I had to stay awake to welcome them home or bring them home. Well going to bed at 11:30 does NOT mix well with waking up at 4:45 so I quit. Quit going to the gym, Quit exercising at home, Quit eating healthy, Quit on ME!
I'm now finding the desire, enthusiasm and dedication to make this happen, to get ME healthy! Having 7 kids is crazy whether its summer or school time. I haven't made it back to the gym yet but my goal was to go today. Of course that would mean waking up at 4:45. As I was getting ready to start heading to bed (8:30, I know it's early but I was going to read for a few and hope to actually be counting sheep by 9:30) my sophmore son said, "Oh, I have a paper due tomorrow in English. Rough draft, revision and final copy. If I don't have it done I can't play in the bball game tomorrow." Really?!?!!!!! ARGH!
His solution to the problem was for me to write it for him. Uh, yeah, like that was going to happen. This is my ADHD son and school and he mix about as well as water and oil. He's thankfully been able to maintain As and Bs this year except for in English. This is a HUGE accomplishment for him. Every morning he wakes up saying he hates school and it's the first thing he says when he walks in the door 8 hours later. He has two older cousins also with ADHD and neither of them graduated from high school. I am fighting to keep him in school.
I probably should have said, "Well, get going you have a lot of work to do tonight and if you don't get it done this will be a good lesson to have to sit out of the game" I didn't do that. But I did NOT write the paper for him. I was able to help him not be stressed out, set him in a quiet room and had him brainstorm his paper. I was completely surprised when he brought a fairly thought out three page paper. I proof read it, made the corrections and because I can type 90WPM I typed the final copy for him. (also because he had to wake up at 5:30 for a basketball commitment at 6am! Who makes teenage boys wake up even earlier on an important game day!).
Okay, I know I got sidetracked. So Since I didn't get to bed until 11:30 needless to say my alarm was not set for 4:45. I did get up at 5:30 to get my son out the door and then was able to get 45 minutes of the treadmill in before my daycare kiddos showed up.
I know I have to stay focused on my goal and know my reality is a CRAZY, CHAOTIC life. I need to realize that my schedule will not go as I plan, there are too many others around me to throw it awry. I need to be flexible and if my family needs my help and I can't wake up early I need to have creative options to get enough exercise done throughout the day.
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