Saturday, January 01, 2011
I have resolved to loose weight, but it is NOT a New Year's Resolution. Have you noticed how many of those fail? There is a huge difference between making a resolution because you are ready and anxious to get going on it, and making one because tradition and the calendar say you should.
I used to tell myself that the only time I successfully lost weight was on Phen-Fen but that is not quite true. I did loose on Phen-Fen but I also worked hard at it and never gave myself credit. The drugs made it easier (easy, actually) to control portions, but I was in charge of food choices and exercise and did really well. But there have been 2 other times I managed my eating without pharmaceutical help.
Both times I was pregnant, I was the queen of good nutrition. When I was pregnant with my twins, my doctor advised me to avoid weight gain for 6 months because I was overweight (around 200 lbs at that time). I increased my fruits & veggies, decreased my fats, and ended up not gaining for 5 months. I was back to pre-pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of delivery. I did NOT diet, I just ate better and continued while I was breast feeding. But not a minute more! Similar deal with my next pregnancy 5 years later, except my weight was higher because I didn't take as much care of myself as I was able to do for me plus babies.
This time, I need a new hip. My doctor won't do the surgery unless I'm under 300 lbs, so my goal is to reach 295. My deadline is June, with a check in in March. To be honest, I'm not doing this to be more attractive, or even to be more healthy. I'm in pain. All day. Every day. Pain that meds don't touch, at least not in quantities that allow me to think and speak coherently and do my work. So I guess you could say once again I'm not really doing this for me, I'm doing it for my pain.
I'll be that honest with myself. I'm doing this for "another" again. I hope that after the surgery I'll be motivated to loose another 30 just for me. I'm 49, using a cane, considering a walker, and learning a lot about humility. I'm looking forward to the other lessons I know I'll be learning in the next 6 months!