Friday, October 17, 2014
Yikes! We are midway through the month and I thought I'd let you know how I was doing on those goals I set up.
I had really good intentions in setting up those goals and didn't think they were that crazy or difficult. Boy was I wrong Change IS difficult. It is ok for a brief moment - but maintaining it is the hard part.
I am asking for help and suggestions on obtaining/maintaining some of my goals!
1. Sleep - I was shooting for 8 hours sleep a night. I did well with that on the weekends. I did poorly on that during the week. I averaged 6-7 hours a night on weeknights. This is what I find is happening. I get home from work at 6pm. I change my clothes, make dinner, eat dinner, clean up the kitchen, read my mail, hop on the treadmill for an hour -it is now 8:30. Shower (cuz I am a sweaty mess after the treadmill), sit down to watch some tv. After an hour of tv, I am not ready to go to bed. I am wide awake. I tried turning off the tv and going to bed, but I just toss and turn for a couple hours. In fact, I find it takes me longer to fall asleep than when I stay up an hour longer! I have tried soothing music, reading in bed, meditation - my mind is still going and is NOT ready to stop yet! I thought after a couple weeks of doing this I would adjust, but it hasn't happened yet!
I have met this goal an average of 3 nights a week out of 7. Less than 50%. I am gong to continue to try to get my body to adjust.
2. Water. I have been doing great with the water. I get at least 8 glasses in a day. Yippee! A success!
3. Soda. I was shooting to limit my soda to one a day. For the most part I have met that goal. I had three days where I had more than one per day. So This one is well on its way to being met!
4. Breakfast. I was going to try to eat a breakfast at home in the morning before going to work instead of grabbing a protein bar at work. Again, I do well on this one on the weekends, but the work week has pretty much been protein bars and fruit. I have not been able or perhaps I should say willing - to get up earlier and make a breakfast before work. I continue to not be a morning person! This goal is far from being met!
5. Purging cupboards. I did purge my cupboards of all the things that cause me to want to binge eat. I pretty much have some canned goods, some whole grain pasta and a few other things in there. No chips, no oreos, no chocolate. This goal has been met!
6. Whole foods. I was trying to eat more whole foods and avoid processed foods. I am doing better in this. I have cooked more - however I am finding just because the healthy foods are there, doesn't mean I am eating them. I have had a couple nights each week where I either had meetings after work, or something scheduled that caused me to eat out instead of eating my healthy options at home. Positive - I have made better choices while eating out and have not fallen for the alfredo pasta yet!
7. Table. I was going to eat only at my kitchen table - however, I have found myself more than half of the time eating in front of the tv watching the news as I ate. This one is a work in progress. Eating at the table alone staring out the window really isn't something I enjoy!
8. Morning walk. It is much easier for me to meet my step goal if I walk a couple miles in the morning before work. However with the season change, the temps are cooler and it is now dark in the morning - as in DARK! I find myself reaching for the snooze button. I feel tired and I don't wanna! I would say the snooze button has won out 70% of the time! This one needs improvement.
9. Journal. Yep, it sounded good, but it isn't happening. I keep my food log and my exercise log- but any other journaling just isn't happening. My free time during the week is limited and I haven't wanted to spend it journaling.
10. 3 positive things. I was going to blog these - but I haven't. In fact this one totally fell by the wayside! However, I need to do this to keep myself motivated and in a positive space. Sooooo, I will be working on this one!
11. Scale. Uh, no. I have been on the scale more than I should. I get obsessed about lots of things = mostly that involve numbers. For some silly reason I feel I can control numbers. So after hopping on the scale tomorrow morning for my challenge I am going to try harder NOT to get on until the following Saturday morning. Positive side - I am not getting on the scale multiple times a day! So obsession hasn't totally taken over.
Wow, I thought these were somewhat easy goals and I am seeing that I have much work to do on reaching many of them. amazing how we can think we are doing everything we should be - until we take a closer look!
Thursday, October 09, 2014
Please give me the strength to stay out of the work kitchen today. It Thursday - which means Panera Bread bagels and cookies in the kitchen. As if that isn't bad enough, one of the people here brought in a fresh baked pumpkin roll, fresh, warm donuts and cider from one of the local orchard markets.
