NORAKENO   22,552
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More Drama than Primetime TV

Saturday, September 23, 2006

Hi everyone ...

More drama added to my story today. I keep praying it's all going to end, and then more gets dumped into my lap.

Fell asleep for a few minutes yesterday afternoon in my chair, sitting up. When I woke up, I had this tightness in my chest. I figured it was my medicine stuck in my throat (you all can probably relate to the feeling of something lodged just below your breastbone). I went on to work and when I walked in felt terrible. Met the therapist in the office who demanded I call the campus nurse. She wanted me to call 911 as she thought I might be having a heart attack. I managed to drive myself to urgent care where they checked me out, ran an EKG, gave me baby asprin, and called the ambulance. Off to the hospital I was raced.

Called Tim upon arrival to alert him of the situation. Had blood drawn to check cardiac enzymes. Had a chest x-ray. Spoke to the ER doc and then a cardiologist who advised me the tests were fine but they were keeping me overnight to monitor my heart.

Tim arrived (having taken a taxi, bless his heart) and I was taken upstairs. Tim eventually reached my friend Barb and she came and took him home. She also brought him back today, picked me up, and took us back to our car at urgent care.

Today I spoke with the doctor on call for my doctor's office. He said he feels many over reacted, but at least my heart seems to be okay. Always better to be safe than to be sorry. Then I had an echocardiogram. Spoke with the cardiologis who said that my heart seems to be just fine. To be sure, I have to call and set up an appointment to have a nuclear stress test done. Oh goody! Then he goes on to tell me the chest x-ray shows an enlarged nodule which may be nothing but I'll have to see a pulmonary specialist. That person showed up a bit later and said he feels the nodule is a calcium deposit, but it will have to be checked out further. I'll need a CAT scan. It can wait 3-4 weeks while I deal with the leg situation. Thanks for the small things!

I've been discharged and am at home now. Spoke to the manager at work and work was a living hell yesterday with many staff not showing up or having some sort of problem. The campus site director had to work in our home along with the clinical director. I say good enough for them to have to get involved and see how things really are than to sit in their offices always telling us what we're doing wrong. At any rate, I don't go back to work until Tuesday afternoon. *sigh*

I'm pretty tired. They had to poke me many times. The IV the paramedic started in the ambulance blew the vein. Then the IV therapis had a difficult time establishing a new IV. It was very frustrating and I have a HUGE purple bruise on my left forearm now. Also had to have shots in the tummy (blood anti-coagulant). Was not in a private room this time and the older woman (age 72) was restless and kept me awake. I did take a nap with Tim a bit ago.

Anyway ... I still have to see the surgeon on Wednesady. Have to call the cardiologist on Monday to set up the stress test and eventually call the pulmonary specialist for the CAT scan follow-up. One fun thing after another, it seems.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NISDES 10/24/2006 7:14PM

    I am very new to SP, and have to say that I am very inspired by how far you have journeyed. Hope you are recuperating pleasantly, and that you find that the time at home is as productive as you seem like you want it to be, but without overdoing it.

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Going against my own advice

Sunday, September 03, 2006

From the beginning of my journey, I've met new friends. Many would ask, "Should I start today or wait until Sunday?" My reply was always why put it off? Start today. I'm a firm believer in not putting things off. There's no time like the present and why give yourself the chance to not do what you want to do and know you should do but waiting?

That said, I'm putting my weight loss on hold except to maintain. Since May when I got a job, went to training for two weeks, moved, and started to work, I've bounced up and down the same ten pounds from 390-400. I'll admit I've not tried to stop the bounce and move the scale lower but only a couple times. All in all, I feel good about where I'm at right now though. It is a sign that come the end of my journey and arrival at my goal weight, I'll be able to maintain the loss. That's a huge positive in my book!

I'm kind of caught up right now in this whole surgery thing. When the thing came up on my leg, I didn't give it a lot of thought. I trusted a doctor who didn't know what he was talking about. It is indeed filled with fluid, but it's not lymph edema. The doctors haven't really said what it is, except that it's not cancerous and it's filled with fluid. I guess I'll have to wait and see what they say once they cut it off.

I know the weight loss the surgery is going to provide is going to catapult my motivation. It's already starting to get me excited about losing again. I know I'm going to do this. I've said it from the beginning and I say it now. I've come too far to give up now. Shoot, I'm almost half-way to my goal!

