Thursday, June 24, 2010
I'm in a super exercise slump. I haven't properly worked out in weeks. I ride my bike everyday and move around a lot at work but it's not enough. I'm only maintaining my weight but need to get back on the proverbial bike and keep losing.
I know if I just suck it up and do a great workout, I'll be motivated again (possibly). That's where I'm at this morning, I am all suited up in workout gear and am gonna do it...after I finish this post because this is obviously a procrastination ploy.
One of the big issues is that lately I've been starting work at 5:15am, meaning I get up at 4:20am. Another is that I don't get enough sleep. I would have to go to bed around 8pm to get a full 8hrs of sleep but the sun is still out and I feel like a loser going to bed so early so I end up getting only 5-6hrs of sleep. So when I get off my shift I feel dizzy and sluggish.
I know this is not a big deal, in college I continuously ran on 4-5 hrs of sleep each night but I am really good at talking myself out of things.
How do you de-slump yourselves. Mind you, I do all my exercise at home or by cycling (lol, nice word play). I need to join a gym but haven't put forth the effort because I don't want to deal with pushy sales persons.
Help, push me tell me I need to lose weight, that I am not healthy yet - something! to put me back on track.
Thursday, June 03, 2010
I love love summer fruit! I despise apples and eat them through fall and winter because they are in-season and cheap. But if they taste too much like apple juice (which I have always disliked), I can't eat them. Oranges are yummy but not as convenient as apples or pears (love pears, btw). So when summer rolls around and we are bombarded with tons of fruit varieties as opposed to the 3-4 options in the bleaker months, I get super excited.
I'm big on buying fruits that are in-season. I can't bring myself to pay more than 1.99/lb for something unless I am really tempted to try something new, or need it for a recipe. We have fabulous fruit in the US so why pay more to have something flown in from S. America that isn't really in-season there either? Anyway, I digress...
I saw that Safeway had cherries for 1.97/lb!!! A steal!! Especially when I almost bought them last week at 3.99/lb (also on sale, reg. 6.99/lb). I LOVE cherries, love almost anything cherry flavored and get so happy when cherry season comes around. I even have a tattoo of cherries, that's how much I love them.
I ran over to the store yesterday, so excited, and decided that I would also get other berries to take home. I bought a double size pack of raspberries (5.99 or something, the small single packs were moldy looking), 2 small packs of blackberries (ONE DOLLAR EACH!!), and a big bag of cherries.
I froze half of the berries immediately and saved the rest for this week's snacks. The cherries I also left alone in the fridge. Freezing berries is a little involved but pretty easy. Just rinse berries and lay to dry, once dry enough, transfer to a cookie sheet and put in the freezer. Once they are frozen you can then transfer the berries to a ziploc freezer bag and store in freezer. The reason you place them on a cookie sheet to freeze is so that they don't get stuck together. You have to carefully place them on the sheet so that they don't touch one another. You also need to make sure you a careful during all the handling as they are pretty delicate. I found that a mesh strainer works better than a colander for rinsing as the colander holes are too big and rough and mangle the berries more, esp. if they are pretty ripe. You do not need to sprinkle any sugar or stuff onto the berries before freezing.
For dessert last night I made a ghetto version of a fruit tart I had over the weekend. I placed a 1/4c of French Vanilla pudding made with low-fat milk in a bowl and topped with the berries and slid in 3 small vanilla wafers into the bowl (to act as the crust). Next time I'm going to try a different pudding flavor, like a custard because I couldn't taste this one at all. I stole the pack from my parent's pantry (with permission) other wise I would've purchased some sugar or fat-free version. Overall the dessert was ok. 'Nilla wafers were definitely unnecessary and tonight I'm just going to top a small bit of pudding with the berries. Myb/f liked it though and he usually has very high standards for foods....so I guess I did ok with my invention.
Can't wait to play around more with this summer's offerings. I think I'll attempt to bake something with fruit this year.
PS - I looked on the Jello website and they have low-fat sugar-free White chocolate and cheesecake flavors...mmmm add berries to that? Could be divine!
Monday, May 17, 2010
I went to a bachelorette party this weekend in San Luis Obispo, CA. A beautiful gorgeous town located on the central coast. This is the town where I attended college and moved away from rather recently. I love it and ABSOLUTELY miss it.
Anyway. This is a town where everyone is white, affluent, and in serious good health. While I lived there I would go to the beach and pretend that I was cool with myself and just chill but I'd always be thinking about how I looked. I never went to the beach with friends because I didn't want to be embarrassed.
