OOLALA53   34,979
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interesting calorie requirement claims

Monday, November 08, 2010

I recently bought a newly-released program that purports to show what the best cosmetic proportions are for women and that talks about calorie requirements for weight loss and weight maintenance. The program is called The Venus Index. It was probably a mistake to get it, as I have a ton of workout videos and such that I never use, but it does have a prescribed progressive program, and I did have good results using such a program several years ago, but it was an online membership that was even more expensive and I'm pretty sure I need to use gym machines for that. For this, I don't.

Also, I want to be sure you know I am in NO WAY recommending this program. I am simply telling you a bit of what I have learned. I think this information is not only found here, either.

One of the interesting points that seems obvious but good to be reminded of is that being overweight doesn't mean that a person is overeating presently, but that she had to have overeaten at some time in the near or distant past at least, and has not presently created enough of a calorie deficit to overcome it. Possibly a harsh truth, but nevertheless... They also claim that you cannot be eating too few calories for your metabolism, if your body weight is too high, but that you may need a minimum number ON AVERAGE, not every day, for essential nutrients.

Even 15 extra pounds of muscle accounts for only 70-90 extra calorie use a day. The truth is that the MAJORITY of individual women, but not all, of course, of a given height have roughly the same weight of lean body mass, no matter how much fat they carry. Fat uses even fewer calories than muscle, so the difference in need is not changed much by being heavier. The other determiner of calorie need is activity. Most women of the same height will need roughly the same number of calories for essential nutrients a day no matter how fat, thin, or even muscular they are. The exceptions are just that, only a few percentage points of the population.

The authors believe that the best way to achieve a desirable body is to use mostly resistance exercise (to shape the muscle) performed in a way that improves conditioning at the same time, rather than long bouts of cardio. They believe that it is easier to reduce calorie consumption than to exercise fat off, since a cardio workout that accounts for 500 calorie usage is pretty substantial and removes only about 2 ounces of fat.

That is their opinion and each individual would have to answer that for herself.

Here is a link with a bit more info about the program. from this connection, you can do related searches that will get you a lot of free information without buying anything.

/ emoticon www.venusindex.net

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZARAMUNI 11/8/2010 9:18AM

    Hmmmm....my mom is of the same philosphy. She always tells me to go on a drastic diet instead of spend so much time working out. Very interesting point of view, thanks for posting it for us!

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the value of establishing a policy

Saturday, October 02, 2010

This is a long post I put on a thread as an answer to one of our posters who has a consistent problem with eating at her nighttime job as a waitress. The thread is about anti-bingeing, not weight loss, though of course most of us are higher than our normal BMI's.

I think one thing you need to look at is the sheer mental energy you are spending thinking about this. LBF-ers strive to work towards a normal relationship with food. A slim person whose eating is pretty much in line with her energy needs might eat bites of this and that, but I doubt she frets over it a lot beforehand.Then she will FORGET ABOUT IT. Before you eat something, think: am I hungry? (Sorry, not do I want it? I don't believe you can conquer food by eating it because you want it. I don't mean we can never have luscious foods we want--you know that by previous posts-- but we've already seen that the body can fool us about what we want.) And also think: will I be able to enjoy this and then let it go and focus on what I need to do now? And is this the best use of my mental energy right now? Do I need to focus now on a needed eating event? I know this sounds like I am increasing the mental energy, but it will likely take only about 10 of these experiences before it is more routine. As it is now, you wonder and dicker a lot. This is torture! Find a way out.

I think you will come to the conclusion that often it's not worth it to eat, especially if it's just because the food is there. In our society, we must conquer this desire to eat because food is there. For millions of years, it was very smart of humans to eat because food was there. Now, it's become a nuisance, and a drain on mental energy and plain old self-trust. Not to mention on our health and vitality.

