Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Not food or fitness related. Any seeking that content are advised to move along.
I am a trained certified experienced teacher. I have been unable to find a job for 2 years. During this time I have battled depression, anxiety and feelings of low self-worth.
I took my current position as a teacher's aide because it will allow me to stay in the education field, doing what I love, even if its not at the ideal location or the ideal job within that field. When I was offered the job much was said that "The school is growing. There might be a position down the road." No promises, but potential. At the start of this semester, I was asked to teach a single section of biology to some of the hardest cases in a new, special program. The rest of the time, I am a teacher's aide. Eagerly, I agreed. I am a team player. I want to teach. I am willing to start at the bottom.
Surprisingly, I have been making progress with some of these hard cases. Within the regular program, some students are seeking me out for all the regular reasons teens bond with adults in their lives. I enjoy a collegial relationship with my teacher colleagues, even if I am not "one of them." After all, we're all in this together. Things are going well. I feel buoyed....until today.
I will not be receiving teacher pay for this one section. My choices are thus:
1) Continue to do the job. Be a team player or sucker depending on your point of view. Its for the good of the kids.
2) Refuse to do the job. Be an @$$wipe/ non-team player and possibly not have job in the future. Damage the kids.
Husband says #2. Science colleague says #2. Logic brain says #2. I dont want to establish precedent that they (central administration - building principal planned to pay me and was surprised when they said no) can do this. My heart knows this is the WRONG decision for the kids. I feel sick and want to cry.
What's going to happen? The science teacher in the building will be asked to design lessons for someone else to deliver. They wont be able to do it as well as I can
1) I know the content
2) I have built the relationship with these students.
FYI - these are not "normal" kids. This is a special school for the emotionally disturbed. My fellow teachers, you know these kids, these are the ones that make you crazy in the classroom. The ones that cant stop talking, the ones that always had something happen during lunch, the ones that cant make it to school on a regular basis. Here they are!
So my challenge in the next 24 hours is to find a way to nicely tell my principal that I will not be working for free, but its not by choice.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
The cold weather here in the northeast has put a kaposh on most of my exercise. I'm making a point of going to the gym tomorrow, but otherwise (with the exception of Thurs Swim lesson) its been pretty pathetic here. The pity-party continues: evolutionary eating patterns are kicking in too, I've been craving and eating hot, caloric things. You can only heat your insides with tea for so long before they kick at you and demand TOAST and CHEESE and BEEF.
But anyway, I wanted to celebrate two important events in my son's life which have nothing to do with weight loss and exercise, but are kind of momentous.
1) He started reading chapter books this week. The Mouse and the Motorcycle, The Chalkbox Kid and vol 1&2 of the Magic Tree House series. Encyclopedia Brown is in progress. In one week. Clearly, when it comes to books in this house, we dont mess around.
2) Friday, he lost his first tooth (intentionally; one was knocked out a year ago after a series of gravity accidents). Child has decided that he wants to save his money for "A Real Camera" not a hand-me-down or a kids camera. He wants a real one. And he had me write a letter to the Tooth Fairy to save up his money until he looses enough teeth.
Of course today he did wake me up by piling every single stuffed animal he owns on my head.....
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Swim lessons at least.
Last week I started swim lessons and was mightily disappointed. I was not challenged. (I can already swim, I want to get better!) I spoke with the Director that night and she was going to check into the class and call back. When I didnt hear from her I called back last night.
They DID decide to split the class and since the other person did not show up, I DID get a private lesson at public rates!
Turns out I'm already pretty good, just all the stuff I've figured out on my own, but there are a few tweaks that will improve it even more. Perhaps not 6 weeks worth of tweeks, but definitely an improvement over last week. And it gets me out of the house and having a regularly scheduled exercise time. You cant have everything, but "I have to admit, its getting better....a little better all the time."
A reminder and public service message: if you are not satisfied with something in your life, do something to change it!!
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