Thursday, November 29, 2007
So yesterday the hubby went to our rental office and got a key for the fitness center. It is located in the building right next to our apartment. We went and checked it out last night. They have three treadmills, two ellipticals, a bike, and a stair-stepper. They also have free handweights and a weight machine.
Out of curiosity, I stepped onto the elliptical and gave it a whirl. I think it's actually something I might like, given time and determination. I lasted only about two minutes before I felt like I was going to collapse, but it was two minutes at a pretty good stride rate. Or so I thought until the darn machine told me to "stride faster"! WHATEVER!
I tried to get on the bike as that used to be one of my favorite things to do to get exercise. I had a bike of my own until my oversized body (many pounds less than I am right now, actually) managed to bend the sprocket and it couldn't be fixed. I got onto the seat and next was to try to get my feet into the stirrups on the pedals. No go! I think that hubby put the seat too low. It hurt my legs to bend that much. I'll give it another whirl next time. Thankfully, no one else was there to witness my humiliation!
I just have to make myself walk over there and do it. I know that I don't move my body enough. I'm hoping I can commit to this and make it work as well as track the calories in. It would be nice to have someone other than the hubby to go with but oh well. He's better than going alone.
Afterwards, they also have a sauna and a whirlpool/hottub. I tried out a sauna in college with my friend and thought I was gonna die. I couldn't breathe in there. And I'm not all that fond of hottubs. All I can think about is bacteria and germs and how that stuff grows with heat. Fungus among us! UGH I know that the heat is logically probably high enough to kill stuff and they put chemicals in it, but it still grosses me out. Hubby loves the hottub, though. He'll probably go over there with me and spend much of his time in there! LOL
Anyway, I'm on a quest to find out about what I should eat before working out. I know I read somewhere at some time that one should eat something. I think I read eat protein, but can't for the life of me remember. I was going to ask on the fitness boards, but everyone there seems so fit and it really made me feel like crap. I miss the old 100+ forum where I would have thought nothing about asking this question, but that's my hang-up to deal with. I've accepted that area is gone and admit the hang-up is mine and mine alone. Wise words from Coach Dean made me see and acknowledge this. I don't want to hold myself back, but I cannot ask fitness questions in an area where people seem pretty darn fit to me!
So if you have knowledge or an opinion about eating before working out, please do share. I searched the Sparkpeople articles about fitness and found nothing. I did find eating something like half a sandwich made with tuna or turkey after working out is a good idea but nothing about before. Help me out, guys!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Why does my first thought out of bed in the morning revolve around food? Why is it that I finish a meal and am already thinking about what the next one will be? Why must I be fixated on food all the time?
I'm so tired of thinking about food. I'm so tired of trying to figure out the right combinations of foods to eat, at the right times, in the right portions. It seems to be the focus of my entire day, every day.
I went to a dietician. What I wanted was for her to help me to come up with a month or two of menu plans so I would have all of that figured out for me. The plans here at Sparkpeople have been no help to me at all. There are too many substitutions, too many things on there that I've either never eaten or will never eat. I just don't get it. Isn't there a plan somewhere that will just lay it all out for me?
I guess I'm going to have to return to the exchanges and count the calories to ensure I'm getting enough. It's just aggravating to have to constantly think about what I'm going to eat. I suppose part of the thinking about it all the time is making sure I have the things I need to actually follow whatever I plan. One day, if ever I get down to a "normal" weight, I want to sit down with someone and just come up with menus that are inexpensive yet will allow others to just pick and eat. Yes, that's kind of what Nutrisystem allowed, but the sodium in that food alone can kill someone. I want to prepare my own food and enjoy it.
That's my rant for today.
And now ... in honor of being thankful this month, I am thankful to be alive today. I have a couple friends who have loved ones in the hospital. One is definitely not going to make it as they have a terminal illness. The other, I don't know much about yet. I'm thankful for my health and the health of my family.