There is this illusive thing called moderation which I have yet to figure out. I know if I go in there to have a piece of a donut, or a piece of that pumpkin roll, the remaining piece or pieces will follow, which will lead me to wanting a cookie because I already screwed up with the piece of whatever. I know that isn't the way I SHOULD think - but that is where my head goes and it is quite relentless. No matter how much I tell it to chill out, it persists until I just give in.
Because I know this about myself, I went out for a walk this lunch hour. On my way back, I stopped by the orchard and bought a small bag of apples - which are now in my office. Yummy, crisp fall apples. Not a donut or cookie - but yummy in their own way. Nothing quite like the first apples of fall!
In the mean time I am doing the avoidance thing - just keeping my butt out of that kitchen no matter what! Taking the long way around to go to the lobby. Although I did cave and walk in their to get a cold vitamin water zero. It's almost time to go home. I almost made it!
A small part of me is feeling deprived. Another part of me is thinking that I walked some extra steps today taking the long way around! Maybe someday I will learn the art of moderation, but that day is not today and a free for all in the kitchen would only bring me feelings of shame and guilt and take me further from my goal.
I may not have the moderation thing down, but the voice of reason is getting a little stronger!!!
Hopefully by tomorrow most of the treats are gone and day old treats aren't nearly as tempting. In the meantime, I will keep praying for strength to stay on my path and not fall to those temptations!
Thursday, October 02, 2014
I like to think I am an honest person. When I do something wrong I own up to it. Sometimes I'd like to hide, but I have learned that it is easier to own up to it and move on!
I have posted blogs about my struggles with my eating habits. I am honest about the poor choices I made. Yesterday as part of my "plan" for the first week of October, I purged my kitchen of all the foods I shouldn't have there.
I vowed no foods would be off limits when I started this journey. I don't like the idea of "good" foods and "bad" foods - because I tend to like bad, just because I can! I have a tendency to want to experience "bad" things. It goes way back in my childhood. If we were told not to go somewhere, I just had to peek and see what that was all about! I learned lots of things the hard way. I was the child that had to touch the hot stove to believe it was really hot and would hurt me.
So, back to the kitchen purging, I had my bags out.... one for a friend with young kids, one for the food pantry and the trash can. I emptied the cupboards one shelf at a time and carefully thought about each item I was placing back in them - would it help keep me on my path to my goal? It was pretty easy with the cans of veggies and soups, but then I got to the pancake mix, the brownie mix, the pasta and mac & cheese, the chocolate, the chips ...
This little voice in my head said "don't give that away, you should keep it for when your son or the grandkids visit", "oh, that's their favorite", "you will just be back at the store buying it again next week"...
Where did THAT come from? That little voice that lies to me and gets me to believe it? Oh wait, that little voice is coming from me!
Yep, I lie to myself. I do it all the time. "Go ahead and hit the snooze, you can get ready in 30 minutes".... only to have me frantically trying to get out the door and to work on time. "Go ahead buy the Oreos. The kids love them. You can eat three each day and build it into your calorie count. You deserve it. After all, there are NO bad foods"... which leads me to strategically placing them in the back of the cupboard where no one will know they are there and me eating not three, but all three rows in one sitting. I KNOW I cannot eat three Oreo's right now- maybe someday, but not today! "It's ok to make poor food choices when eating out, after all you are paying for the food, you should eat what you love"... which only makes it harder to make those right choices next time! I always tell myself it will be ok, I will get it together tomorrow. After all, it's ok not to be perfect, right?
Silly part? I believe the lies I tell myself. In fact, at the time, sometimes they actually sound like a good idea. I can rationalize my way into some pretty crazy things! Sad part? The lies I tell myself take me further from what I really want! They lead me to believe those thoughts of
"I will NEVER get there" - which lead me to throw in the towel. They lead me to feel shame and guilt.
Yep, I'm getting to understand myself a little better! Soooooo, for the first week in October, I will be honest with myself. I know sometime I will make the decision to eat something I probably shouldn't - but I will be honest with myself about it.
Anyone else done this? Are you doing this? How did you get beyond it?
I am going to try to make more rational choices. I am going to ask myself one question. Will this take me closer or further from my goal? I am going to try my best to be honest with my answer!
Yep, this is MY journey. Lying to myself serves no real purpose.
