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Achy but alive.

Friday, December 21, 2012

So I've been pretty MIA this week. I've been working at least 10 hours a day. By the time I get home, I don't have any motivation to think, let alone log on to the computer and type. I do miss my spark friends and I'm doing my best to check up on every one.

I'm coming down with something. Yesterday my glands hurt and I was sneezing. I took it easy all day (it was my day off!) and I also went to bed early. I was a little dizzy this morning but felt generally better. I feel achy now and will go to bed after this post.

I've been eating like crap (although trying to stay in the correct calorie range) and not working out. Adding that ontop of my stress and not sleeping like I should, I'm not suprised that I am getting sick. I've tried to focus on getting some NUTRITIOUS food into my body yesterday and today. I've also tried to get my water intake in too. Hopefully this will get me well soon.

I have to remember to take some time to take care of me on top of my crazy work schedule. I can tell that I am depressed and overwhelmed by work right now. I need to stop letting it affect my eating habits, and try to reserve SOME energy for exercising. If I can't manage to exercise, then I need to at least eat nutritiously. I am trying not to beat myself up on top of every thing else. I. Am. Exhausted. Working 60 hours a week, then grocery shopping, christmas shopping, and cleaning on all my sparetime afterwards, doesn't leave a lot of relaxation or fun. I'm not making excuses for myself, I am just tired.

Nonscale victories:
Feeling lighter.
Tried on my wedding dress and it fell down (now i need to size exchange it lol)
People keep noticing my weight loss.
I feel better about myself.
I also physically feel better.

Things I'm thankful for:
spark people to always come back to.
My health (in general, not the being sick right now part)
My family.

Things I must remember:

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDYSDAY 12/25/2012 7:34AM

    emoticon

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-AMANDA79- 12/22/2012 9:49AM

    Staying in calorie range is a biggie! Working all those hours, I would probably eat everything in sight! Take care of yourself...

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HEALTHY4ME 12/21/2012 8:45PM

    Feel better and hope you don't get any worse. Hubby is slowly a bit better but now tonight dad isn't feeling well. I don't need him sick so going to think positive and hope he gets well by tomorrow.
HUGS hot tea and sleep....

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This is what 20lbs gone looks like

Sunday, December 16, 2012




This was a little scary to post since its so intimate, however, look at the difference!

As my dear friend LOLAMOM2 has informed me, I have lost the equivalent to:
a Welsh Terrier, a large male Maine Coon, his medium-sized box of clumping litter, a car tire, an average one-year-old, a KitchenAid Standing Mixer, or a Christmas turkey that feeds 10-15 people.

HOW IT FEELS?! Easier to breethe. No knee pain. Little back pain. Quicker to move! Higher energy and overall just good. :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMMACASSEY 12/17/2012 12:48PM

    Wow, what an awesome difference it makes--not just in how you look but in how much better your body works. congratulations are definitely in order! Go, you!

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HEALTHY4ME 12/16/2012 4:58PM

    YES!!! and glad that the knee pain is able to leave... means you probably haven't done any perm. damage to it and losing wt will help. Mine yes wt loss will help but the damage is done from my work mostly.
Gotta go puppy calling!

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TWNOMWE 12/16/2012 3:29PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LOLAINSC 12/16/2012 3:06PM

    Woo-hoo, look at you!
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LRSILVER 12/16/2012 2:58PM

    Amazing accomplishment WTG!! emoticon

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JANDLP 12/16/2012 11:14AM

    Awesome!

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FITFORMYKIDS 12/16/2012 9:41AM

    OMG!!!!!!!!! You look AWESOME! Thanks for sharing the pics and blog!

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Comment edited on: 12/16/2012 9:42:54 AM

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-AMANDA79- 12/16/2012 9:24AM

    Uh, WOW!! That is amazing!! You look fantastic!

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RIDLEYRIDER 12/16/2012 8:37AM

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TXTOAD9970 12/16/2012 8:17AM

    good for you! keep up the great work! emoticon emoticon

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WKWJWP 12/16/2012 7:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon WOwee! You look fantastic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never really knew what losing 20lbs would look like. This is awesome! You seriously looks so good! I'm excited to see how you will fit into your wedding dress later! emoticon

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BLUENOSE63 12/16/2012 7:50AM

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20lbs down!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

I am humbled by life once again. The event at Sandy Hook Elementary School, Conneticut has left me feeling shamed for ever thinking my problems equal "heartbreak." Those families are experiencing real heartbreak that I hope to never experience and can not fathom during this holiday season. My heart goes out to them. I will hug my family and enjoy my life a little extra today knowing how precious life can be.

I would like to challenge every one to think about COMPASSION and LOVE. I challenge every one to smile at a stranger, perform a random act of kindness, ask that co-worker you never speak to if something is wrong. If we all put out a little extra love and compassion into this world this world would be a much better place. The worlds view on mental illness needs to change and we need to all embrace each other as fellow human beings to make a real change. I've been smiling at all my donors today and wishing them a good day. I hope to at least make one person smile or feel good for at least that moment. emoticon

Things I'm Proud of:
As of today, I am 20lbs down in my Spark journey!!!
I have had a continual loss since the beginning of my streek from week to week.

