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Decision Made

Friday, August 26, 2011

After much lost sleep, excess calories and soul searching, I turned down the new job offer this afternoon. What it boiled down to was flexibility to care for my husband at my current job and the unfortunate convergence of paying for 2 months of COBRA along with 3 consecutive months of insurance deductibles if I made a switch now. The risk just felt too great if either of us had a medical emergency (not uncommon for us) and the timing not quite right.

When I called the new company to decline, the manager said all the right things but I could tell she was quite angry. Kind of a "how dare you turn us down" vibe. Made me unsure I'd want to work for her and I felt better about my decision. At least that's what I'm telling myself. I talked to my mom & a close friend & they both said they could understand my reasoning--and I think both would tell me if they thought I was being ridiculous. But, man oh man, I hate walking away from much needed cash.

I am going to follow up by asking to meet with our CEO to discuss pay equity. My supervisor spoke with him today and CEO had the impression I had applied for the new job to leverage him. Not the case and I need to clear that up. Supposedly he's willing to consider raising my pay to be equal with my co-workers (especially the one I have to help on a regular basis!). If he does, great. If not, that will be something to remember in a year or so after my youngest daughter is launched and I'm able to sell my house. If and when I go, I'll be certain it's the right thing and right time.

I'm going to enjoy finally getting a good night's sleep tonight. Tomorrow I'll try to catch up on all the work I didn't get done during this uproar AND get back on track to exercise & eat better...

Thanks y'all!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GETSTRONGRRR 8/26/2011 9:04PM

    Good decision....keep at it...keep looking out for and valuing yourself like that and you'll get recognized by your leadership

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BLACKROSE_222 8/26/2011 1:21PM

    Congrats on making the choice.

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COUTURELADY 8/26/2011 11:16AM

    What an amazing set of decisions and choices! You have done the right thing for your family and I applaud you! Cheers to you lady! emoticon

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    BRAVO DIANE!!! emoticon

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Don't know what to do, have to make decision

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

I have an enviable problem. I have a job AND I have a job offer--that comes with a $7/hr raise. And I don't know what to do.

There are frustrations with my current job, mostly with irrational and unresponsive upper management plus low pay, but I really do love what I do and where I do it. I applied for new job on the spur of the moment after being invited by a former co-worker who is now a manager for a competing company. I interviewed Monday & they offered me the job yesterday.

The down side of the new job's new. There's change. Longer commute. I'll have to do some serious math to figure out if their health insurance is as good or better than what I have. Plus I'll have COBRA and 3 separate deductibles to deal with over the next 6 months. Going without insurance is not an option--one of my husband's meds is $600+/mo and between us we probably have 25 prescriptions. New job will only let me have 120 hours of leave on the books vs 240 where I am now. Since I know I have another hip replacement in my future, that worries me. My commute time would go from 15 minutes 1 way to 30-45 depending on traffic. Oh, and the new job is only 32 hours/week, not the 40 I thought when I applied.

Old job--I am seriously underpaid, even compared to my peers let alone what I could make elsewhere. Management does crazy things like only reimbursing for work-related mileage when they feel like it, and then at the 2005 rate. Yes, I've been trying to get them to correct this for 4 years w/no results. OTOH, my time is completely my own. I needed to leave work early & unexpectedly yesterday because hubby had a melt down and it was perfectly OK. I'm salary and they trust that I'll get my work done. New job, flexible but not like that.

So, I don't know what to do other than try to crunch numbers quickly today. I think the make or break points will be 1) flexibility, given that hubby's Bi-Polar is definitely NOT stable at this point and 2)projected net cost for healthcare. I want to make more $ mostly because I'm drowning in medical bills as it is, no way can I take a higher pay only to have it wiped out by paying more for healthcare. Even with the raise, I'll bring home about the same cash due to being paid for less hours.

Hell, I dunno, what do y'all think?

Oh, and did I mention that I was sufficiently stressed yesterday to stress eat all day and into the night? As in, I was supposed to go get fasting labs drawn this a.m. but can't because I couldn't stop eating.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 8/24/2011 12:26PM

    its not an easy decision. i am at the point were i can't get any promotions (they are paying new people less for these jobs) at my current company (at least not in the current city/state i am living in) and the management bullies people or are overworked.

i do pro con lists that show the "numbers" .. travel time, insurance, benefits, pay and also other items that make a job good or bad.

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BLACKROSE_222 8/24/2011 11:27AM

    It isn't an easy decision, that is for sure. Follow your heart, and how you are feeling. It can't all be about numbers (although with your hubbie's meds, the benefits might be a BIG deal), but also what you want to do. Change is stressful, but it can also be the first step to a real good change.

