Friday, August 01, 2014
Some may have noticed that my weight tracker has not moved.
That is on purpose. I get too obsessed with that scale, even though we know there are supposed to be ups and downs in this weight loss game. The drops on weight sure motivated, but when the scale inched up, it was enough to throw me off track. It is so goofy, these head games. So, I refuse to play.
Instead I wii put all my focus on tracking what I eat, and push forward to get moving. Maybe I will weigh in late September.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
I cannot eat just one bowl. I talk myself into two. And it is so easy to pour and eat before rationality kicks back in.
So now I just ate breakfast and lunch. Or lunch and snack. Haven't gone over my calorie count yet, but it doesn't leave much for dinner. Good thing I feel sick.
Man I just need to stay away from cereal, and carbs.
Chalk it up to "What I Allow Is What Will Continue!"
Thursday, July 17, 2014
Back in the game!
Here's wishing a strong thursday to all of you, too!
I know we are of many faiths and we take many paths to God, so I am grateful for your patience and honor those who take a different path than mine, but, I have to say, yesterday's little prayer to St. Jude, honestly, blew some wind into my sails.
I was on my game all day yesterday, and Thursday's looking great. I am sitting here "starving" (hungry) but I kind of think it feels good to be hungry!!? Weird.
Now I have to focus on getting those workouts in. So many of you amaze me with your marathons and athletcism. Inspiring.
Thank you Lord, thank you St. Jude.
Wednesday, July 16, 2014
I've slipped back into old patterns this third week back, undoing the work of the first two weeks.
Then, I had the depressing thought that I've been struggling with this for 30 years, sometimes succeeding wonderously, & in the last few years falling into dispair & bloat. Enough!
Then I turned to my own Spark page, and saw my poster that reminds: "What you allow is what will continue."
The thought that this is a lifelong determination is NOT depressing, it's just truth. Like most, I'll attend to my eating, my health always. That is just plain life, isn't it? Well heck, sometimes the hard work is fun, the meeting of other Sparkettes & Sparkers and learning their wisdom & cheering for them is amazing. It is fun to feel better.
But, in the wake of these serious thoughts, and knowing there are even greater concerns, financial struggles, and family worries, grief and so much more that life throws our way, please welcome a small, powerful prayer to the patron of hopeless & lost causes:
"St. Jude, glorious apostle, faithful servant & friend of Christ, patron of difficult & desperate cases. Pray for us. Intercede, make use of that particular privilege accorded to you to bring visible & speedy help where help is despaired of. Come to our assistance, may we receive the consolation & help of heaven in all tribulations that we may bless God with you & the elect throughout eternity.
I promise, O blessed ST. JUDE, to be ever mindful of this great favor. I'll never cease to honor you as my special & powerful patron & do all in my power to encourage devotion to God. Amen."
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
That phrase, "too skinny" and the thought that other people will someday actually say that to me is my motivation for today, this week, this year, forever.
Yes, motivation should come from within, and it does, but, as this entire website proves, comments from others can really take you soaring, or bring you to a wreck. And, sometimes, I found I cannot trust my inner dialog, as I lied to myself all the way up the scale (oh you still fit in the same clothes. Oh it is just 10 pounds, I can drop that easy...etc.)
So while I could over do it, I know people's opinions, cheering etc., just helps this journey a lot.
And soon one realizes that even the sabotage of others can prove to you that you are on the right path. I just read a blog post from a Sparkette, where she described being woken up at midnight by her husband, he made her a huge plate of fried eggs, the works, saying, "honey I made this for you."
It is a form of love for those close to us to be concerned when we change drastically. It is confounding for us too, because I know I am not alone in also facing self-sabotage. Constantly on, and then, so far off. And, when my hubby dropped 20 pounds this spring, I found myself worrying,..which I know is just so, so wrong. He looks great and feels better, and if I love him, I know his weight loss will help keep his blood pressure in check. Especially since we lost his mom to an aortic aneurysm!
It is so weird, and yes, twisted, how the unknown of a changing future seems to propel us to hang on to the past, to what we know, even if that past made us so miserable. We know better, but we tend to hang tight, with white knuckles.
So we have to turn it around to positive. My son saying to me, " mom, you know, eating all that lettuce is bad for you." My Spark friend being woke by her hubby with a tempting plate of food. The comment, "you are getting way too skinny," suddenly becomes something positive, motivating. These are signs that we are finally changing and taking control of things we thought we could never control. We can and we are doing this.
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