Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Well, with the help of Zicam, sleep, an extra day off, etc... I feel much better and though, while still kind of draggy, got my health and my mood back on track.
So what that my long list didn't get done... I will do what I can & to heck with the rest!
The tree is up with ornaments, we have the stockings hung and some lights in the living room, all the gifts (but for 3) are wrapped, and I have all my old clothes sorted into bags to be given away, my craft corner is clean, and all my current clothes put away in either my dresser or closet.
Considering how I felt all weekend, that is pretty impressive. It's also a great jumpstart for getting my house "fit" in 2009.
My first baby step for 2009 is to NOT let my laundry touch the floor, it has to be folded/hung and put away! 2nd baby step is to not have more than one project by my chair in the living room at any given time.
I think I was much sicker than I realized or something like that. I lost 2 lbs since last week... and I thought I was eating a lot... and I even didn't exercise on Sunday since I was feeling achey and sore and wrung out...
Hubby has strong forces arrayed against me. He wants me to gain a few pounds back since I have dropped below the bottom of what I said I wanted to weigh when I started this whole thing. So now he, our daughter and my mother in law have all hollered on me. I am NOT trying to lose more. I eat nearly 2100 calories per day... but I just can't seem to gain weight. How did I get to this point?
Sunday, December 21, 2008
I poured a lot of energy into cleaning the house on Friday night... hubby made me a red-eye (coffee w/ espresso) with double espresso shots or maybe more... so I was caffeine-powered and got an amazing amount done.
Then Saturday, I managed to get Mr A to his cello lesson and was in a very bad mood since I have been needing, not just wanting, a day when I can just stay home... but I have been running running running every day since at least the 22nd of November. Add into this the fact that I've been trying to catch up with my own rear end for the last several months... and just can't seem to get caught up on anything. AND my mother in law arrives tomorrow.
So anyway, I was very stressed but walked to a nice place downtown to grab some lunch during Mr A's lesson and then went to starbuck's for my favorite brain cell enhancer... gingersnap latte, no whipped cream, skim milk, very tasty! However, while I was looking the the latte selection, I got the familiar feeling of pressure in my sinuses and slight headache, which let me know I was coming down with a cold... a very annoying one.
So my brain and energy are sapped and I'm looking around at the stuff that needs to get done rather helplessly. The tree is up but has no ornaments. Christmas cards aren't done. The house isn't clean. My mom-in-law's bed isn't done. No other decos are up. No presents are wrapped. No cookies are baked. I feel like such a slacker, but after working all day, it's hard to come home and jump into things.
The only time I seem to get that is totally for me is my exercise and sleep time. It does help with the stress... but I just feel pressed and frustrated lately.
What I have accomplished is getting my clothes thinned down to thin clothes. FIVE bags going away!! I also have my clothes ALL in my closet and dresser. I am a lousy housekeeper, so this is a major feat for me.
This is why I want to get my house fit in 2009.
On a happier note, I did find a cheaper way to get Podfitness! If you go to walmart.com, and look under the fitness accessories, you can get a 6 month prepaid card for $30 plus tax & shipping, but that is still about 1/2 of their quarterly rate!
And it's been awhile since my free trial ended... and they just continued my membership where I left off! How cool is that?!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Well, I'm up to nearly one year since I began this journey, and it will be about 4 months of maintenance too. January 1st for the former and January 2nd for the latter.
I think I'm getting the maintenance thing down. I continue to track because it makes sense to my head... and it keeps me accountable. I haven't gained any weight yet. I plan to keep it that way.
Hubby thinks I'm exercising too much and says I just need to eat less. However, I like being able to eat and I like exercising.
Tonight I had a great hour on the TM while watching the Biggest Loser Finale. I was in tears during the finale! There were several people who got off heart meds and the like... and even have gotten so healthy that life-threatening conditions they were suffering from have disappeared. It just pumped up my motivation and nailed the reasons I am doing this to my heart.
I am so excited about the next Biggest Loser Season, it's become my Must See TV!
So I managed to keep my 2008 Resolution... in 2009 I have figured out a new one and plan to use the same strategies that led to my 2008 success. This year, I am tackling my house! This is huge, I have been a pretty bad housekeeper since forever... but if I work on small measurable goals to change habits and establish new ones, just like with the weight loss, I will have a clean house that remains clean. Hopefully I can get my family on board with this.
So all that, plus staying part of the 5%!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
That line came up on one of my Podfitness workouts and got me to thinking about how a new lifestyle has its only finish line the day I die, but is my new state of living and going forward.
Then I was running on the treadmill the other day to random songs and The Red Shoes by Kate Bush cycled up... it really sort of described how I was feeling... The song is based on the fairy tale about the girl who puts on the dancing shoes and then has no control over her feet.
Oh it's gonna be the way you always thought it would be
But it's gonna be no illusion
Oh it's gonna be the way you always dreamt about it
But it's gonna be really happening to ya
Really happening to ya
Really happening to ya'
I think the lyric really puts the weight loss into perspective... you have to be prepared for the reality of what you are wishing for!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Yesterday was the big 3 month mark in maintenance. It kind of got me to thinking... more just random thoughts, which I can hopefully forge into a coherent blog post.
I'm at work today, it's been pretty busy, but there is little I can get done in the last 15 minutes before lunch, so...
First off, your journey to becoming the person you want to be doesn't end when the scale has the right numbers on it and your soul (and perhaps mouth screams) "GGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!" You have to remember that you have made a lot of changes that take time to absorb, no matter how successful your trip to MaintenanceVille has been.
Admittedly, my trip was really pretty easy as far as trajectory is concerned... 2 plateaus of about a week each is really nothing compared to folks who do EVERYTHING right and still end up plateaued for months at a time.
But still, in my mind, though I'm wearing S-M shirts and 6-8 pants/jeans, I still expect to see the "fat girl" in the mirror. I still clumsy and lumbering like she was, not the limber healthy & active woman I am now. My mind STILL has trouble with the reality. I actually take the time to look in the mirror, rather than avoiding it... still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that the person in the mirror with the reflection that I LIKE really IS ME.
However, when I am shopping for clothes, I can look at a pair of large jeans (like size 18) and see they are way too big for me. I also have a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that those once would have fit me.
I also find now that I LOVE wearing form-fitting clothes. Maybe at 43 it's not supposed to be appropriate (I'm not talking teeny-bopper clothes), but I like things that allow me to flaunt what I've WORKED for!
No matter what though, I am a happier person and I am now understanding that this is an ongoing journey and not a destination in and of itself. When I first got started, I knew I was signing up for the rest of my life... and that this would become my life. And you know, I'm at peace with that now. I like where I am and how my life is going. I'm happy that I want to exercise... so I do it. It's really a matter of changing your habits and change is hard.
Another thought regards the meaning of maintenance and how that looks in my life... how that works into my life. I have loosened up a little on compulsive tracking of everything and 100 day exercise streaks.
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