Here is a quote from an article publish by MIT by Richard A. Muller, a physicist who lost weight. "Anybody can lose weight. Energy is conserved. Just stop scratching that itch. [the desire to eat] Of course, you'll have to sacrifice instant gratification. Is it worth it? You decide. Food is delicious and cheap. You might reasonably choose to take advantage of this unique historical circumstance, and decide to be fat." I would exchange "lose weight" with "manage our eating." And I would add, "or decide I just want to eat whatever I want, whenever I want and have the body that produces". And if I don't want that, I have to decide just how I am going to manage eating. This is the real question!. There is no other way!

I firmly believe in compartmentalizing eating events, meaning have MEALS, a specific eating event where you concentrate on eating and have a beginning, middle, and end of the event. Same for snacks, if you choose to eat them. The problems with bites of this and that is that we eat much more when we don't have a way of SEEING at once what we are eating. (In Mindless Eating, it was reported that people who ate wings at a restaurant ate many fewer if the plate they put the bones on was not taken away. This was true whether the people were thin or fat. They had a visual reminder of what they had eaten and chose to stop.) And we don't fully register it as a satisfying eating event when we graze. There is more than just calories in being sated.

It's also a problem because it increases the time we spend thinking about food. One of our problems with food is that it dominates our lives and one way it does is by our constantly allowing ourselves the option of eating. We must find a way to put food in its place, or A place. Of course, I do not mean with severe calorie cutting. I think having food in its very important place is why having three meals a day with no snacking (except beverages) has worked so well for me. I concentrate on having pleasurable, satisfying meals, and then the option of eating is OUT at all other times. When I am doing this consistently, thoughts of food in between meals just recede. If they come, I can easily divert from them. It's not time for food! It's time to work or read or clean or whatever else there is to do in life. I enjoy food more and I enjoy the rest of my life more! Reggie eats more often, but she has a food plan. She can choose to include rich foods or not, but if it's not in the plan, she doesn't have it. This is not about deprivation or punishment or being good or being bad. It is about putting food in its place as a source of nutrition and LIMITED pleasure AND about conserving your mental energy for other things. We've got to learn to stop bingeing on thoughts about food as well as on food itself!

This eating at work seems to be your real area of battle. Conquering this is going to give you a lot of bang for your buck. I think you need to decide on a policy and stick with it. 1) Have a good meal with enough variety, including fat, before work and then don't eat there, nothing, not even a stick of celery. That just perpetuates the eating response. Or, 2) decide you will have a snack at work because you can't eat enough before work not to get hungry. Have one eating event, and eat anything you want on a plate, including limiting it any way you want. Sit down and enjoy every bite. Or 3) graze all night WITHOUT GUILT OR RECRIMINATION. Any of these is a better option than what is happening now, don't you think? (Gosh, I hope I am not being high and mighty! You did ask!)

By the way, Muller said when he cut down on his eating, he grew to really like the feeling of getting really hungry for his meals. He doesn't eat more at the meals because he is hungry. He said he feels like he floats now rather than walks. (He didn't increase his exercise!) He maintains easily because he doesn't eat so much or so often that he isn't in that state of being very full very often. If we eat all the time, it's hard to get that feeling and learn to appreciate it! Learning to really cherish the peace and contentment of not bingeing and eventually not overeating is the real antidote. I believe it is what we are longing for and it is worth every white-knuckle moment.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRICIALICI 10/5/2010 1:35PM

    Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!

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LINDAB111 10/3/2010 10:23AM

    You have obviously given this a lot of thought, and expressed those thoughts very well in this blog. I'm going to save this posting and reread it when I'm having a hard time controlling my binging. Thanks for the motivation.
Have you thought about writting a book?

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SAMI199 10/2/2010 8:04PM

    What an insightful,informative blog...thank-you for all the time & energy you put into it. Very Helpful.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/2/2010 8:05:29 PM

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OOLALA53 10/2/2010 4:52PM

    Yes! I think when a person concentrates on healthy living, she must take into account all life-affirming activity, which goes beyond food and exercise. It includes developing skills and interests, tending to good friendships and family/love relationships, dealing with career/work issues, and other facets. If someone had supported and schooled you on such things years ago, they might have instructed you on how not to be dwelling on food in either of your previous stages. Personally, I think it is one of the missing links. I'm glad Spark helped you with that, as I have gotten all my ideas on this outside of it. I wish I could remember the name of a book I read on a weight loss program back east somewhere in which they spend a good deal of time asking the patients to focus on what else was important to them in life besides food and how they were going to take action in those areas after they got back home.

