Beginning Again

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Today I have placed myself back on Stage One. I entered my actual current weight, which is 395 pounds. I reset my goals and due to the health rule Spark has of only being able to lose two pounds per week, my new goal date is December 31, 2008. I'm going to do my best to get to my goal weight of 195 before then, but then again, I pretty much coasted through 2006 and that could happen again. But it isn't going to happen in 2007.

I tracked my breakfast already. I didn't do too badly but then again, I guess I could have survived on one packet of Weight Control oatmeal instead of two. I get 2020-2370 calories per day though, and I always wake up hungry no matter what, so I indulged. Excuse or reality, I dunno. *shrugging*

I have my 32 ounce bottle of water by my side and will drink it throughout the day. The one glitch I'm going to have until I settle into an eating schedule on those days is going to be when I work the overnight shifts at work. That's going to happen at least twice a week and some weeks maybe more. I do have to eat some type of protein mid-shift or I get too tired. That much I've already figured out. I've also found that I have to avoid anything that will spike my blood sugar and then cause it to crash, which also makes me tired. I'm guessing my best bet is going to be a nice salad with a bit of cheese and meat on it for the protein. The other option would be to eat my breakfast meal in the wee hours but we'll see how it goes.

I am resolved to get back to the art of taking care of me again. Mandi is a big girl (and getting bigger ... hee hee) and Tim can take care of himself to a point. His depression has been pretty bad lately but he won't see anyone about it. He is very stubborn. I could make myself gain all my weight back but I'm not going to. If he won't take care of himself, that's on him. I'll do what I can to support and encourage him but his health is up to him. That's taken me a long time to figure out but it's how it is!

I was going to wait until January to get back at it but that's just plain silly. It isn't who I am and I'm not going to do it. Today IS the first day of the rest of my life and I'm grabbing it and running with it. Got my Spark goals set and I'm moving forward. No more waiting until another day. Today is THE day!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERRET-EYES 12/29/2006 11:20AM

Karon. I am so happy that you are starting right now. You have accomplished SO much this past year. Build on that. You know the benefits you have already experienced, with what you have done so far. Build on those. This next year in going to be one of continual healing for all of us. PLEASE lean on us in anyway. (I'm speaking for everyone, lol) You give SO much...Please, let us give back in whatever way feels best to you. You are right...today IS the day. Love to you, Ferret. Report Inappropriate Comment

KITT52 12/28/2006 8:00PM

Karon just wanted to thank you fro all you have done for me. I'm proud to call you friend. I wish you well in your new start. I know you will do this. Together we will all make our goals no matter how much we have to loose. Have a Happy New Year and hope 2007 will be your best year ever.. Your friend Kitt Report Inappropriate Comment

SOCKITTOME 12/27/2006 10:51PM

Karon, you totally rock. Congratulations on reaching the point where you feel you can focus on you a little. Like you, I want to fix things because I want everyone to be happy. Well, I can't do it. Everyone else has to be responsible for their little piece of the world. I can help, encourage, etc. but I can't fix everything. Neither can you. Here's to new beginnings. I've been on a sugar roll the past few days and didn't try terribly hard to maintain during December, and I'm about to turn things around again. I'm marching to a new beginning with you, sister. Hugs, Sock Report Inappropriate Comment

And so it goes

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

I am not officially no longer a supervisor at work. I had asked to be "stepped down" to a regular youth care worker positiion with no supervisory responsibilities. The schedule is one I feel I can live with. I will work ten hour shifts, four days a week. Two of those days will be overnight shifts and two will generally be evening shifts. I'm actually looking forward to this! It is a relief to no longer be responsibe to anyone but myself.

On the "diet front" I'm still maintaining my loss. As my life changes one more time, I know I will get it together. The new year is rapidly approaching and with it I intend to have a new attitude. I am going to do my utmost best to lose at least 100 pounds once again in 2007. I did it in 2005 and I can and will do it again!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOBERRY 12/21/2006 10:39PM

Hi Nora glad to hear every thing going good for you. I know what you mean just being responsible for youself. The girls at work wonder why I dont put in for manger( I work in a school kitchen) when the positions come open I tell them it not worth the extra 50 cent or $1 a hour and mostly all the headache.I have worked as a kitchen helper 13 years and I feel good I can leave it all there till the next day with out any worry. . I know you by reading your blogs that you already have a wonderful attitude and you will achieve any thing you put your mind too. Will going to go have a wonderful Christmas I donot think we going to get any snow here in Illinios for Xmas but that is ok we had enough with the ice storm. Take care Report Inappropriate Comment

