OPTIMIST1948   27,276
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OPTIMIST1948's Recent Blog Entries

Workin' on it

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SCIFIMOM 4/19/2012 4:34PM

  That's you, the leader of the pack!

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PEWTERBUNNY 4/18/2012 9:49PM

    Just keep swimming!

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CINERICIA 4/18/2012 7:34AM

    I concur.

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YDAVIS23 4/18/2012 7:15AM

    Hahaha love it.

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DOGLADY13 4/17/2012 9:39PM

    You Rock, GIRL!

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Dark Shadows

Monday, April 16, 2012

Warning: I'm letting my evil twin "The Pessimist" out of her closet.

I am having the second day of a mild anxiety attack. Its affecting my exercise. Proof: I just came back from my slowest run EVER. I just couldnt do what I normally do.

I'm supposed to get approved for a new job tonight/tomorrow. Part Time Home Teacher for a local school district. Why the anxiety? Duh, I love teaching, but I lost the job before. Obviously, I'm worried about turning my family upside-down again and FAILING.

These failure "brain worms" are affecting my exercise routine. My slowest run ever today and then in my time on the bike, it takes me about an hour (58 to 65 minutes, depending) to do 11 miles. Friday I tried to do a Brick with both bike and running legs, and just collapsed about a mile into the run. So I'm slow and have no endurance and willpower. Will the triathlon be one more thing I fail at?

3 days last week I was under on my calorie count. When this happened before I said "Wow, this is cool, perhaps I can start working a few treat foods back into my diet." But when I ate the cookies, I almost instantly went over. So I cant even get the diet thing down. I either eat too much, or too little, and I end up staring at the fridge at 8pm. I'm not hungry and I'm wondering if I should eat just to eat, but that seems like the road to ruin.

So right now, I'm a giant, anxiety ridden failure magnet. And my house is a giant mess too, so I'm not even a successful housewife either.

I call myself the Optimist, because usually I try to keep these dark thoughts to myself. I want to support other people. My issues are ... my issues. I made my bed. I try to be a Light for myself and other people, but the problem is: the brighter the light, the sharper the shadows in the corners. Right now, they are looming over me and the more I try and stuff them down, the worse I feel. I'm hoping that by naming them, publicly, I can face them. Make them go away.

Yes I talked to my Doctor about my anxiety. Yes I do need therapy. But my insurance does not cover it. So I stuff everything inside, duct-tape the box shut and say I'll deal with it later. Because you cant outrun your demons and your shadows are stuck to the soles of your feet.

And now I'm going to take a shower.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAE_LEIGH22 4/17/2012 6:10PM

    I totally get it.

Can you talk to someone else about it, even the school's counselor? Even just researching online or at the library may help.

You are NOT a failure. You are an incredible SparkFriend. You are always honest with me, and many people aren't. I always appreciate your help and support.

I wish you the best. You've got this, girl.

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MISSIFISH 4/16/2012 9:10PM

    I'm so sorry you are feeling like this right now. I hope that things will get brighter soon. I hope the job pans out beautifully, and you can find that many things are going well.

I know how the doubts can sneak up - I just have a strong sense that you can beat them.

Feel well - and treat yourself to something happy - it might just start a chain reaction.

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CINERICIA 4/16/2012 1:46PM

    I could offer platitudes. The only failure is not to try. Etc. But if I were in the state of mind you seem to be in, all that would do is make me want to start swinging with heavy and/or pointed objects. What I will say, however, is that you very successfully put yourself out there as a Light to others, and you would not be able to do that if you did not, in fact, burn brightly. But no one can light the world on their own. You need assistance and support as well. Doubts are not the equivalent of failure. Doubts are only that...doubts. And at a time when you have so many changes and pending changes in your life, it is no surprise that you are experiencing quite a few. Even good changes can (are) stressful.

We are all here for you. You've propped up enough people who were flagging for us not to do the same for you. Multiple lights shine brighter than one light alone, after all.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

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MELLIEH0212 4/16/2012 12:35PM

    I think we all feel like this sometimes. One of my challenges on one of my teams this week is "to be positive about me". I hope that writing it down here has helped you in some way... letting it out of the box and getting help from others to conquer the demons. I don't know why, as moms/wives, we feel we have to be everything to everybody everytime they need it. Maybe this week you should make the "positive about me" challange one for you as well. Tell yourself something positive everyday, smile at yourself in the mirror. YOU can and will do this and you have TONS of support here, let others help you as you have always helped them. emoticon

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VIXSTERLU 4/16/2012 12:05PM

Remember, the shadows are at your beck and call, whatever you do, they do. You ARE the optimist. You are having a moment of darkness, that's all. Allow it, feel it, then get back on the bike or the road and go again. As for the tri, you will not fail. I did not technically finish mine a few years back, only because they had to reopen the roads to the public, so we couldn't finish the 4 mile run within the allotted time, but we did anyway, running next to cars.

I hope your day gets better by the minute.

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MISSG180 4/16/2012 11:37AM

    You are not alone in this! I do the same thing, and it's hard and miserable and I don't like it!! But you will get past it and strive on.

It always seems like spring should be the time when we get cheerful, but in reality it's when a lot of depression gets worse before finally getting better. So you are probably at the nadir of your cycle and will start coming out of it soon.

