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Slow but working on it.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Would you believe: I managed to slip on the ceramic tile last night, and landed on my rear end. The worst of it was that I landed on my left elbow, which jammed an already unhappy left shoulder hard. It's a wonder I didn't break anything. Today the chiropractor said I also jammed my back really badly (it isn't feeling bad at all) and had knocked my pelvis out of place. He kept pushing on things and saying that my pelvis was crooked. The upshot of it is, he told me to go home, make a couple ice bags and lie on them. So here I am, back and shoulder all iced down, and no exercise again today. If I can't get going soon, my allowed calories are going to go back down to "she's a slug" level. Last week, with all that exercise, the minimum amount of calories I should have suddenly jumped by over 100 per day.

I have managed to get into my calorie range today, and got all my vegies and fruits in, so that is good.

Then, to complete my day, I got an estimate on the foundation repairs that my house is needing desperately with all the soggy wet weather followed by all the dry weather we have had the last couple of years. Right at $30,000. Ouch. Guess I'm not going to get the house paid off this year after all (sigh). I really wanted to be completely debt free, but the Universe seems to have decided that I would get spoiled if that ever happened. Oh, well. Just hope it doesn't force me to put off retirement when the time comes.


Decompressing and De-Stressing

Monday, September 05, 2011

I SO do not want to grow up to be my mother!!

Got back from visiting her in Iowa at about 5 PM today. I'm really glad my daughter went with me. It helps dilute the stress a little. I didn't do too badly as far as calories are concerned, but was certainly not eating WELL, and gave into the temptation to have one of my daughter's Pepsis twice. I'm not normally a soda drinker, but I find that my mother brings out my worst failings. And of course, except for a leisurely walk with Cara last night (which got us out of the house and gave us time to relax a little) there was no opportunity to do any kind of exercise.

Every time I go up there, Mom has to tell me again about every stupid thing (that she knows about) I have done in my entire life. I find myself cringing, desperately trying to keep my mouth shut, and trying to maintain my self-esteem. As anyone who knows me will tell you, this is not usually a major problem for me.

Plus, the woman talks constantly. I realize she is lonely and bored, but I also know that all of us have tried to convince her to move into a senior living apartment so she would have more companionship than we can give her, and she won't have anything to do with it.

So, anyway, I got back tonight, had a reasonably healthy dinner, and went for a three mile walk. That took a little bit of talking to myself. I came home from Iowa feeling like, "Oh, what's the use," and realized that one of the triggers for me to quit on trying to diet and exercise in the past has been a visit to Mom. This time, I've decided it isn't going to happen. She is not a major part of my life any more--which is purposeful--and I am not going to let her version and vision of me color what I am or what I do.

Back to working toward 205 pounds and a stronger, healthier body.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 9/6/2011 9:41AM

    Get your mom out of your head and get you into your head! All that negative talk can be so destructive, even if it's meant in the best way. emoticon

Good for you taking that long long walk! That is what you needed! emoticon

Personally, I have found that when my mind is restless (and it's not 2 a.m.) is to get out and go for a run or walk. Moving the body really settles my brain when it's full of rabid squirrels with lasers on their heads itching for a fight.

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I am doing so well!!

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Just realized that the weight goal I had set for Oct. 1, I have met today! Wanted to be 10 pounds down by the time I left for Scotland and Ireland, and today I am 10.5 down! New goal: be at 205 before I get on the plane!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 9/4/2011 11:57AM

    You are doing so well! And have so much to be proud of! Congratulations and keep up the great work!

emoticon emoticon

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READYRACHEL 9/3/2011 11:05AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Update on The Quest: GUESS WHAT I CAN DO!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Had my second grown-up swimming lesson tonight, and guess what!! I can let go of the side of the tank in 17 foot water, not paddle, and simultaneously not drown!! Our instructor, Marianne, tonight insisted that we are both too afraid of the water, and demonstrated that if she jumped into the pool and didn't move, she would pop back up to the surface of the pool naturally--then she got us to try it. Several times. Wow. And with that, she began to convince me that I am paddling too hard, and that it is self defeating. For the first time in my life, I feel as if I can be in deep water and not panic. For the first time in my life I have confidence that if I, say, fell out of a boat at Lake Ozark (local touristy spot with a GREAT BIG lake) I might have a chance of surviving until help could arrive. I can't tell you how freeing that feels. And, while I have always enjoyed splashing in the water, I am beginning to get the hang of some of the techniques, and am really enjoying the sensation of actually swimming. I am so proud and happy I could plotz!!

In the meantime, I have also gone to the gym where I got a trial membership every evening this week (Tues, Wed, Thurs, then tonight as well) in spite of having other things going on that forced this appointment with myself to be put off until between 8 and 9:30 PM for three of these days. I am feeling really good about myself for sticking to it. I am the slowest, least athletic person there most of the time, but I am discovering that NOBODY CARES. Also a feeling of freedom I have never had before. I was always the one nobody wanted on their team in junior high and high school, always the last one picked, and when I have been in situations where I was trying something out that the local athletes considered "easy", I have felt that they were sneering at me and putting me down for not just knowing how to do --whatever it was. Between Marianne, the very nice trainers at this gym, and the fact that nobody who is exercising at the gym seems aware I am there, let alone that I am going much slower than they are, I am beginning to enjoy this experience. That is another first, something I never dreamed I would hear myself say. And I just plain feel stronger.
Since it has only been a week that I have been doing all of this exercise, I suspect that is more psychological than physical, but I am sitting here feeling very teary-eyed as I write this. I feel like I have broken through a barrier that has been there my entire life, and there is a whole new world waiting for me on the other side. Would you just look at what I can do with a little encouragement and instruction, and a lot of Will power!!

