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Doctors are frustrating, to say the least

Thursday, August 15, 2013

I'm back from vacation and I'll be resuming the 100 days of weight loss soon but today I need to vent. I had a doctor's appointment today. After the slew of tests that ran the gamut, the diagnosis is that I'm fat and lazy. There's nothing wrong with me, except I need to get off my ass and stop eating, fat fatty. She's referring me to a sleep specialist to see about possible narcolepsy (???). She was CERTAIN I had sleep apnea but that test showed nothing. Basically, I'm extremely fatigued all the time, both sleepy and no energy. At times I have a very very hard time staying awake, thus the narcolepsy I guess. I have many symptoms of low thyroid, but that test came out normal according to her; however, I have a huge problem with this. I have done my research. All she tested was TSH and actually I tested outside of the normal range as suggested by the American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists but their recommendations are still controversial at best among most doctors. I've had more several health-knowledgeable people recommend that I ask her to put me on a low dose of thyroid meds "just to see" but she refused. She said there is literature out there that says that taking thyroid meds when you don't have a thyroid issue is harmful BUT she also refuses to do the better thyroid tests such as Free T3 and T4 that might actually diagnose the problem. This doctor came highly recommended by many and is highly esteemed by my husband as she diagnosed and began his care for pancreatitis. So I guess my next course of action is searching out yet another doctor. Even the idea of this just exhausts me even more. My other option is to just accept that there's nothing wrong with me other than being fat and lazy. She actually used the word "deconditioned" several times while talking to me - apparently I'm so out of shape that even basic daily activities are completely exhausting. She was too busy and hurried to listen to me try to tell her how hard I've been trying to lose weight. Nevermind the exercise I'm doing, I guess an average of 30-45 minutes a day just isn't long enough or maybe I'm not working hard enough. Maybe I'm not doing it right. Maybe I'm eating donuts in my sleep without realizing. Maybe I'm lying and I just came from the Golden Corral. To me, "dieting" must mean not supersizing my double quarter pounder value meal. These are the things I'm imagining she is thinking about me. It must be all my fault, because I'm fat and disgusting. If I would just put down the cake and go take a walk or something, I'd be in perfect health.

If by chance anyone knows of any good doctors in the Kansas City area, please let me know.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    I know this response is really late but your symptoms do point straight to hypothyroidism. For me, the thyroid issues didn't show up on the 1st blood test or the 2nd or the third. They showed up on the 4th one. I was always exhausted, had no energy, weight gain, etc.

Don't give up! Your body knows something is wrong and that is what it's telling you.
You know, I would say the doctor is lazy for not listening and only focusing on the numbers. :)

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    Sorry to hear about your experience...you are a beautiful person, a wonderful person, and love yourself exactly as God made you (Deepak Chopra) a wonderfully, beautifully made piece of God's perfection. emoticon

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MUSCLE-UP 8/24/2013 11:27AM

    I don't think I like your Doctor's atttiude toward getting you to feel better and putting your mind at ease. You can have sub-clinical low thyroid and feel like you cannot move. I felt that way for years until my thyroid finally pegged out and I got help. I do feel better and my depression is receding and the brain fog is lifting.

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 8/16/2013 5:28PM

    What a devastating story. It's been well documented that doctors--including female doctors---are less compassionate and sympathetic to women and much less so to woman of weight. Perhaps she likes your husband more because she likes men more.

I have worked hard over the years to become my own diagnostician. It's amazing how often I am correct. And it's heartbreaking how much I have suffered. I diagnosed my own appendicitis and went to my family doctor who confirmed it and called the hospital and told them he was sending me over. The pissy residents started to say that "she looks more like a gall bladder than an appendix" (note the words they chose). I was 54 years old and weighed about 245-250 pounds. I spoke to them nicely and suggested that my family doctor had made the diagnosis and they smirked at each other--as if any family doctor would take me seriously must be an inferior being.

The up-shot? They ignored me and left me to rot in the ER and said that in the morning they would figure things out. (I had been there since before 12 noon). Most of them voted to send me home but a couple of them said that they should do tests. They told me that a test to confirm an appendectomy would be "costly". I waved my insurance card at them.
Finally in the middle of the night my appendix burst and I had surgery.

The next day a new young doctor stopped by my bed and scolded me roundly for my irresponsibillty in allowing my appendix to rupture. I mentioned that I had been at the hospital for about 18 hours BEFORE it ruptured and he brushed me away.

A nice nurse mentioned that if they had diagnosed me properly I would have had a simple laparascopic procedure and been home in one day. Instead my belly was ripped open and I was stuck there for a week.

