Friday, August 31, 2012
That is my theme song for the past two weeks. I finally got a job! Yay me!
But I have been to and from several interviews and appointments to get everything finalized. That means a lot of driving and a lot of being on the go. I have also had to go to 3 different orientations to get my daughter started at the middle school this year.
She has decided to join the field hockey team this year. Yay her! so I have also had to do a lot of get her signed up, get her physical, to and from practice.
Getting school supplies, school clothes, physicals, closet and drawer cleaning (a LOT of clothes donated!!). Cleaning, sorting, rearranging and reloading our storage garage. It has been CRAZY for me lately.
These are all excuses I have used in the last two weeks to justify my lack of my daily walking and my crappy eating I have been doing. I just didn't realize that they were only excuses until last night when I was going to bed. I had a disappointing weigh in at my WW meeting last night. I gained 2.2 pounds. OUCH! I talked to my husband about it last night when I got home. He said the same thing that I said above to make me feel better. That's when the little light came on in my head that these were not anything to justify my slipping. They were all just a big bunch of excuses that weren't worth fluff!! I wasn't busy every night. I still had a little bit of down time to myself. I could have gone for a walk a couple of times. I could have kept a tighter, and more honest handle on my eating. (No, I really didn't need to eat those cookies, or twinkies, or devil dogs) The worst of it is, when I looked back at my tracker for the past two weeks a lot of the little side item snacks that I ate, didn't even get tracked. I don't know if I was in the midst of a denial attack or what. But it all ends NOW!!
I have not come this far to quit now! I will not allow myself to backslide into bad habits so easily! I will put up a fight for my freedom over my weight! Tuesday is the first day at my new job, and the first day of school for both kids. I will get back into my healthy habits and I will find a way to make it work with my crazy schedule.
Friday, July 20, 2012
So last night, I was waiting for my hubby to get home from work so I could leave for my meeting. I knew I gained weight and I didn't want to deal with that on top of all the other stress that I have been dealing with in the last few weeks. I was dragging around the house and complaining that I really didn't want to go because I knew I didn't lose weight. My hubby grabbed me, put his face right in front of mine and said "You are going! You will not quit! You will not give up!" then gave me a hug. He has never done that before. He has supported me, but he has always been kind of passive in the support. He all but pushed me out the door and made me go.
So I went to my weigh in and the meeting last night and I was right. I gained 1.6 pounds. It's not the end of the world, but it still sucks. I sent him a text to let him know, like I always do, before the meeting started. The reply I got made me laugh. He sent back "It's ok, you will kick it's a$$ next week." lol
Looking back on last week, I think my problem was too much ice cream ( I didn't realize I had eaten it that often until I was looking at my points tracker), too much salt, and pushing a little too hard on the activity. I was putting a lot of effort into my activity and not taking any days off for recovery. So I am taking a couple days off to let my body rest and then back at it next week. After all, I have some a$$ to kick next week. lol
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I completed the Spark People Couch to 5K Walking Program a week ago today with a walk of 3.27 miles. I got a tremendous high and sense of accomplishment to be able to successfully complete something that I started and quit so many times before. Well when I finished that program, I left that team and joined the Official 5K Your Way Walk/Jog Program. I am having trouble getting started on it. I keep meaning to, then I find an excuse not to. I have really been thinking about it and I am really starting to think I am just psyching myself out. I could do the walking, I walk all the time. Something about taking the step from walking to jogging, then eventually to running (hopefully) is making me nervous. I really want to do it. I want to be a runner. But I can't seem to find a way around this mental stumbling block.
Friday, June 22, 2012
Hypersensitive sense of taste + Crest Toothpaste with Scope = MASSIVE MAJOR MELTDOWN.
That is the lesson that we learned last night. Our son, who is autistic, has a seriously hypersensitive sense of taste. We were well aware of that. It is one of the many reasons that he will eat a very small number of foods. Well, somehow last night he ended up with our toothpaste on his toothbrush instead of his toothpaste. My poor baby. You would have thought he swallowed fire and gargled with rubbing alcohol. It was instant tears with screaming and yelling until he couldn't breathe. Every time he would swallow he would just start screaming again. He just kept saying "Help Mama, Burns!!" and pointing at his throat. I did what I could to calm him down, but there was nothing that I could do. He wouldn't drink any water. He wouldn't drink any juice. There was no way for me to make him feel better. There was no way for me to make him understand that he needed to drink to help with the burning feeling.
It got very close to ending up as a mommy meltdown too. There is nothing worse then my child being in pain and not being able to help him. I hate that helpless feeling. After about 10 minutes of screaming I finally got him to quiet down and sip at some juice. It took the last bit of energy out of me. I wanted to sit down with a big bowl of ice cream with hot fudge on it.
What did I do?
I went to bed.
The more I thought about it the more I realized that the ice cream wasn't going to do a dang thing to make me feel better. It wasn't going to make me feel any calmer. It wasn't going to help reduce my anxiety. It was just going to make me feel guilty, miserable, and like a failure. That is not what I needed. I needed the sleep. When I thought about it this morning. I was so glad that I made the right decision while under that kind of stress. Instead of feeling all those bad, negative feelings, I felt proud of myself for making the better choice.
I can really do this! I am making little baby steps, but at least I am moving in the right direction.
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