Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Yesterday was the big 3 month mark in maintenance. It kind of got me to thinking... more just random thoughts, which I can hopefully forge into a coherent blog post.
I'm at work today, it's been pretty busy, but there is little I can get done in the last 15 minutes before lunch, so...
First off, your journey to becoming the person you want to be doesn't end when the scale has the right numbers on it and your soul (and perhaps mouth screams) "GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" You have to remember that you have made a lot of changes that take time to absorb, no matter how successful your trip to MaintenanceVille has been.
Admittedly, my trip was really pretty easy as far as trajectory is concerned... 2 plateaus of about a week each is really nothing compared to folks who do EVERYTHING right and still end up plateaued for months at a time.
But still, in my mind, though I'm wearing S-M shirts and 6-8 pants/jeans, I still expect to see the "fat girl" in the mirror. I still clumsy and lumbering like she was, not the limber healthy & active woman I am now. My mind STILL has trouble with the reality. I actually take the time to look in the mirror, rather than avoiding it... still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the person in the mirror with the reflection that I LIKE really IS ME.
However, when I am shopping for clothes, I can look at a pair of large jeans (like size 18) and see they are way too big for me. I also have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that those once would have fit me.
I also find now that I LOVE wearing form-fitting clothes. Maybe at 43 it's not supposed to be appropriate (I'm not talking teeny-bopper clothes), but I like things that allow me to flaunt what I've WORKED for!
No matter what though, I am a happier person and I am now understanding that this is an ongoing journey and not a destination in and of itself. When I first got started, I knew I was signing up for the rest of my life... and that this would become my life. And you know, I'm at peace with that now. I like where I am and how my life is going. I'm happy that I want to exercise... so I do it. It's really a matter of changing your habits and change is hard.
Another thought regards the meaning of maintenance and how that looks in my life... how that works into my life. I have loosened up a little on compulsive tracking of everything and 100 day exercise streaks.