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A hard day indeed.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

My day was going along as my day tends to do. It had a bit of a surreal quality to it, but it was okay... then my phone rang at lunch... it was my friend's wife calling to tell me he'd committed suicide. Everything just kind of stopped there. I howled out loud, my soul howled... I feel so for her, for the pain he must have been feeling, I wish I'd called him a few weeks ago when I'd thought of it... thinking there would always be time...

I am angry-hurt-stunned-confused-sad-feeling helpless-

I haven't eaten much today since I got the call, I'm just not hungry.

I took a good long walk with Markle, we are trying to understand. We have lost the best man in our wedding, a chosen brother to both of us.

If you are hurting, please reach out, don't fall so far into the darkness that you can only see one small door. Your pain ends but the pain for those you leave behind just begins.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RUNNER12COM 6/4/2011 2:23PM

    My heart breaks racing this, I'm so sorry for your loss and even more sorry for the pain your friend was feeling.

Help is always out there. It's horrible that some people never believe that.

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CARTER4414 6/3/2011 12:08AM

    Our thoughts are with you and your friend! I'm glad you have someone to talk to and share the grief with. Hold each other together.

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COOP9002 6/2/2011 9:39AM

    Praying for you and your friend's wife.

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NMMAMA2011 6/1/2011 12:11PM

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I lost a friend to suicide in 2003 and it is devastating. I remember feeling all of those emotions you listed, and sometimes all at once. Take good care of yourself, reach out when you need to talk. I will be glad to listen. You will be in my prayers.

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YAMINOKODOMO 6/1/2011 10:21AM

    I am so sorry to hear that, I havent experienced losing a friend or family member to suicide but, on a personal note, I know how it is to feel like your only way out is to end it all. Luckily I realized that things could change for the better and I didnt do anything to harm myself, but its hard to find out that someone close to you felt they didnt have anything left.

My condolences to you, and your family and friends emoticon emoticon

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ANNIEONLI 6/1/2011 6:56AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Thought and prayers are with you guys.

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BARCLE 5/31/2011 11:51PM

    emoticon so sad, what terrible news. Kind thoughts and best wishes are with you all emoticon

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Music Challenge Day #9

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Name a song that you can dance to...

I guess it depends on what kind of dancing you are talking about...

I'll throw out Safety Dance by Men Without Hats...


Day 8/Stupid People Tricks/Memorial Day/Ouch

Monday, May 30, 2011

Name a song that you know all the words to... there are a bunch of those since I'm a lyrics junkie... I will say "Why Paddy's Not at Work Today"... an old folk song that is very silly and yes I can sing it all from memory...

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight;
me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
and I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

While working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear;
now, to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea.
the foreman wasn't very pleased, he beeing an awkward sod
he said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now, clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
so I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
that a barrelful of building bricks was heavier than me.

So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
Well, I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
that halfway up I met the bloody barrel comming down.

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
and when I reached the top I banged the pully with my head.
Well, I clung on tight through numbed shock from this almighty blow
and the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.

Now, when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more;
still clinging tightly to the rope, I sped towards the ground,
and I landed on the broken bricks that were all scattered round.

Well, I lay there groaning on the ground, I thougth I'd passed the worst,
when the barrel hit the pully-wheel and then the bottom burst.
Well, a shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
as I lay there moaning on the ground, I let go of the bloody rope.

The barrel than being heavier, it started down once more,
and landed right across me, as I lay upon the floor.
Well, it broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
that I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not a work today.
Today's stupid people tricks score: 1. (There is a stretch of closed road where I like to run, so when I go down there, I count the number of people who ignore the 4 signs and have to turn around while I run, this amuses me.)
A special song extra dedication: Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down for the fallen, the serving, the retired, and all those, miilatry and civilian who are helping those in need in Joplin MO and around the world. ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=emm4VFvn2Jg )
In the meantime, I take it slow while my shoulders, knee and ankle heal...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSFORTE 5/31/2011 1:00PM


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COOP9002 5/31/2011 11:36AM


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LQUEST4754 5/30/2011 6:53PM


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Day 7 of the 30 Day Music Challenge

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Name a song that reminds you of a certain event....

This one is pretty easy too.

"Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns n Roses reminds me of Air Force Basic Training.

It was really popular at the time and when I was near a music-emitting device, it seems like I heard it.

For today, well, some relaxing in in order, as is some working out and good eating. Yep, a normal weekend day!

Hope everyone is have a great holiday weekend!


Day 6 of 30 of the Music Challenge...

Saturday, May 28, 2011

This kind of fun and it keeps me blogging everday... heh. Tonight I ran a straight 26 minutes, it was very smooth and nice. Felt so great after that. I decided to take the day off of calorie counting... no biggie since it's a decision and I've really got my eating in hand most of the time.

So a song that reminds you of somewhere is today's challenge... the first song that jumps to my mind is "Cursum Perficio" by Enya ( www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gzPaXVXQVw ). It's all in Latin, but in 1989 I was driving up into the Colorado Rockies out of a thunderstorm on tiny windy roads and this song came on. So it always takes me back to that dramatic drive... it was so amazing to slowly drive up out of that storm and to look down on it.


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