Monday, February 27, 2012
I want and need to get healthy, fit, and lose 100 lbs. I will do this by:
1. Drinking Water - a minimum of 8 glasses each day... more is better.
2. Controlling my eating - by:
------a) increasing fresh fruits and veggies
------b) decreasing junk foods like cookies, chips, candy, and processed stuff
------c) making smarter food choices (100% whole grains over those that aren't, baked over fried, dark chocolate over milk chocolate, unprocessed over processed, fresh over cooked (when this applies) lower fat over full fat (in some foods) real foods over fake foods (like real butter over fake butter) and organic when I can... etc.....
------d) limiting the portions I eat of everything!!! I can eat so much at one sitting! I am going to learn to stick with one serving.
------e) keeping track of all I eat and drink. (this includes nutritional tracking) It's so easy for me to underestimate or mindlessly eat something and then forget it.
------f) eating a bit of dark chocolate every day.... because I love it and I can. :)
------g) drinking my coffee in the mornings without guilt... I love my coffee and it's something I like to enjoy daily, like chocolate. :) So I will allow myself this small indulgence, too.
3. Exercising - doing anything every day. I want to be active in my "old age" so I must start being active NOW or it simply ain't gonna happen.
4. Practicing Positive Self-Talk - I am the world's worst at negative self-talk... but I'm making a conscience effort to stop it. When I find myself wanting to put myself down... I will lift myself up.
5. Searching for Positive Motivation - from family, SparkPeople, Sparkfriends, quotes, sayings, posters, music, clothes I'd love to wear, favorite vacation destinations, sunshine, whatever gets me and keeps me motivated to be the best ME.
6. Increasing my Spiritual Motivation - my relationship with God always keeps my heart in the right place... and all things in proper perspective.
7. Choosing Happiness - in all things... even during trials, burdens, setbacks, fat days and rainy days... as well as during successes, accomplishments, skinny days, and days of sunshine. Happiness is an attitude and a choice.
8. Allowing Myself to make a few mistakes - I'm normally not very forgiving of myself when I mess up. I know mistakes will happen... and I know it's not the end of the world if I realize this and get over it... pick up... carry on... right then and skip the past mandatory self-punishment.
9. Not setting a time limit - I gained all this weight over many many years (up and down, up and down... never reached a goal, though) ... I'd love to lose it all in a short time, but I know that's not realistic for me... if this takes a year, that will be fabulous, but if it takes 2, then so be it... my health is worth the time.
10. Adhering to Unwavering Determination and Commitment - I will have to re-commit on a daily basis... perhaps sometimes on an hourly basis... but I will do this. I will not give up, give in or let fat get the best of me (as I have already for so many years)
So there it is... My overall plan to get healthy and lose 100 lbs. all spelled out in 10 easy to follow (just go with me here) steps.
I realize that steps 1, 2, & 3 are the ones that will actually get me thinner and healthy... Steps 4 - 10 will help keep me on track. Don't think I can do the basic 3 without all the rest. I have tried in the past.... and staying on track is a problem I had.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
I'm feeling thinner already!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
A. Age: today I'm 46... but I will be 47 in less than 2 weeks! (March 10th)
B. Bed size: it's queen size, but often I wish it were bigger. LOL!
C. Chore that you hate: take your pick... they all stink! LOL!
D. Dogs: One little sweetie... Daisy ... (why isn't C. Cats? I have several cats and I like them much better than chores!)
E. Essential start to your day: getting out of bed... then Coffee... duh.
F. Favorite color: I love orange... (sunshine colors) and greeny blues... I'll just call them Ocean. :)
G. Gold or Silver: Both. :)
H. Height: Well, as a teen I was measured at 5'8" at all my doc appts... at my last doc appt where my height was measured, 5'7"! I'm shrinking!
