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ONEREALLYBIGDOG's Recent Blog Entries

Is that one word or two?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.

They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on.

Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.

"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.

"I would like it infrequently," she replied.

The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, leaned over towards her and whispered -

"Is that one word or two?"

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREEE 5/19/2013 2:35AM

    are you still around?... i saw you were on gastric bypass team...did you do that? how did it work?

hope you are doing well, whichever...sure do enjoy your sense of humor... emoticon

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LINDAMARIEZ1 8/26/2012 1:13PM

    what a hoot!!!!!!! T H A N K S

linda emoticon

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SRHALLIN 6/22/2012 2:18AM

    You know... the answer to that question is fundamental to the nature of the marriage that might (or might not) be forthcoming. :)

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HARPERLADY 6/20/2012 6:18AM

    cute, lol

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SHERYLDS 6/19/2012 1:42PM

    one of my favorite jokes
I think Irving Cohen told it on Johnny Carson

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 6/19/2012 11:41AM

    You really do have an interesting sense of humor! emoticon

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Monday, April 02, 2012

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary........

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary...

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter I am". Bastards.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but, at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated
cell, so he is safe... for now.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISHKALA 10/8/2012 11:41PM

    I just had a chance to read this now - and thank you for making me laugh! I think you have captured the personalities of our furry friends perrrfectly! emoticon emoticon

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LINDAMARIEZ1 7/4/2012 2:30PM

    LOL very cute! emoticon emoticon

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JINLYNN 4/5/2012 7:33PM

    Love your sense of humour! Thanks for sharing this - I got a good laugh from it.

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BABY_GIRL69 4/2/2012 11:00PM

    Too cute....

God bless,


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FIT-AT-50 4/2/2012 10:51PM

    You've captured the essence of our fur babies! Love it!

Have your read, "A Dog's Purpose" by Bruce Cameron? If you haven't, I think you'd love it.

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SRHALLIN 4/2/2012 12:32PM

    I loved this. This has truly made my day. Thanks, Tony!

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SHERYLDS 4/2/2012 12:16PM

    Next Day
10AM visit to the Vet...Not my favorite Thing emoticon

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Six Truths in Life.....

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I received this info from a dear SP friend HICKOKHALEY

Hope you enjoy

Six Truths in Life.......

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck.

2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I'm an idiot and I needed company . You now have 2 options . . . delete it, or send it along to put a smile on someone else's face today.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNIAATROME 4/2/2012 4:30AM

    I see I'm entering a good company. Forgot how great your blog ideas are. Must stick around for a good morning laugh every day. Smiles back. Hope it turns out a great week for you. emoticon

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THREEE 2/6/2012 11:56PM

    i am a less than gullible idiot...of course i checked that silly first truth...and got a kick out of #3 knowing i WAS that idiot...thanks for the smile emoticon

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MUSTANG_SALLY2 2/6/2012 4:53PM

    I know I'm a bit late, but this cracked me up! I should know better than to try these things. LOL

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1COUNTRY_GAL 2/6/2012 11:11AM

    It's not so bad being an idiot,I am a smiling idiot,Ha,ha! emoticon

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APRILSHOWER555 1/28/2012 4:16PM

    Hilarious, I did it! LOL....hee hee

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HICKOK-HALEY 1/26/2012 9:25PM

    How many Idiots...Raise their hands emoticon hehe

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JINLYNN 1/26/2012 5:24PM


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-LINDA_S 1/26/2012 1:45PM

    I fell for it, too! Count me in as an idiot!

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GAILRUU 1/26/2012 10:59AM

    Funny. I resisted the urge to try it but did it after reading the whole thing. I guess that makes me an idiot anyway!

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SHERYLDS 1/26/2012 9:32AM

    you got me emoticon

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CLIMBERS_ROCK 1/26/2012 9:32AM

    You are not alone. I am an idiot also. This was funny and I'm still grinning. Thanks for starting my day with humor - always a good thing.

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EMGERBER 1/26/2012 9:23AM


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Another SP Suggestion...

Monday, January 16, 2012

I noticed there is a button / tab to remove multiple foods on our daily food tracker, but I cleaned out my SP refrigerator today and would have LOVED to have a button to remove MULTIPLE FOODS. : ) I don't know about anyone else, but I think I'm gonna have carpal tunnel syndrome after deleting one food after another over and over and over and over again.

