Sunday, April 29, 2012
Not everyone is perfect, yeah even us One Woman USO's have a little secret or two. There is always that something that we wish we could handle better, change about our selves or situations, do better, switch, fix, etc... and this blog is all about those tricks of the trades and learning to embrace yourself and love you for who you really are!
With that said here's to one of my imperfections:
From birth until present, I was plagued with "an extra ten pounds." My mother would always tell me it was "baby fat" and it will even out as my body matures. This did not happen. I was always on the slightly taller side for my age, but was put down for my "chubbiness" as a little child. With the frequent name calling of "thunder thighs" by my father and my grandmother saying "no man will ever marry a fat woman"...it was a hard knock life being chubby.
In high school, I sorta thinned out, but not really. I was no 100lbs like all the rest of the cheerleaders. I was the "chubby" cheerleader at a mean 145lbs - 160lbs (it varied, you know). I was highly active though, cheer, drama, show choir, volunteer, etc... Late junior year, I started to notice that I was getting migraines and having really terrible mood swings and was so extremely fatigued, I was taking a nap almost everyday.
I went on to college and throughout the course of six years, three degrees and three boyfriends, I gained and lost and gained and lost and gained and lost, over and over again about 90lbs. That was a huge amount of weight that my body could not seem to keep off no matter what even if though I had been exercising 3 times a day or cheerleading my heart out for my scholarship. My boyfriends were not supportive of this weight gain either (for they all met me at my slenderest part.) and they did not appreciate the sudden ballooning affect to which they would say something to the effect of: "I was perfect, except I had a few pounds that's all."
Last year, I was happily married and working as an Registered Nurse and you guessed still a little over weight. I wasn't feeling well about it, so I went to talk to my doctor. "She thought I just gained the freshmen 15, only I gained the freshmen 50." That's when I explained but I knew this had been going on way longer than before college. I insisted my blood panels to be checked. I informed her about my fatigue and migraines that all of a sudden had come back into my life and all about my families history of obesity and thyroid problems/diseases.
Sure enough after all the blood work was complete, I had been dealing with hypothyroidism for the past decade. After all those times I was mean to my body and starved it thinking I was too fat? Can we say poor body image? All the time my family members, boyfriends or peers said hurtful, mean words to me about my weight, I was dealing with a disease that I could not control?
Things are not always what they seem. I may look fat, but it does not define me. I am not lazy, nor do I not take care of myself. It is because of my genes that I look this way and I accept this is how the good Lord wanted me to be.
Now, I am helping others who are struggling with acceptance too, because it is a struggle.
On my page: "we motivate, accelerate and celebrate life." You are not alone.
Please, come join me and I'll share my on-line cook-book with you and we can motivate each other along our journey. It is not all about weight, it is about life!
Oh, Yes We Can: