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Falling off the wagon

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I hope everyone had a wonderful blessed Thanksgiving Day. We just finished our leftovers last night :) I had a pretty stress free Thanksgiving Day, lots of family joined us and it was nice.

Several things are behind me now, but still have that float ahead of me, and still getting the church financial things in order. I've put that off for a few days to concentrate on other things that needed my immediate attention. But now it's time to get into all that. Also now have a budget meeting and business meeting coming up, so I have deadlines in which to have things done.

As for my diet.... I feel totally out of control.... like I've fallen off the wagon and it's rollin on without me. I need to get back on but seem to be having a hard time doing so.

I haven't weighed myself. I'm too scared to. I'll not worry about those numbers yet until I get my eating back in order and feel good about stepping on the scale.

And I'm still having computer problems with my own computer. My screen flickers sometimes. A couple times it wouldn't even boot, and now one of my programs won't open. It acts like it is, but then just disappears in a second. My husband thinks it's hard-drive related and that it's going to fail soon.

I really miss coming here.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISA32989 11/27/2007 9:36PM

    We miss you too & we're here for you. We've all been there

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ZIEGLERJ 11/27/2007 8:54PM

    I should be posting this same blog!! I said the holiday wasn't going to get the best of me, but somehow I fell. But we can do it. Time to dust off and get back on that wagon. We miss you terribly and can't wait for you to come back. Hang in there!!

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SPARKNMOM 11/27/2007 4:25PM

    And we miss having you here!! I hope these stresses end soon. We'll certainly be waiting here for you when you're able to return!! Thinking of you!! Holly

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Update on my stress!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ok... I gotta laugh because as the saying goes, if I don't laugh, I'll cry.

I am so overwhelmed at all the responses and hugs and well wishes and prayers and wonderful advice from my sparkfriends. I love you guys! You make me feel like I CAN and WILL get through this... and be smilin' on the other side! :D

Ok.. now, the update...

I got through the subbing. I did teach fractions for two days and I think I did pretty good because all the kids seemed to understand and did well on their work! (yay!)

deep breath

I am using Quickbooks for my church finanacial records, and I now have that all up to date. It didn't take long to learn. It looks different from my old quickbooks, so I was worried, but once I go into it... piece of cake :)

another deep breath

My hubby has taken over the cooking of the meats for Thanksgiving day, and I have enlisted family to bring several side dishes, so things are rolling pretty good in this area.

in with the good... out with the stress :)

However... I still have yet to enter the contribution records for church members, that's just long and tedious data entry that will wait until after Thanksgiving. I also still have to re-create my templates for my monthly reports for church business. Which means I need Excel on my computer, which I don't have.... yet. This I have to get done by the first week of December.

uh, oh... stress levels rising again !

I still have the float to do for my daughter's class, and still no one but the one has called... but... I do have a plan, so even if I'm the only one doing it all, I know what I'm doing and I can do it. I'm not going all out or anything, just a simple nativity basically, and lots of little drummer boys and girls :) I'm doing the drums with them Tuesday. (hey, that's tomorrow!) but again, I have a plan, so things should go smoothly. I love doing crafts with kids, anyhow. I'll do the trailer decorating on the day of the parade.

My kids have been helping out in the house cleaning area. I have been doing laundry all day today. so I can see light at the end of those tunnels!!!!

cleansing breath... in.... out.... smile! :)

Now for the crasher... MY computer. My laptop, on which I do ALL my own personal computer stuff, has some major problem. Last night my husband thought the hard drive on it had died. He said he felt so bad for me... Having 2 hard drives die on me in less than 2 weeks! Plus on my laptop are all my digital pictures and videos and documents and lots of other important stuff. I went to sleep literally sick to my stomach last night. I thought I had lost stuff that couldn't be replaced... but this morning, for whatever reason, my husband was able to get my computer to come on! He immediately networked it to my daughter's computer so that I could move all my stuff to a folder there for safe-keeping, as well has having a backup of some critical stuff on his thumbdrive. I am relieved that he got it working, but his next step is to figure out why it failed in the first place. So I don't know when that will be up and running.

stress rising again, oh well! :)

Keep on praying for me, and sending me sweet, peaceful vibes.

