Saturday, February 10, 2007
Okay, there's just no way around it. I lost a whole week of what COULD have been decent weight loss progress to TOM, and that week is gone forever.
Wait a minute, today is the 10th. I've lost MORE than one week... 10 days makes it a week and a half. I'm flatlined. And it chaps my hide.
I am NOT snacking on garbage.
I am NOT slacking on exercise.
I am NOT happy about this lack of progress.
What am I left with? Two and a half more weeks of February, and the possibility that TOM will visit me AGAIN before it's over. Now I'm depressed. Instead of a lost week, I can't help but wonder if it's a lost MONTH.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
"How do you stay motivated?" is the most common question on weight loss boards.
This question always leaves me stumped.
That is because I don't see it as an independent, external force. Sure, there are REMINDERS out there, helping to keep me on track, but for me, motivation is mostly internal. It is the springboard that BEGAN the journey, even if it sometimes seems to disappear and reappear along the road.
What propels me forward is INSPIRATION. And THAT, I can find all around me.
From reading the boards, I am constantly INSPIRED by the success stories of others who have done exactly what I am doing. They changed their lives. Sometimes, they had enormous amounts of weight to lose, but they DID it. And that is exactly what I am going to do.
Hands down, I'd have to say that my biggest motivation has been that I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THIS FAT ANYMORE. Bottom line. I just reached my breaking point with MYSELF, got angry, and decided it was all going to change, RIGHT NOW, no matter what. The overeating was STOPPING.
I made a promise to myself. Nothing, and nobody, and no food will stand in my way.
I'm too young to give up my life to obesity. I'm not ready to die. I don't care it takes the next two years, I am fighting for my life.
Motivation or not.
Friday, February 02, 2007
I'm not sure why I'm in so much pain, but at least I was able to dress myself today. That's a big deal.
My upper back, neck, and shoulders had been bothering me for a couple of days. It could have been due to the many desk hours I was logging, or maybe it was because of the new exercise routine. I have a lot of new stuff going on.
Yesterday, I woke up with intense, stabbing pain, roughly between my shoulder blades, everytime I moved my neck or raised my arms. It completely sidelined me. I lay in bed half the day, and sat motionless in a chair the other half. Attempting to complete my normal workout was a fiasco.
For two consecutive days, I have called in sick to work. I don't get paid sick days, nor was I productive at home. I feel like a slug. My injury has been a complete waste of time.
And to top it all off, I had to endure the seductive aroma of bubbling mozzarella on my husbands baking pizza, while I stood at the kitchen counter, and nuked my miniature frozen diet meal and washed down two more Advils.
Excuse me while I wallow.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I have come up with four important dates to note on my weight loss calendar this year.
1st: Valentines Day.
A very romantic night for us. We always go out for a special dinner, and reignite our romance. I should also be receiving some bling. He's like that.
2nd: Wedding Anniversary.
Ours is in June. We've been together 10 years. So far, I am completely on schedule with my goal to lose 50 lbs by then. We're thinking about renewing our vows, maybe in Hawaii? That long flight will be so much more comfortable when I'm 50 lbs thinner.
3rd: Independence Day.
This is the first time my inlaws will see me since Christmas, when I started my diet. My weight loss sould be noticable by then. I will enjoy watching everyone else pig out, while displaying enviable self control. I will be iron.
4th: Christmas Day.
One year anniversary of my new life as a fit person. I hope to be 90-100lbs lighter by then, and buy myself a fabulous new handbag. Oh heck, I'll let Santa buy it for me!
Friday, January 26, 2007
I read an article today, which stated that losing weight is the #1 New Years resolution. Not surprising, so many Americans are overweight.
It also said that, out of the folks who made that resolution, about half of will abandon it by February 1st. Judging by what I've heard and seen at every fitness club I've ever belonged to, most of the other half drop out by March.
I myself have fallen off the bandwagon several times, and it's humiliating.
I made my weight loss resolution in December. Yes, it was actually a "New Years" resolution, but I mentally prepared myself way ahead of time, and started before January 1st. I was fed up (no pun intended) with my lack of discipline, and I spent December evaluating many unsatisfactory aspects of my lfe, and doing research about calories, BMI, and weight loss.
Back then, if you'd asked me what my biggest fear was, I'd probably have told you it was fear of failure. I didn't want to be another quitter (again).
I hit the 20lb mark today, and I couldn't be more pleased with myself. I still fear failure, but now I'm well armed to combat my own irresponsibility and bad habits.
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