Tuesday, May 04, 2010
so here i am. beginning of may & i'm just now getting back to walking AGAIN...for the millionth time. since my last update, i started seeing an orthopedic surgeon. he thinks i'm full of it but referred me to 12 sessions of physical therapy anyway. so far, most sessions result in pain & immobility the next day or 2 (no bueno) but i'm keeping with it & making sure i tell my therapist what happens. i feel like this is all a painful waste of my time but none the less, i must push through it until they see what i feel.
i also started walking again last night. i'm not focusing on distance but more on time. last night, my friend & i walked for 50 minutes. my knee was stiff & in pain after the first 30 minutes. today, it feels sore but i can't really stay off of it. i have a million & one things i need to do & at the end of the day, i have PT (i planned that btw).
my oldest will be out of school at the end of the month & though it won't interfere with my walking & wii routine, i'm anxious about the added stress of her being home all day. her & her sister clash like oil & water. it never fails to leave me exhausted, angry & overall beat by the end of the day. 2 whole months of that?! frick.
my little one is pending an assessment test for speach therapy & so far i've heard nothing about it. i filled out the paperwork a week ago & thought for sure something would have come back by now. if i still have nothing by the end of the week, i think i'll have to push them a little come monday.
i recently started counciling too (another thing to add to my weekly to do list). once a week, i go in & complain about my husband & his internet gaming addiction & then sit there while she just stares at me with this confused look on her face. the woman has no clue what i'm talking about & it's only making me more angry. this is a HUGE problem. my husband & i are about as perfect as we can get in our relationship. we communicate, love, share & help eachother in every healthy way but this is the one giant zit on the a$$ of our marraige. he hides it from his friends & family, he ignores not only me but our children too, and if i let him, it very well could ruin his MC career. unfortunately, all of this only happens when he plays the game. he doesn't even see it as a problem!!! wtf. how can someone not see that something is a problem when he can't remember anything that happened all week??? alot of people tell me to not put up with it & to just walk away but i won't. i take my vows seriously. "for better or WORSE, in SICKNESS & in health, till DEATH DO US PART". i will fight to the death to save this marraige, to save this family, and to save this man.
of course, lately i've been thinking alot about all of this stuff & somedays i just want to pause it, walk away & come back when i've regained my composure & can better handle the situations. too bad life isn't like my DVR.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
i just want to say, i cannot WAIT for tomorrow! i have been keeping my fingers crossed that this doctor listens to me. i am so sick of these cocky physicians trying to insist there's nothing wrong with me. if there was nothing wrong, why is my knee still screaming at me 2 days after WALKING 2-1/2 miles?! it's not like i ran it in 15 minutes, it took me an hour & it was mostly flat ground. it's not my shoes, i've had alot of pairs since i fell & am currently wearing a pair of UA running shoes that fit like a glove. it's not my form, i've made sure i focused on how i walk & the amount of weight i balance between both legs. and if this woman trys to give me "naproxen" again, i'm gonna throw it at sombody. that stuff has never worked for a single ache or pain i have had in my ENTIRE life. heck my doc back home prescribed darvocet for body cramps because it was what did the job.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
today is day #17 & yesterday was weigh in. though i felt like i was kinda being lazy over the week (i still ate right but was having trouble with the kids at night so i wasn't always getting my walk time in before bed), i still managed to lose a pound. i'm gonna try to kick it up a notch & walk EVERY NIGHT this week.
our friend's sister came out a couple days ago to stay with him here in HI until april/may. well, our friend has been talking this girl up quite a bit so i was eager to meet her. not only did she seem to be alot like what i was like when i was a teen, she is going to go to college (once she graduates HS) to be a dietitian! she wanted to practice in our kitchen over the next couple months. i thought woot woot! a girl who wants to show off in my kitchen and if she's gonna be a dietition, she already is consious about what is in the food she cooks. boy was i wrong. she made what she called malibu chicken. it was chicken breast marinated in soy sauce & pineapple concentrate. she then covered it in bacon & provalone cheese. i ate about a third of the portion just to not seem rude. it wasn't toooo baaaddd but after i added in my own whole grain brown rice (only added water) & a small salad (no dressing), i ate almost my max in fat, cholesterol, sodium & calories. i can assure you it wasn't from lunch either. i had a BLT with turkey bacon ( patted the grease off) on wheat bread. pretty low.
