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Copy & Paste blog game!

Saturday, July 03, 2010

ANOTHER QUESTIONS GAME!
To play, copy and paste into your blog, then change the answers. You are not allowed to duplicate answers; you must use different ones!!!

1. Name something you use in the shower?
Razor

2. Something people hate to find on their windshield?
Bird guano

3. Name something a man might buy before a date?
Mouthwash

4. What is something you cook in the microwave?
Leftovers

5. Name a piece of furniture people need help moving?
Sofa

6. Name a reason a younger man might like an older woman?
Money

7. Name something a dog does that embarrasses its owner?
Something on neighbors lawn

8. Name a kind of test you cannot study for?
Blood pressure

9. Name something a boy scout gets a badge for?
No idea, I've never been a boy scout

10. Name a phrase with the word 'home' in it?
Home sweet home

11. Name a sport where players lose teeth?
Hockey

12. Name something a teacher can do to ruin a good day?
Pop quiz

13. Name something that can brighten your day?
Sex

14. Name a bird you wouldn't want to eat?
Hummingbird

15. Name something a person wears even if it has a hole in it?
Sock

16. Name something that gets smaller the more you use it?
Lipstick

Remember...NO copying!! You can't use the same answers as the last person.

  


Some observations about marriage/cohabitation and splitting the bills

Friday, July 02, 2010

When it comes to splitting the bills, you have to look beyond splitting the bills.
It's not that simple. It's never 50/50. Unless your incomes are exactly the same, and you both spend precisely the same amount of time on domestic chores (the unpaid work).
Most people don't see anything but dollars and cents. Income, housework and leisure time are usually grossly unequal. In general, men earn more, do little housework, and enjoy oodles of leisure time. No wonder women are more depressed and pistoff.

A good friend of mine once told me a story about a fight she had with her husband. Money was tight. They both had jobs, but she made less $ and he did nothing around the house. One day he suggested to her that she should get a 2nd job so they would "bring home equal amounts". Yep, he was ONLY looking at the paycheck side of life.
She said "If I have to work 2 jobs, what the hell do I have YOU for?"
She was right- if you count housework, she already HAD 2 jobs, and was putting in MORE than double the work time he was. But of course, he didn't think to count the housework part. It's just accepted that in a male/female couple, the women will do close to 100% of the shopping, cooking, cleaning, and childcare that happen in the household.

If you want to find out who is spending more time working, look at leisure time. Women don't have any, because they literally don't stop working until they go to sleep.
I guess that's all I have to say about that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLPNURSE 7/5/2010 8:57AM

    I also think you can get into trouble in a marriage when everything has to be "fair". Bills, chores, everything 50/50. I think it's better to look at everything you put into the partnership is for the greater good of the partnership and each other.

I know a couple where they split the bills 50/50 and he makes significantly more. He drives a nice car and sometimes she can't afford to go out to eat when they got to eat with friends b/c she can't pay her share. What kind of partnership is that? Would you be happy if your spouse couldn't go out with you?

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SHORTY20 7/3/2010 8:39PM

    I must say, my hubby is great about housework. We clean every weekend and split it up. I sweep the hardwood floors and the bathrooms, and do all the toilets, sinks and mirrors in the 3 bathrooms. I don't dust every week (I should!), but I'll do that too when the mood strikes me. Meanwhile, DH will vacuum all the carpet and clean the 2 showers. If we work together, we can get done in about an hour.

Also, throughout the week, he does the dishes 90 percent of the time (he has a thing about leaving dishes in the sink), and checks the cat litter, and I'll do all the laundry. He usually mows the grass, which I actually don't mind doing, but he won't let me near the mower anymore b/c everytime I mow it stops running for some reason, LOL!

We have separate bank accounts, but since he makes more, he pays for the higher cost items like the mortgage and car payment, and I take care of the smaller stuff. I buy most of the groceries, but that's only b/c I like to be the one to get them b/c he usually buys a bunch of crap when he goes!

So, I guess I got a good one emoticon

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MBSHAZZER 7/3/2010 1:12PM

    Interesting! My BF and I split all the bills 50-50. Because he's self employed, he likes to pay for everything and he gives me an "invoice" at the end of the month for my half. Since he pays for everything, that means he does all of the grocery shopping (score!!!). I do all of the cleaning and probably 75% of the cooking. I guess it's pretty even - it could definitely be worse!

