Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I normally keep my mouth shut when something pisses me off on Facebook. But, today, I couldn't do it.
The post started with "Why is every high school coach I meet, except for soccer, fat?" Then the comments started - a sarcastic "because they are victims if post career slowed metabolism." "Victims of the American diet." "Not victims - they choose to eat poorly." "I'm have a gluten allergy and I am (for the most part) vegan. My options are limited, surely, but it's about self control." "They're carb addicts. Carb addicts will be carb addicts (and likely fat) until they choose otherwise."
Then this beauty "Soccer is the sport where your totally fit. All of my sons soccer coaches European, are fit. Even the soccer coaches at (Blocked to protect the b$tchy) HS are fit. From what can see. I do not respect or will ever have my son take direction or criticism from an over weight fat coach Who cannot keep up with his team conditional wise. Most of your football players are big and fat and unhealthy. Makes complete sense to me."
At the risk of losing a friend (who clearly sees me as a lesser person due to my weight), I let loose. "Pretty brutal exchange here. Commentary on fat people disguised as as a commentary on coaching. No self control. Not worthy of respect. Perhaps the side effects of a vegan, gluten free diet and a cross fit exercise routine are condescension and becoming judgmental and the ability to only view what's on the surface. But as a fat person who continues to struggle with my weight on a daily basis, I recognize my opinions will have no value in this semi public forum. If every kid who plays a sport went on to play professionally, a coach's value and contribution might be limited to the sport itself, but those "fatties," often unpaid and giving of their time, might be able to offer our young men and women other qualities in addition to the sport specific guidance they need."
Now, I feel like a complete a55hole. I am disappointed in myself for allowing myself to stoop to their level. And, honestly, I am disappointed that I feel like an a55hole for sharing my view.
Monday, August 25, 2014
I read a statement yesterday that is completely gut wrenching - "There was a day that your parents put you down and never picked you up again." I'm 49. My parents have been gone for 10+ years, so it was not too gut wrenching from that perspective.
But as a father of a 16 year old son and a 19 year old daughter, it is completely gut wrenching to think about that.
My daughter is off at school - it will have to wait until the next time I see her. But, last night, I picked up my son, hugged him tight, and said to myself, "Today is not that day!" I swear, I will make every effort until I am old and feeble to make sure that day never comes.
Friday, August 22, 2014
I have no talent or ability. I am not athletic, artistic or the least bit musically inclined (though I run, swim and sing regularly - just with no talent or ability). But, I have one absolutely useless gift (or curse). Somehow, my mind stores lines from movies and have lines that relate to almost any situation. It is probably annoying as sh$t to have to listen to me.
(If you want to know how truly pathetic I am - when I hire people, I put a line in the ad that says prefer people who get stupid movie references. I have also made sure my kids have seen and can quote most important movies (including making sure that my daughter can quote guy movies like The Godfather, Animal House, Stripes, Inglorious Basterds (see - very important movies)).
But, when all is said and done, it all comes back to The Princess Bride (my profile pic too). Probably because it is my favorite movie (so much so that my wife came down the aisle to the music from it in a big old Catholic Church in 1990 and Storybook Love was our first dance), it is absolutely my favorite movie to quote.
And, as I ran on the treadmill this morning, one stupid little line from it came to mind. Wesley (the Dread Pirate Roberts) is chasing Vizzini, Inigo and Fezzick who have kidnapped Buttercup (if you don't know this movie, this really sounds incredibly stupid) and is climbing the Cliffs of Insanity. Inigo is waiting to kill Wesley at the top and is getting impatient. He looks over the top of the cliff and says "Slow going?"
That's it. That's the line. That's how my mind thinks.
But, I realized, while it is incredibly slow, I am making progress. I started back on the treadmill in May at 3.6 MPH and I would bump it .1 MPH every so often during a run, topping out at 4.2/4.3 MPH. Then maybe a week later, I would start at 3.7, then 3.8.
Today, I started at 5.1 MPH, eventually got up to 6 then came back down. For runners, that's nothing. For me, it's huge. That 5.1 starting rate - it's comfortable! As they say, slow and steady ...
My weight loss is going the same way. I had decent (fast/good but not huge amounts) weight loss in May and June. It has really slowed since then. Slowed, but not stopped. I'll take .5-1 pound a week. It is "slow going," but it is still progress.
Friday, August 08, 2014
I am really beside myself right now - feeling so helpless.
My son was diagnosed with an eating disorder this week. He is going in to junior year of high school. He used to be a pudgy little kid that we just found out was tormented in middle school for being fat. And, now it has gone the other way. He's 5'10-5'11 and right at 122 lbs. He's always been a little OCD, mostly study/school related and over the past couple of years, that has started to and now is mainly food related. To the point where he will not eat something if he does not know the specific caloric content. It's not that he won't eat bad food, but he must know the specific amount.
We live in the town where "Keeping up with the Joneses" was filmed - kind of a black comedy about trying to constantly outdo your neighbors. I don't think anyone had to write the story, because it was the story of this area (and I am sure many others). It gets to be way too much way too often. And, that attitude exists (as it does elsewhere) in the middle and high schools. In many cases (or even most) the kids have cars as nice as their parents (no joke - new Mercedes, new BMWs). So there is this superficiality that exists at all levels that I believe is extreme here. And, it applies to looks and physique.
I am helpless because, while I can blow it off when it relates to me, at 16, he hasn't learned how to. He beats himself up mentally over not being buff, about not wanting man boobs. And, that transfers to physical actions - eating, lifting and running obsessively.
I think of myself, for the most part, as live and let live. However, I do find myself mumbling "I hate people" more and more often. And, unfortunately, this only makes it worse.
If you are reading this and are spiritual in any way, please say a prayer for my son as we get treatment and help him deal with all of these issues. And, throw one in for the rest of the family too. I don't want to become a miserable bast@rd.
Monday, August 04, 2014
I could not be happier, because vacations are where I usually f up and then get completely off track and give up. But I went into last week in Jamaica concious of food, drink, and exercise. And, I did eat, but not to excess, and more often than not, breakfast and dessert at dinner was primarily the outstanding fruit they had. I did eat bad stuff, but, again, not to excess. And, I did drink, only one day overdoing it (skipping dinner that night altogether, unintentionally!). And, I did exercise - every day. The hotel gym was the only disappointing thing about this resort, so I stuck to running outside.
And, I got on the scale this morning and am exactly where I was last Monday morning. Getting over the hump of not getting off track is HUGE for me!
One sad note though - splashproof does not equal waterproof. I killed my Fitbit by forgetting to take it off while snorkeling. But, I ordered a new one as soon as I got home and paid the $20 to overnight it. I will stay on track!!!
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