So--being a prisoner of the health system sucks. It's hard to find new doctors. It's hard to be taken seriously. The default assumption seems to be that if you are overweight you are some sort of bag lady...

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. emoticon emoticon

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POPSY190 8/16/2013 3:47AM

    You do need to find another doctor as you have ended up with extra distress as the result of the consultation with this one.
I had experience of being very low in stored iron but it didn't show up in the basic tests that just look at blood levels. So any extra testing that can be done should be done, if only for your peace of mind. Take care of yourself.

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JBELICIOUS5 8/15/2013 10:11PM

    I may be biased, but find a good NP!! They are way more holistic in their care and will look at the bigger picture (especially good when you're exploring a number of options for your symptoms). I definitely think you need a Free T4 done. I would absolutely get a second opinion. So sorry to hear you had a bad experience to start!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 8/15/2013 1:47PM

    **HUGS** So sorry your doc has the "bedside" manner of a toad. Really?! In this day and age. I hope you find a good doctor who will truly listen to you and work with you. I know you've been working hard. And the chronic fatigue you're feeling isn't normal. I live with it more days than not, but I know where mine is coming from. I was lucky and got some good docs (referred to a specialist for this and got one of the best).

Perhaps you could get your doc (new or old) to send you to a nutritionist. One of those might be able to help.

Good luck. Unfortunately I don't live in that area and so can't help there.

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OLIVE_LOAF 8/15/2013 12:21PM

    My TSH is 4.8 but as you know, most doctors still say 0.5-5.5 is "normal" even though the AACE say 0.3-3. The only thing that doesn't fit is my HR is high - like 80s+ most of the time, but as they always say not everyone has the same symptoms.

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1CRAZYDOG 8/15/2013 10:59AM

    OH I get so hostile when it comes to thyroid disease! I have had Hashimotos diagnosed since 1998. BUTI KNOW I ha to have suffered with the symptoms for many years prior to that. The endocrinologist I initially saw did the T3-T4, reverse T3-T4 and diagnosed Hash (I had a + antibody titer -- and BTW, Hashimotos is autoimmune low thyroid -- your body actually attacks your thyroid gland). HOWEVER, my TSH was 4.9, so did not prescribe meds. WTH! I found another Dr. immediately, who started me on Thyroid med (Synthroid @ that time) and within 2 weeks I was minus the brain fog, could get up off the couch, had a tad more energy and my hair started shedding less, and my heart rate went from the 40's to the 60's. Good golly, MIss Molly. If I'd waited till my level got to 5 I wouldn't be writing this or anything else for that matter!). Had I gone alone with that first schmo, who knows. MESSAGE: GET A 2ND OPINION! I don't know what your TSH level is but the parameters as you probably know are 0.3 - 3.0. And women typically feel good at about 1.5 - 2.0. Well, gosh . . . wonder why I felt like pond scum when mine was 4.9, huh! Persist.

Wishing you good health. You are NOT lazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shame on that Dr. Absolute shame.

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ADARKARA 8/15/2013 9:49AM

    You doctor is awful, find a new one! emoticon Good doctors LISTEN to their patients!

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HLISPAP 8/15/2013 8:57AM

    I am so sorry you had such a negative experience with your doctor, and feel bad that you had to go through the mental battles that come from such an experience. I will say a special prayer for you today, and I hope you realize you are worthwhile as a human being, beautiful and valued as a person, and a woman of dignity.

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AMARILYNH 8/15/2013 6:56AM

    Oh Melissa I'm so sorry to hear this! You DEFINITELY need a different doctor. While I kind of understand her reluctance about thyroid meds I DO NOT understand why she wasn't willing to do more testing! The thyroid is VERY complicated and I've read several things that lead me to believe the 'ranges' can be skewed. I've looked into this area myself because I suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome for a number of years. So I definitely have sympathy with how you are feeling. I'm not sure anyone who has not suffered from debilitating fatigue can understand just how frustrating it is.

I also know how tiring it is to go to doctors over and over again when all you feel like doing is taking a nap. But don't give up on it! I finally found one who did everything she could to help me.

One other suggestion - and I'll qualify this by saying I saw NO reference to it when I was researching help for chronic fatigue. When I went on a low carb diet (for weight loss) during this same time it HELPED my fatigue (gave me more energy). I was towards the end of my bout with it so I can't say for sure that was what did it but I'd say its worth a try. If you are feeling like I felt during that time ANYTHING is worth a try! Hugs!!

