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Body Image Issues: They don't go away, they just change...

Saturday, May 16, 2009

During my jog this morning, I had a comment by my good friend Jessica pop into my head... we had been talking the other week and she was being concerned with being overweight and I said that I had my own body image issues (saggies, stretch marks, scars, etc), and she said, "But you're skinny."

It really put into perspective how no matter what you weigh, we are prone to body image issues... even if others don't see it. We are very internal creatures and have such subjective views of ourselves and a lot of the time others don't care or just don't see it.

I know what when I was heavy, nobody believed that I weighed as much as I did. I also preferred to listen to others and NOT look into mirrors or have my picture taken. However, now I am glad that I do have a few pictures so I can remember what I looked like and compare it to new images.

Today is going to be a great day! I have my dear friend Daryl visiting from Florida... as well as Jessica (friend from forever also) and Renee (best friend since 3rd grade)... all getting together with Mark and I today. I am very very very happy about this.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEONLI 5/17/2009 9:46PM

    So true...so true. We see ourselves thru different glasses than others see us...and they don't go away, they just change. Embrace what ya got is my new motto!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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The last few weeks flew by in a blur!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The H1N1 Novel Flu Virus has died down for now... so we are not at high alert right now, but surveillance efforts are still increased mainly due to the fear about the mutations this flu virus will inevitably undergo... which could be good or bad. (Note: The 1918 Flu Pandemic was preceded by a smaller bump pandemic... when that virus mutated, it came back with a vengeance and 40-50 million died worldwide. I'm not saying this to incite fear, but inject reality.)

In the meantime, life has been busy with regular stuff. I've managed to keep on keeping on. Went to southern Missouri with a friend last Friday and nearly got blown away in a land hurricane :D. All of our plans were quashed but we laughed our way through it, enjoyed the road trip and ended up at her house watching movies.

I had a real emotional catharsis day on Monday... just so much going on, it came to a head like a pimple and exploded. I really didn't see it coming... so it wasn't much of a good day... and yet it was. I have been feeling much better each day since. I have found that now when I'm stressed, I stop eating and exercise like a maniac. The latter half is healthy, but the not eating isn't... and so I force myself to eat... I hate eating when everything tastes like cardboard.

Tuesday night was really fun, we went over to our friends' house and watched the Biggest Loser finale! They made barbecued beef and we brought salad and pumpkin pie. She is gluten intolerent, so I found a great recipe online for an EASY brown rice pie crust that we all REALLY liked. It's light yet firm. MMMMMMMMM.

Still in MaintenanceVille... hip is all better and I'm back to vigorous running/walking and generally feeling good. Daughter is doing well. Son is good. Both are looking forward to the end of school, to be sure. I love my husband. I get to see an old friend this weekend... Daryl will be in from Florida. I have been getting reacquainted we another old friend, Jess... LIFE IS GREAT! LET'S CELEBRATE!

Had a dream last night of going through Army Basic Training and all it was was paperwork. The board is due to meet on the 19th of May. I don't know how long it will be after that when I find out. I would like it to happen, but if it doesn't, it just isn't meant to be. I really am that copacetic about it.

Life goes on and on, life in transition, life goes on and on.


Hip better... and *DOH*... today is 8 months in Maintenance!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

Despite the tough week, this is a great thing to realize!

I actually managed to do Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred level one today and that felt GREAT... I am having to ice my hip a little bit. I'll walk later to hopefully get in my 10K steps for the first time in days.

It's all good.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBRARIANJEN 5/14/2009 8:29AM

    I'm sorry-- I didn't even see your new posts (even though I check your page every time I come on SP.) Hope your hip is feeling better! I have a lot of issues with one of my hips, so I've added in rehab exercises to do even when it's feeling good. (Except I've been lax on those lately. Sigh.)

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ASMPD2 5/4/2009 12:03AM

    Glad to hear you're slowly recovering. Go rest that hip... you'll need all the rest you can get if your week is anything like this past week!


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ANNIEONLI 5/2/2009 6:23PM

    Oh! So good to hear!!!!

"You lift me up!" as the Josh Groban song goes Maintenance buddy!


