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Where did THAT come from?!?!

Friday, June 06, 2014

I turn 37 in a few months. Birthdays don't usually bother me - I actually enjoy indulging in a little selfishness. But this year feels different. Because I have very recently noticed something about my body. It is AGING.

Yes, I realize I've been aging this whole time, but don't you think there are certain times when your body lurches forward a little? Just to scare the crap out of you? Like, about 2 years ago when I found my first gray hair, and then 3 days later I found a whole CROP of them? Not cool, body. Not cool.

Now, I've been noticing little things for a while now...little laugh lines...some weird amorphous back pains...the aforementioned offending gray hairs...but this new thing is different. This new thing is UNACCEPTABLE. I can no longer make that lump of fat around my waist disappear by "sucking it in." emoticon

It's always been there, but it used to be tolerable. I could suction it down with some ungainly device of torture (spanx) and keep that little fat roll under wraps. It was an annoyance, but it couldn't keep me down! Bring on the wrap dresses! Bring on the cute belts! But no more. It happened all of a sudden. The roll has taken on some new maniacal tendency toward rigidity. It won't budge. And it's REALLY bumming me out.

See, I am a very lucky girl, because I am often told I look much younger than my age. It's always made me feel a little smug. But now it's all coming to an end. Because I know where that rigid belly roll came from, and it is tolling the bell of my impending old age. That rigid belly roll came straight from my NANA.

I used to sit on her lap and wonder why it was so...taut. Like a balloon that's filled up almost too much. Like the floor of a bouncy-house. When I was little, I thought maybe all old people were like that. As I got older, I hoped more and more that NOT ALL old people were like that. As I got even older, I saw women my size go through a sort-of transition...and now it's happened to me! The Horror!

BUT NO MORE! Today I make a stand. I will eradicate the offending belly roll once and for all! You are messing with the WRONG lady, belly roll! I will put on my running shoes and I will jiggle you RIGHT BACK INTO SUBMISSION! You will not make me feel like an old lady yet!


In nine days I will do the hardest thing I've ever done.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

This Indianapolis 500 Festival Mini-Marathon is in 9 days, and I am signed up to run it. For the uninitiated, it's a half-marathon - 13.1 miles. I have never run 13.1 miles in my life. I have run 11.5 miles in a training run and I didn't die (so that's a good sign, right?) but I'm still anxious.

I have been training for this race for 6 months. 6 months ago I couldn't run 1.5 miles. Now I can run 11.5. I have amazed myself already. Even if I can't finish the race, even if I have to walk the whole darn thing - I am still proud. I kept running and training even though I had a bad fall and sprained my ankle. I kept running even though I got a case of shingles. (OUCH.) I kept running through head-colds, job changes, aches and injuries, sick kids, stress and really terrible weather.

So even though I'm nervous, I've done everything I can to get ready. My friends and family will be there to cheer me on, along with thousands of strangers. And if I run the whole thing, I have promised myself that I can gun another half-marathon - in Disney World! :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PAMDAQTPI 4/25/2013 1:20PM

    Good job! You can do it!
2 months ago I couldn't run 0.5 miles and I'm planning on doing a marathon this fall. Stick to your training plan and you'll be fine. I'd say good luck, but you don't need it.

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KIMBERLY19732 4/25/2013 11:42AM


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RX_2_RV 4/25/2013 11:38AM

    You have a great attitude! I'm sure you can do it. I have yet to run my first 5K (still waddling along just under 15 minute miles, LOL). What a great reward too! I love Disney World!

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COOP9002 4/25/2013 11:27AM

    Awesome job on pursuing such a significant task. Let us know how it goes.

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JSPIN74 4/25/2013 11:02AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Runners are weirdos.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

I left a comment on a community page today entitled "What keeps you motivated to run?" Then, during my run today, I decided I had a lot more to say on the subject.

See, a year ago, I would have BLOWN right past that comment page. I was a NON-runner. I did not run, and I did not understand people who did run. Weirdos.

A year ago, I thought running was about the best way to torture someone. I would see the occasional psychotic out in 20 degree weather in the snow in head to tow spandex, and I would shake my head and wonder what that person's mother had done to them to make them that way.

On any occasion when I HAD to run (gym class, runaway toddler) I felt awful, and ridiculous. My face got red, my shorts bunched up, and I looked about as graceful as someone who only runs when they are being chased.

Now, I still look terrible when I run. My kids call me the deranged tomato, because my face turns BRIGHT red. My shorts still bunch up. And I have to wear these bulky shoes with extra support on the arch because I over-pronate. But now when I run, I don't care. I FEEL COOL.

And this is what I want to share with you. If I can learn to love running - ANYONE can learn to love running. I'm not saying running is for everyone. I'm saying that if you've never really given it a chance because you think you could never be one of "those" people, you should drop your preconceived notion of yourself and give it a try. Because running saved me.

I have chronic depression. It's mixed up in my weight issues, and has been a cloud over me and my family for as long as I can remember. I'm a lucky lady, because my poor husband and my little boys love me even though sometimes Mommy couldn't get out of bed. I've been on modication for years, but I never really started to feel better until I started a C25K program and re-discovered endorphins.

The first 2 weeks sucked. I hated running. (If you could call it running. Shuffling is a more appropriate label.) It was the WORST. But I did it anyway. The third week, I was almost home, and a really good song came on my ipod, so I kept on shuffling right past my house. And then another song came on, and I kept running. That was the day I changed my mind about running.

I put my runs on the family calendar so everybody in the family could see them and expected me to put on my sneakers that day. I checked them off one by one. I signed up to run a 5K. And then another. And then I signed up to run a half-marathon this summer. I started Jeff Galloway's training schedule, and I AMAZED myself when I ran 8 miles. 8 miles. 6 months before that I couldn't even run ONE mile.