over all, i appreciate her effort & i really do like her. however, i think i will have to teach her a couple things about eating healthier. not everyone has a matabolism as fast as hers ( ::cough cough:: me ::cough::) besides, some day, what she eats now could stick around alot longer in the future.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
OMG! i'm still super stoked about my fun little outing tonight. though my walking buddy is in the hospital tonight with gallstones, i threw on my UA's & grabbed my newly loaded ipod & headed out the door.
about an hour before i left the thought had crossed my mind. "it's been a rough day & i am not in the mood to do anything. why not just curl up on the couch & watch a movie?" NO! i am leaving. if i don't, i'll be sitting here listening to my husband struggling to get the kids in bed like i usually do. as fun as that sounds, i can't stand their tantrums. so there it was. contradicting my excuses to not get out! go me! this is the 1st time i haven't listened to my own lazy self.
but the excuses aren't the reason why i'm so excited. this night rocked every night so far.
1. i did 3.5 miles. the longest i have done in YEARS.
2. my glow belt makes my booty & hips look fabulous even though i'm still a chubbster.
3. even though i was almost trampled by a couple running marines, i still managed to do well enough to get 2 honking cars & 1 wolf whistle :D my first whistle since i was 18! woo hoo!
4. & finally, my playlist ROCKS my SOCKS! so i'm gonna be nice & share it with you (i'm cool like that):
gives you hell- all american rejects
womanizer- britney spears
awful beautiful life- darryl worley
american boy- estelle w/ kanye
cupid's chokehold- gym class heroes
pop, lock & drop it- huey
cheater, cheater- joey & rory
hot n' cold- katy perry
dani california- red hot chili peppers
fat lip- sum 41
in too deep- sum 41
picture to burn- taylor swift
honky tonk badonkadonk- trace adkins
beverly hills- weezer
pork & beans- weezer
say hey (i love you)- michael franti & spearhead
that's not my name- the ting tings
shut up & let me go- the ting tings
ain't no rest for the wicked- cage the elephant
waking up in vegas- katy perry
tik tok- ke$ha
the girl got hot- weezer (this is actually my biggest moto song since OK GO!)
(if you're wondering if i want you to) i want you to- weezer
okay so that's alot but i LOVE these songs & what's even better? the fact that it has a little of alot & nobody could ever believe that i don't have fave bands or genres, but SONGS. real, pure songs. i couldn't care less who sings it as long as they make me like it.
make a playlist. love it. put your good tennies on. love them. say no to the couch & junk food. own it. we can do this as long as we keep eachother (and ourselves)...
Monday, January 11, 2010
i think i'm starting to slack. it seems every other day, i find a reason to not go walking. legit reasons but i still see them as excuses. it was sore, cramping (terribly), & tonight... well, that's a fun one.
i busted my butt to be sure my house was spotless. for the weekend. i had asked my husband to just maintain it & continue laundry so i had less to do today. nada. i got 1 load of laundry done by him & the kids were alive at the end of the day. but for me today, that just meant i was back at square one with 2 days piled up that i had to tackle.
it's 12 after 8 right now. i should be putiing on my shoes & heading to my friend's house but i'm not. i'm taking a little down time to vent before i have to go finish the dishes, run more laundry through, prep Sam's lunch & snack for tomorrow & premake a few meals for the week so there's something ready to just grab & go (cuz that's how my days run. almost always on the go).
blah. i feel like an unappreciated, over worked bum.
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