I will not be gone from here long... maybe another week...

deep breath.... again... out with the bad and in with the good!

Phil. 4:13!!!!!

I hope all of you are doing well, eating well, drinking your water, computers working as they should! :) No family crisis, clean (enough) homes and that you're looking forward to a wonderful day of thanks and being with family and friends.

In spite of all the stress, we all have so much to be thankful for!... each other. :)

BIG Hugs! and thank you!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBRA73 11/20/2007 8:52AM

    You will get thru this Renee!! **hugs**

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PANDAZERGZ 11/20/2007 12:06AM

    Well shucks I think you should have won some sort of an award for the overcoming of crazy week!! LOL B-R-E-A-T_H_E...yup. my Goodness! well I do ask God to bless ya and help you and your Thanksgiving will be so much fun and a blessing!

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JNORMAN1969 11/19/2007 5:09PM

    You are getting there, just keep on keeping on, you doing good. Hope you have a wonderful thanksgiving, and you will remian in my prayers, as well as the family since hubby is cooking LOL.

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Very stressful week....

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Aloha my sparkfriends and sparkfamily! I have not forgotten you, and I hope you've not forgotten me, cause I still need y'all.

This has been one of the most stressful weeks I've experienced in a very very long while. Let me tell you about it...

1- I am financial secretary at my church. I keep all our records, financial and contributions on a computer. My computer crashed. I mean totally and completely, wham bam thank you ma'am. The harddrive is dead. I lost everything. Yep, everything. Well, I did have a semi-current back-up for the finances, but everyone's contribution record bit the dust with the harddrive. I used to keep back-ups of that as well, but my flash drive had died, so I bought a new one, and for some reason that I never figured out, the contribution record would not save to the new flash drive. So now I have to go back to January's paper record and re-enter all our member's contributions, as well as getting my financial records up to date from my last save.

2. Good news... they decided I could get a new computer (yay!) but we couldn't find the original software to load onto it, not that it would work with Vista anyhow, so, I also had to buy new software and I am in the process of trying to learn it.

3. Did I mention that the 15th was payday for church employees?

4. I was called to sub this week.... EVERY day this week, all day every day. The teacher I'm subbing for, her mother passed away over the weekend. Very sad. So of course she didn't expect to be gone all week, and I had no idea what all she wanted me to do. I'm usually left with a schedule and lesson plan. Luckily, I had subbed for her Friday, and so I did have some idea where the kids were at in Science and Social Studies, but Math... that was different. Friday we had fractions, but then Tuesday her plan listed several worksheets that had nothing to do with fractions, So I had them do the worksheets while I came up with a lesson plan for the other subjects. Then, later that day, I found her lesson plan book (yay!) and amazing, I had planned nearly the exact same things! I made some small changes and finally we were rollin'.... except math. I didn't know if she would want me to continue on with fractions or something else. The principal called in another teacher to help me develop a plan. She's good. She decided to go with the fractions and she taught the morning class and I did the afternoon class. It went well, but I had several interruptions. Oh well. That's life, now I wonder what we'll be doing tomorrow.... one really good thing is that these classes are really good!

5. My husband and I take Operation Christmas Child boxes to the drop off center this Sunday. We haven't even made ours yet.

6. I had already invited my entire family to eat Thanksgiving Dinner at my house. Thinking I had two weeks to get everything in order and cleaned and a menu made, shopped for and cooked up.... I still haven't shopped, and my menu is lacking, and my house is a disaster area!

7. Laundry piles are now laundry mountains.

8. I was asked to be the head of getting together and decorating the float for my daughter's class for the annual Christmas Parade at school. There are 13 kids in her class, only 1 has responded to my letter of request for help. Someone who's willing to loan and pull a trailer for the float. I still need so much more help!

9. Next Tuesday I had offered to do a craft with my daughter's class... to make drums to use on their float during the Christmas Parade. Their theme is the Little Drummer Boy. Problem with that is, I thought I'd have had all week and would have my house in order by then. AND I'm wondering and even the principal's not sure if the teacher will return to school for the two days we'll be attending next week.