I'll be laid up for a time after the surgery, so what better time to get back with it than then? (See, the old me would have said the better time is now but I just can't bring myself to push myself about it right now.) I'll be homebound for a time, I'm sure. Remember I'm the only one in the house that drives so we won't be going out anywhere. I'm going to stock the pantry and fridge before the surgery so we'll have plenty of fresh and frozen goodies when I get home.

I don't necessarily make bad food choices right now. But I'm not really exercising, I don't count my calories, I don't make sure I'm getting the right foods every day. I'm eating too many carbs. I do watch portion sizes and am getting good at realizing I've eaten enough and pushing the food away. That's been a HUGE accomplishment for me. In the past, I'd eat until I was sick to my stomach and be miserably full for an hour or more. Not true of me anymore and I'm proud of that.

I try to come and post daily here but some days I just can't seem to make the time. I try to read blogs of my friends and am falling short there as well. I know while I'm laid up, I'll have so much time on my hands I'll build new habits. Also, with the change in work shift, I'm hoping to access the internet via wireless access at work. Woo hoo ... it will be so much more satisfying for me than the limited time I have right now.

Thanks to everyone for continuing to come and check on me. It's great to check and see how many still visit my blog daily. Those of you who leave comments keep me going, when I've wanted to quit. And yes, I've honestly wanted to say to hell with it and just quit. Then there's the niggling at the back of my mind that tells me I can do this. I will do this. I am doing this. I will reach my goal. Hang in there and continue watch as I make my journey forward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SOCKITTOME 9/10/2006 3:43PM

    Karon, you are awesome. This whole journey we're on is about developing a healthy lifestyle, and we have to be flexible enough to roll with the punches when things don't go as planned. You are doing that! Taking a maintenance break in the midst of your journey is cool -- it allows you to focus on the more important things at the moment. And it also shows you how much you've learned so far. When you've recovered from surgery and get back on your way and you've reached your goal, you will already know that you can maintain anything you've lost, because you're doing it now. Maintenance won't be such a scary thing to you like it is to some of us who haven't had the opportunity yet. And you will have learned from this maintenance period what works and what doesn't, so you can adjust your strategy when you reach your final maintenance phase.

If you can do this and triumph over the hurdles that life puts in your way, so can I. Thanks for being a shining light to so many, even when you don't feel like you are, and especially even when you don't feel like trying. You have touched more people than you probably realize.

Big hugs,


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ANGELOVER 9/6/2006 11:47PM

    Oops! I posted my comments to this one on the wrong place. I put them under the previous blog entry. Check it out there. Hugs!


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HOPE4ME 9/4/2006 4:37PM

    Karon -- The priorties right now have to different because of what is going on in your life. Than is normal and what you need to do. I pray that everything goes well for you the next few weeks!! You have given me strength Karon and I hope that I can give you some too!! I'll be thinking and praying for you!!! Take Care of yourself -- that is what is most important!!


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KITT52 9/4/2006 1:31PM

    Karon I wish you well in your journey. I wish to thank you again for all you have done to help me. You have given me the strengh some days to carry on and to let me know if she can do it so can I.

Good luck and I hope the surgery will get you back on the right track. I pray you have a speedy recoverery. Please let me know If I can be of any help.
Your friend

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I'm the Kind of Gal

Sunday, May 07, 2006

In my blog a couple weeks ago I had a friend tag me and ask me to post what kind of gal I am. This is my response to him, finally.

I'm the kind of gal who dares to dream everyday.

I'm the kind of gal who drinks water almost exclusively.

I'm the kind of gal who would rather eat another serving of the main course than dessert.

I'm the kind of gal who pushes through the pain and keeps on going.

I'm the kind of gal who says 'yes' to almost everything and later asks herself 'why'.

I'm the kind of gal who gives 100% of herself to everything she does but doesn't expect others to do the same because it's a rare quality to have.

I'm the kind of gal who worries about her kids and her family and friends.

I'm the kind of gal who gets frustrated with herself when things aren't going as expected but can cheer on everyone else.

I'm the kind of gal who takes better care of those around her, and sometimes even strangers, than she does of herself.

