Saturday, January 10, 2009
So. You all curious as to what it is I am doing?
My brain feels safe in telling you now. I've already gone off the deep end with it.
Ella and I are Clogging.
This is how it all happened.
I signed up Ella for clogging...
We get there, and really there is no beginners class...Community ed messed up
The instructor gives her the option of taking a "crash" course with one of his best students, or signing up for the beginners classes in March.
She chose the crash course.
This means mom best pay attention, because Mom will be working hard on this at home with her.
Well, by the time next class came around I decided to sign up myself. There were other women my age there clogging...so I wouldn't be the only mom with a bunch of kids.
Somehow my neighbor and her daughter got conned by me to join as well. ;)
We learned some basic stuff. Supposedly 8 weeks worth of training in 3 weeks.
Then christmas break came along, and Ella decided that the crash course was just too much. So she and her friend will be taking the classes in March.
That leaves my neighbor and I to clog on.
Clogging you say?
(these are things I told myself)
what I have found out...
Its a major leg workout. I have yet to see a fat-legged clogger.
My legs are my problem area. :)
I love the social dance part of it all.
I love the challenge of learning a new song every week..its like putting a puzzle together, and being active. Kind of hard to describe.
I love getting out of the house.
I love having a physical hobby.
The one thing that would deter me?
Its mainly centered around country music.
I can't stand country music. LOL!
I actually don't hear the music much anymore.
Its mostly old country, so I can handle that.
There is rock and other songs involved, but its mainly country.
So even with that being said, I love it. I love the challenge, and the whole physical part of it. Its fun. Its fun movement.
On the physical, weight part...I am doing great. I am on track to lose that 10 lbs this year. (maybe even more).
I feel alive. I'm getting up early. I'm eating very well (healthy). Plus, I'm drinking water pretty good. I'm moving every day.
We haven't gotten into the swing of school yet after christmas break...that's next week.
I've painted the walls in my living room and entry. The color of my page.
Oh the hallway too...That's a greeny gold coffee color though.
I am loving my house again.
Well, I just had to stop in and let you know that I am alive! Ode to life is really alive. I'm livin life.
I hope 2009 finds you all movin!
I've found that moving naturally leads me to eating less...and more healthy.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Hello my friends. If any are left to watch me.
I am secretly (shhh, don't tell myself this) back and alive again.
What are some things I learned from the last fall? What are some things I'm not willing to compromise? Read on.
Well....I've learned to like me. Just where I am. Its a big one. Its a hard one.
I've learned that I do need to move some more, and I do need to eat some less. Don't tell my brain I've been doing that though, it will get scared.
I've also learned that I have to accept the place I am in.
Without that acceptance, its a constant fight. With me.
Fighting with yourself is no fun. So I just quit fighting. Yes, I gained weight, but I also was released from the fight...therefore I quit the sabatoge of myself, inside the head.
Yes, at first I ate and layed around like there was no tommorow...but that gets old after a while, and you start to feel more self control, and self worth...when the fighting stops.
I've learned it really can be small, subtle, good choices that can really change you.
I've learned that if I get too technical about this, I will flop. I will all of a sudden be running at full speed towards weight loss...leaving everything else behind...and we all know that doesn't win the marathon.
I need to be very sneaky. my brain is very paranoid.
I've learned to truly not use any kind of deprivation. Its really a lot of brain work.
I've learned that spark friends are always with you...even when you're not sparking.
So...what does that all mean? What am I doing different now?
I am not calorie counting for now. And I might not ever want to. I might not ever need to. Its one of those thing that gets too technical for me.
I also won't be calorie burning counting for the same reason.
I know how to do both very well. Really. I don't need to unless I get to a place where I really want to start defining my muscles.
I will not tell myself that I cannot have something because I am on a diet. or because I am making a lifestyle change. Or because "I am eating healthy now."
I don't bs myself anymore either.
I will not be sparkpeopling on a daily basis. Also too technical.
I WILL be moving more...I have a new class I started. Its not at a fitness center, or a gym...its not at my home though either. Its really fun, and that's all I'm saying. For now. Don't worry....its not something bad, I just have to keep my brain in check, and keep tricking it. If I talk too much about it....it gets too excited and wants to go gungho on the idea. So, just know I am having fun and moving a good amount of time.
I am eating better and drinking more. That's also all I'm gonna say about that.
I did get back up to 200 in November. That might have been the straw for me. I gained back half of what I lost. I knew I didn't want to keep gaining.
