Friday, August 26, 2011
After much lost sleep, excess calories and soul searching, I turned down the new job offer this afternoon. What it boiled down to was flexibility to care for my husband at my current job and the unfortunate convergence of paying for 2 months of COBRA along with 3 consecutive months of insurance deductibles if I made a switch now. The risk just felt too great if either of us had a medical emergency (not uncommon for us) and the timing not quite right.
When I called the new company to decline, the manager said all the right things but I could tell she was quite angry. Kind of a "how dare you turn us down" vibe. Made me unsure I'd want to work for her and I felt better about my decision. At least that's what I'm telling myself. I talked to my mom & a close friend & they both said they could understand my reasoning--and I think both would tell me if they thought I was being ridiculous. But, man oh man, I hate walking away from much needed cash.
I am going to follow up by asking to meet with our CEO to discuss pay equity. My supervisor spoke with him today and CEO had the impression I had applied for the new job to leverage him. Not the case and I need to clear that up. Supposedly he's willing to consider raising my pay to be equal with my co-workers (especially the one I have to help on a regular basis!). If he does, great. If not, that will be something to remember in a year or so after my youngest daughter is launched and I'm able to sell my house. If and when I go, I'll be certain it's the right thing and right time.
I'm going to enjoy finally getting a good night's sleep tonight. Tomorrow I'll try to catch up on all the work I didn't get done during this uproar AND get back on track to exercise & eat better...
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I have an enviable problem. I have a job AND I have a job offer--that comes with a $7/hr raise. And I don't know what to do.
There are frustrations with my current job, mostly with irrational and unresponsive upper management plus low pay, but I really do love what I do and where I do it. I applied for new job on the spur of the moment after being invited by a former co-worker who is now a manager for a competing company. I interviewed Monday & they offered me the job yesterday.
The down side of the new job is...it's new. There's change. Longer commute. I'll have to do some serious math to figure out if their health insurance is as good or better than what I have. Plus I'll have COBRA and 3 separate deductibles to deal with over the next 6 months. Going without insurance is not an option--one of my husband's meds is $600+/mo and between us we probably have 25 prescriptions. New job will only let me have 120 hours of leave on the books vs 240 where I am now. Since I know I have another hip replacement in my future, that worries me. My commute time would go from 15 minutes 1 way to 30-45 depending on traffic. Oh, and the new job is only 32 hours/week, not the 40 I thought when I applied.
Old job--I am seriously underpaid, even compared to my peers let alone what I could make elsewhere. Management does crazy things like only reimbursing for work-related mileage when they feel like it, and then at the 2005 rate. Yes, I've been trying to get them to correct this for 4 years w/no results. OTOH, my time is completely my own. I needed to leave work early & unexpectedly yesterday because hubby had a melt down and it was perfectly OK. I'm salary and they trust that I'll get my work done. New job, flexible but not like that.
So, I don't know what to do other than try to crunch numbers quickly today. I think the make or break points will be 1) flexibility, given that hubby's Bi-Polar is definitely NOT stable at this point and 2)projected net cost for healthcare. I want to make more $ mostly because I'm drowning in medical bills as it is, no way can I take a higher pay only to have it wiped out by paying more for healthcare. Even with the raise, I'll bring home about the same cash due to being paid for less hours.
Hell, I dunno, what do y'all think?
Oh, and did I mention that I was sufficiently stressed yesterday to stress eat all day and into the night? As in, I was supposed to go get fasting labs drawn this a.m. but can't because I couldn't stop eating.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Went to PT today & learned that I DO still limp. Hmphf! Also learned that I rotate my left foot way inward--no wonder I'm wobbly! He thinks it's all just bad habits from the last 3 years and not anything structural. So, I got an awesome massage of the incision area to loosen things up and a bunch of new exercises.
I'm actually looking forward to it--it's such a pleasure to be getting better after being a little worse every day for so long! I have a prescription for twice a week for a month. AND I'll finally have some fitness time to log here!
Other than that, this week I'll be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get errands done before I go back to work. I also want to try to get a whole body massage. I deserve it!
