Wednesday, January 12, 2011
My best bud here just keeps me thinking... I kind of did a "3 years since I started this crazy ride" blog a couple of weeks ago. I am usually pretty thoughtful, but lately I have been very wrapped up in the minutiae of life... what I need to do to get "X" done on time... and yadda yadda yadda.
I have found it easier to sink into not thinking... or thinking about other stuff... like the tragedy in Tucson.... I guess I got all "thunk out" from my own personal stuff in 2009 and 2010. I have tried to mine my brain for deep thoughts, insightful thoughts, but they seem hard to come by... glimmers of revelation just out of reach like fish in the water... I can't string them together into anything of late.
Despite it all, I am getting myself back together and back on track in a lot of ways. It's kind of a tough slog... however, having iron in my system again is definitely helping. It's also making me kind of stir crazy to get outside, but that energy is keeping my exercise going and helping to prevent the winter blahs.
I am also setting new goals for myself... to help bolster the areas I was weak in over the holidays & in ...
1) 10K steps per day at least 6 days this week
2) Stay in calorie range at least 6 days this week
3) Meet calorie burn goal for the week.
I am doing better at avoiding the sweet treats that always seem to be in our kitchen here where I work... doughnuts sitting there... avoided... cake... avoided... I ate cheese/fruit/veggies/hummus instead. But then there are the chocolate bar days... I am working on those or making sure they fit in better once in awhile... snickers minis are wonderful, I just wish they made them in the dark chocolate version.
I have found, though, that late evening snacking is my real nemesis... those chips in the kitchen are a huge weakness for me, but I figure it's up to me to learn to avoid them, or not buy the ones I like.
I still am an avid fan of Jillian Michaels and the Biggest Loser, watching each season, cheering the contestants on to their wonderful transformations. I know that most of us can't do what they do, but I like the show because I believe it shows what is possible and how much it changes your life. I also like how the show portrays the fact that it's more than just weight loss. Usually people who have put on a lot of weight have a lot of other baggage to go with it.
And you know, that work doesn't end as you reach goal... the fat girl is always in there nagging, bugging cajoling, etc. Even though I have managed to maintain my weight loss in the 145-150 range, where I want to be... and even though my legs have amazing muscle definistion... and even though I can't pinch more than a little on my hips... and even though I wear jeans in the size 6-10 range (depends on maker)... and even though I have nice tight obliques... and even though I exercise faithfully... and eat well 80% of the time or more... I still look down at my thighs and think they are fat.
But I will stay part of the 10% for both my health and because I have to for the Army. Two good reasons, one internal and one external. Also I love to run and exercise and feel vital. I also know that the reason I hardly get sick is due to my good habits. Exercise is so ingrained in my existence that if I skip a day, I WILL be up the next day because my body will be complaining at me to do so. I also can only indulge a day or two because my body just won't feel right when I get too much junk on board. So more than just being a habit, healthy living is a compulsion... I'm just not right, I'm just not ME without it. It drives my family nuts, but they really don't understand. And I can't explain it to them... sort of like trying to communication the exhilaration I felt when I got my iron levels back up and was able to run.
And on the running, I am so happy, despite the winter weather outside, I am running on treadmill and I am able to run 4 minutes straight at 5.5 mph now. It's easy, it feels good. I should be able to bump up to 5 minutes stretches next week, which will put me in a good position for the Army PFT in May.
This year looks to be interesting. I will be going to Washington DC for an Army training class next month. In March we are taking vacation to go to Chicago and visit friends. In April, I will have weapons qualification for the Army and we should be going to a convention in Louisville, KY. June I hope to run a 5K, if it's not drill weekend, I will also have 2 weeks Annual Training for the reserves. July will be another convention in Indianapolis. With any luck, I can go back to Indy for another convention in August... then shot season will start for school and flu in the civilian job... October brings a convention in St. Louis... and then the holidays will roll around before we know it... a lot happening, some new adventures. I hope to get to New York this year too.
Wow, that got long winded. Not sure how philosophical or deep it was... but it felt good to just write.