NURSEWITT03   20,828
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How do you keep your mojo?

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

I seem to have lost my mojo somewhere along my journey. When I started my last job, I worked very, very long hours and just lost my motivation completely. I put back on all of the weight that I lost plus an extra 15 pounds. I am officially at my highest weight ever! I am still shocked by that, but I need to acknowledge this is writing for it to actually hit home.

I have moved on to a MUCH better job that is a lot closer to my home. I have the opportunities to get out and be more active. Some days I really want to, and do. Some days I just really want to, so most times I don't. I just can't seem to keep the motivation going like I did last time. I am really frustrated with myself because I cannot seem to get my *hit together this time.

How do you do it? How can I do it? I am feeling like I am just beating my head against a wall. I will not ever make any progress. I will always be stuck behind this roadblock. It would be easier to just stay like this and learn to live with it. How do I get past these thoughts. I know that they are not true and I know that they are not right, but my frustrated brain is stuck in an unhealthy loop and I don't know how to reset my thought process.

Please help me get restarted on this path. Please.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLFCHICK2-0 10/4/2013 1:46PM

    Take a moment. Sit down in a nice quiet, peaceful place. Write down your priorities, goals and wishes. Write down what it will take to get you from where you are to where you want to be. BE REALISTIC. Take small steps. Some days you have to fight a little harder than others. I know that the days I want to hit the gym the least I end up with the best workouts and I feel SO much better after I've gone.

ASK FOR HELP when you need it. We are all here for the same thing. I know that I tend to retreat when I should be reaching out.

Be well. Spark on!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

(**I'm also writing this for me. I lost 60 lbs, and gained back about 10. Not another ounce will get on this body!!!) m

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GOLFGMA 10/1/2013 6:29PM

    Think about where you would like to be a few months from now, then make a list of the way you can get there. Stick to the list. Have someone or several make you accountable. Do you really want the change? If so emoticon

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Slip Sliding Away

Friday, August 31, 2012

That is my theme song for the past two weeks. I finally got a job! Yay me! emoticon

But I have been to and from several interviews and appointments to get everything finalized. That means a lot of driving and a lot of being on the go. I have also had to go to 3 different orientations to get my daughter started at the middle school this year.

She has decided to join the field hockey team this year. Yay her! emoticon so I have also had to do a lot of get her signed up, get her physical, to and from practice.

Getting school supplies, school clothes, physicals, closet and drawer cleaning (a LOT of clothes donated!!). Cleaning, sorting, rearranging and reloading our storage garage. It has been CRAZY for me lately.

These are all excuses I have used in the last two weeks to justify my lack of my daily walking and my crappy eating I have been doing. I just didn't realize that they were only excuses until last night when I was going to bed. I had a disappointing weigh in at my WW meeting last night. I gained 2.2 pounds. OUCH! I talked to my husband about it last night when I got home. He said the same thing that I said above to make me feel better. That's when the little light came on in my head that these were not anything to justify my slipping. They were all just a big bunch of excuses that weren't worth fluff!! I wasn't busy every night. I still had a little bit of down time to myself. I could have gone for a walk a couple of times. I could have kept a tighter, and more honest handle on my eating. (No, I really didn't need to eat those cookies, or twinkies, or devil dogs) The worst of it is, when I looked back at my tracker for the past two weeks a lot of the little side item snacks that I ate, didn't even get tracked. I don't know if I was in the midst of a denial attack or what. But it all ends NOW!!

I have not come this far to quit now! I will not allow myself to backslide into bad habits so easily! I will put up a fight for my freedom over my weight! Tuesday is the first day at my new job, and the first day of school for both kids. I will get back into my healthy habits and I will find a way to make it work with my crazy schedule.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRENJET 9/1/2012 6:10PM

    Super duper motivational blog...I know you wrote it to motivate yourself...but it helped me begin to get out of my funk too!!Thanks!


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KSCRAP363 8/31/2012 4:38PM

    You can do it ! We BELIEVE in you!!!

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SAASHA17 8/31/2012 2:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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You will NOT give up!

Friday, July 20, 2012

So last night, I was waiting for my hubby to get home from work so I could leave for my meeting. I knew I gained weight and I didn't want to deal with that on top of all the other stress that I have been dealing with in the last few weeks. I was dragging around the house and complaining that I really didn't want to go because I knew I didn't lose weight. My hubby grabbed me, put his face right in front of mine and said "You are going! You will not quit! You will not give up!" then gave me a hug. He has never done that before. He has supported me, but he has always been kind of passive in the support. He all but pushed me out the door and made me go.