And now on to the next challenge: My daughter and I are going to visit my mother over the Labor Day weekend, where she will feed us really strange combinations of food, all of it greasy and high carb, and where she will expect us to sit with her and play cards all day. I did train her when I was there a couple times ago that I need to go for a walk each day to keep from getting so stiff I can't move at all (arthritis rears its ugly head when I sit at the table holding cards for too long). Wish me luck. I'm going to take along a notebook to track in, since I will be off-line for the duration, and am going to try to hold it down to reasonable portions, although adequate fruit and vegies are not likely to be on the agenda.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAB210 9/6/2011 10:56AM

    I just saw this blog! How awesome for you! You are making such great strides and I am really happy for you! emoticon

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KATROSADO5 9/3/2011 1:32AM

    Good luck to you! I think I need to check on swimming lessons for myself too! You sparked me!

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Another problem I never dreamed I would ever have.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Well, today Our Heroine decided that she was going to do a trial at her "second choice" gym. I have to say that I really enjoyed it, although my thighs and legs, especially, are really aching now.

I got to the gym at about 4 PM, and signed some papers and waivers saying that if I hurt myself they can't be sued. Standard fare, but still a little distressing for one as incompetent in this area as I am. Then I changed into workout clothes ( I remembered my water bottle today!!) and one of the trainers started showing me all of the different machines and having me try them out. They were actually a lot of fun, even the treadmill, which is a lot fancier than mine. I figured out that the elliptical machine thing is probably not going to be my cup of tea--too hard on the knees. And I messed with every one of their "strength building" machines.

After my mini-lesson in how to make all of these machines work, I went on to use most of them again. At least I messed with the ones I could remember how to work. Going to need a review on a few.

I decided that I was going to do 20 minutes on the stationary bike, then do a few strength machines, then go home. By the time I got all of the first part done, I decided I wanted to try out a treadmill, too. Did another 10 minutes on that. All in all, when I decided I REALLY needed to leave it was 6 PM, and I had been messing with exercise machines for almost two hours. No wonder I ache.

Then I decided to take myself out to dinner on the "strength" of my commitment to exercise. Went to Ruby Tuesdays, but really did well holding it together: Salmon (with florentine sauce, but, oh, well), grilled zucchini, and roasted spaghetti squash, plus (sigh) a couple of their little cheese biscuits. Still, all in all a pretty healthy dinner, with lots of veggies.

So what is the terrible, horrible problem I've encountered amidst all this glory? I have absolutely no idea how to track all of the strength exercises I did tonight. I not only don't know how long I did them (or how many "reps" if you prefer), I don't remember what any of them were called. And there were different weights that could be attached to them all, and I was playing with some of the heavier ones. How do I record that? Even if I remembered how much on which machine, even if I remembered what that machine was called? Oh, lack-a-day, what shall I do? (Our Heroine now sits weakly, with hand to her brow, in an agony of indecision.)

BTW, I really liked this place, although it doesn't have some of the fancy stuff the others do. I may end up joining here after all.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OAKBORN 8/31/2011 9:37AM

    You are a heroine to be sure!

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SLIMLILA 8/31/2011 1:47AM

    Thanks for stopping my blog, so I came to see you too. I wish I had the problem you have, it may not end up being counted for your points but you know it counts where it needs to - in building up your strength!!! Hope you don't hurt too much, but remember to get back on the horse that kicked you if you do!!!

good nite..

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MRSWHITEWOLF 8/31/2011 1:40AM

    You did great! Amazingly great! Use the quick track and put number of minutes and strength, then enter on quick track number of min and write cardio. It is what I do on those days. Or you can go to the fitness section and do a manual...the quick track seems to be easiest. One thing, don't mean to sound mean or anything, but eating out, treating ourselves can be detrimental to all that we do....believe me, I just made that mistake. I ended up too high in sodium and paid very dearly for it. I decided, my treating myself out is going to have to be something healthy or buy / do something non-food. Just a thought. But you don't want to waste all of those wonderful calories by eating out. You end up undoing, what you did so great. Not that you would do all the time, but it delays our process of becoming more healthy. Hugs! YOU DID REALLY AWESOME! I am recovering from open heart surgery, am young, and wow, have some struggles and try to work out 2 hours every day. emoticon emoticon

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JANTWO 8/31/2011 12:27AM

    I think you did amazing!!!! Way to go!!!! emoticon

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NJHEART2HEART 8/30/2011 11:12PM

  Just guess!! and enjoy the afterglow of a great exercise day (and pray it doesn't "BITE" you later for overuse!)

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