Wednesday, October 01, 2014
So I have felt that the past few months I have been floundering. I even got out the dictionary and looked up the word flounder. Of course the noun refers to the fish. Then there were the other meanings, none of which I really wanted to claim as relating to me: to struggle to move or obtain footing: thrash about wildly; to proceed to act clumsily or ineffectually. Yep, that has been me.
I made a decision. No more floundering in October. No more thrashing about wildly! What wasted energy! I have lost and gained the same 15 pounds for about 6 months. My healthy eating habits are not habits! They get tossed by the wayside when cravings strike. It is time to move on from that pattern.
I decided this time to make a plan. Not only to make a plan, but to implement it. I looked long and hard at the areas I struggle and it is mainly with food. I have managed to get the exercise worked into a daily routine, but I also have managed to negate my wonderful workouts with poor food choices.
Soooooo, plan? Me make a plan? I am not an in the box, follow the routine sort of girl. However, free thinking got me to where I am. It is time to try something new.
Here's the plan - I am breaking it down week by week. It seems easier this way.
So for this first week in October my plan is:
1. To get 8 hours of sleep. Which will mean turning off the tv and going to bed at an earlier time. If I am well rested, I will be less apt to want to hit that snooze button and sink my morning workout AND I will have time to eat a healthy breakfast.
2. Drink all my water BEFORE I have a soda. I am not sure I want to live a soda free lifestyle, but I certainly would like to limit my soda intake and get it to be much less than what it is. I drink diet soda. I am not a coffee or tea drinker. Soda is my only beverage other than water and an occasional juice. Week one, I am going to drink all my water (8 glasses) before I have a soda.
3. Limit soda to one per day (or less).
4. EAT breakfast. I am a good one to get up, get on the treadmill, get my workout in, shower and rush out the door to work - only to be tempted by the smells of toasting bagels and a growling stomach. I usually have protein bars in my desk - but a protein bar for breakfast every day is not my best option and it sure is no match for those toasting bagels! I am going to allow myself enough time to eat breakfast before I leave home - or to bring a breakfast to work with me.
5. Purge the cupboards. Yep, that's gonna be a tough one. I hate to get rid of food. I know what my trigger foods are and there are some in my house. They have to go. So tonight after work, I will be purging my cupboards. Oh and by purging my cupboards, I don't mean eating all those things that are in there - I mean giving it away to someone who will use it or throwing it away. Throwing it away? No, I am not going to feel guilty about that. OK, well maybe I will (I struggle with guilt) - but not as guilty as I will feel if I eat all that stuff!
6. Stick with whole foods as much as possible. I am changing my shopping habits. Instead of shopping the local grocery on the corner near my house, I am going to drive a little further and shop the market a couple miles away that carries mainly fresh produce, meats and healthier options. Yep, it will cost a little more than the corner grocery - but I will spend less money by not buying all the junk food I don't need. I have said this before - but have never actually stuck with it!
7. Eat at my kitchen table. What? I haven't done that in years! No more food in the living room or eating out of the pan over the kitchen sink or stove. That is where I get myself into trouble. So for the first week I will reacquaint myself with my kitchen table, my dishes and good silverware! Yep, my meals are going to be eaten like meals.
8. Stick with my workout routine of walking every morning before work, add to that strength training three times a week. I have enough new things to master in the food department, so going to somewhat keep the workout the same in the beginning. I seem to have this routine somewhat mastered.
9. Journal daily. Journal food, journal workouts, journal my emotions.
10. Blog three positive things I accomplished each day (I may post them in the morning from the day before). I can get hung up on what I didn't accomplish - I need to focus on what I am accomplishing! Even if it is something small, I need to acknowledge it. Sometimes it is those small things that really are bigger than we think!
11. No getting on the scale except for my 5% challenge weigh ins. No looking every day, no rewards or punishment for numbers on the scale. It is not about the number on the scale! (I am having a hard time with this one.)
This should get me on my way. Getting back to the basics where I was when I first started this journey that seem to have gotten lost along the way.
I will check back with you all at the end of next week to let you know how I am doing! I now have a roadmap for the first few steps in this journey.
One foot in front of the other, once choice at a time, here we go!
Get An Email Alert Each Time ONTHEPATH2 Posts