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BLUENOSE63 8/15/2013 12:55AM

  Doctors don't know everything, so go and find one that will listen to what you have to say! In the meantime, feel free to vent here as that is what SP is for among other things.

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_BABE_ 8/15/2013 12:52AM

    Keep the faith. I hope you feel better and just keep eating well and getting enough sleep and find a new doctor. emoticon

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ERIECANALGAL 8/15/2013 12:38AM

    Doctors can be a pain. But if you find the right one for you, you'll feel differently about them. Maybe this one is not the one for you.

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SUSANBEAMON 8/15/2013 12:32AM

  hope you find a doctor who isn't so busy. getting one that listens is all it takes sometimes.

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GODZDESIGN95 8/15/2013 12:11AM

    I know of none but I had to leave my dr that cared for my diabetes in the past. he refused to treat me and listen. My current dr not only listens to me but works with me and i am off one of my diabetic meds and the weight is melting off. Best wishes on your quest.

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100 days of weight loss, Day 24

Monday, July 29, 2013

It has been longer than I thought since I did my last "day"! It seems each day blurs into the next and pretty soon "oh my gosh, it's been a few days" turns into 9 days. It seriously feels like only about 4. Part of it was lingering fatigue and headache from being sick - today is the first day I haven't woken up with a headache. Oh well. I'm not going to try to catch up this time but will just pick up and continue where I left off. I'm also going out of town for 10 days on August 1st so I will probably not be posting consecutive days during that time.

Day 24 is about feeling satisfied by my food, which really seems to be a combination of Day 21, eating with awareness, and Day 23, Savoring. For this day, they say to pay attention to how I feel while I'm eating. A quote from the book that resonates with me: "When you give yourself permission to enjoy food instead of feeling guilty about eating it, you’ll get the satisfaction you crave and you won’t have to hunt for something more to eat."

How many times have I really really wanted x food (for example, chocolate) but decided that it is not healthy or it is not on my eating plan or it's a "no-no", and then try to satisfy my craving with other healthier foods, only to still not feel satisfied and still want the chocolate? Many. Very very many. I guess this can even extend to eating healthy foods - I have felt guilty about eating a larger portion size of a healthy food than I "should" have.

This really is all about slowing down to enjoy and appreciate the food I'm eating, whether it's a salad or a piece of chocolate cake. Many times I have given into the craving only to scarf down whatever it was I was craving without even really tasting it. It wasn't satisfying. That's one of the ways I ended up eating the entire package, or more than I "should" have. If I had slowed down and savored it, the flavor and texture would have satisfied the craving and I imagine I would have been much more likely to stop after a small portion.

The activity for the day says to first recall a food or type of meal this is highly satisfying to me. This could really be any number of foods or meals, but the things they have in common are that they are often on the high side for both fat and carbs. They are things that have rich and complex flavors. If I slow down and really appreciate these foods, I would feel quite satisfied with smaller amounts.

Next it says to write about how it feels to be satisfied by food. For me, this means eating something with great flavors and textures. For example, I'm more satisfied by a piece of good cheese than say a Kraft single or plain mild cheddar, or a piece of good chocolate rather than plain old Hershey. Apparently, my eureka moment here is that I should buy more expensive groceries, but maybe just smaller amounts of them. Will have to contemplate that one.

Lastly, I was to eat at least one thing today that will completely satisfy me. I was stressed at work and craving something sweet and carb-y like a granola bar, crackers, cookies, etc. I did not have any healthy versions of those things with me so I decided that I would be satisfied by my pre-planned snack of cherries and Greek yogurt. I ate it and savored every bite. It was satisfying!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HLISPAP 8/4/2013 11:20AM

    I have a "chocolate battle" too, but I have found that permitting a moderate piece after my supper meal is VERY helpful. I don't feel deprived, and I don't overeat other foods that I really don't want trying to make up for it. I read somewhere, we don't continue for long when we don't like what we eat. So while I am doing lots of new recipes to assist me in actually eating what I am growing in my garden, I don't think I would make it depriving myself of chocolate!

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MUSCLE-UP 8/1/2013 4:31AM

    Enjoy your vacation. Sounds like you are going on a high note. I am glad you are feeling better now.

