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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I've obviously not been blogging for some weeks now...spent time at my Mother's helping out with family pressures...gained up to 168 lbs., but am back down to 164. Not being in my own kitchen and on my own schedule is deadly. But life moves on whether I'm going in the direction I want or not, so I'm back to work if not quite back to the level of hope and optimism I had achieved in November.

I've added a cookbook on the site, but am not sure how to share it. I'll get it figured out eventually. Time for me to get back to some creative and hopefully financially profitable activities. Talk to everyone later. Bye!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROYALETBONE 1/22/2008 10:54PM

    I do like your spirit. You are like a refreshing glass of spring water-
Steady on!
By the way- The last 2 boats I boat, were: a 14' Sunfish fully rigged with a trailer for $125.00, and a 16' fishing boat with trailer, anchors, 18HP Johnson, gas can, life preservers, etc for $500.00. Boating is not just for the wealthy! The beauty on my page is owned by my 2 kids. I have 10 boats in the family- canoes, kayaks, fishing boats, sail boats- the kids have the only one worth real bucks- but then, they are taking off around the world on her, so I'm glad she is a healthy boat!

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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Had a lovely comment from MFScott after yesterday's entry...what a kind thing to say. Went to her page, but did not leave a message. That boat is a beauty...how do you spell envy??? I used to sail with my husband in another life long ago. Have had neither the health nor money to do so since the end of the marriage. Half the fun of it was seeing the wind in his face, the light in his eyes. I'd have to overcome that memory to sail in my own right, but I did love it. Had the ambition to sail solo when I was a girl, so it wasn't all his idea anyway. It was the same rush as taking a horse over hurdles...splitting the wind!

I am some better today, I think...must clean my apartment to be ready for a taco party I'm throwing Saturday...first time I've given a "party" in years. I finally decided that if I wait for the health and the "larger" home venue, I'll never have anyone over, so bite the bullet and do it. That decision was made before the respiratory infection reared its ugly head, but oh, well. Such is life. I will pace myself carefully for the next several days so that this does not wipe me out. That will mean more sleep hours and no cardio or strength training at all before Monday. Then, if all is well, I'll resume at a reduced level. We'll see how things go. CFIDS is all about accepting trade-offs in activity. Focus and priority identification are key. Speaking of which, I've put in enough time at the computer for now.



Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Today is difficult...am fighting an upper respiratory tract infection...day eleven on antibiotics and steroids without significant improvement, but the intestinal tract is starting to feel the effects...reeking havoc with diet, needless to say, and with strength and exercise, and therefore with weight loss and ultimately with personal goal fulfillment.

I WILL remember that this is the first significant bout with debilitating illness since I nearly drowned in CICU in my own bronchial secretions last December. The infections used to come as spin-offs from the CFIDS like clockwork every three months for years on end, though the asthma wasn't present in the early years to complicate matters the way it is now.

I will not succumb to depression. "Survival begins in the mind." That is a quote from a Dick Francis novel, "Longshot", by the main character of that story, a writer by the name of John Kendall...so true. God has brought me through too much to give up now. Kendall's character also said that more people died from exhaustion in wilderness survival incidents because they failed to comprehend the "strength in weakness." He meant that one must learn to slow down, back up, reevaluate and restrategize...rest and renew... in order to keep going. I came to that lesson late and have wasted much strength by stubbornly clinging to the original goals and game plan rather than learning flexibility and change. In other words, if I can't get to the original goal by the originally conceived route, where can I get to, and how?
Or, as my friend, Willie, ruefully asks: what CAN I have, God?

So, today, I will do what I can do, and I will be thankful that I have this day at all. I am grateful for the greatly improved consistency and higher tessitura of strength that I have seen since eliminating gluten and beginning to use the VEMMA nutritional supplement...greatly reduced levels of inflammation throughout my entire body as a result...lungs, joints...everywhere. Life must be lived one step at a time. We are not guaranteed the destination that we desire, but we CAN learn to enjoy the journey. To quote yet another writer: "The world had to be faced as it was, not as he wished it to be." (Robert Jordan, speaking as his character, Rand al'Thor, in "The Dragon Reborn," from "The Wheel of Time" series.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROYALETBONE 11/28/2007 9:03PM

    You are so beautiful.
Keep it up.
Keep up your faith and hope.
Those of us watching will cheer & console.

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