You get the picture : )

I've got this idea to really hit it this year and thought it would be a good idea to "clean out" if you will the majority of items in my "favorites"

Sure glad I did too, cause there were MANY that weren't my favorites any more and need NOT be on my favorites list.

Hope y'all are having a great day
It's warm and very windy here in my little fantasy island, but while I'm holding on to my hat, it's gonna change temperatures here big time within the next 12 hours and get windy and COLD

Ta Ta for now

See ya at the next StoP

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1COUNTRY_GAL 2/6/2012 11:09AM

    Yes indeed,sounds great to me! You are a very smart man,a genius in my book! emoticon emoticon

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SRHALLIN 1/20/2012 7:29PM

    From your, keyboard to SP's Ear-- ahm... eyes!

Yeah that came out sort of the way I meant it. But, yes! Yes, I agree with you completely! :)

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WINE4GIRL 1/20/2012 4:09PM

    Good idea! Glad to see you're staying on board.....
(There was no train... lol!)

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GEMINIAN1 1/19/2012 10:40PM

    ... 'I think I'm gonna have carpal tunnel syndrome after deleting one food after another'
I remember cleaning and organizing my Favorites List a while ago.
If I recall correctly, it took me about 3 hours on a Saturday afternoon.
It was worth it though.
I am glad to hear that you're doing that.
Good on you!

It was negative 9 here in Chicago today.
We're under a "Winter Storm Warning" for tomorrow.
They're talkin' 6 inches of snow.

Comment edited on: 1/19/2012 10:42:19 PM

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BRAVEONE92 1/18/2012 7:31PM

    Hi Friend, that is a emoticon idea to
clean out Favorites. That is
something that I need to do. I noticed
when on the Nutrition site to put in my
foods, that a new way of logging in food
is available. I have not tried it, still
doing it the old way. We are having a
mild winter so far. Last week we had 1.5
in. snow that was beautiful. But it
melted the next day. I am ready for
spring already. Hoping that you reach
your goals this year. emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/18/2012 7:34:07 PM

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GOOZLEBEAR 1/16/2012 10:51PM

    That is a good idea, never thought about going through and cleaning out my favorites, maybe I have some listed there that I no longer consider "favorites". Thanks!!! emoticon emoticon

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CARTOONB 1/16/2012 10:14PM

    I'll still eat my favorites! Hope removing the foods from your tracker keeps you on track!

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INFLATED 1/16/2012 8:53PM

    Good idea!

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HUNGRYWOMAN2 1/16/2012 4:53PM

    I think this a fantastic idea! I try and get rid of as much "junk"on my computer as possible.
As for the weather here it is windy and balmy. I hate to think of what is to come. Stay warm, my friend. emoticon emoticon

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WOWEETOO 1/16/2012 4:08PM

    i'm just so glad you are still in my spark life friend!!!
that is SPlendid
the lady mary

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ALASKALILLADY 1/16/2012 3:18PM

    I like the idea to be able to remove multiple foods at once. Spark is getting more and more user friendly each year so I wouldn't be surprised if we see it soon.

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WILLOW49 1/16/2012 3:03PM

    Great idea!

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TILLIEBEE 1/16/2012 3:02PM

    That's a really good idea about the remove multiple foods button!
emoticon emoticon

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Monday, January 16, 2012

SP/FB sharing box now deleted from being an option!

Thank you SP for changing as many seemed to be disappointed!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINE4GIRL 1/20/2012 4:07PM


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QUEEN_REINA 1/17/2012 9:48AM

    It was an invasive and ridiculous idea to begin with!

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RAINTHIEF 1/16/2012 9:18PM


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KATVHALE 1/16/2012 2:23PM

    Whoo Hoo!

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CLAIRESML 1/16/2012 1:18PM

    thank heavens!

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BKNOCK 1/16/2012 12:58PM


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FITB4-40 1/16/2012 12:55PM


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WOWEETOO 1/16/2012 12:24PM

    yeah as i was really gonna miss you bad!!!!!!
the lady mary emoticon

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TILLIEBEE 1/16/2012 11:23AM


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GEMINIAN1 1/16/2012 11:10AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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