Saturday, August 29, 2009
...still no orders from the Army and the 45 days is Monday. I'm sure my recruiter is as antsy as I am. So we continue to wait.
The drama as settled out some... it's mostly a hum in the background of my existence. I can at least live with that. I used to have a bad habit of shoving down emotions all the time and then I'd explode when they got to be too much. Mostly I don't do that anymore, but there have been so many emotional upheavals this year that I fell back in to the (bad) old habit without even knowing it... and so the cracks have been forming... and I've had two emotional boilovers this week. It will pass once it all gets cleaned out, but it makes the present moment... interesting...
The 17 year old is still a mess. It's not good, but there is little we can do. I fear she is in line for some really tough times, mostly due to her own choices.
I'm running and stuff, working up to somewhere above minimum Army standards... that way I won't have to worry about getting up to snuff, I can just start there. I can do 15 full push ups now and I ran 2 miles last night in 20:20. Need to count sit ups to see how I'm doing there as well.
Meanwhile, life goes on...
Thursday, August 20, 2009
It's a crazy thing. This year has been like someone sitting in Imelda Marcos' closet merrily pelting me with shoes (as in... waiting for another shoe to drop). I thought the drama llamas had chilled out, but that belief turn out to be unfounded... some more walked into my life.
The story is far too complex to go into... but suffice it to say, I am under some great emotional stress right now.
So track track track the food and wear out another pair of tennis shoes...
...and wait for my orders from the Army, literally any day now...
Monday, August 10, 2009
Friday was Mr A's birthday... it was very nice. He wanted grilled salmon and steak, so we just bought some good stuff from the meat case and had a feast. He wanted software for his birthday, so he downloaded that and was happy.
Saturday, we had drama, too much drama. I will leave it at that.
Sunday was great. We went to Illinois and had lunch with some good friends. Then we had dinner with some other friends and my boyfriend from my senior year of high school who I'd not seen since he dumped me 25 years ago. But it was actually great to see him. Once we got talking, it was fine. Some jitters beforehand, but that quickly resolved. Luckily we had been chatting quite a bit online and got a lot of stuff out.
Today is aggregating my feces and banning drama llamas from my life.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
I actually meant to blog the milestone on Sunday... but was busy getting lessons sent in ridiculous packaging... good ones, but my brain was kinda 'splodey.
I ran a 10 minute mile on Sunday, so that is going well. I also did 30 day shred level one... I want to do it 10 times straight, every other day then move up to level 2 and then level 3... to make it more of the 60 day shred. I also walked an additional 2 1/4 miles with hubby in the evening. My 10K steps was easy. I also have myself up to 14 full-out push ups and I did that twice on Sunday.
For the Army PFT (Physical Fitness Test) I have to be able to do a minimum of 12 push ups & 32 sit ups in 2 minutes and run 2 miles in under 24 minutes. I am getting to the minimums already, so I am very confident in my ability to achieve much higher.
So 11 months in maintenance has found my weight creeping up a little bit... but it's easy enough to fix... back to the program. I haven't gotten out of my range, but I'm getting near the top. So I've dropped my calories by several hundred and am upping my exercise. I'm also concentrating on the fruits and veggies more intensely than I was.
I mentioned lessons wrapped in ridiculous packaging. Well, I have been chatting with my high school boyfriend, the one I was going to marry, who abruptly dumped me about a month after graduation in 1984. I dealt with it back then by shoving all the emotions down and then living recklessly for most of the next year, never connecting my behavior in that time with the pain. I have gotten a lot of insight into things from these conversations and remembering. It's actually been quite cathartic and healthy.
Somehow I don't think I would have been able to do all the emotional work this year without the strength I have gained from losing the weight last year. It all goes hand in hand.
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