Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Life is tough sometimes. And when you are trying to lose weight, it can be even harder. This has been such a long journey and I am getting discouraged that it's not happening a little faster. I am gaining weight and I honestly have NO idea why. I got under 200 pounds once. It was glorious. I loved it and was so happy and proud. I vowed I would NEVER go back. But I did. At first I thought it was muscle. I do all the "extreme" workout programs. P90X, Insanity, Tapout XT... I love them all. I have seen the most progress with Tapout XT. My body changed in ways I never thought possible. I have beautiful muscle definition now... really awesome. Yet, I gained and was dangerously close to 200 again. (Lowest I got was 193). Then, seemingly overnight, I was over 200 again and for months now I have bounced up and down between 201 to 208.
I am also exhausted. I mean, really really really tired. I am usually full of energy. I am always on the go. I have been doing double workouts since school started back (I'm a substitute teacher who gets called- A LOT!) So on the days I work (lately 5 days a week) I spend an hour in the school gym and then come home and do my Tapout XT. (I am on round 2- my second 90-day rotation) I'm wondering if I am just doing too much? I also have a two year old who is proving that "terrible twos" do exist. Maybe just the combination is enough to wear me out?
I just don't know. I have had my thyroid tested and it's fine. I'm starting to get concerned over the whole fatigue thing though. I know fatigue can either mean I am just tired or that something else is wrong.
My plan is to *try* to take a break this week. Yesterday all I did was walk on the treadmill at 3mpg at 12% incline for 45 minutes. That's like a stroll compared to what I usually do. I have no idea what I will do today. That's why I like the 90-day programs because it gives me structure and a goal to work towards. When I just go blindly into working out I feel lost... I have almost 100 workout DVDs so I can certainly find something to do, but I feel like I need direction.
Overall, I am struggling with the concept of "focusing on where I have come from and not where I have to go." I have lost over 120 pounds. But that means nothing to me because I feel like a failure because I can't get under 200. I feel like a failure because I am STILL wearing a size 14/16 when I want to be a 10/12 (I know, not important!). I feel like a failure because my two year old has a total meltdown at least once a day. I feel like a failure because I cannot look in the mirror and be proud of what I see...
There has GOT to be a way to get past these things...
Sunday, May 20, 2012
My mom is on Nutrisystem and she and I have both agreed that I have a very healthy idea of how to eat. I eat mostly clean and vegetarian. But my mom has several things on Nutrisystem that she doesn't care for and she has given them to me... it's not too bad! I was pleasantly surprised.
I was even more surprised this morning when my husband wanted to do Nutrisystem. But he wants to do it with me. And honestly, I feel this is a good way to support him. My husband weighs over 400 pounds and really needs to do something about his weight. He watched me lose over 120 pounds and I really think he gained almost all that I lost. It was heartbreaking to watch and I desperately want to him to do something to lose weight. So if a jumpstart of Nutrisystem is what it takes, then fine! And if he wants me to do it with him for support then that's fine too.
However, the major drawback for me is all the processed foods! I had done so well about getting away from so much processed junk! I am only doing a month... that's it. First we can't afford for both of us to stay on it. Also, it's a last-ditch effort as well as a test: If I still cannot lose weight on total calorie control like Nutrisystem then we will probably be able to safely assume that my IUD has caused this year-long plateau I have been on. At that point, I will go and get an analysis of fat vs. skin to make sure I am not lugging around too much extra skin (which I know I am, but how much is the question). But I may also have to get my IUD removed as well. That bums me out, but I have a goal and I want to get there. If I have to remove the IUD, thus removing the low-dose hormones, in order to get there, then I will. I don't want that, but I will do it.
So that's the plan. I expect the Nutrisystem to ship tomorrow and maybe be here by Wednesday, so hopefully by Thursday we will be on it. I'm just hoping this will help me to help my husband get on the path to wellness!!!!
Wish us luck! :)
Wednesday, May 09, 2012
I'm sort of confused. But at the same time, I think I know the answer. Sounds confusing? I told you I was confused! LOL
I have literally been on a plateau for 7 months. Last December I blogged about this very thing. Five stinkin' months ago and I am on the same topic. And guess what? I am at the same weight that I was five stinkin' months ago.
Now, my teenager, wise beyond her years, told me it was a good thing that I was still the same weight. She said that meant I was still working on it and not gaining. She said that it meant I was still committed to a healthy lifestyle and to working out. Man, she's a smart one! :) However, that doesn't make this any less frustrating.
Here's where I'm NOT confused. My eating has not been stellar as of late. I have had an incidence at least once every other day or so where I will eat something I know I should not- even when I am not hungry. I always find myself telling myself that this is a life long journey and I can always get back on track. Trouble is, I do this too often. I haven't gained weight, but I certainly haven't lost either. If I was actually *IN* maintenance then it would be fine. But I'm not, and it's not!
Now, I still workout every day. (Rest days on Sundays!) I completed the Insanity program with no weight loss. I am in month 2 of P90X- with no weight loss. Some days I do two workouts... I will do a P90X and then walk 4 miles or spend an hour on the elliptical. And no weight loss. You would think that would be enough... my diet choices are seriously not that bad. I'm not eating cake every day or muffins or cookies. (I did have a rather serious stint with Nutella but I wound up throwing it away because I found myself thinking about it all day! Really! It was that bad!!!)
