Thursday, January 10, 2008
It's GONE forever.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
If you were about to answer "Why OF COURSE you bought the ultra-fabulous Anya Hindmarch handbag you want more than anything, and have been EYEBALLING since it went on sale" -you're wrong!
I registered for the Mid-Atlantic Horticulture short course, joined the ISA (International Society of Arboriculture), joined the Mid-Atlantic Chapter of the ISA, and bought the Certification Study Manual of the ISA (the last three things are to help me achieve my goal of becoming a certified arborist this year).
Sadly, I still have more continuing education to buy. Probably another $300. worth or so. Then of course, there is the travel involved. So far, I've avoided hotels, because I really want to go on vacation later this year... and I still have to register for a marathon.
The beautiful Malini Murjani clutch- on clearance- that has kept me salivating for three weeks, and praying that money might fall from the sky, finally sold out today... there goes yet another fine piece of arm candy I'll never carry. This sad story has been replaying over my internet connection since late fall.
I know I'll enjoy my classes. I know I'll be proud of achieving certification. But I swear, sometimes I crave a fabulous handbag like other women crave children.
There's an emptyness in my checking account.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Everyone has seen examples of people losing huge amounts of weight in short amounts of time. There are pictures of them in every ad for every diet product ever made, and a tiny caption at the bottom advising us that their dramatic results are not typical. They are the "RESULTS NOT TYPICAL" people. We know that the results are POSSIBLE, just not TYPICAL.
Well, why arenít those results typical?
The answer is usually that most people who resolve to lose weight behave in completely typical, highly predictable ways. They do not follow through on all the necessary components of their goal.
We all know the correlation between eating and exercise. We know exactly what to do to be one of those "results not typical" folks, but typically, we don't do it.
We do what's typical.
Despite all the talk, all the best intentions, and all the New Years Resolutions, we donít plan, we donít measure, we donít take action, and we donít believe. We don't let go of our old, familiar, typical ways. We're complacent. Consequently, most people hate exercise, hate weigh-ins, and would never even consider weighing in on a DAILY basis.
I have been fat (I prefer the term "fat" or "obese" to "overweight") most of my life. When I started SparkPeople, I was overwhelmed by a very intense dissonance... I just didn't want to be obese anymore. I was absolutely determined to rid myself of every self destructive behavior that was causing my obesity. I decided, right then and there, that I was no longer obese. I was no longer an emotional eater, a compulsive overeater, or a sedentary person. Those labels simply didn't apply to my journey. I became, mentally, a FIT person, and I immediately began living the life I imagined a fit person leads.
I definitely did not espouse the "baby steps" methodology that I always hear about. I believe that when you make huge, dramatic, and dynamic changes in your behavior, you achieve huge, dramatic, and dynamic results in your life.
I completely abandoned my typical lifestyle. I made an atypical effort.
I changed EVERYTHING... and everything changed. I became a "results not typical" person.
My opinion has always been that motivation is internal, and that nobody can "give" it to you or take it from you. If you have weight to lose, and want to lose it, and grasp that it would be in your interest to do so, you are, by definition, motivated. What you need is ACTIONÖ and a plan.
Make yourself a timetable. Imagine your success, and pencil in the dates when youíll achieve each milestone along the way. Dwell on what it will feel like if you stick to your plan, and donít eat in your typical, unhealthy way, and live your typical, sedentary life. Write it on your calendar: by Valentineís Day I will be one size smaller, by March I can weigh this much, in April I will be ľ of the way to my goal, by Motherís Day my BMI will no longer be ďobeseĒ, etc. etc.
I became a ďresults not typicalĒ person almost accidentally. I didnít believe, but I was strict with myself and never ďcheatedĒ on my eating and exercise plan. Thatís all! Nobody was more surprised than me. But I didnít do the typical thing. I stuck to my plan, and Iím telling you, that if you do that, you will get those atypical results you see in the back of magazines.
Best wishes on your journey.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
It's that time of year: the annual pilgrimage to the Salvation Army Donation Center, to unload all the Christmas presents.
Let me ask you something: how many pair of jeans do you have?
I have TWO pair, and one of them is a bit large. I have one pair of khaki-type pants that are very large on me, and one pair of jeans that are too tight (for April).
DH has at least 15 pair of jeans, and about 9 pair of shorts (I have ZERO shorts).
Every year, he gets another pair of Levis. He wonít wear them out anytime soon, he is a fairly sedentary man. I however, need jeans for work. People in my industry (landscaping) wear jeans.
I lost a lot of weight. Over a hundred pounds.
Why didn't I get clothes? Or at least gift cards?
If you knew someone on your gift list had lost/gained 100 lbs, wouldn't it occur to you that they might need clothes? He also got two shirts, neither of which he will ever wear.
The only useable article of clothing I got was the gorgeous cashmere sweater that my husband was thoughtful enough to buy off my wish list. Letís not go into the fuzzy blue penguin pajama bottoms I received (no top, just bottomsÖ canít wait for next year).
How do I stop the tide of gifts we don't want and canít use?
Okay, sorry for venting. Iíve been doing laundry all day. I take it out of the dryer, fold it up, and put it away: he has three whole drawers full of jeans, and I have another big box of stuff for Goodwill. Including all the Christmas presents I got, that were nowhere close to the ones on my wish list, and nowhere close to intuitive.
Iím sure the folks down at the Salvation Army donation center will be pleased. They have gotten to know me quite well this past year. Not only do they take all the clothes that no longer fit, but they take all the other gifts that just leave me scratching my head. This year, Iím keeping ONE thing: the cashmere sweater.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
My company has a Christmas party every year. Last year, I attended weighing about 330 lbs, my all-time heaviest. This year, I am 110 lbs less.
Of course, I always try to look my best at this type of event, but this year, I FELT so very different. I took extra time with my makeup and ironed my hair. I wore heels (now that IS rare).
When I got there, I was received warmly by my coworkers, and I greeted everyone with great (and heartfelt) enthusiasm. People hugged me (that didnít happen last year). And, because I arrived so late, many of them were quiteÖ embellished by then.
More than one of them told me how good I looked. I heard it again and again as I was hugged and bussed, and a couple really went into depth about HOW good I looked (Iím sure alcohol was a factor, but I ate it up still the same).
What felt different was my belief in the flattery. It wasnít just lip service; it was overwhelming, unabashed sincerity. And it matched the way I felt that night: I felt beautiful.
Same as last year, my husband couldnít make it. So, I was forced to try to capture all the memories and emotions of the evening, and recreate it in a verbal synopsis for him, the following day. I gushed about what I wore, how wonderful I felt, how everyone swelled my head for me, and how I wished heíd been there. He smiled and replied simply that he was glad Iíd had a good time.
Okay, so heís a man of few words. I spoke about the party a few more times, as it crossed my mind over the course of that day. I was sitting beside him in the car, and we were coming home from the store, during one of these fond recollections.
He thought it over for a few moments, and said ďso are you going to leave me now?Ē
Wow! It was almost as if heíd driven head-on into a wall.
I glanced over to look at him, trying to gauge if he was being serious. ďOf course not! Why would you even think such a thing?Ē I stammered.
Thankfully, he grinned. I knew he was kidding, but stillÖ he was revealing a deeply hidden fear. We discussed it until I was SURE he knew he was for keeps.
I finally suggested to him that the best thing he could do was to take up a fitness program, so we could work out together and everyone would know this hottie was taken. Come to think of it, he HAS been working out with me more and more frequently. I think I may have just found out what his motivation has been.
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