Back to this weekend:
This party included a long day by the Madonna Inn pool. To prepare, I stopped eating sugar about 2 weeks beforehand to get a little flatter in the tummy and I bought a super cute swimsuit from Target. Most of the other attendees were fitness instructors and super hot and slim with enviable bodies. I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
I got there, put on my suit and enjoyed myself! I felt sexy and confident and: I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT MY TUMMY ROLLS!
Just look at those nice shoulders! (Yeah, I'm tootin' my own horn!)
Afterward we went to our hotel room at the infamous Madonna Inn (garishly kitsch but fun) and I put on shorts, heeled sandals, and a fun top. I don't think I even noticed what half of the girls were wearing because I didn't care - like, I wasn't comparing myself to them like I normally would have. I was just having a great time and: I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT MY TUMMY ROLLS! *
*(The enormous amounts of beverages being consumed most likely helped my confidence because I was just having a blast hanging out with a bunch of really nice women.)
Here's wacky picture before dinner:
NO TUMMY ROLL THOUGHTS THERE!
Here's one of me after the long night (this is the point at which I wanted nothing more than to sleep but I was forced by the other girls to stay awake for a pizza delivery and attempted to eat a slice but only got through 2 bites, dropped it on the hotel room floor, picked it up, put it in the bathroom on a plate, and fell asleep):
When I saw the pic above I did a double-take because it's definitely the first pic I've taken in years where I was surprised to see that I didn't look way bigger than I thought I looked in my mind. I think I look pretty slim in that one! TUMMY ROLLS, or thoughts of them, WHAT? - NONE HERE!!
Finally, the one pic that MADE ME THINK ABOUT MY TUMMY ROLLS (but only after seeing it, I love it otherwise because it's totally me - goofy to the max!):
I wish I could erase the roll but hey - I felt so happy and so confident. Had I attended that party a few months ago, I would've been stressed out about my appearance. Now, I just need to lose more before the wedding in June so that I feel even better!!
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Although I am nowhere close to my goal weight yet I also never think about it. I can't even say off the top of my head if I have my goal posted as 140 or 145lbs. Instead, I choose to look at everyday I don't binge, do a little something active, and feel happy as reaching my goal.
I'm not in a hurry to reach my goal; I want to learn and enjoy myself everyday. I fear that if I put too much focus on losing weight as quickly as possible, focus on my goal too much, then I won't learn anything on my journey. I won't learn how to handle slip-ups or how to balance healthy and indulgent foods while still losing, or how to maintain my weight.
I don't know if I'll reach my goal, or if I'll decide to lower it (very hard for me to be slim - I gain muscle easily on my 5'4" frame and have never been smaller than an 8.) the only thing I really care about is my happiness.
A lot of my life I wasn't happy because of my weight - I developed early and was a size 12 in 6th grade. All the other girls were well, still girls. I was teased, called names and it didn't super bother me but it did really effect my self-esteem deep in the core. I am really good at pretending everything is great and that I am this super-confident woman but a big portion of my life has been spent on asking myself "how do I look?" "Do I look ok? Does this make me look big? Do I look gargantuan next to my friends?" The only time I remember not feeling like that all the time was when I was fit and active but still felt insecure because my two best girlfriends were sizes 0 and 3.
Currently, I am very happy. Sure, sometimes I look in the mirror or see my reflection in a window and think - oy, you are a big girl. But most of the time I am really happy, I have a great companion, I am smart and pretty (pretty enough, I am vain) and consider myself wise and all those attributes plus others lead to me being happy and confident. Add to that my healthier body (which infers a leaner body too) and I am very happy.
I definitely do want to lose more - I find myself saying to my self that I want to be buff, like super tone, because I think a tone back and tone arms on a woman are super sexy. But like I said, if I don't reach my supposed goal weight but feel incredibly happy, then screw it. (Just as long as I am in a healthy BMI range.)
Enjoy each day! Use daily triumphs and set-backs as learning tools. Don't feel like it's over or that you are not a success because it takes you a month to lose 2lbs. Evaluate why that is, or if you feel that you are doing everything right, just be happy. Weight loss (and gain) is a delayed process and sometimes our actions don't show up until weeks later on the scale. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to reach your destination without stopping to sight-see along the way; you'll end up looking back and it will all be a blur and you'll not know how you ended up at your final destination. You won't be able to retrace your path and recall having learned anything.
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