Wednesday, July 20, 2011
This is one of my mottos throughout my adult life. Whenever I look at other people's lives and I feel that they're lucky, I always say to myself: Don't just look at the greener grass, look beyond it. Things are not always what they look like. Unfortunately, not all people realise that.
Ever since I became a mother and I quit my job in order to stay home and raise my children, I heard comments from other people that were really hurtful. Friends would talk in front of me about their jobs and their difficulties and they would turn to me with comments like: "You're lucky, you just sit at home all day and have nothing to worry about." In the same, thoughtless way a relative said to me yesterday when I said to him that spending summer days at home with the children is not always easy: "You shouldn't be complaining. I wish I could spend summer without work!"
First of all, I DO work. And I don't get paid for it. I care for a house and a family of four and I do everything myself. I do all the housework and cook every day. I don't sit around doing nothing as some people may think. But that's not the only way they're mistaken. They think it's easy. They don't know how difficult a day in an apartment with two children can be. They can't imagine how hard you have to try sometimes to find ways to entertain them. They don't know that as an adult you sometimes need other adults to talk to and you are in no mood to play with children. But you have to. They think that because it was your choice, you like staying at home. They can't imagine that you may be happy being a real mom to your children but you desperately miss work. Because sometimes in life the choices which look so easy are the hardest to make.
On the other hand, I understand them. I've been there. I know how it feels to have worked for a whole year hard and wait for your summer vacation to get some rest. And when it comes and goes, it just wasn't enough. I know how it feels to miss your home and being able to relax and see your family after work. And that's why I never answer to those people. But inside me I hurt. Because they make me feel useless, lazy and thoughtless. I wish those people could think for a while and realize that I have difficulty finding some time for myself. That being all day at home with two children is not always easy. That I don't have the extra money they may have to take my children out because only one works in the family. I wish they could just look beyond the grass. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. It just looks greener.