10. I've not logged my food all week, and I have eaten horribly. I'm too scared to weigh. I've been not eating all day, then coming home really hungry. My staples have been peanut butter, cream cheese and low carb tortillas. AND s/f chocolates. AND my water is lacking so much!

11. On top of all that, tom is here this week.

So, y'all please send peaceful prayers and thoughts my way! I've not abandoned Sparkpeople! I'm not giving up on my diet, I'm going to return!.... After I get some much needed rest and sleep! I was up past midnight getting payroll done, then taking the checks up to the church so they would have them today, knowing I'd be subbing all day and wouldn't be able to get there in the morning. I am so tired and overwhelmed. Please pray for me this week... for peace, rest and strength to get through all of this without drowning myself in added weight!

Love & Hugs to all my sparkfriends!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LISA32989 11/24/2007 1:19PM

    Big Hugs. Take a deep breath!

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BLARNEYGOD 11/20/2007 12:14PM

    WOW!!!! you are a very busy lady!

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HAARAJOT 11/19/2007 8:44AM

    When I read the first 4 points I thougt: "Luckily she hasn't lost her sense of humour" After reading the rest I am not so sure ...

You are a very busy lady!!!

I wish you lots of strength and succes. Hugs.

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RSMMCM 11/17/2007 7:45AM

    No wonder you haven't been posting! Don't worry about the diet right now, you'll do fine! Just try to keep your head on straight and hang in there. Wish I could help somehow, but I'll be here cheering you on from the sideline, I think we all will be cheering for you.


(What kind of software? I might be familiar, and maybe could give you some tips??)

- Mary

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TESSA_NJ 11/17/2007 7:27AM

    Just wanted to stop in and give you a hug. From the sound of your week, you need it!!


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KELSPRETTYGIRL 11/16/2007 6:26PM

    Oh, Nani! It's ALOHA Friday!
OK, now that I got that out of my system... Look, you're doing so much and you're trying to be faithful. You're still standing and that's amazing considering the week you've had. Don't stress about this past week. It's not your usuall practice and I believe that God will be merciful and give you all the strength you need to get through this weekend and the TG week to come, floats, crafts and all! Just take a gallon of water with you and tell yourself to drink. Take a bathroom break when necessary but keep on keeping on. You know I'll be praying for you. I know you haven't given up. I mean, you don't come this far to throw it out the window all because of a stessful week (or two, or an entire season... ) you can do this!!!
You know I love you and I'm NOT just saying that.

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RAMBLINREBECCA 11/16/2007 10:56AM

  Renee, you will make it.

Take time to make a list and start checking it off. Remember God doesnt give us more than we can handle it is how we manage.

I have learned that the hard way.

I wish I lived closer, I would be right there helping ya.

love ya

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JOVONN412 11/16/2007 10:14AM

    Remember my dear sister... "and this too shall pass"
Keep your head up and take a moment to breathe and spend some time with the Lord. He shall direct your path and help things move into place for you.

Great to hear from you again, and may you and your family have a blessed Thanksgiving day. That's what it's all about anyway.. giving thanks and spending time with loved ones. Don't let yourself get overwhelmed with all the preparation and miss out on the true joy of the holiday!

God bless

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SILENTPRAYERS 11/16/2007 10:06AM

    Many {{Hugs}} coming your way. You certainly have a full plate right now. Please take the time to take care of yourself to. {{}} Jalen

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TELANY 11/16/2007 10:00AM

    What a tough week during an already stressful time of year. Give yourself a mental pep talk every now and then- you have come so far. We have certainly not forgotten you and will be waiting for your return! Hugs

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KISMET1428 11/16/2007 9:52AM