I. Instruments you play: air guitar, air drums... air. LOL!
J. Job Title: first... mom. my favorite "job"! otherwise, financial secretary, deputy clerk.
K. Kids: 4 terrific kiddos... Johnathan, Melanie, Christopher, Bethany and 1 husband that's a big kid at heart: Donnie. :)
L. Live: Arkansas.
M. Mother's name: Marilyn
N. Nicknames: Hmmm... I used to be called Nay and Nay Nay sometimes. :)
O. Overnight hospital stays: Just when I had my 4 babies. (boy: 20, girl 17, boy 16 and girl 11)
P. Pet peeves: ugh... rude people, people who don't pull up their pants, people who don't follow the "renee' rules of driving", text typing when you're not texting, poor grammar when speaking or typing. (although I'm probably guilty of that myself sometimes!)
Q. Quote from a movie: "I have crossed oceans of time to find you." Dracula (1992) "I'll have what she's having." When Harry Met Sally (1989) "We all go a little mad sometimes." Psycho (1960) I could fill up page after page of favorite movie quotes!!!!
R. Right- or left-handed: I'm a righty.
S. Siblings: a sister, Michelle, and a brother Steve... both younger than I am.
T. Tattoos & Piercings: Just my ears... 3 on the left and 5 on the right.
U. Underwear: meaning... do I wear them? yes. :) almost every day. LOL!
V. Vegetable(s) you hate: I really can't think of a veggie I hate right now.
W. What makes you run late: last minute forgetfulness, cats running in that need to be out... potty emergencies (tmi?)
X. X-Rays you've had: Just one.
Y. Yummy food that you make: Hey, everything I make is yummy, of course! But I make an awesome pot of chili! :)
Z. Zoo animal: Lion, Tigers, and Vampire Bats!
that was fun. :)
Copy and paste to your blog with your answers!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
This is a link to a short and wonderful video poem. I loved it, thought someone here might, too. :)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement on the loss of my grandmother.
I know the pain and sorrow of losing my grandmother will take time to heal. Some moments I am doing wonderful, feeling like I could handle anything and even nearly euphoric... and then just moments later something can trigger the tearflow and it feels like I will never be happy again. I reckon the fluctuations of my emotions are normal right now... at least I hope so... then again, I don't care. As someone told me, they are my emotions to feel and when I am ready, I can be happy. :) thank you.
My husband is trying to develop plans to help the happiness for me... as well as for my whole family. He's cooking up plans for a Floridian vacation. I love Florida... lived there for a bit as a child, visited many times since then, but it has been 14 years since my last visit and I am soooo ready. My youngest has never seen the ocean in real life... and she's 11!! So I really hope we can make this happen.
Not only will it be a much needed vacation, it will be wonderful incentive to get my rear in gear! Get Fit for Florida! :) So if I'm going to temporarily change my latitiude :)... I will have to permanently change my attitude! And it can start today (I'm having one of my euphoric moments!) I am so very psyched about this!!!
March 1st (one week from tomorrow) I will be going to see Jimmy Buffett in concert. I am psyched about this, too! Gosh... how can I explain... I know Mamaw would want me to be happy and healthy... and I know I need a new attitude about my weight and health... so NOW is the time. HOW, you wonder, does JB fit into that??? It's the music ... living life free of worry, chillin' out, being happy, basking in the sunshine with a smile and flip flops. :) well... for me that sounds perfectly wonderful.
The weather here is prodding my new attitude... it has been spring-like and sunny. I've been blasting my JB music, I've been pouring over tropical pictures... taking them in and dreaming of the day I can visit all those beautiful beaches... paradise.
Ya know what.... I need to celebrate that my grandmother is now in paradise... heaven with those she loves... including our God and our Savior! I am missing her here on earth so very much... but I know that she is loving where she is right now!
I want to embrace life and make memories and be happy, no worries... and it's all in the attitude. ...even when there are bills to pay and there's nothing left over... even when the house is a mess, or I'm still a size 18, or I'm missing my Mamaw so very much!!! I want to be happy... I want that attitude. It's time I grasp it and enjoy this life!
And sparkfriends... if you see me feeling down, posting the blues... remind me to re-read this blog... it makes me feel good!