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ONEMORX 7/31/2013 1:34AM

    emoticon plan! emoticon blog! You seem to have a very healthy attitude about life and the SP journey! emoticon B-

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AMARILYNH 7/30/2013 11:55AM

    I think this one gave great insight to BOTH of us! My BRAIN knows I can be satisfied with only a small amount of my favorite 'goodies' but its taking some time for it to really sink in with my DESIRE!! But we'll just keep working on it until we get it!! emoticon

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GOING-STRONG 7/30/2013 1:21AM


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LAURAB_143 7/29/2013 9:23PM

    I am glad you are feeling better!! I hope you stay well. I think it's smart to just pick up where you left off. Good for you!!! emoticon
I really like what you wrote about today. And I can relate to trying to find a healthy food when you are craving something. I almost always eat more calories than if I had just eaten the food I really wanted. I struggle with what to do. I eventually would like to want to choose healthy food for my body, for fuel. So I do try to substitute a healthier option that might satisfy the craving.
I'm glad you are back to posting about your 100 days!!

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1CRAZYDOG 7/29/2013 8:54PM

    Awesome! You really have had a great eureka moment!!!

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TRAVELGRRL 7/29/2013 7:35PM

    Great job! If you eat what you really don't want, you'll keep on eating. So I agree with you: buy exactly what you want and eat it in trackable amounts. It's taken me a long time to realize that it's OK not to feel compelled to eat it all at once: it will still be there tomorrow!

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/29/2013 7:26PM

    WOOHOO! Loved this one. I love how you detail why things aren't satisfying and what you can do to change that. I've also started going to the higher quality foods and savoring them rather than finding a substitute most of the time. I can eat much less of it if I eat it before I HAVE to have it and then binge, just shoveling the food in.

Have fun on your trip.

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100 days of weight loss, Days 20, 21, 22, 23

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I've been sick with some sort of summer flu and spent most of the day Thursday and Friday sleeping. I thought I was feeling better today but then I decided to go grocery shopping and that didn't go so well. The upside is that the nausea is making me not want to eat, but I would love for the headache to go away. It's going on a straight week.

I'm going to go ahead and do the days I've missed to get caught up.

Day 20 says to divide everything I eat in half; either by eating half as much as I normally would or taking half as much as I want to take. It's an interesting concept that might be worth some merit. I will keep it in mind for when I'm faced with a food situation outside my normal plan. They want me to do this today with at least five different foods and then write about how I feel about it. Without even doing it, I know how I'd feel - deprived. They suggest in that case I should take a look at myself and maybe there is something else in my life that needs attention or needs to be "filled". Of course there is! But that is just going to open up a bottomless can of worms so I'm not even going to attempt to tackle that one in one blog.

Day 21 says to eat with awareness. They suggest setting the table with good china and light candles and playing mood music... that is just silly and why we go out to nice restaurants from time to time. The good part of this lesson is to pay attention to everything about the food - appearance, flavors, temperature, and texture. I have done this before and it definitely does make the food more enjoyable and more fulfilling.

Day 22 then says to do the opposite - multitask while eating but still be mindful of what you're eating. I have to confess that I do frequently multitask while eating - I watch TV, go online, read, have conversations. It does make it more difficult to be mindful but it is still possible. Once I start eating more than saltines and 7-up I'll pay attention to how I act while multitask-eating.

Day 23 says to eat a small amount of something to savor, like a small piece of chocolate. This is definitely a helpful technique to feel satisfied with a smaller amount of enjoyable foods. It is possible to have just a small amount of something, as long as you slow down and savor that first bite.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/23/2013 4:55PM

    Hmm... I think day 20's suggestion would be tough for me. I plan my meals so that I have just enough to be full. Although I have halved my breakfast and eaten half at a later time. I don't think I could just leave half of the food on the plate.

I've heard of the second suggestion before. I seldom take the time to do that as I'm most often multitasking while eating. Never enough hours in the day. I think I've found a good balance for mindful eating while doing other things as well.

I have yet to master the last one. When I open something it's tough to eat just a small piece. However, if it comes individually wrapped I can do so, especially with high quality chocolate.

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_BABE_ 7/23/2013 9:54AM

    Nothing seems worse than being sick when it's beautiful outside...hope you feel better. emoticon

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LAURAB_143 7/22/2013 3:28PM

    Oh Dear, I do hope you feel better very soon!! I'm so surprised you got caught up after feeling so sick. Don't be too hard on yourself, by that I mean if you aren't even feeling like eating you shouldn't feel pressured to progress in the book. But with that said, I really enjoyed reading your blog.

In regard to the halving of the food. I used to do that when I was in high school and weighed 135 pounds if I went up a few pounds. Doing that for a day or two and a little exercise was enough to keep my weight down. Now, thinking about eating half of my normal food does make me feel a little deprived too. But it worked then, I should be able to do it for myself now. I'm SURE there's some things in my life that need attention and would help me feel "filled".