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PRIN1978 7/2/2010 9:42PM

    Wow. Isn't this the story of my life!! F-ing hate it to the max!!

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CAROLX914 7/2/2010 9:31PM

    Oh boy you have hit it on the mark! My ex-husband was the most laziest, filthiest, non chore doing son of a .... that I have ever met and its one of the main reasons why we are not together now. I worked days and he worked nights.. difference was he slept days and I worked day and night. Cleaning, cooking and taking care of infant twins.. uggghhh! I so understand this blog wholeheartdly...

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DIVALICIOUS1978 7/2/2010 3:34PM

  This is a great topic! My mate and I stay together and I am constantly asking him to help out around the house. He really feel I should do everything now since I am laid off but the point is even when I was working a full-time job the housework was still something that I had to do. To be honest I'm tired of hearing myself talk because apparently he's not listening.

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OHMYGOSH- I PASSED THE ACADEMY!!!!

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

I just opened my inbox and I've got great news- I passed forensics Consulting Academy!
Academy, which I attended in February, was four days of intense study and a two hour exam. I cleared that hurdle (step one). If you pass the exam, you receive a homework assignment: a hypothetical scenario for you to evaluate, and write a forensic report. If they like your report, THEN you have officially passed the Academy (step two).
It's been three weeks since I mailed my report. It was never acknowledged. After two weeks, I started checking my P.O. box daily. Nothing. No emails. I haven't heard a peep. I was starting to wonder if my report was ever received, and fret about what I did with the tracking number.
Last night, I finally emailed headquarters and asked when I could expect my results.
I just returned from 4 exhausting hours of physical labor, sawing tree limbs and cleaning up debris. I opened my inbox and found an email from the Academy. It began "Congratulations on passing the Academy..."
I'm ecstatic! I should be receiving instructions for step three (another report scenario) in a day or so, along with a registration application. If they like THAT report, and accept my application (and fees) I will have to submit a 4th and final report of my own creation.
I may achieve the Registration designation before the year is over!
Someone, peel me off the ceiling!
emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SECRETFUN 6/12/2010 11:01AM

  WOOOHHOOOOO! Doing a dance for you!

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JLPNURSE 6/10/2010 7:02AM

    emoticon

Congratulations!

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CAROLX914 6/9/2010 9:24PM

    congratulations! woohoo!

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RHALES199 6/9/2010 5:55PM

    Awesome! Excellent! Way to go!

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_UMAMI_ 6/9/2010 3:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

(so what does a Forensic Arborist do? Deets, please!)

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PHEBESS 6/9/2010 2:24PM

    YAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!! Mazel tov!!!!!!!! Woohooo!!!!!

And now, you really can be Notblushing, Forensic Arborist and Expert Witness!

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SHORTY20 6/9/2010 1:50PM

    Woohoo!

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AFWWTX 6/9/2010 12:56PM

    congrats!

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MBSHAZZER 6/9/2010 12:56PM

    Wonderful news! Congratulations!

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LINDATHOME 6/9/2010 12:50PM

    Don't you just LOVE reaching a goal? Great Job! emoticon

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MOONSWEEPER 6/9/2010 12:42PM

    Wow that is so cool! I have always had an interest in that type of stuff. I watch a lot of true tv and ID tv my husband calls it "creepy tv" lol. Congrats!

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TOPFLIGHTSPARK 6/9/2010 12:35PM

    Congrats and keep up the good work!

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NANCYMT6151 6/9/2010 12:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Well done! Let me see where I put my pancake spatula so I can help you get off the ceiling!