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ANGELELEMENTS 8/24/2011 10:48AM

  You have lots of reasons to think about. You named most of them though. When I see a job that has a raise, but it's farther away.. i just think that gas is rising and pretty soon that raise? It will just cover my gas for the extra traveling I have to do to get to work.

If you have to say no, that you could politely reject the offer and send them a letter later saying the same thing, BUT if you find a spot where you could finally fit into a new job comfortably you could possibly apply next year? Not sure what you do or what your applying for, so disregard if you can't apply for it next year. Though I know it is frustrating to saythe least, with companies raises being frozen and under pay.

Good luck in your deision I really hope it works out for the best!!

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Went to PT today & learned that I DO still limp. Hmphf! Also learned that I rotate my left foot way inward--no wonder I'm wobbly! He thinks it's all just bad habits from the last 3 years and not anything structural. So, I got an awesome massage of the incision area to loosen things up and a bunch of new exercises.

I'm actually looking forward to it--it's such a pleasure to be getting better after being a little worse every day for so long! I have a prescription for twice a week for a month. AND I'll finally have some fitness time to log here!

Other than that, this week I'll be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get errands done before I go back to work. I also want to try to get a whole body massage. I deserve it!

P.S. Hubby got his tooth pulled yesterday & is going back today for a couple of fillings. They will also return his partial with a new false tooth in it. So glad that's done & he won't have to suffer with mouth pain any more!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUMBELLE 7/16/2011 12:21PM

    I'm doing the same thing with my right hip and leg. i have a noticeable internal rotation, that I'm trying to correct daily during my recovery. I've probably done this for many years, so it's really hard to correct.
Glad that you got some exercises for that. I would be very interested in learning what they are, so that I could incorporate them into my own physio programme at home. Susan

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SRHALLIN 7/13/2011 6:35PM

    Congratulations on your newly found liberty. Exercise has made such a different for me in terms of overall energy levels. I hope it is as kind to you.

And, of course, congratulations to your husband on the near-end to his suffering.

Best wishes to you (both) on your journey to good health and personal happiness!

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Happy but not Gilmore

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Today was a GREAT day! Went to the doctor for my 1st post-op check. I'm a few days shy of 4 weeks, visit was delayed by doctor's vacation. Came home with a printout of the x-ray of my shiny new hip to post on my bulletin board.

He was pleased & visibly surprised by how well I've recovered. We had a deal that he'd operate if I got below 300 lbs, but he still had misgivings about my weight, expected infection & for me to lay around & vegetate. I told him I've always done well with surgery & I'm really motivated to get mobile again--I guess now he believes me!

They took out a last stitch at each end of my incision (yay! those had been driving me nuts) and he told me to ditch the walker & start using a cane. I cannot express how happy that made me! I hated not having a hand free to carry things. 2 more weeks of aspirin (blood thinner) & TED hose & I do still have to do hip precautions for a couple more months.

I got home & tried out one of my canes, a little wobbly to start, but within a few minutes was walking pretty confidently. And for the first time in 3 years, without a limp! He wants me to go back to PT (outpatient this time) to make sure I re-develop a good gait & learn to do bendy things w/out risking dislocation. I've been wondering how to get a sock on without help or tools and still keep that 90* hip angle. Can I dare to dream of tying a shoe again? Getting pretty tired of wearing mules all the time! I expect I'll be sore tomorrow, but still happy.

He also released me to go back to work next week, 5 hrs/day then increase 1-2 hrs/week depending on how tired I get. That should allow me to avoid using any unpaid leave--a major worry off my mind. I'll still have to limit my walking, but I had been doing that before surgery so I don't think my patients will even notice. I've really missed them & my co-workers, heck, just the whole having a routine. And I think I will enjoy my beloved husband more once we're not together 24 hours/day. He'll have a much harder time hovering if I'm at work!

Speaking of hubby, the antibiotics worked & he has survived to get his bad tooth pulled tomorrow. My grandmother is also doing better. She's 97 and I know she will die in the forseeable future, but not last week as we feared. I had enough extra money to send flowers & called Mom every day (she doesn't usually like to talk on the phone) which she appreciated.

I've started logging my food again and set a new weight loss goal. Pain motivated me to start. I'm hoping that avoiding future pain plus reducing my need for prescriptions will motivate me to keep going. Oh, well, and also that I'm on the cusp of being able to buy clothes at department stores again. I've gone from a 5X to a 3X if it's cut generous. I'll never take being able to pop into the store, instead of forced to mail order, for granted again.

Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive--couldn't have made it through all this without you!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PUGRAD1995 7/15/2011 11:30AM

    Sounds so good! I've been using a walker for my back problems and I think I'm going to end up doing PT just to learn how to stand up straight again instead of leaning over too. I remember after my knee surgery when the PT pointed out that I was "wedding marching" (one foot up, then the back one even) instead of walking every other one ahead. You would think you'd know you weren't walking normal-but you don't!