~~Hula Girl at Heart~~
Monday, February 20, 2012
The last month has been harder for me and my family that it should have been. My grandmother had a bad uti, and was put in the hospital for antibiotics for a few days. Then she was released to go to a nursing home where my mom and aunt had arranged for her to get physical therapy. My grandmother did not move much any more. She liked sitting and watching tv and that was it, she had withdrawn from life... she was a constant fall risk and getting worse, so my mom wanted her to have physical therapy to get her moving again. We all agreed that this would be a very good thing for my grandmother.
One week at the nursing home she fell. I'm not even sure if they had started the physical therapy yet or not... we just don't know. Mamaw told my mom she got up to close her room door at 10:30 and that her knee gave out on her short walk back to bed. She said she knew they would come around at 11:00 to check on her so she wasn't worried... But they never came. Sometime during the night my grandmother pulled a blanket off her bed to cover her on the cold floor. Around 4:30 AM my mother received a call about the fall. Mamaw was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered that not only did she bust her head open bad enough to require several stitches, both her wrists were badly broken, and they both required surgery. That was done on a Monday night. They took her to ICU after the surgery because she could not come off the ventilator yet... she could not breathe on her own until the next day when she finally was able to come off it. She was in ICU for a couple days, then moved to a room... She was unable to use her arms, so she had to be fed and given drink by hand.
My mom would not send her back to the first nursing home (understandably, my mother is convinced that my grandmother laid on the floor for several hours before anyone found her.) so with the help of a social worker we found another good home that would give her physical therapy along with helping her as her wrists healed.
She went to that home on a Wednesday afternoon. She was there about 2 days, during those 2 days they had already let her enjoy a special, fully submerged bath ...twice. It seemed to be the right place... but on late Friday afternoon (Feb 3rd) she had a very massive stroke. She could no longer speak, eat, swallow, or anything at all and she was paralyzed on her full right side. She seemed to not "be there" a lot of the time... but occasionally she would focus her eyes on us and it seemed she knew who we were and that we were there. In addition to all that... she was very hard of hearing. ... this made it even harder because we had been communicating with her by writing on a white board prior to the stroke, after the stroke we could not tell if she could still read.
After several days in ICU, she was moved to a regular room... but she did not improve at all, including finding out she had pneumonia and a severe bladder infection along with everything else... and the question came up of whether or not to put in a feeding tube. I thought it was a no-brainer... of course we will feed her, however possible, but my aunt and mother didn't think that was the best thing to do. After speaking with the doctors... seeing her ct scan and how massive the stroke was, and knowing the slim chance of her recovering to any form of "normal" life... including being able to swallow, let alone feed herself, communicate... etc... they decided that just letting her go instead of artificially keeping her with us would be the best thing for her. on Feb. 9th she was moved to hospice care in the hospital. I struggled with that decision a lot, even though I know she would not have wanted to be kept alive on feeding tubes and IV's the rest of her days.... it is still a painfully hard decision to accept.
Mamaw slowly got worse, but was kept as comfortable and as pain free as possible. I sat with her many, many hours, as did my mother. She left us at 11:00PM Feb. 19th. I was not there, but I got there within minutes and she just looked just the same as before... very peaceful, very restful. I believe she died peacefully in her sleep. She was 85.
Through all this and on a very seemingly unimportant note, I threw in the towel on any dieting... and I'm sure I've gained back the bit I lost in January, although I've not weighed. The stress was so overwhelming that I just ate myself numb. I have been wanting to just stop. Stop everything. Sell all, quit all, move and start over. Everything feels like it's falling apart and is so overwhelming. I can't stop long enough to recover. I know Mamaw is no longer suffering/or in any pain... she is in heaven with her family that went before her and I know that one day I will see her again. And somehow I have got to recover from all the anxiety and stress and helplessness and sorrow I have been feeling.
Until then I have my life to live.... to the fullest, and that includes making sure my health and inactivity do not hinder my days. So it's back to the beginning and I'm trying to get ready to get fit and healthy so that on the day I die they'll be saying... "What in the hell was a 101 year old woman doing on a surfboard anyway?!?!?"
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