Sunday, November 11, 2012
Sodium! and I retain water like a sponge.
I hate it, but it's a fact... I don't know why I didn't think about sodium yesterday... I reckon Myrtle had something to do with that! Anyhow. this morning I woke WAY too early (3:00) and then could not go back to sleep... all kinds of things mulling around in my head, when all of the sudden I thought... Sodium! I got on up and checked my amounts for the last few days... and sure enough... Friday's was over 3000 mg higher than the rest of the week's days... so I'm 99.999% positive that is why my weight was up a bit Saturday. I was fairly certain it was water weight... now I realize why.
And yesterday my sodium was even higher! So I'm skipping today's weigh in. I'm also going to watch the sodium much more closely now!
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Myrtle is telling me evil things too... She's telling me to give up this morning, already. Yesterday's weight: 243.5... yesterday I ate 1390 calories and drank 88 oz of water, but I did not exercise. This morning, I stepped on the scales and I'm at 245. Why? I did not eat enough to gain a pound and a half, and I weighed after going to the bathroom about a dozen times throughout the night! Myrtle is yelling in my head... SEE? SEE? I told you this was all worthless and that you were wasting your time. You will never lose weight again, you will never be thinner. Give it up, eat what you want today... Doesn't pizza sound good???? Don't you want some ice cream after that... we can watch movies and eat cookies and ice cream, because that's what you like... you can't do this. Give it up.
I'm fighting her. It's hard... but I'm doing it. I'm not giving up.
The gain... fluctuations... it's water weight again.
The food... Early this morning I had a cup of coffee with cream and a banana for breakfast. We just went and picked a lot of greens from the garden for dinner today... and a few radishes. I've eaten two of the radishes... and I ate an apple. I'm good for a while now.
This afternoon we're baking a ham and making green beans and taters and rolls and of course those greens. I'm going to stick to serving sizes (measured!) and ... gosh... even right now Myrtle is saying we can eat a HUGE plateful of that good stuff. But NO. I will not give in to Myrtle.!
I do have plans for today... have several errands to run: picking up my grandmother's dresser from my mom's former home (she just moved), getting a couple things from a couple stores and shopping for things for our Operation Christmas Child boxes... then later ...that good dinner. Tonight will probably be leftovers. (I'm going to plan what I can eat to keep it around 1200 cals) and a movie with the family. I do have a busy day ahead... and Myrtle is not invited. :)
Shut up, Myrtle!
Friday, November 09, 2012
Ok... before you continue reading... I must warn you that this may sound silly to many of you, but this fun way of thinking about all this is helping me... and perhaps it just might help someone with some of the same issues I deal with... the Why Bother issue, the low self-esteem, no confidence, is it really worth it? ... those ways of thinking... well... this is how I'm going to fight it right now.... Besides, this is MY blog... So... Here I go......
Aloha! Renee' here again. The real Renee'. I'm a wonderful mom, a terrific wife, healthy, fun-loving, thin, sociable, enjoy outdoor activities. I'm active, willing to try new fun things, including really learning to surf :) ! I can climb a flight of stairs (or several) with no issues. I can wear anything I like, and I enjoy shopping for myself when I need something new to wear. I am smart, I am pretty, I am sexy! I am fun to be around. I enjoy dancing, and creating art, and writing, and going for long walks on the beach... even if they are crowded. :) I have no problems physically fitting in anywhere! I love amusement parks and pool parks! My husband can even lift me up! I love doing things with my kids and husband, I am confident, self-assured, and truely happy and the joy of the Lord is my strength.
Then there's another "me" she's the one I see in the mirror, the inner fat demon girl who tells me "why bother." She tells me to give up, that I'm not worth it, that no one likes me because I'm fat and that even if I was skinny no one would like me. She tells me I can hide behind fat... use it as an excuse to stay away. She tells me I should be embarrassed to look like this. She tells me I'm ugly and ain't nothing I can do about it... Then she tells me to console myself with food... and lots of it. She says the only joy I can truely have is found in a donut, or in a large pizza or in any food as long as there is plenty of it. She tells me I'm not done eating until my stomach hurts. She tells all the time to just give up the dieting forever, that it does no good anyhow. She tells me to stay at home all the time, so we can be alone with the food. And if we go out to eat, she tells me to eat a lot because we must get our money's worth... She's always telling me to throw in the day since it's often already blown. She tells me I can't go on a vacation, especially to a beach, or to a high school reunion, or to most social gatherings... what would people think of how fat you are, she says. We don't need to be around people. They just see you and think of how fat your are and talk wickedly behind your back. She tells me I actually prefer to lay on the couch and eat, that it's much more fun than ANY exercise I might think about doing. She makes me feel worthless and hopeless. She tells me she is my only true friend and that she loves me, but she truely hates me.
I hate her. I'm going to call her Myrtle.... So it's time to get rid of Myrtle. I have a plan to do it... I'm going to rid myself of her one little bit at a time... like in a horror movie. I'm going to ignore everything she says and I'm going to chop her up slowly and burn all the little pieces. It's gonna take a while, and there may be days where I feel like I just can't do it anymore, but I will find the strength somehow. I have declared war on Myrtle. There will be many battles... small ones that I'm taking one at a time... and I will beat her. Good-bye Myrtle! I am aware of you and I don't like you. I know what you are... soon to be history!
Saturday, October 06, 2012
So, I've done my inital weigh in for the start of this challenge... it was bad - 245.5 - but that is down from earlier this week (Monday) where I was 248.5... so I have lost 3 lbs this week. I have been doing better food wise... but wouldn't ya know it that day one of the challenge is leftover pizza and chili day. :) Ok... so I opted to make the chili cause it's a chili kind of day... highs in the lower to mid-50's, overcast, has been raining but stopped... and we have the fire ring out for later this evening. Along with marshmallows :). You just gotta have chili on the first REAL fall feeling day of the year... well we do anyhow. :)
But I'm ready for the challenge regardless. My treadmill is out and in front of a big window... my exercise bike is still in front of the big tv... and ready to be used, and I actually know where my exercise dvd's are. :) The thing is... where do I fit in the exercise? I hate exercising when I have an audience. Just a thing I have, so after work is kinda out... evenings are an option, but dang that's not a good time of day to exercise. When the family is in bed, that's where I wanna be, too. So there's the morning... getting up 1/2 to an hour earlier than everyone else. I have done this before, but don't adore it, although I am ALWAYS glad I did it and got it over with for the day. I imagine I'll be doing a combination of mornings and evenings.
Food... I'm ready. Going to keep carbs low (under 100 for now) and calories within reason. Going to shoot for 1000 to 1300. I'm striving for higher quality and less quantity. :) After today's chili indulgence... I'm gonna be strict.
This is the 3rd 5% challenge I've done. I've not lost 5% at all on the previous 2. :/ It's time I do. On December 1st, 2012, the last day of this challenge... I will weigh 233 or less.
Dear Fat Renee',
Love, Thin Renee'
Get An Email Alert Each Time OHANAMAMA Posts