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JERIBERI1 10/2/2010 4:13PM

    While I've never been a binge eater, when I was in my 20s, I was anorexic. I spent a lot of time thinking about food, only I thought about NOT eating it. Most of my day was spent thinking about food and how to avoid eating. When I got below 100 lbs, I quit weighing myself. I think I eventually got to around 85 lbs or so. When I realized that I had a problem, I had to think about food even more. I had to worry about eating it. It was tough!! And 10 years ago when I was actually overweight, I still thought about food!! When I joined Spark 2 years ago (almost 3 years now), I still thought about food. I worried that I would slip back into my anorexic mindset. And at first I felt myself going that way. In the last year and a half, I've finally developed a healthy relationship with food. My thoughts turned from weight loss to healthy living. When I made that switch, my relationship with food became normal again. Now I eat basically what I want, and I stay active. For me, that is the key to healthy living.

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out of whack

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I thought I could use my birthday as a turning point for getting back on track with my eating, and had been happy that my weight had stabilized at the lowest point it has been in the last two years, but my eating is off and I am back up. I didn't put the cake away from my birthday party on Sunday, and ended up eating two good-sized pieces when I wasn't even hungry yesterday. Not the end of the world, but it kept me from feeling comfortable in my body for the rest of the day.

Here, I had had wonderful friends come to my party-- so much love, but I find myself bummed by some of the pictures of myself. I am exasperated, too, I know, because I invited a new man to my party and I'm sorry now. I think he sees me more as a friend than a possible romantic partner and I'm avoiding pinning him down about it because I don't really want to face it. I can't blame him for any of it, as it isn't as if he is obligated to declare his intentions after 7 weeks of knowing me, and he has been very kind and kept his word regarding phone calls and plans, for the most part. I wish I could be grateful that he enjoys talking to me so much. We spend hours together or on the phone so easily, but I saw at the party that he had just as easy a time with everybody! He also gave me what I would call a cousin-ish kiss hello and good-bye. But, alas, I am attracted to him, and my negative side is plying me with thoughts that I don't deserve the romantic attention of someone smart, funny, and handsome. It is hard to have faith in the face of present reality. I'm also disappointed because I thought I was going to have a boyfriend for some of my time off--the next two weeks! Actually, he said he will call on Wed. (has doctor/dentist/class stuff today) and figure something out for us to do for fun, but I'm not even sure I should do it, as it is hard to be with him and not wish for something more! I know a person might not know for sure that you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone after 7 weeks. I ain't asking for that. but I think a man knows at that point if he wants to pursue a romantic relationship and he acts accordingly, esp. if the woman seems amenable, no? He didn't find out about my birthday until that day because I had been on the fence about telling him about it and asking him to my party until last Friday. Then he was out of town and says he didn't see my email inviting him until Sunday the day of the party, but he came for it, driving down an hour and back. However, he did not even stop and get me a card! never mind flowers. I know he's on unemployment right now, but really, if a man has feelings for a woman, wouldn't he be at least slightly stupid with money trying to impress her on her birthday? I mean, you can get a card and a small bouquet for 15 mucks! And he didn't try to stay late. But he did call me yesterday (the day after) twice, including a 3-hour phone call at night! I'm thinking he's a little lonely, he knows he likes me, I'm mentally healthy, unlike his last girlfriend, and he might be wishing he did feel more for me. I have definitely been on the other end of that, hoping I would get excited about a man down the line because there were so many right things about him. It never happened, even after I gave it a shot for a year or more. I try now to be honest with myself and the man very quickly now. I think I need to set more limits on the phone calls and long dates with this guy. I had been allowing longer times than I normally would because he lives an hour away, but I'm getting too caught up in the desire. Just like I need to limit food for my own good, I need to limit my exposure to this man. I think I've got to hold out for a man whose feelings are mutual, just like I need to hold out for getting hungry for pleasurable, moderate meals of a balance of luscious and nutritious food. I've also got to take responsibility for filling my life with other important activities besides eating right and finding a life partner. What if I never get thin or get a committed relationship? Will my life have been a failure? In my worst moments, I think so, but I know in my heart, I don't believe that-or I don't want to. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KITTY1 9/29/2010 7:05AM

