Saturday, April 19, 2008
Don't get me wrong... I love the changes that have taken place... but I'm still trying to figure out when and how it all happened.
I wake up in the morning now planning when will be the best time to exercise in my day (should I exercise at lunch @ work or should I wait until I'm home from work and do my 2 mile course through the neighborhood, etc.) and how I want to structure it... do I want to do the short video at work and then do some strength stuff at home after work.
I also think about what wonderful healthy food I'm going to eat that day... like what salad do I want to create today & how can I fit low fat protein into that? Do I want a salad with my healthy TV dinner or what?
I thought for awhile that I was burning out on salad, but instead I just keep changing what I put on it and it really hasn't gotten old. I just love them because they are a great way to concentrate on my veggie/fruit servings and getting them in first.
The last thing I would call myself is deprived when it comes to food. I had a couple of cookies each of the last 2 days, but you know, it was only 2 each day and it was enough.
It really feels like a switch has been hit in my head, but really I think it's been being pushed slowly into its new position for the last few years...
In my late 30s I started not being able to finish the huge plates of food in restaurants. I started eating appetizers as my meal. Then I started disdaining greasy food and burping fried food. My body was changing as I was getting older, but really for the better. My eating was slowly improving but I wasn't fully conscious of my food intake and I don't think I wanted to be.
Despite the changing diet, my weight was still creeping up because of no exercise and the only partial consciousness of my eating. I am also inherently lazy and in that lies the real reason of my weight gain.
I am not an emotional eater, though I do love rich foods.
I am a sensualist and rather selfish, so that combined with being lazy, basically meant I wanted to eat what I wanted, when I wanted with no restrictions... which led to unconscious eating.
Combine that with working nights for my first 3 years as a nurse and having no regular sleep... talk about a perfect storm for unhealthy behavior!!
However, I think that being a nurse has fed into this change as well. I did not want to become diabetic and lose a leg, become blind, inject insulin everyday, etc. I didn't want chronic high blood pressure and heart disease and coronary artery bypass graft surgery (my chest was cracked @ 35 to repair a rare congenital defect and I don't want to have to do that again).
However there are times in my life when I really take charge of things. This is one of those times. My life came together into a healthy perfect storm. On December 30th, I woke up with the resolve to get healthy and get down to a size 12 by the end of 2008. I also had a specific plan in mind to start out exercising 1-2 times per week and making sure I had 1-2 fruits and veggies... to gradually increase over months. I also wanted to lose weight slowly and keep it off.
I have rarely made New Year's Resolutions because I know I won't keep them. But this year is different, it's for the new year and the rest of my life.
I plan to see my great great grandchildren.
I am happy like I have never been before. I am better able to deal with stress. I feel fabulous in body. Just so many things.
I exercise 6-7 times per week now and I'm eating 6-7 servings of fruits and veggies per day and I'm already into a size 12.
Who knows what size I'll be when I get down to my goal of 150? That's an exciting prospect.