Things I'm thankful for:
The wellbeing (physical and mental) of my family.
My personal wellbeing (physical and mental-I will not let work consume me, life is too previous).
I would write more, but I think these two sum it all up!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWNOMWE 12/16/2012 3:31PM

    Such a great loss of innocent lives. Let keep them in our prayers.
emoticon on 20 lb loss.

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PEPPYPATTI 12/15/2012 7:56PM

    I agree with you that we need to help stop the insanity that is going on. Way to go on the 20 pounds. You have done an awesome job!
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LILLEAN 12/15/2012 5:54PM

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HEALTHY4ME 12/15/2012 4:43PM

    YAYAYYA you have done awesome, good for you 20lbs !!! and every week too good for you.

And as for the compassion and love, we have to remember that there is compassion and love still in this world.

HUGS

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LOLAINSC 12/15/2012 1:14PM

    Congratulations on not only your weight loss but also your consistency--you've kept plugging away through thick and thin and flu bugs and road trips and that ain't easy!

FYI, you are no longer toting along: a Welsh Terrier, a large male Maine Coon, his medium-sized box of clumping litter, a car tire, an average one-year-old, a KitchenAid Standing Mixer, or a Christmas turkey that feeds 10-15 people.

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LOLAINSC 12/15/2012 12:50PM

    Oops, comment posted twice!

Comment edited on: 12/15/2012 1:15:55 PM

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-AMANDA79- 12/15/2012 12:24PM

    I'm so proud of you! 20 lbs is so awesome!

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Crushed.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Not only is my body exhausted but my spirit feels crushed as well. I have experienced some heart break today at work. I feel that it is sad that I am that emotionally invested in my job that when I experience disappointment I actually feel pain equivalent to heartbreak. But I also think its a reflection of the passion I have for what I do. I've been on and off crying all night. I am allowing myself this one evening to grieve and really live in the emotion because its not too often that I do. However I will learn from it and move on tomorrow. But for tonight I feel sad, under appreciated, misunderstood, slighted and plain hurt.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEPPYPATTI 12/14/2012 9:03PM

    I am so sorry that you are feeling sad. It is good though, that you grieve to get through it. I am here for you!
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ANJAYS-JOURNEY 12/14/2012 8:04AM

    hugs hope things start looking up

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LRSILVER 12/14/2012 7:17AM

    Hugs. Feel better.

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SAVVYSAVANNAH 12/13/2012 10:02PM

    I am so sorry to hear about your state, but I know once you are done crying, you will feel alot better and you will be focus on what to do next. My prayers go out to you. Stay strong and know God is there with you and there is a reason you are going through this at this time.

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TKOVACH1 12/13/2012 9:15PM

    I'm so sorry your heart is broken from what has happened at work today. I appreciate you and hope your heart heals. emoticon emoticon

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HEALTHY4ME 12/13/2012 9:01PM

    HUgs and sad for you too. Have a aww night and then as you say learn from it or don't give as much of "you" at work.
HUGS dear freind


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Rest week/EYE PAIN

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Well apparently I've decided to give myself a break this week and RELAX. Its hard, because I worry I'm back sliding. But I am still trying to remain in calorie range. I also gave myself permission to eat pizza today. I've been craving it forever. I only had two pieces and still remained within calorie range. I didn't eat until I was going to die. So i think that is progress (hopefully?). Healthier lifestyle doesn't mean total restriction. At least that's what I'm telling myself.

I was busy running around work today so I also didn't get on the treadmill today. I believe I am having an occular migraine. My eye hurts!!!! I took a migraine medicine because its on the side of my head that has been hurting lately and my eye feels a lot better so I am assuming its a migraine, but really I have no idea. I need to get ahold of my eye doctor.

I thought about getting on the treadmill but honestly I kinda feel like I'm on the verge of exhaustion. My chest kinda feels like if I'm not careful, I may catch a cold any moment, and my head hurts all the time lately. So I have decided that TONIGHT I will not get on the treadmill. And I will TRY not to beat myself up or worry about it (although as you can probably tell, i'm not doing a very good job of that).

Mean while, since I've decided to take a break off from the activity, I'm boosting my sparking to make sure I stay on track.

Nonscale victories today:
Maintained portion control over former "trigger" food, pizza.

Things I'm thankful for:
Bonding time with Cameron this weekend (rare with teenagers).
Finally knowing who our center manager is going to be (& the person I wanted).
Having some coverage in to take some of the stress of me in the quality office.
Randy being home.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-AMANDA79- 12/11/2012 10:08PM

    Moderation, not perfection. And if your sick, rest. Think about what you would tell your best friend or your sister and try to apply that advice to yourself...

Could it be sinus pressure? Maybe try a sudaphed?
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ARUSHING2 12/11/2012 8:39PM

  Hope all is well for you regarding your eyes vs. eye pain.

Sometimes a bit of a break can be positive over all.

Best wishes and Happy Holiday Season.

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HEALTHY4ME 12/11/2012 7:50PM

    Check out PIXIE-LICIOUS blog of today as she isn't feeling well and wrote about not beating yourself up. Sometimes you have to rest, and also as you said healthier lifestyle doesnt mean total restriction.
HUGS and feel better soon, and yes find out about your eyes.

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LRSILVER 12/11/2012 7:40PM

    You are doing great. Who goes on a treadmill with a migraine? Come on lie down and rest. You will jump back in with both feet when you are feeling better.

Congrats on staying in range!!

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