    Well, I have been down this path so many times in my life that reading your post was like reading something I would write! Remember, He's just not that into you? If Buddy is not aiming in the direction of wanting to offer you a touch of affection or a real hug, it ain't there, and I would move on if you are looking for more than that from him. That does not mean that you can't see him as a friend, but call a spade a spade!

Then again, who am I to say? I dragged an old lover home last week and alas, I am on the lover treadmill again! Til the love of my life comes along. I am crazy about this guy, but he is not crazy about me....or we would be moving in that direction, right? So I am grounded about this and accept its limitations and simply don't go into the fantasy of us together in future. I am living in my 24 hours and accept it for what it is.

Have a great day and Happy Belated Birthday, You!
Ta, Reggie

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MEADSBAY 9/28/2010 9:09PM

    Geez- you are in a tough spot!
Hope everything happens the way it has to happen and you are at peace with it.

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OOLALA53 9/28/2010 5:14PM

    Thank you for the lovely responses. I know I have a lot going for me no matter what happens with this man. Love is very important, but life is bigger than romantic love, and I'm here to respect the every day present moments of my life, for they are my real life, not the one in my head. Off for a walk! emoticon

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SLENDERELLA61 9/28/2010 4:58PM

    Birthdays can be a trap in more ways than one, even when there isn't an interesting-smart-attractive-charmi
ng man driving you crazy with cousin-ish kisses and three hour phone calls!! Shake off the eating (I'm doing that today, too - darn I did it again (burp!!) and focus on making yourself feel good and healthy and whole!

Reread the advice you wrote to yourself. Clearly, you know what you need. You can do it!! Great blog! Much insight, here! I sense you are getting stronger every day!!

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SIMPLE_IS_BEST 9/28/2010 1:50PM

    You are a beautiful person, inside and out, so don't be so hard on yourself. No life is a failure if you've got friends, right?

As for the guy, the men I know rarely even think about getting people cards. I could see about the flowers or some gift, but then if he only found out about your party at the last minute and had such a long drive, maybe he just didn't think about it or thought he didn't have time to get you something. So don't sweat that, at least he came to your party.

I think it would be okay to ask him straight out how he feel about you. It's better than torturing yourself by wondering and guessing, but never really knowing. Or if you don't feel comfortable asking him his feelings, then tell him yours. Tell him you really like him and want your relationship with him to be more than just one of friendship. See what his reaction is. I think you'll be happier to get things out in the open and stop the guessing games. Chances are he feels the same about you. In my limited past experiences (been married 12 years so it's been awhile) a man doesn't pay much attention to a woman (talking on the phone for hours, going to your birthday party, etc) unless he is interested in romance. If a man just wants to be "friends" you're not going to usually see all that much of him or have very long phone conversations. That's my experience anyway.

Tell him how you feel. And if by some chance he doesn't feel the same, well, at least you will know and can move on with your life. Be brave! It's better to know.

By the way, happy birthday!


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link to a No S success story

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

In case you're interested in how a young woman with BED was able to turn her situation around with the help No S, as well as some other influences:


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LZACCARIA 10/2/2010 11:36AM

    I was thinking of tweaking my personal "no S" to be no snacking. That means I can have one desert per day and be conscious about that dessert. I also feel things like fruit, veggies, cheesesticks etc can be considered healthy mini meals and arent part of what I would call a snack for myself. I definately need something in the afternoon to keep my hunger at bay while I drive home from work so I dont turn into dunkin donuts or devour the refrigerator before getting dinner ready. Thanks so much for the NO S link. emoticon

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CARISSA81 7/8/2010 10:53AM

    Oh, I get it! Sounds like a reasonable plan,not sure if it would work for me. I like to stay on track weekends too if I can, but I have a pretty random work schedule too. I love when people find something that works for them though, thanks for sharing!