Have a blessed day!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
In my private Sparkpeople group, I posted a vow to be thankful each and every day for something this month. I tend to complain a lot about what I don't have that I WANT. I have what I NEED and want to be satisfied with that. It isn't that I think wanting things is wrong per se, but not being thankful and giving thanks for what I have is definitely wrong in my eyes. I do have dreams and aspirations and those are not what I'm talking about. So ... here is what I posted a couple days ago there, and meant to copy to here but forgot ... and what I have posted in my personal non-Spark blog linked on my page here somewhere about what I'm thankful for today.
This is my post from a few days ago...
"Today I am thankful for Tim (my husband). He is always there to pick me up when I fall. He's there with a supportive hand when I stumble. He gives me encouragement when I feel I just can't go on any longer. He loves me unconditionally and has never stopped, even when I managed to pack on a whopping 300 pounds since marriage. He helps to guide me through this event called life. He cares when no one else does and even when I don't care myself. He supports me no matter what, even when I make stupid decisions. He doesn't criticize or belittle me. He doesn't hit me or try to hurt me. In 22 years of marriage, he's never cheated on me. He has been here and is my rock. Next to the Lord, he is my foundation and my reason for living. I just wanted to share what I'm thankful for today. Tomorrow may be a different story. He may just tick me off and then all bets are off. *giggles*"
And today's post from my blog went like this ...
"I am thankful for having a job that at least gets the bills paid and puts food in my stomach and a roof over my head. It ain't much, but it's what I've got. Sure, there never seems to be enough money but we don't need anything. We want lots, but we have what we need. There are so many out there who are homeless, haven't eaten in over 24 hours, are wearing rags, and are worrying about how they are going to stay warm and live through the coming winter. I am so blessed to not be one of those people today.
On the diet front, I'm down to 393.5 this week. I still seem to have the constipation problem, though I stopped the Meridia, the vitamins, and the calcium supplements. I don't think I'm getting enough fat in my diet, not by planning but just by how it's working out. I have to work on that. And I see the doctor today, unless they call and cancel like they did yesterday. I'll be talking with her about it and see what she says. I know it's not lack of fiber or water so it has to be the fat issue. Maybe a stool softener will be in order for a short time until things get back to normal. *chuckles*"
Oh and today is the anniversary of the day the hubby and I met on a blind date. It was 23 years ago today that we met each other! Wow, so much has happened since then. I am so blessed!
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Frustration has set in. I am so tired of losing 3-5 pounds and then bouncing up and down forever. The Meridia did help me to drop 12 pounds and get below 400 pounds. Since then I've been bouncing up and down 395-399. I guess I should be happy I'm remaining below 400 but I'm not really. I'm so tired!
Went to the dietician and she wants me to increase my carbohydrates. What? I'm not a low-carb freak, but I do some limiting of carbs. She claims that I don't get enough carbs to level out my blood glucose levels which keeps my metabolism from working at it's ultimate level. Whatever! I followed her advice for a week and it's gotten me absolutely no where!
She also wants me to increase my fiber. I don't have any issues with the 'cleansing of my body' but she claims I don't get enough fiber either. I have tried, but again, it doesn't seem to make much difference. I eat plenty of natural fruits and veggies so always figured fiber was the least of my concerns.
I started taking Centrum Silver to ensure that I'm getting the proper nutrients. I also now chew up two Viactiv chews per day to help me with calcium. I don't like milk. Most of my calcium I get from cheese. Cheese can be high in sodium, the one thing she said I get too much of. No kidding! Sodium is in EVERYTHING. Do you hear the frustration?
There are days when I just want to give up. I want to believe that the Lord doesn't want me to stay fat forever, but with each obstacle I come up against, I have to wonder. I know I've "dieted" my way to being this fat. If only I'd been happy to weigh 232 all those years ago, I'd never have yo-yoed my way up to 530 pounds. How sad is it that the one thing I wanted so desperately (to be a thin and normal person ... and yes normal is relative) would cause me to be so darned fat? I know it makes me sad and I'm oh so tired of it being the focus of all that I am. I'm working to change it though. By the grace of God, I will change it!
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