I eat sometimes at the table with just family conversation, and sometimes while watching TV or reading email. Since I usually serve from the stove, meal times are not when I have the most trouble. I can eat either way. It's snacky foods that usually get me, or pizza or brownies left on the counter. I should just make sure there's nothing but fruit left out where I can see it.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Be well!!!

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/22/2013 6:49AM

    Oh no, I hope you're all better soon.
I have to agree with the 'halve everything' idea, I would feel so deprived and I'm not sure I know anyone who wouldn't!

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TRAVELGRRL 7/21/2013 10:06AM

    Sorry you were sick!

I too eat when there is a lot going on -- TV, computer, etc. But I find when I slow down, eat focusing on my food, I feel satisfied. I also have to leave the table immediately after dinner (generally that's when I log it in). My husband starts the clean up and after 10-15 minutes I can enter the kitchen safely! I am intrigued by your blogs about this program and think I might have to buy her book.

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1CRAZYDOG 7/21/2013 8:39AM

    Hope you're feeling better! HUGS

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JIBBIE49 7/21/2013 12:11AM

    DONE GIRLS ROCK. Don't quit.

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100 days of weight loss, Day 19

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Today we are focusing on measuring serving sizes. After measuring for awhile I thought I could tell what the appropriate serving sizes looked like, and I probably did fine for awhile but then they started getting a little bigger and bigger. So I measured the measurable things today and sure enough, the appropriate serving looked smaller than what I've been eating lately. So I'll keep measuring for awhile to keep things in check and then periodically thereafter.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 7/18/2013 2:33PM

    It's good that you are doing that. I have noticed the precise same thing happening to me. When I start to "eyeball" portions, they get larger quickly. So even though it can be a nuisance, I pay attention and measure.

I am so lazy that sometimes I won't even eat food that requires measuring and that often results in a better choice. emoticon

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/18/2013 9:47AM

    Good plan. I do the same thing now and then, just to make sure I've got it right and keep me honest.

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SWEETNEEY 7/17/2013 9:25AM

    Too me that is the most effective tool - measuring and weighing - my goal is to do it for every meal I can. But it's not second nature yet.

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/17/2013 8:13AM

    I've never been able to measure any of my food without scales/cups/spoons, spatial awareness is just not my thing. At least you managed it for a while!

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THE_SHAKESHAFT 7/17/2013 1:12AM

    Keep up the great work!

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LAURAB_143 7/16/2013 10:04PM

    This is something I need to do too. Especially in the mornings when I put what I think is a Tbsp of chocolate chips in my Fiber One cereal. emoticon It's always a good thing to remeasure to remember what servings are suppose to be.

You are doing a good job sticking to this program. Be proud of yourself!!!! emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 7/16/2013 9:53PM

    That is exactly why I STILL measure and weigh. Portion sizes just seem to grown exponentially! Not a good thing.


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100 days of weight loss, Day 18

Monday, July 15, 2013

Today is about retraining my eating habits. They want me to start leaving small amounts of food on my plate each day to retrain myself from the "clean your plate" idea. I'm not going to do this as a rule because I am often very careful to only take the amount that I can eat. However, i will keep the idea in mind for situations when I have more than I can eat, such as at a restaurant. Just because it's there, doesn't mean I have to eat it. When I become more mindful of my body cues, I can tell when I've had enough. If I can be conscious of that all the time, then I can consistently stop at that point.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1CRAZYDOG 7/16/2013 2:12PM

    Good plan for the day to make that a habit! HUGS and smiles. You're doing well.

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4-1HEALTHYCYNDI 7/16/2013 11:42AM

    I think that is a very good plan. One I think I'll use myself. Thanks as always for sharing this journey.

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/16/2013 8:23AM

    Good plan : )

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SHIRAZSOLLY 7/16/2013 2:21AM

    I agree that it is better not to put it on your plate in the first place! Then you don't have to throw it away. Better to have the chance to box it up for another meal or to give it to your hubby or freeze for later.

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EMMACORY 7/15/2013 11:18PM

    I am sure there are many of us who grew up with the "clean your plate" pushed on us. It does take awareness to break this habit. I think learning portion control and what is normal as well as stopping when we are full are great practices. Keep up the good work. emoticon

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MUSCLE-UP 7/15/2013 10:53PM

    That is excellent! You are right. Why put something on your plate that you are not going to eat. Portion control before you start. emoticon

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JO88BAKO 7/15/2013 10:20PM

    That's great!! I've been working on the same thing for several weeks, and it does work. You can do it!!

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PAMLICO-DAZE 7/15/2013 10:19PM

    emoticon emoticon

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