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DAWN_B 7/7/2010 10:55PM

    thank you! It's lovely to hear success stories!

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OOLALA53 7/7/2010 5:34PM

    No worries! I thought I probably should have defined it when I put in the link. BED stands for Binge Eating Disorder.

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TB20101949 7/7/2010 11:35AM

  At the risk of sounding "uninformed", what is BED???

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DAWNDMOORE40 7/7/2010 1:27AM


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building a legacy...

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

i write this as a way to deal with the continued urges to eat way more than I am hungry for in restaurants and in social food-sharing situations.

Let me preface this by saying that I believe if we are eating moderate amounts of food consistently-meaning we have no real deficit reason to need more food--, we can learn to withstand just about any triggers for bingeing, eventually for months and years at at time, and even forever. I do still give in to strong urges, but I don't believe it's because it's not possible to say no. My first 6 solid months of eating 3 moderate meals a day most weekdays--no snacking, sweets, or second helpings of anything-are a good start, but it's the next 18 months that are going to seal the deal.

That being said, simple overeating at meals has been shown to be correlated to later bingeing in those who do binge. It's counter intuitive, but so is lots of what goes on with compulsive eating. If that helps anyone next time she is in a situation where she needs incentive to refrain from getting too full, it will have been worth preaching about. It is worth the process of learning how much is enough to satisfy without being too little or too much. In fact, without that, we will never be at peace with food or our bodies.

I really think the urges to eat at unnecessary times will subside, but it may take longer than we think, and there might be some strong breezes of them for longer than that. Please don't take it as a sign that we are doing the wrong thing. I was never a heavy smoker, having not started until I was 25 and only going a few months at a time even smoking every day, even going months at a time without smoking until I finally quit at age of 27, but for YEARS afterwards, certain situations would bring on the urge to smoke. These habits are not only chemically induced from the outside; to some degree, they have a life of their own within the brain. And our "minds" will often cooperate by producing thoughts to continue the process. BUT THEY ARE BASICALLY HABITS. And humans can make new habits. Keep using whatever thinking and behavior has let us ignore those urges and that will become our default way of living. It is like turning a supersonic jet in the air. The pilot has to make very small changes in direction and long arcs to do it. Even if we are just at the beginning of our arc, it is worth staying with it. Younger women will have decades to enjoy the fruits. So will their children. Moderation, time between meals to get hungry, unattachment to food and harsh body criticism, savoring of many flavors and textures without overeating: This is a great legacy we are building now to share with our peers and pass on to our daughters. I doubt there is a more important time in history to make this central. More on the connection to future generations another time. emoticon


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRISHP1961 7/1/2010 5:41PM

    Your blog was so helpful! Thanks for your insight.

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DKWP614 7/1/2010 1:58PM

    Ah, you are a very wise women! All things in moderation; and always remember just who is in control. I choose, food and cravings and ineffective habits do not choose for me.

And its true, sometimes, an Oreo cookie - or three - tastes realllllllly good. But I can stop at three!

Have a Happy Weekend.
Diana Kathryn

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BIJOUX7 7/1/2010 9:57AM

  I so agree with you about food becoming a "habit". These food habits - lattes to stay awake, comfort foods (cheetos and other crap) were common place in grad school. I gained a lot of weight and it has taken me a year to get back into my workout schedule and eating clean. Teaching kids to have healthy attitudes towards food and their bodies is a wonderful gift to pass on.

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JOL1KEY2BOL3 6/30/2010 10:34PM

    Oolala, I definitely agree that "habit" is the key and changing years of "habits" can be done...We have to resist the urges, but if we do give in, then we have to go back immediately to the good habits. The good habits are "our way of life" now and not the old habits (urges) that we may have given into. I also love the "Act as if" mantra...

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GONNA_BREAKAWAY 6/30/2010 7:59PM

  Thank you for this blog!

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