I am back down to 194 now...so only 9 lbs gained since my most lost this year. Not bad really.
It shows that some things are sticking.
I will only be weighing myself when I feel the need. Not- only once a month, or week. and not- every day.
Whenever I feel the need. Whatever the brain decides.
My goal for this year, is to be at 185...this time next year. 10 pounds.
Yes, I know I could lose more. I also know I could easily gain that "more" back....because it was lost in vain. It was pushed...when I wasn't really ready.
I'm ready to be at 185 next year. Who knows, it might be more loss than that. If so? fine. If not? Fine. Really.
I will be stopping in to see my long lost friends. So expect to hear from me sometime in the next few days. I'll be gone again after that for a while though. I'll drop in once and a while. School time is busy and fun!
Thanks to those that have dropped in and said hello while I was gone. Thanks for not chastising me. I'm sorry I haven't kept up with you...I've kind of had to get selfish with me though. I have thought of you!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
My my....I have been busy. Again.
We made our last trip out this past sunday. It was an awesome trip.
The leaves were changed where we went..and the campground was unbelievable. Its my new favorite. Although I don't know what it is like in the summer. It was actually kind of busy for fall. Mostly retired folks, enjoying their earned time off.
We rode bike 12 miles! There is an awesome bike trail connected to this park, and well, it was awesome. Fell in love with my bike again.
The hiking was supreme. Fun was had by all.
I'm 37 now. My husband keeps trying to tell me I am pushing 40...Then I remind him that he'll be turning 40 soon...he comes back with, "not 'til next year!" . January. ha.
My birthday was uneventful. I took care of my friends children overnight. We rented some movies and had some pop. We splurged. lol!
My thoughts on my weight loss journey?
well, I'm in a not so good place again in my brain.
My new goal is to lose 30 lbs in 3 years. 10 lbs a year. If I do it sooner than that? Good for me. If I don't? I'll still be on track.
I'm still doing the small things I was doing before, water...breakfast, healthy meals. But as far as moving more? I'm not going to sweat it yet. I want to change one thing permanently at a time. I know with exercise I can bust off 30 lbs in a couple of months...so lets get something concrete down first.
I gotta get that book out again, and just read it like CJ said, instead of trying to do everything it says. I'm just gonna read it.
Its going to be a busy few weeks ahead. I'll be sparse, but you'll all be in my brain still!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
I've had a great day already. I didn't get up as early as I would have liked to, but...there were circumstances behind that.
I Deliberately went out for a walk.
I set my mind to it yesterday, and today...I did it. Willie and I went for a good walk.
Was it earth shattering? nope. Was it strenuous? nope. Was it refreshing? YES. I felt great.
On the way home, I kept thinking, and actually started saying...its harder to be fat. Its harder to be fat. Over and over and over.
It is harder emotionally to be fat. Its funner emotionally to be fit.
You get to think happily about clothes. Instead of wondering if they have big enough, long enough clothes to cover your fat rear end. "do they have any new fun styles for fat girls?"
No. they don't and they won't.
I was reading Zircadia's page the other day, it might have been last night..and she pointed out in there that she was a fashion buff of sorts.
Well, I'm not really..in fact a t-shirt, or a sweat shirt and jeans is what I live in. I don't think I own anything that would make it at a funeral. I could limp by with something.
But Wouldnt it be great if I could wear some cute stuff?
See, my SIL use to be a big girl like me...She somewhere along the line, turned into a jogger. in the last 3 years, she has gone from a size 16-18 and sometimes higher, to a nice little 5, and she is having fun dressing and she's cute as pie.
I could do that. If she can do it I can do it. If Dana can do it, I can do it.
its going to take me a while, but I'm going to earnestly work at it.
I'm not going to jump in with both feet though. There will be days that I will. But really, I want things to stick.
I am so glad I did lose all that weight this summer...I really learned how to eat and when to eat, and some of that stuff really stuck with me, so I can easily go back to that now, and NOT deprive myself of anything.
What was I eating the other day? oh! Taco Johns taco. While I was busting butt this spring, all I wanted was a taco johns taco. I had one here and there, and they were sooo good.
Now I had one the other day...and it was nothing. Didn't do anything for me. Eating clean is gonna come in handy again.
Its fall, and I love to make soups and stuff. They last a few days in the fridge, so things will be in there ready to eat. I have a tub of cottage cheese in there...stuff with protein I can handle.