Giant hugs, and I believe in you!!!

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Prepping for the Week

Sunday, April 15, 2012

I decided to make a mess of the kitchen one day so I dont have to do it multiple times during the week. I made Turkey Salad, chopped the veggies for Turkey Pot Pie, and then made a vinegar coleslaw.

I was going to make another fruit salad, but I'm tired of kitchen prep. Its BEYOOOTIFUL outside! Going out to play!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YDAVIS23 4/16/2012 6:40AM

    mmmm the pot pie sounds good!

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DOGLADY13 4/15/2012 5:48PM

    I like to do that, too. We have tomorrow off (God, I love Massachusetts and Patriots Day!) and I plan to make a HUGE mess in the kitchen.

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Playground Strength Training

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I've pretty much conquered most of my food demons. (More accurately, I've learned to live with them.) I've got the Cardio thing down. But I really, really, really hate strength training. Sets and Reps are boring. I know I *should* do it. I know it is the missing component in my transformation to Athletic Superhero. But every time those little items come up on my fitness tracker, I suddenly have something else to do: laundry, clean the bathroom, and oh, look, DH is watching the Daily Show, quality time is important too, right?

Today, I did almost everything on the "Lower Body" list while Child was on the playground , and threw in a few more (I'll list everything below, for those looking for ideas). This is something I can see myself doing with a bit more regularity than my current practice: which involves equal doses of threats, bribery and guilt. And I still only do it about once every 2 weeks.

As the weather gets nicer and Child and I spend more time at the playground, this is the perfect opportunity for me to allocate my time to ST when I would otherwise be doing...nothing. I have the Child count for me, because this way he feels involved. For those looking for a dose of HIT, use the time between sets to chase your particular child around the playground.

Hey, the fat won't melt itself. Whatever it takes, ya know?

What I did :

Skater Jumps (kind of like a lateral lunge only with a hop from one foot to another)
Single leg squats
Wall sit (like a wall squat but you just stay down and feel the burn)
Hip Flex & extend
Leg Abduction (away from centerline)
Incline pushups - (I used a platform at bench height)
Airplane Pose

And a few more that you might want to think about:

Calf Raises/Rocking
Lunges (try the walking kind for variety)
Tricep dips
Leg Adduction
Plank & Side Planks (Especially with a bench for wusses like me)

Take a look thru the ST library. I bet you could find 6-10 more that you could do for your own playground workout. It all counts and anything is better than nothing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIXSTERLU 4/13/2012 9:12PM

    Yes, playgrounds are not just for kids :) I use them whenever I can. I love your list, think I'll try some of those too. I also love push offs, find a bench, fence top, anything just above the belly and do push ups, but push off completely and lower down to full push up. Works all the muscles in he chest, feels good.

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MISSIFISH 4/13/2012 5:40PM

    That is a great idea! I've also been taking a resistance band to the office and doing some simple ST between bursts of work. That always makes me relax and makes me feel more effective at work.

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YDAVIS23 4/13/2012 6:13AM

    It's funny that we all have our comfort zones. I hate doing anything with legs, but lifting with arms makes me feel like a superhero. What about some 3 or 5 pounders that you could bring with you to the park? You're doing great!

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RAE_LEIGH22 4/13/2012 12:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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DOGLADY13 4/12/2012 11:02PM

    That is GREAT! As I have whined about before, I hate exercising and have to trick myself into it all the time. Playground strength training is just brilliant. Now if I only had a child and a playground near by...

And you are already a Athletic Superhero.

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Motivating myself - its hard sometimes.

Monday, April 09, 2012

"I do not want to run today"
Said the Optimist I want to stay
Inside, cause' its cold out there.
Windy too. No, My comfy chair
Will be alright, I'll do some exercise tonight.
I've laundry to do, clean the bathroom
Read books about John Carter on Barsoom.
And so I attempt to motivate myself
by writing bad poetry, from Silverstein's shelf.
I need to attone for yesterday's sins
Work the chocolate off my chin.
So I heave myself off the chair,
and promise 10 minutes in the cold spring air.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIXSTERLU 4/11/2012 12:08AM

    I am inspired to join in the fun
Sorry, but I've got nothing hun.

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DOGLADY13 4/10/2012 11:05PM

    I'm too tired to come up with bad doggerel.

I'm impressed with you little sonnet to the inner demons. You made me laugh.

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YDAVIS23 4/10/2012 5:47AM

    Those cadbury minis
will not make you skinny
you've got to get up and work
not just lift up your fork
yes, I'm kind of a dork,
But it's all in good fun,
Ok, I'm done!

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XRSIZE18 4/10/2012 4:44AM

    And you probably
Did more than ten
I hope tomorrow
You'll do it again.
Bad poetry is great
For a laugh or two
So glad I have
A Sparkfriend like you!

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IMTRISH 4/9/2012 1:05PM

    I absolutely love this! Getting off my chair to go ride my exercise bike. Yeah, it's raining and gloomy but that's no excuse for me either. THANKS!!

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WICKEDIMP 4/9/2012 11:48AM

    It's cold and windy (and sporadically rainy) here, too. So I'm feeling this myself.

Though I would have to find something to rhyme "Work the cheesecake off my butt" emoticon

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