Saturday, June 26, 2010
A friend asked tonight if I were going to the Y in the morning. (She had finally seen the light, and decided to join with her boys.) The response was, "Yes, it's Sunday and that's swimming day." As if, "you didn't know?"
It's interesting to see that when new habits become second nature, the answer to questions like this one are automatic.
I guess you could say, I'm moving in the right direction.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Today is the inauguration of my monthly weight goals. I'm aiming for a one pound a week, approximately four pounds a month, benchmark.
I'm glad to report that I'm back on track. And oh, baby, it feels so good! With my landmarks set, and my planner filled up to the end of December, I should be in ONEderland by the end of December. And what a great way to start the New Year. New Year, new me! I can dig it.
As each goal is set and conquered, a new attitude emerges: Self-confident? Yeah, I can be that. Successful? Why not? Dare I say it, happy? Sure!
I like what I'm seeing! On to other bigger and better things!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
This morning I had an important interview which kept me up late last night worrying. We are our own worst enemies on so many fronts, sad to say. I woke up early, and decided to go back to bed for another 45 minutes or so, in order to be at my best. Returning to bed, I fell into a deep sleep and had a most vivid dream: That I had the interview and didn't have a chance to put pants on. How many of you have had dreams like this? Does it represent not being prepared? Being exposed, or perhaps vulnerable? Any Freuds out there, feel free to weigh in.
In the course of the dream, I was relating to the two interviewers an event that really did occur in real life when I was thirteen. My grandparents' ancient television was not working and my aunt, in her infinite wisdom and total unwavering belief in me, asked me to take a look at it. Amazingly, I found the root of the problem and fixed it, and miraculously didn't electrocute myself in the process. My aunt just looked at me, as I stood there dumbfounded, with a knowing look and said, "I knew you could do it."
When I awoke from my dream, it got me to thinking: Why is it in the course of our lives, that there are others who know us intimately, see qualities in us, that we cannot see in ourselves? Perhaps this should be directed more at the women out there. Because for the most part, and I asked my brother-in-law this once, men get up in the morning, look in the mirror and know exactly what they will execute that day for their clients. There never is a doubt that they will deliver what they plan, and it will be successful. I think it's something on their Y chromosome that isn't passed on the same way to women. Women, at least in my own mind, have more self doubt. A friend years ago best expressed it: "Women don't have a fear of failure, they have a fear of success." I have pondered that for many, many years. If true, why is that so? Why all the "can I, can't I?" thinking? I think we get to where we need to go, as the men do, but the route we women take is more circuitous. We have more "noise" and negativity to deal with.
Cocooning ourselves in our fat bodies, we don't have to deal with success so much because we have insulated ourselves from it. The barriers we created, keep us protected. Yet, we are not happy. Those brave enough to venture forth are shedding all this baggage, and I don't mean just the weight alone. It's a scary process, because if we cannot hide behind the weight, we risk being more exposed. We're smart enough to know that once out there the rewards are even greater than the poisons we put into our bodies. If we didn't know this, we wouldn't be here in the first place. But it is scary. We're trusting that the effort will reward itself on many fronts. That I do believe. But it is a multi-pronged attack getting to the real root of the problem. And it's all tied into self-worth, belief in ourselves, and trusting, as my father used to say, that we should "Just show the whole cockeyed world" what we can do.
It won't be easy. And it's going to take time. A lot of time. But on the other end, the rewards of this holy grail are many. I'm committed. Are you?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Coming off my recent "high" of hitting a new weight loss milestone (an all time record loss), it got me to pondering how what I am learning about weight loss can be applied to other endeavors. So much of why we became morbidly obese has little to do with actual food intake. That's the result, not the cause, apart from weight gain related illnesses, of course. So, one has to ask oneself, how did we get to this point? What created the environment to cause us to be emotional eaters?
I firmly believe that once that question is satisfied (and, of course, the answer will be as varied as we all are), it will open the flood gates of understanding, and other areas in our lives that need improvement, will follow suit. That is the spillover effect. It's all tied together with self-worth, striving to succeed and believing that we are worth the endeavor.
As success builds on success, all the negative "voices" will recede, depression will lift, and a new life will be created. I really believe that. Sounds like a miracle, no? If realistic goals are set and met, we will see just how far we can take this journey. Yes, I am certain, there will be bumps along the way. It didn't take us a week to get to be this heavy and it's not going to take a week for a whole new way of living to take its place.
But I know I am worth it. Are you?
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I've reached fifteen pounds down on SparkPeople, which added to the fifteen pounds BSP (Before Spark People), I'm now down 30 pounds total. Whoa! As I get deeper into this journey, and the pounds slip and slide off, I've discovered a few things:
Massive food cravings don't really exist anymore. Oh, sure, I buy the "forbidden" items (no longer in bag size, I don't trust myself *that* much), but in small size and by the time I get home, I discover that candy bar is not what I really want. And it can stay in the fridge for days. Now that is really something.
I've also discovered that when I don't exercise, my body yells at me. It actually craves the workouts. Interesting.
Each good habit adopted (and yes, of course, there is backsliding), is starting to become part of the routine. It's no longer so alien to me.
Applying the "80/20 Rule" is a great way to stay on track. Using the monthly calendar, I can *allow* and forgive "bad" days. "Bad days" comes to about six days a month, if need be. That's 20% of a month. That gives me wiggle room if I'm not totally on point. And it's all good. The calendar keeps me in check. I'm not *looking* to allow for the bad days where the calorie count may be slightly over the mark (or even not so slightly, occasionally), but being human it does happen. As long as the rest of the month is populated by gold stars, it is a successful month.
I'm starting to reexamine other areas of my life and trying to apply the same principles there as I found with the weight loss: Namely, discipline and perseverance. I am worthy of those changes in those aspects of my life as well.
Isn't it interesting how when one starts on a weight loss quest, it spills over into other areas of our lives? What a revelation. It's the beginning of a revolution for me. Wow. I really like all that I'm seeing. And this time, it looks like it just might be for good.
And THAT is worth everything.
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