Yay to us! emoticon

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An incredibly hard week...

Saturday, May 02, 2009

By the time I got home last night, I felt like I'd been beaten with a baseball bat. There was very little downtime at work... with the rise of new flu and a pertussis (whooping cough) outbreak spilling over into the county I work in, I was very very very very very busy.

I've got my communication network with healthcare providers in the county set up and working well... and plenty of other things flowing smoothly for the flu epidemic (only once case on the other side of my state so far).

Then there was investigation on 5 cases of pertussis (whooping cough) with 6+ more to complete in the next few days. There are also rumors of up to 6 more cases in a different school.

On top of all this, my right hip has been painful all week... I pulled something, probably in the sacro-iliac joint... and it is getting better, but I have barely exercised because of it. I hope to start getting back to it today.

I am supposed to go to St Louis tomorrow for my niece's bridal shower... part of my wants to hibernate at home since I'm anticipating another "exciting" week. I think I may just go on my own and get some quiet time driving in the car... that sounds nice.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEONLI 5/2/2009 1:19PM

    Hang in there girl! "This too shall pass"
Go and have a good time at the shower. Sounds like you need something non-medical (including your hip thing) and social in your world right now.

So go pick out a nice outfit and SMILE emoticon and breathe!

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Reflecting back again...

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Being chosen as a featured motivator earlier this week was really cool and yet I don't feel I've done that much... just kind of decided on my course and followed it until I was done. It was hard some days but overall, it was what it was. In some ways maintenance is harder... you can kind of loosen up on eating but you have to temper that without going nuts.

I have so many thoughts while working out and they seem to go *poof* once I am done unless I make a point of remembering certain things.

Yesterday at work was interesting... my boss, who I really do love, is very large and she just seems to want the easy/magic bullet to drop her weight... it just makes me think of one person asking how I lost my 60+ lbs and then saying, "oh I couldn't do that" regarding counting calories and exercise.

The real key to weight loss is to find what works for you and to do it. However if you say that you can't, then you can't... a favorite quote of mine reflects this, "Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they are yours." (Richard Bach in Illusions). I just wish people could understand that the basics are really simple... it just seems that we human beings in our infinite wisdom can't "get" that... we want to take that relatively simple equation of calories in vs. calories out and complicate it with low carb - no carb - no fat - points - etc. This is not to say that individuals and their different metaboli will all glide through the process flawlessly, but you can do it... IF YOU WANT TO & SET YOUR MIND TO IT.

However losing weight is more than just a physiologic process, it is an emotional process and a change process... and I think that a lot of people aren't ready for the latter parts of the process. This is the lure of the magic bullet... you don't have to work for the end result... and human beings love to get a lot without having to give much. Humans also hate change... to quote Wayne's World, "We fear change."

I had jury duty today and was dismissed by lunch... so I got to come home since I don't have transport to my job 20 miles off since hubby needs the car today. So I am getting to watch an Biggest Loser Season Finale and it's always so inspiring for me. I think watching the show in the fall of 2007 really got the idea into my head that I "could" do it, even though I did do it in 1989 to go into the Air Force (I went from 175 down to 140 through counting calories and exercise).

I have vowed that this time will be different... I won't go back. I will keep the weight off this time... this is because I really have learned how to eat better and because exercise has become a part of my life.

I have tackled all the challenges, but the challenges continue everyday... with variable intensity.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEONLI 5/1/2009 11:13AM

    Amen Right back at ya Jenni! Great blog! Now if only SP alerted me like I asked, I would have been here 2 weeks ago to read it! LOL Have to resubscribe....AGAIN! And that was when my poop hit the fan for me! but you were there on my blog and it's much appreciated :)

We are keeping it off this time - together.

Congrats on that motivator thingy too!!
Where the hell have I been the last 2 weeks? ROFL emoticon

Comment edited on: 5/1/2009 11:16:17 AM

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ASMPD2 4/26/2009 11:07PM

    Thanks for all of your insights, and just like you've been there for your friends, we'll be there for you even during maintenance-ville. I agree that it's not just physical, that it's emotional too, and that's where friends come in... to remind us what we're worth!

Take Care!



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