Friday, August 08, 2008
Just back from the cardiologist and it was exactly as I knew it would be. There is NOTHING wrong with my heart. I have not had a heart attack. I am just FINE! I could have had my surgeon and my surgery and been recuperating right now. But ... everything happens for a reason.
That said, I called the surgeon's office and the earliest she can get me back on the schedule is September 8th so it's another month of waiting for me. I don't think that's fair but then life isn't fair. Being a spiritual person, I'm pretty sure I'm starting to figure out part of the why when I looked at my calendar. It's disappointing and I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up on my surgery nor am I going to take back my committment I've made to something near and dear to me at church. I am going to win!
I will continue on the diet, somewhat, but will likely not be quite as careful about the dinner meal. I don't want to regain what I've lost but I think my body is going into starvation mode as the scale hasn't changed in a few days. Changing things up for the next couple weeks before restarting the pre-op diet may be just what my body needs.
I'm trying to look at this how everyone else will tell me to see it. I still get to have surgery. I now know my heart is fine. It's better to be safe than sorry. I really don't care. The disappointment of having to wait so long is still here. I know it's selfish and stupid but it is what it is and I am who I am.
There is a slim chance the surgery date could be moved up but I'm not holding my breath. The surgeon is out of town next week and the schedulerer said she'd talk to him the following Monday when he returns. If he agrees to do the surgery on a Thursday instead of a Monday, I may get in a little sooner. We'll see. Right now I'm planning on Sept 8.