I still drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. I eat mostly clean and vegetarian. (I'm pretty good with the 80/20 rule!) I get plenty of sleep. I am not overly stressed- actually I have very little stress in my life. I have a great job as a substitute teacher and have fun with my kids and husband when I'm home. I volunteer and give back to my community. I have a dog who is like a daughter to me.
Great life, right? It is! It really is! So why am I holding onto this dang weight? My husband says that maybe this is where my body is supposed to be. Maybe this is my ideal weight. I say NO FREAKING WAY am I going to accept that 212 pounds is my "ideal weight"! I told him just the other day that I am at that point where most people think, "I gotta lose weight! I weigh over 200 pounds!" You know those success stories you read in Health or Fitness magazines where the women are like, "I was a size 14/16 and weighed 200 pounds. I was FAT! I had to change my life..." Yeah, that's me NOW after losing 120+ pounds already! :( I still want to lose 50 more but just can't seem to nudge my body into the right direction.
Even when my eating is perfect, I stay the same. So I have come to the conclusion that it can only be one thing holding me back. My IUD. I can't think of what else it could be! I have the Mirena (sorry if this is TMI!) and it has slow release hormones. The only way to figure out if that's what it is is to have it removed! If that's not the problem and I want it back in, that's almost $1000 out of pocket as I now have no insurance like I did when I had it put in place! Yikes! That seems like an awful expensive experiment!
Anyone else have experience with this problem? Any other less drastic solutions I can try?
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
So I found some new bread. It's called Health Full bread and it's 80 calories per slice. What I like that the bread is full of whole grains and seeds. The sunflower seeds are especially tasty! :)
I got to try the bread for free because I am a Buzz Agent. I get to do these cool campaigns and try different products. All I have to do in return is write a review... easy enough, right? But I am happy to share this product here because I know we are all trying to live a healthier life and I really feel this bread can fit in with that theme! Have you seen this bread at your store? If so, pick it up and read the nutrition information and the ingredients... I think you will be pleasantly surprised!
Friday, February 03, 2012
I have had the Insanity program for about a year now and would add in some of the workouts to my regular cardio routine. But just over a week ago, I decided to follow the program to the letter. I'm not quite sure why I decided to either, it just kind of popped into my head!
I started on a Thursday not a Monday so I have found myself getting a bit confused with the calendar that came with the program, so I transferred all the workouts onto my own calandar and solved that problem! But you start off with a plyo circuit- nothing like starting off with a BANG!
I have done plyo plenty... I love it for torching calories and getting my heart rate up, so plyo work was nothing new to me. But I wasn't prepared for the pain in my calves. I'm not sure what part of the plyp work caused the calf pain, but all I know is that immediately following my first workout, I could feel it in my calves. And the next day I felt it even more, and by day three I could hardly walk. I felt like I had big baseballs in my calves! OUCH!!! Climbing the stairs in my house was excruciating, but I kept on...
By day 6, my calves were much better and now they feel just fine. I am on day 8 now. Day 6 was supposed to be a rest day, but I did the Upper Body Stength Training workout instead. I am used to weight training and I feel like I still need to get that in. It was a great workout and I plan to incorporate it into the rotation 3-4 times a week.
Now earlier I stated that I was following the program to the letter, but that's not exactly true. I find that the workouts are a little short. I am used to working out 60+ minutes a day, so doing only 30-40 minutes just feels wrong. I know that it's HIIT training and that it burns more calories and all that, but still, I just can't only do 30 minutes. So often I will do the warmup which is about 11 minutes. Then I will back it up and do the warmup again so already I am 22 minutes in. Then I will do the stretching and then do the workout. Sometimes I even do the workout again too if it's a really short one. Like today's for example: Today's workout is the Pure Cardio. 11 minute warmup, 7-8 minutes of stretching and then 15 minutes of straight intervals- 15 different moves for 1 minute each straight through no rest. So what I do wiht this one is do the warmup twice for a total of 22 minutes and then do the workout twice for a total of 30 minutes. Then I track 50 minutes of high impact aerobics in my tracker here on Spark.
I am not weighing daily, or even weekly, so I can't tell you if I have lost weight in week one or not, but what I can tell you is that I am feeling great. My clothes are a tad looser- nothing dramatic. But I feel STRONGER already! Like yesterday, for example, one of the moves in the workout was moving push-up planks. I can't do a "real" push-up to save my life. I always have to go down on my knees. So usually I just modify this move and do a walking plank and eliminate the push-up. But halfway through the interval, I noticed I was adding a half push-up without even realizing it!!! That is HUGE for me! Needless to say, I was pretty happy about that!
So far I am pleased with my progress. I want to try to blog each week about the program and how it's going. I want to do this as much for me as for other Sparkers. I think it will be nice to re-read all these blogs at the end of the 9 weeks and see how I feel I progressed!
So until next week... Dig Deeper! :)
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