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A word to the renter: don't landscape without the landlord's permission

Monday, June 07, 2010

I got a call today from a woman who was furious because her tenants did some unauthorized landscaping.
They had pruned two of her beloved trees, and ripped out and discarded her 38 year-old peonies.
Imagine renting out the little house where you raised your children (because you couldn't bear to sell it), and driving up to discover that sight.
I spoke to her for a while, getting the background information. The trees were planted by her late husband, before they even OWNED the house... when they bought the house and moved across town, they paid to have the trees dug up and moved to there with them.
You start to get an idea of what these trees meant to her.
Then, she told me the story of the peonies.
After we established the history and the circumstances surrounding her anguish, we started discussing what I could do for her and what my services would cost. Like a lot of people, she wasn't prepared for the fees, and it takes some finesse to overcome the sticker shock. At this point, I usually empathize with the client and explain to them that their reaction is standard, since most people have never paid for a forensic arborist, and have nothing to compare it to. That usually calms them down, and the discussion can progress. Good for me, she went a step further, and started explaining to ME why I had to charge that much: "I know you experts don't come cheap" and "It's not easy to find a qualified Consulting Arborist". All in all, we hit it off very well.

We will meet at the property tomorrow morning. I still had some daylight left, and the property is very close, so I did a drive by. I'll have to do a lot more emotional soothing on her- the trees don't look anywhere near as bad as her emotional reaction led me to believe.
My assignment here is monetary value: what are the trees worth. There are a few ways to determine the dollar figure. One method is based on math and trunk measurements and species ratings. Another is replacement cost- which is how she is leaning, since she's already gotten removal estimates.
I haven't examined the trees closely yet, but I am going to have to break it to her that I can't give her a replacement cost estimate unless I recommend removal. It's unethical. If I am called to testify in court, and I think the trees have not suffered significant damage, I am going to have to say that. And I already let her know that even though the trunk formula method is a very common way of assigning value, the figure does not hold up well in court. And the situation is litigious.
Not good news for someone who already feels incredibly violated.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MBSHAZZER 6/8/2010 12:15PM

    "forensic arborist" - I love it!!!

What a raw deal. I don't think some people realize how much others grow attached to their foliage. My tenants dug up the back yard and created a pen for their dogs. Fortunately, I am not attached to the landscaping. And I have a good security deposit :D

Replacement cost also brings to mind something that happened here in Florida. The Department of Agriculture removed people's citrus trees if canker was found in any tree within a certain number of feet. So basically, people came home to find that someone had come onto their properties and removed healthy trees! Their recompense? A $50 Wal-Mart gift card! That's a fine how do you do!

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PHEBESS 6/8/2010 10:20AM

    Wow, it sounds like the plot of a TV drama - Notblushing, forensic certified arborist at law!

Poor lady, though - definitely an emotional issue!

She may be very happy to hear that the trees can be saved - but yeah, there's the emotional trauma.

And how could the renters just rip out plants?????? I've always checked with the landpeople before doing any gardening!!!!

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JLPNURSE 6/8/2010 6:57AM

    I really like your stories. You really get to use your skills to touch people in a positive way.

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When I plant things for OTHER people, they die.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

I no longer guarantee my installations. I've had it.
Every time I plant things for people, they die. They never die in MY yard. I'M not doing anything wrong. I've seen the exact same situation play out, year after year after year. People don't WATER things, and they die. Then, the people are perplexed, deny any wrongdoing, and insist that they have watered and cared for the plant diligently. They ALWAYS say that.

When I offer a guarantee, I lose money.
I planted a tree several weeks ago for a neighbor. I looked him in the eye and made him swear that he would keep the tree well watered. Obviously, that meant something very different to HIM than it did to ME.
This guy lives four blocks away. I walk past the tree every day. From all appearances, the guy did everything possible to KILL the tree. He stacked about two feet of mulch on top of it in a huge pile that vaguely resembled a beaver lodge, and placed a gaterbag (water drip irrigation bag) on it, and walked away. Literally. He left the tree on autopilot, exactly like everyone else does. The water bag was filled ONE time. The tree has been slowly dying ever since I planted it.
Yesterday he emailed me, saying the tree didn't seem to be doing so well, and he had NO IDEA WHY.
?????!
I wrote back that the tree was dying of thirst.
I attached some research fact sheets about mulching (or not) and watering.

Today, he responded back. Now he's on the defensive, insisting that there isn't excessive mulch on top of the roots or touching the bark, and the tree is well watered. He even speculated that the tree might be OVER watered.
Buddy, I ain't blind! I see this tree every day.
This after I TOLD him exactly what the problem was and exactly how to fix it. Nope, I am the one here who doesn't know anything about trees. I am the one who is mistaken. He's done everything right.