Doing the shorter hours back to work sounds great too! Take care and do not overdo!

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COUTURELADY 7/12/2011 11:24AM

    Awesome sauce! Best of luck to you on your recovery. emoticon

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BLACKROSE_222 7/12/2011 9:55AM

    Hooray! One "step" in the right direction!

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TJHIERS 7/12/2011 8:27AM


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SKYRUNHER 7/12/2011 4:56AM

    congratulations! I'm happy to hear that you are feeling much better.. don't you love it when we surprise doctors in a positive way?

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Tuesday, July 05, 2011

I'm still healing and still frustrated by an assortment of things. Got home and started eating pre-SparkPeople comfort food and lots of it. Had company come last Friday and ate very evil, sodium filled convenience food. Company wanted to get out & do things, so we did and I was on my feet waaay too much. Was about to quit taking pain pills but then had to ramp that up again for a couple of days.

Last time I checked I was up 6 lbs and I'm sure it's more now considering how swollen my poor ankles are. So the good news is, I had several months of unswollen ankles and now I know just how uncomfortable they are since I'm no longer used to it. Which motivates me to get back on track.

However, I'm sort of embarassed to be as focused on "me" as I am. My 1/2 sister had a kidney removed due to cancer 3 mos ago & they just found tumors in her bladder at her check up. She'll have the tumors removed & do chemo, but this is seriously bad news. My Mom called today, freaked out because my grandmother (who has been in a nursing home) has gone into congestive heart failure. My husband has an abcessed tooth that he can't get pulled until next week. Really, what's a swollen ankle, sore hip or diet de-railment in the grand scheme of things? I would like to go home to support my Mom, but have a sick hubby and am not entirely sure me being there wouldn't make things worse for Mom. (She'd worry.)

Work is also being difficult. I had arranged to do some work from home before having surgery. Friday I put in 3 hours and today I had a message asking why I did that... Um, because that's what we agreed and because I want to do as much as I can so there isn't a disaster when I get back?

So. That leaves me with trying to eat healthier, because it's good for me and in turn that's good for everyone around me. And trying to figure out how to be supportive to family from a distance. And collecting my thoughts before talking to people from work so I don't say something I'll regret.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DUMBELLE 7/9/2011 9:49PM

    That's the way life goes sometimes. It doesn't rain, it pours. You have alot on your plate, and my heart goes out to you.
Praying that you will be able to get back on track health wise. You have to look after yourself too!

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SRHALLIN 7/5/2011 8:50PM

    I know we've never spoken/met/or interacted before, but, for what it is worth:

Eating unhealthy foods won't help you, your husband, your sister, your Mother or your Grandmother. In fact, it will only create additional obstacles. (See swollen ankles that are very much unkind to hearts and souls throughout the SP Universe!)

So, lets figure out what we *can* do, today, to make some of this better.

Well, to help you - lets practice looking out our good health as a plus. We're stronger and have more energy, and suffer fewer health problems when we're taking good care of ourselves. That leaves us better able to shoulder the burdens of our loved ones when they are in need.

So, really, putting yourself first is enabling you to be a better person/wife/sister/daughter/grand-d
aughter. Largely because your intent is not to present yourself in a grandiose scheme, but, rather to be a healthier person. So, no need for any guilt there.

For your husband - I recommend rinsing out the abcessed tooth with some No Salt, and following it up with a rinse with Rum (Yes, it is a very versatile and nummy fluid.) and chasing *that* with some Ibuprofen. Since, that is the home remedy I used until last friday when I could get to the dentist; and it worked quite splendidly after the initial pain wore off. - There, someone else we won't have to worry about for more than an hour or so. :)

For your sister, you can't do anything about her illness. But, you can encourage her to eat healthy foods, get exercise, and rest. And of course, tell her how much she means to you and that you're there for her if she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Ah, Mom - yeah... As a parent, I can honestly say there's never going to be a day that she isn't at least a *little* worried about you. But, she will worry less if you are taking care of yourself. So, that's another one in the win column.

You can't always take away fear and pain. You love your mother in the same way that she loves hers (hopefully.) So, if you imagine yourself in her shoes for a moment, her response is very understandable. She won't want to weigh you down either. Parents are like that. But, maybe you can think of what you would need to hear in her position, and give her some relief that way?

Not everything has a solution. But, if one is available to any problem when all hell is breaking loose, that's what I try to focus on. Maybe it will help you, too.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck with your health, and I shall say a prayer for your family as well.

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JILL313 7/5/2011 8:34PM

    Take it easy as you have a lot of issues going on in your life right now. Take a deep breathe and get back of track. Sodium is a hard one for me also as I seem to be way over on my Tracker. You're right to figure out what you want to say to your co-workers as we can't take back our words once they're said. Wishing you and your family all the best.



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