I'm the kind of gal who is taking back her life, losing weight, making career and lifestyle changes, and doing just fine!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANGELOVER 9/6/2006 11:44PM

    HI Karon! Good to hear from you. I hope the surgery goes well! I think you have made wonderful progress and knowing you can maintain is super. I'm there, too.. Well, kind of. I had to postpone my weight loss because in June I got pregnant! I'll be resuming sometime in the spring after the baby - in March or by the summer, so hey maybe we'll end up working on the weight loss again at the same time period. I managed to maintain through the first trimester and now am starting to gain the baby weight, which is fine and normal.

Anyhow, congrats on your recognition of when to stop eating, not making yourself sick from overeating, and being more careful on portion sizes. Also congrats for making better food choices in general! You have done soooo well getting half way to goal and like you, I know that feels SOOO Much better than where we were. :) I lost 60 lbs and have another 65 to reach my goal of 175 lbs eventually. Well, and then I'll have the baby weight I put on to lose, too, but that is ok.

I just posted a new blog entry for the first time since June and I updated my Sparkpage with the news, if you want to read any more.


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Who Am I?

Monday, April 17, 2006

Marianne, here at Sparkpeople asked us in one of the threads I post in, to define ourselves without saying we are a wife, mother, sister, etc. This is my definition of who I am right now. It has definitely changed over the years. Once you finish reading who I am, why not tell me who you are? Just click the link to my Community Journal and tell me who you are.


I am a tender soul with a sweet spirit. I am a loyal and supportive friend. I am sensitive and caring. I am educated and smart. I am a good listener. I am a woman with a mission, determined to lose the fat that has kept me hidden from the world. I am a work in progress.


About Getting Discouraged

Monday, April 17, 2006

(I was asked in a Sparkpeople thread this morning the following question ... "I ended up on a gastric bypass post and I am concerned because I watched a special on TLC that said the same thing a young lady was saying. That all obese that have a lot to lose can't keep it off. I have a lot to lose. How do you not get discouraged when you hear stuff like that. You are doing such a great job. You inspire many people and I just had to say that and because of that I had to ask that. Thanks, Michelle" --NOSMIRGROT ... This is my reply and I felt it worth sharing with others who may not read that particular thread so have copied it here.)

I get so irritated by the weight loss industry and those who say the only way a morbidly obese person can lose weight and keep it off is through surgery. I don't believe that and I'm not going to accept it! Personally, I know quite a few people who have lost over 100 pounds without surgery and have kept it off for 2-6 years already and still going strong. Yes, they go up and down on the scale five or ten pounds but they ARE maintaining.

I intend to prove wrong those who say you can't lose a lot of weight and keep it off unless you have surgery. The next is my rant and my opinion about surgery for weight loss. I apologize in advance if it offends anyone. I know for some it is the only option other than death and in those instances, it is the way to go. But for the majority of us, we have the basic health and ability to do the work and lose the weight by learning more about ourselves.

Losing weight rapidly is not healthy. Every weight loss program out there, with the exception of those supporting gastric bypass, will tell you losing more than an average of two pounds per week can cause health related problems. It also makes the sagging skin issue a much more pressing matter as the skin cannot keep up with the weight loss.

I much prefer learning how to eat right for the rest of my life. So many who've had gastric bypass surgery re-gain their weight, too. Look around here at Sparkpeople and you'll find several who had the surgery and gained weight and are now working at losing the weight again. How sad that they spent all that money and are back where they started because of whatever reason.

Losing weight is about so much more than getting rid of the pounds and ugly fat. It's about making ourselves emotionally healthy, figuring out why we got the way we are in the first place. It's about exploring the "why" and coming up with an alternative plan to cope. It's about learning what foods to eat in the right combination and proper portion sizes. It's about changing the way we look at food.

Food is nothing more than the fuel our bodies need to keep going every day. If we put junk food into our bodies, we are going to start to run sluggish, get ill, and feel horrid. If we put quality food into our bodies, the machine that it is will take what's needed and get rid of the rest, functioning as it was intended to function.

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't get discouraged. I have my moments and even days sometimes. But in the long run, I believe in myself. I know that I can and will lose the weight and I will be healthier, more fit, and happier because I'll be able to join in living life instead of sitting on the sidelines while others live life and have fun.

It is also because I have so many who believe in me, are motivated by me, are inspired by me and my story that I cannot and will not give up. I have met so many wonderful people on my weight loss journey, many who I now consider friends and a few that I consider family. I can't let them down anymore than I can let myself down.


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