    Just breathe... you have an awful lot on your plate and God knows that you are working overtime (and then some) and He will bless you for it. As for your laundry - honey take it to the laundry mat and either use as many washers/dryers as you need to get it all done at once or have them do half and you do the other half. I know it is an added expense, but sometimes you just gotta. The dinner... make a list and send hubby to the store. Order a turkey from a local restaurant, for that matter, order the sides from your local restaurant/grocery store. Your house... this is your family, I'm sure if you quit worrying over that so much it would be alright. So what if you have to stuff everything into the master bedroom and shut the door tight behind you, so what if you don't have time to dust and vacuum EVERY ROOM... and let's be honest... as long as you have soap and tp in the bathrooms, it's all gonna work! As for subbing... you can only do what you can do. I would be scared to death to try and teach fractions at this point in my life. The float... this is when you get the class involved too! Send home notes with the kids that due to lack of response you have no other choice but to assign tasks. Give a couple of parents the job of getting the materials, a few with a time to come and work on the float (with the kids!). Above all... breathe dear sweet Renee... it will all work, just believe in God and the strength that He gives us.

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LIBRA73 11/16/2007 9:23AM

    Deep breath, my friend. This will all pass. I wondered where you were. Now I know! Do what you can. You can't do anymore than that. You are human, don't expect superhuman results. You are a strong woman and you will survive this. Don't worry about the scale, the nutrition tracker, all of that will be there when all this is over. You will get thru this. **hugs, girlfriend!***

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JENNA222 11/16/2007 8:32AM

  Hugs, sweety!!! My thoughts are with you. It sounds like this week has been crazy. I hope it lets up a bit and you're able to enjoy a fabulous Thanksgiving.
More HUGS!!!

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JNORMAN1969 11/16/2007 7:55AM

    Wow Renee what a week and more to come it sounds like. Hang in there you will get through this, just remember the Lord never gives us more than we can handle, you will be stronger after it's all over with, sending prayers and hugs your way.


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SPARKNMOM 11/16/2007 6:30AM

    I had been missing you around here!! Sorry things are stressful and crazy for you right now. Sending hugs, prayers, and happy thoughts your way....

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MACPHATTY 11/16/2007 1:21AM

    Wow Renee! I'm tired just reading all of that. All I can say is: one hour at a time! Get done what you can and then... Go To Sleep! Good Luck, I will be thinking about you.

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JIMZGRL 11/16/2007 12:42AM

Good to see you still around. Sorry to hear you're going through so much! Big (((HUGS))) to you. Remember to sit back and just BREATHE! Your house doesn't have to be perfect, you don't have to serve a 10 course dinner, you just have to be you and be there for your family. They will understand! Hope things slow down for you soon!
Take care of YOU!!


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make that 3 lbs! :)

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm doing the happy dance! Today started out really good for me. I'm down another 2 lbs! Am I surprised? YES. I told my husband last night that I hoped to see 179.5 this morning. Well, I stepped on the scale and saw 177.5 this morning! WOW! I ran to get my camera. :) Was gonna take a pic of that! (like Heidi did before, very clever) And when I stepped back on with my camera, I was 178. :\ Hmmm. Oh well, I know I'm somewhere between 177.5 and 178. And 178 looks nearly as good as 177.5 today. :) My scales read in .5 lb increments, so it rounds to the closest mark, I reckon. I sometime wished it read in .1 increments. I loved the 177.5, tho, and hope to see that again tomorrow morning!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COFFEE_KISS 11/15/2007 6:02PM

    WOO HOO! I am sure that camera added .5, that is where the extra .5 came from. I love my scale because it measures in .2 increments, very nice, very detailed for anal people like me! :) So, get on the scale, have the camera nearby, and when the weigh is registered, THEN grab the camera and take the pic!!

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finally lost a pound!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

I was tickled and surprised this morning when I stepped on the scale and it gave me a new number! One LESS than that horrible number I've been seeing for over 3 weeks! Woohoo! It's about time. I did not expect it at all due to the higher calories, higher carb, lack of exercise and ice cream I've been having... but... I'm very happy with it! Today.

I have set my Thanksgiving Day goal at 177. That's 3 lbs in 2 weeks, which seems very do-able to me. I bet I could exceed it even if I would just exercise! Why is that so easy for some and so hard for others? :::Sigh:::



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