He asked for my diagnosis, he got it, he had to face a difficult fact: the tree was dying because he neglected his responsibility of care. Nope- not happening. Unable to confront his role in the trees demise, he chose to discredit me, and lie to my face about keeping it watered and not buried under 30 lbs of mulch, as if I am a moron and CAN'T TELL.

So, his tree will die. His mind won't let him accept that it is his own fault, and he'll be angry at me for saying so. He'll probably complain that I gave him a bad tree, don't know how to plant trees, and generally badmouth me all over the neighborhood as an idiot.

One thing is certain- I will never offer a guarantee again. Not that he got one. He didn't pay. It was a gift.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JLPNURSE 6/7/2010 8:05PM

    Just wow. And wow to complain about a gift tree.

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PHEBESS 6/7/2010 11:30AM

    Geez!!!!! It isn't POSSIBLE to over water a tree - the water sinks into the ground!!!!!!! What is WRONG with this man????????????

Okay, I feel better.

And what can you say, the world is full of dunderheads. Maybe give people a watering schedule? As in, water for 10 minutes every Sunday and Wednesday, in all months between March and November - ?

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MBSHAZZER 6/7/2010 10:18AM

    No one wants to take responsibility for anything. It's the Not My Fault syndrome.

I had a situation like that a few years ago. I have a rental property and I wanted to put in some nice landscaping - easy things like bouganvillia and crotons. Low maintenance, once they take hold. I asked the tenant before putting it in and she was on board. She agreed to water. After I spent $500 on the plants and the labor to put them in, she NEVER watered them. Heartbreaking.

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_UMAMI_ 6/6/2010 11:18PM

    No Green Thumb here, so no credit, BUT:
I can't STAND it when people don't take any responsibility for their actions. GAH! (thrashing fists about)
THIS is what I am trying to teach my children:
Be responsible for your actions.
Don't be an assh*le. (Well, be a decent human.)

I can't stand the "entitled" people that ruin things for the rest of us (who don't mind earning our keep).

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BODYNSOIL1 6/6/2010 10:22PM

    Ahh.. He had no investment in the tree other than begging you for a favor which you wholeheartedly gave him. It isn't so much the loss of the tree that sucks, it is him talking trash about you that is the biggest bummer. What about a drip irrigation system to keep it watered, they can be put in rather cheaply and you can get the parts from peacefulvalley.com that would make it almost fool proof. I live in a sandy area and use the system with very good success. Of course that would add cost to the project that the homeowner most likely wouldn't go for but when you are doing new installations for this type of mentality you almost need to do it to insure proper watering.. So sorry you have to go through the hassle of feeling hurt after doing a favor for the guy..

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SECRETFUN 6/6/2010 9:42PM

  Unless you can offer or are paid for full service of taking care of the plantings trees or otherwise, yep, you cannot guarantee anything. Places around here try and find the same problem.

Reason I make DH water everything, He is very good at getting plants off to a good start. Trees are hard; they take a ton of water and for a very long time. We have only barely started on that route.

I did try to ban mulch. It gets snuck in every once in a while but thus far no where near the trees.

I suppose if you went over at night and fixed the mulch mess that would just get you in trouble. Is this one of the salvaged trees?

I feel for you hon.

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LSCHULER72 6/6/2010 9:37PM

    Oh gosh, I'm so sorry you have to experience this. It's even worse when people are mean! hang in there :)

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NOTBLUSHING 6/6/2010 9:33PM

    Morgan- that could be so, but I gave him the tree because he all but begged me for it. I didn't approach him, he came to me wanting a tree in front of his address, so I agreed to put one there on the condition that he would care for it.
If my hose could reach 4 blocks, the tree would be fine.
emoticon

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MORGANLAFEE 6/6/2010 9:20PM

    Maybe he didn't really want the responsibility of the tree. It's tough when you try to please someone and it backfires.



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_COSMOPAULATAN_ 6/6/2010 9:11PM

    That's a hard lesson, for both of you. Sorry :(

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