I don't run fast, but I run. And because I run, I can get out of bed every day. Most days I'm actually smiling. I'm still on medication, but I FEEL better than I have in years. I look forward to running. If I don't run for 3 days, I start to feel edgy and fidgety.

So, I guess THIS is what keeps me motivated to run. ME. I keep me motivated to run. Nobody and nothing else in the world can do it for me. Every foot I put in front of the other is a choice I make.

And music helps. And cute running shoes. And the funny looks people give you when they drive past you as you run in 20 degree weather in head to toe spandex. :)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NHES220 3/4/2013 1:28PM

    Great post, I'm just trying to get back to running. I'm doing the Run Your Butt Off program and signed up for a 5k. I too am an over pronator, identify with the shorts bunching up, but I am determined to do it. Thanks for the post, it made me smile.

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STEVIEBEE569 2/2/2013 11:08AM

    Way to go! Good for you! You're definitely inspirational! Keep training and pushing forward!

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SLENDERELLA61 1/31/2013 7:37PM

    Awesome blog!! Brought tears to my eyes. Yes, yes, yes. I couldn't believe I became a runner after years and years of being a committed non-athlete. I agree. Anyone who hasn't really tried, should. It is a joyful and incredible experience.

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RUN-GIRL71 1/31/2013 4:56PM

    Love it!! Your awesome emoticon

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SPIRALDOWN 1/31/2013 4:23PM


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VEG_GIRL04 1/31/2013 3:48PM

    I have to admit that sitting at my desk at work taking a time out from a hectic day - you literally brought a tear to my eye. Your battle with depression, your wonderful family and the way you've healed yourself is truly inspiring.

This is my first week doing the rookies training program to running a 5k. I am like you started, I really never understood runners, nor did I ever feel the need to run. And now I'm starting my journey -it's only day 2 - but I'm making myself get out in the 20 degree weather today - so the spark must be starting!

I'm about 100 percent sure I look like an idiot when I run. I will think of the deranged tomato everytime I shuffle down the street and know that there is hope!

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NORWOODGIRL 1/31/2013 3:43PM

    Good for you!!! emoticon

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WORST. DAY. EVER. and it's only noon......

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

I am having the WORST DAY EVER.
First, I am on a cleanse to fit into a stupid dress this Saturday, and it's making me cranky.
Second, my 2-year old has decided that the best way to spend his mornings is to stand in the middle of the kitchen and scream.
Third, I had a big fight with my husband this morning, because apparently it's MY fault the 2-year old won't stop screaming, and I'm a lazy worthless piece of crap, and he does everything.
And after my REALLY fun morning, I come in to work to discover that my workplace is imploding, they are laying off 50 people today, and nobody knows how long I will have a job.

I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to eat a chocolate cake and drink a bottle of pinot, then crawl into bed.

I probably won't do any of those things, but I want to.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAYNEE48 1/29/2013 3:31PM

    number 2, I can relate to. i don't have kids but tons of nieces and nephews and their children. They can be pretty loud !!

number 3, I can definitely relate to...a lazy worthless piece of crap. Well I've definitely been there with my ex-husband. You know you're better than that !!! Try not to let it get you down as I know it can,. emoticon


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MOM2OR 1/29/2013 11:59AM

    I've been there, trust me, it does get better. I have to live with the fact that I'm on maternity leave until November and because of that I have to do everything and anything for my 2 kids. It's my "job" or so my husband seems to think. He doesn't have to do anything and we fight about it all the time. Just think happy thoughts and try to pull through it. Tomorrow is another day. And although chocolate cake does sounds mighty tempting, especially when you're having a bad day, just think of how it will make you feel tomorrow. Don't let your husband or work make you eat horribly. Remember why you are eating healthy to begin with. The cake may sound delicious now and comforting, but the way it will make you feel after those 5 minutes, isn't worth it, trust me. emoticon emoticon

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KIMBERLY19732 1/29/2013 11:58AM

    ((((hugs)))) THat SUCKS!

Be kind to yourself, instead of eating or drinking wine -find a walking track an take out your frustrations on the pavement! emoticon

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CBILODEAU6 1/29/2013 11:54AM

  I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to eat a chocolate cake and drink a bottle of pinot, then crawl into bed.
Lol I know that feeling!!!
I also have a two years old who scream like it's the only sound he could make!
I'm with you! tomorow it's another day!


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I bought the dress!

Wednesday, January 02, 2013

I'm going to a formal fancy-dress party in 30 days. On New Years' Eve, I treated myself to a little shopping, knowing that the cocktail dresses would be on sale, and I found one that ROCKS. It's strapless, tight, short and gorgeous. I love it - it shows off all my good parts (curves!) and all my flaws (too many curves!).

Even if I don't lose any weight before the party, I still feel pretty fantastic in the dress. It fits (if a little snugly) and I can wear it with confidence now. However, if I can lose 5 pounds and tone up my belly and arms, it will feel INCREDIBLE.

So my dress is hanging in the middle of my closet so I see it every day when I wake up - it is part of my motivation for the next 30 days! My plan is to work toward looking my best in that dress by doing SOMETHING every day...running 3 times a week with strength training on the in-between days and some yoga or pilates on the 7th day. I'm also going to faithfully log onto SP every day and really commit to keeping track of my food (and drink) intake.

Yesterday I did Tracy Mallet's "Booty Barre" workout, and today I'm running a 5K. That Booty Barre workout is KILLER. I couldn't get all the way through it, and I had to take a lot of breaks! Tomorrow, if I'm not too sore, I'm going to try it again and see if I can't do a little more. Maybe by the end othe month I'll be able to get all the way through! I know that it's definitely going to help me tone just where I need it - arms, booty and abs. Can't wait to start seeing my body change!


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