SOCKITTOME 12/21/2006 9:48PM

Karon, you are going to rock in 2007!!!! I'm joining you on a quest to renew my attitude and start over come the first of the year. We can do this, and I know we're both going to rock this joint with our successes. Big hugs to ya, Sock Report Inappropriate Comment

SJEGUTIUD 12/21/2006 10:19AM

Well I am happy to hear that you are maintaining and that you have set such a wonderful goal for 2007. If you ever need to talk I am always here for you to talk to. I know that the computer isn't always the answer because I have those days that I want to talk to a real person about what is going on in my life with this so if you would like I will give you my number just let me know. Report Inappropriate Comment

Been a little quiet

Friday, December 08, 2006

So I've been a little quiet lately. I've had a lot on my mind and a lot going on in my life. I'm still maintaining my weight loss and not losing any more. It's okay with me. I've given myself permission to maintain.

I came to a realization, with the help of Coach Dean, recently. I am angry. I am very angry and stuck in the grieving process. I am grieving for all I've given up over the past year and all I've been through. Once I was able to realize and accept that, I've been able to start working on it to get beyond it. I've got a LOT of work to do but I'm up to it. Confronting the reasons I got fat will enable me to take it off and keep it off and ultimately, that's what it's all about.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SJEGUTIUD 12/19/2006 9:57AM

Karen I hope all is well for you and you jdeserve time to be quiet. You have done so wonderfully and you are a major insperation to many of us. You are a beautiful person on the inside and out and if you ever want someone to talk to we are all here to listen Report Inappropriate Comment

SHERRY528 12/16/2006 1:52AM

Karon, Dear Friend, BIG HUGS to you! You "have" been missed! And it's FINE that you are quiet if that's what you need. And Friend???..."I" don't think "you're stuck" in the grieving process AT ALL!!! It "is" just what it says: "a process". You've been thru, Lord knows, and so do we, A LOT, Karon!!! You are SO OK. You have DONE WONDERFULLY and this is all part of it! It's not only ok to spend some time working thru the feelings you have-it's IMPERATIVE. I am excited you are seeing this and taking care of yourself. We CARE and we are here when and if you want, in whatever way helps YOU and we thank you for all you share and the Friend that you are. Love ya-Sherry Report Inappropriate Comment

JUDYSPOSITIVE 12/10/2006 11:36PM

Karon, It is nice to hear from you again. I'm sure with time and help you will get through this tough time. Remember you have always been a source of strength for me and I really appreciate it. Maintaining is always better than the alternative so hang in there, we are all here for you. Take care Judy Report Inappropriate Comment

ATRANSFORMATION 12/9/2006 7:25PM

It is not easy, digging deep into our feelings, but an absolute must for long term success. Congrats on getting the work started, and good to *see* you again.... Report Inappropriate Comment

Trip to Alaska

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I'm back from my short trip to Alaska. You can look in my photo gallery here at SP to see some of the photos taken (to be posted soon as I finish here). We had a FANTASTIC time and visiting with my SP sister Teresa was a blast! She was an excellent tour guide taking us all over Anchorage to see the sights. We also went to Girdwood to a wildlife animal preserve. The scenery in AK was breathtaking! We are definitely going to go back again, not for the scenery, but to visit Teresa. If we happen to do other things, that's a bonus!

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUDYSPOSITIVE 11/16/2006 10:51PM

Karon, Sounds like you had a great time, I am so happy for you. Life is starting on a whole new path for you and you look wonderful and happy. Keep up the positive outlook, you are my inspiration. Judy Report Inappropriate Comment

ATRANSFORMATION 11/16/2006 1:01AM

You are lookin' good, Lady! Report Inappropriate Comment

New Photo

Thursday, November 02, 2006

I've added a new photo to my photo gallery here at Sparkpeople. It was taken today and is a full body shot of me without my 'sidekick'. I cannot believe the difference and you know, when I look closely and compare it to photos taken back in April, I'm also smaller around the waist and hips than I was then. I didn't realize that. I said all along the weight I was gaining was in that tumor and the photos are pretty much proving it.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIME4ANEW_ME 11/9/2006 11:00AM

Way to go!! It does make a difference. I wish I could have your perserverance to motivate myself and get this weight off! I guess I am impatient. I just got the Walk Away The Pounds tape and hoping I will enjoy them! Congrats again and keep up the good work! Report Inappropriate Comment

KITT52 11/6/2006 3:21PM

Karon what a difference ....wow. You are looking great. You do inspire me ever time I read your story. Thanks. Kitt Report Inappropriate Comment