Anyways...off on some sort of tangent here. I don't know where its going, I'm just babbling.
So with a walk in already today, and half my water out of the way, I am ready to go teach them chitlins something they need to know.
Oh speaking of them...we're reading the LIttle House Series right? Like a lot of homeschoolers? lol well, we are only 3 hrs from Walnut Grove, and I am thinking we will need a Little house trip in a week or so. It has to be soon, because Aaron is getting his tonsils out (at the place I am comfortable with, if you've been following..we had our appt on monday, and the dr is great. He left the descision up to us, his tonsils are big, he's wetting the bed, not sleeping well, apnea'ing...so We thought about it for a few days, and we are willing to do it. I am willing to go through that hell again. Recovery is hell. )
So where was I?
Oh Walnut grove. Yes. I'm going to check into that. We are on the book that takes place in Walnut grove, so that might be super cool. the actual dugout where they lived is still there, and there is a museum and stuff.
We have been to Pepin, for laura Ingalls Wilder days..she was born there. That was fun too, but really it wasn't...I had an 2 year old, a 3 year old, and a 6 year old...Why was I thinking that was fun? It was to an extent..but this time, it would be a blast.
Ok enough now!
I have to go up.
That is Laura on the Right, and Mary is sitting...carrie on the Left.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
I'm ready to think about stuff again. Be warned, this may be an off again, on again cycle till spring. LOL!
I'm ready to make a small start up. Its called water.
I was thinking, water is easy. Its painless. It helps.
I was telling JBUTTARS about how I haven't drunk a whole 8 oz of water in a few months. Well, I know that's not cool. So, I've got my trusty water bong back out.
I'm going to throw out technical thinking at this point. Just for now. my crawl back again stage. I'll eat when I'm hungry. I will push the water a bit though. Its not hard with the water bong though.
That's it up there. Mine is black though. This one must be new.
That baby holds 32 oz of pure, unadulterated water.
It has a big spout you put your lips around..so no air gets in, and then it has a release valve on the other side. The water shoots in, and before you know it you've downed 16 oz of water. Just like a bong baby.
I'll fill it twice tomorrow. For the next 4 days. Then probably 4 more. I might fill it 3 times a day by then.
Heck, I still have my Protein powder hanging around. I can shake that up for lunch. Seems I'm never very hungry for food at that time. Well see what happens.
I'm ready though. To crawl again. Its harder to be fat. I was in wally world tonight...I walked passed the clothes, and thought...no way in hell I want to buy fat girl clothes for winter again. no way. I can't go back. I can't give up. Its harder to be fat.
So there ya have it.
As far as the Tonsils go, We go to see the Dr. we dealt with for Isaac on Monday. I'll decide after that appt where Aaron will get taken. I like to make choices. Like I said, the other dr was fine, but its the place. They have a class you just show up for, to show your child, and whomever else shows up, what will happen. At the place I am familiar with, the Dr takes you and shows you around. I like that more.
The hospital is 40+ minutes away, and there is a lift bridge involved. That sucker goes up every half an hour, and its the quickest way to MN for me. I still have to cross the bridge to get to the Dr. I am familiar with, but at least I won't have to drive another 35 minutes if my son is in the back seat and bleeding to death. lol! ok, maybe not funny. ha!
Whatelse can I enlighten you with?
Well, it was our anniversary yesterday. We had a fun evening. We had a meal out together, which only happens on these kind of things, and we went to the movies. I got to pick.
Thunder Tropic! LOL!!!!
yep. I actually kind of liked it. It was different, and I laughed.
He wanted to see the cop shoot em up movie, but I just don't want to sit through another one of those. B o r i n g.
He liked Tropic thunder too. lol
Schooling is going well. I have everyone figured out, and hopefully they'll be geniuses by the time they are 35. HA!
Its a full day though..no more morning school, afternoon free, with only 2 kids to teach. All 3, 3 different levels, all day. Its good though. I have it broken up well, and Isaac is doing lots on his own, which I like to see. The littles split the day on monday tuesday, and Isaac gets wednesday thursday. With work to do alone on your off day. sound good? wanna sign up for school?
Fogetaboutit! I'm booked. Read this blog, Its long and goofy. See, I'm already going gonzo.
So, anyways, now that this is a mile long, I'll shut up now, and go to bed. lol!
I feel good ne ner ne ner ne ner ne. Like I knew that I should now.
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