So I went to my weigh in and the meeting last night and I was right. I gained 1.6 pounds. It's not the end of the world, but it still sucks. I sent him a text to let him know, like I always do, before the meeting started. The reply I got made me laugh. He sent back "It's ok, you will kick it's a$$ next week." lol

Looking back on last week, I think my problem was too much ice cream ( I didn't realize I had eaten it that often until I was looking at my points tracker), too much salt, and pushing a little too hard on the activity. I was putting a lot of effort into my activity and not taking any days off for recovery. So I am taking a couple days off to let my body rest and then back at it next week. After all, I have some a$$ to kick next week. lol

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEERLADY45 8/5/2012 8:31AM

    Your so-o lucky you have a supportive! Husband!I dont have one so i have to kick my self in the A$$ once in a while to keep my self moving which in fact was this morning! Im kickin it right after im done here too! Blessings to you, BONNIE
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GOLFCHICK2-0 7/27/2012 12:44PM

    What a wonderful and supportive man you have. Listen to him. Keep plugging along and it will all come together.

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OLIVIANIGHT 7/20/2012 10:46AM

    Aw that's so sweet! I love supportive other halfs!

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Psyching myself out

Saturday, July 14, 2012

I completed the Spark People Couch to 5K Walking Program a week ago today with a walk of 3.27 miles. I got a tremendous high and sense of accomplishment to be able to successfully complete something that I started and quit so many times before. Well when I finished that program, I left that team and joined the Official 5K Your Way Walk/Jog Program. I am having trouble getting started on it. I keep meaning to, then I find an excuse not to. I have really been thinking about it and I am really starting to think I am just psyching myself out. I could do the walking, I walk all the time. Something about taking the step from walking to jogging, then eventually to running (hopefully) is making me nervous. I really want to do it. I want to be a runner. But I can't seem to find a way around this mental stumbling block.

Help! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOLOPTIOUS 7/16/2012 12:30PM

    The best way I've found to stop psyching myself out is to just do it. It all starts with one step and you CAN do it!

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LESSNESS1 7/14/2012 6:13PM

    i know just what you mean i have the same problem, i'ev been working on my weight and getting my g.e.d since 2008 and so far i'ev got 3 out of five test done as for the weight ha well you see i'm still here,but back to you.i so proud of you . emoticon

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MAPLECANDY3 7/14/2012 6:09PM

    I dont think its necessary to up your goals all the time - sometimes its good to push until you hit a goal, and then take some time enjoying the accomplishment until your confidence grows.

dont worry about the new program, just keep walking 3.27 mlie walk for a few weeks, you will get there!!

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NESARIAN 7/14/2012 5:57PM

    I think myself out of good things for me also. Sometimes, I have to just NIKE it ~ JUST DO IT. No thinking, just action. I am on day 3 of my C25K program so it is early for me to comment maybe. For myself, I sometimes have to just go for it!

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DONEDARCY 7/14/2012 5:47PM

I'm glad that you see it for what it really is, a mental stumbling block.

I don't know about you, but I am sort of used to thinking of myself as a loser.
Someone who is undisciplined and cannot possibly lead a healthy life for the duration.
We are liars. We CAN do this. Best wishes to you on your journey, you're doing well!!

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Extreme Meltdown!!

Friday, June 22, 2012

Hypersensitive sense of taste + Crest Toothpaste with Scope = MASSIVE MAJOR MELTDOWN.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

That is the lesson that we learned last night. Our son, who is autistic, has a seriously hypersensitive sense of taste. We were well aware of that. It is one of the many reasons that he will eat a very small number of foods. Well, somehow last night he ended up with our toothpaste on his toothbrush instead of his toothpaste. My poor baby. You would have thought he swallowed fire and gargled with rubbing alcohol. It was instant tears with screaming and yelling until he couldn't breathe. Every time he would swallow he would just start screaming again. He just kept saying "Help Mama, Burns!!" and pointing at his throat. I did what I could to calm him down, but there was nothing that I could do. He wouldn't drink any water. He wouldn't drink any juice. There was no way for me to make him feel better. There was no way for me to make him understand that he needed to drink to help with the burning feeling.

It got very close to ending up as a mommy meltdown too. There is nothing worse then my child being in pain and not being able to help him. I hate that helpless feeling. After about 10 minutes of screaming I finally got him to quiet down and sip at some juice. It took the last bit of energy out of me. I wanted to sit down with a big bowl of ice cream with hot fudge on it.

What did I do?

I went to bed. emoticon

The more I thought about it the more I realized that the ice cream wasn't going to do a dang thing to make me feel better. It wasn't going to make me feel any calmer. It wasn't going to help reduce my anxiety. It was just going to make me feel guilty, miserable, and like a failure. That is not what I needed. I needed the sleep. When I thought about it this morning. I was so glad that I made the right decision while under that kind of stress. Instead of feeling all those bad, negative feelings, I felt proud of myself for making the better choice.

I can really do this! I am making little baby steps, but at least I am moving in the right direction.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MONKEYBEE7 6/23/2012 12:12AM

    A night like that would be so easy to take comfort in food, great job recognizing that it would have been emotional eating and not hunger eating emoticon

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