P.S. Hubby got his tooth pulled yesterday & is going back today for a couple of fillings. They will also return his partial with a new false tooth in it. So glad that's done & he won't have to suffer with mouth pain any more!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Today was a GREAT day! Went to the doctor for my 1st post-op check. I'm a few days shy of 4 weeks, visit was delayed by doctor's vacation. Came home with a printout of the x-ray of my shiny new hip to post on my bulletin board.
He was pleased & visibly surprised by how well I've recovered. We had a deal that he'd operate if I got below 300 lbs, but he still had misgivings about my weight, expected infection & for me to lay around & vegetate. I told him I've always done well with surgery & I'm really motivated to get mobile again--I guess now he believes me!
They took out a last stitch at each end of my incision (yay! those had been driving me nuts) and he told me to ditch the walker & start using a cane. I cannot express how happy that made me! I hated not having a hand free to carry things. 2 more weeks of aspirin (blood thinner) & TED hose & I do still have to do hip precautions for a couple more months.
I got home & tried out one of my canes, a little wobbly to start, but within a few minutes was walking pretty confidently. And for the first time in 3 years, without a limp! He wants me to go back to PT (outpatient this time) to make sure I re-develop a good gait & learn to do bendy things w/out risking dislocation. I've been wondering how to get a sock on without help or tools and still keep that 90* hip angle. Can I dare to dream of tying a shoe again? Getting pretty tired of wearing mules all the time! I expect I'll be sore tomorrow, but still happy.
He also released me to go back to work next week, 5 hrs/day then increase 1-2 hrs/week depending on how tired I get. That should allow me to avoid using any unpaid leave--a major worry off my mind. I'll still have to limit my walking, but I had been doing that before surgery so I don't think my patients will even notice. I've really missed them & my co-workers, heck, just the whole having a routine. And I think I will enjoy my beloved husband more once we're not together 24 hours/day. He'll have a much harder time hovering if I'm at work!
Speaking of hubby, the antibiotics worked & he has survived to get his bad tooth pulled tomorrow. My grandmother is also doing better. She's 97 and I know she will die in the forseeable future, but not last week as we feared. I had enough extra money to send flowers & called Mom every day (she doesn't usually like to talk on the phone) which she appreciated.
I've started logging my food again and set a new weight loss goal. Pain motivated me to start. I'm hoping that avoiding future pain plus reducing my need for prescriptions will motivate me to keep going. Oh, well, and also that I'm on the cusp of being able to buy clothes at department stores again. I've gone from a 5X to a 3X if it's cut generous. I'll never take being able to pop into the store, instead of forced to mail order, for granted again.
Thanks again to everyone who has been so supportive--couldn't have made it through all this without you!
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
I'm still healing and still frustrated by an assortment of things. Got home and started eating pre-SparkPeople comfort food and lots of it. Had company come last Friday and ate very evil, sodium filled convenience food. Company wanted to get out & do things, so we did and I was on my feet waaay too much. Was about to quit taking pain pills but then had to ramp that up again for a couple of days.
Last time I checked I was up 6 lbs and I'm sure it's more now considering how swollen my poor ankles are. So the good news is, I had several months of unswollen ankles and now I know just how uncomfortable they are since I'm no longer used to it. Which motivates me to get back on track.
However, I'm sort of embarassed to be as focused on "me" as I am. My 1/2 sister had a kidney removed due to cancer 3 mos ago & they just found tumors in her bladder at her check up. She'll have the tumors removed & do chemo, but this is seriously bad news. My Mom called today, freaked out because my grandmother (who has been in a nursing home) has gone into congestive heart failure. My husband has an abcessed tooth that he can't get pulled until next week. Really, what's a swollen ankle, sore hip or diet de-railment in the grand scheme of things? I would like to go home to support my Mom, but have a sick hubby and am not entirely sure me being there wouldn't make things worse for Mom. (She'd worry.)
Work is also being difficult. I had arranged to do some work from home before having surgery. Friday I put in 3 hours and today I had a message asking why I did that... Um, because that's what we agreed and because I want to do as much as I can so there isn't a disaster when I get back?
So. That leaves me with trying to eat healthier, because it's good for me and in turn that's good for everyone around me. And trying to figure out how to be supportive to family from a distance. And collecting my thoughts before talking to people from work so I don't say something I'll regret.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ONESILLYME Posts