NORAKENO   22,555
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The Doctor Visit

Friday, October 12, 2007

I did go see my doctor. She was thrilled with my blood pressure at 112/72. We discussed my weight bouncing up and down the same 5-6 pounds from 399-405 and how I'm really frustrated with it right now. If I were a weaker person, I'd just say 'to heck with it all' and quit. But I'm not so no worries about quitting.

We talked about Meridia, Xenical, and Byeeta (sp?). She gave me a script for Meridia. She advised me that it works well for some and not at all for others. This is a way to jump-start things again. It is not a long-term plan. She agreed with the calories/fat/protein/carbs ratios that Spark has given me to follow. She said I'm doing pretty well with my walking and need to make sure to continue that.

We also discussed depression (at the prompting of my dear hubby). If I continue to struggle with it as I have been, meds may be in my future for that as well. I'd really rather not take those, but will if it comes right down to it.

All in all it was a good visit. I will continue to track calories, walk, and take things one day at a time. I am going to beat this weight once and for all. It's just taking a heck of a lot longer than I ever thought it would.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WATERJEN 10/22/2007 6:43PM

  Congrats on seeing the doc. That can be scary.

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RENEWEDMINDCWC 10/14/2007 3:48PM

    Your blood pressure is great! Congratulations on that. Keep your chin up, girl, and just keep chugging along. You will lose if you keep tracking, walking etc. I don't know what your depression is about, but I know that being successful with losing weight makes me feel a lot better about myself, and helps my outlook on life. I hope that you can "break the cycle" depression intails and move on. I'm rooting for you!

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SHERRY528 10/12/2007 11:13PM

    FANTASTIC on your Blood Pressure, Karon! I know as far as the weight goes it's SOOO frustrating to feel "stuck" with those same 5-6 pounds back and forth-but I say GOOD FOR YOU even there-you're still very much in the game and working to get your stride going again. You're NOT gaining as you could be. YOU BET you ARE NOT "a weaker person"!---You WILL get this going again. You don't know HOW MANY TIMES I've read your sign off quote 'bout "Courage doesn't always roar-sometimes it is the quiet voice that says 'I WILL TRY AGAIN'---You have MARVELOUS COURAGE, Karon! Glad you're gonna try the Meridia-good luck with that. And as far as Depression meds? Karon, I RESISTED THEM for YEARS-I hate to take them, too, but started 2 1/2 months ago-I'm taking one to level out my moods and also Prozac. It's made a HUGE DIFFERENCE! I kept thinking I could just do it myself-but finally knew I really did need the help. Don't be afraid of them if you do.
We LOVE YOU, Karon. Can't wait to hear of your coming successes. I KNOW they'll be upcoming...HUGS! Sherry

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Still Struggling

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The struggle continues, though the acute hunger has now passed. The weight on the scale continues to bounce up and down five to seven pounds each week. Thankfully, it's the same pounds so I haven't really gained anything but it is frustrating.

I'm considering going strictly by what Sparks says for me to eat. Until now, I've been eating what I want, making the healthy choices, and tracking the calories. I'm going to pull up the Spark menus and see what I can live with and go for it. Get paid on Thursday and can then go grocery shopping and lay in what I need. I have to do something and this is as good as anything else.

Also, I go back to my doctor tomorrow. I'll see what she thinks. I know I haven't walked as much I should. It's been so darned hot here in Illinois. Today starts the cool down and then it's going to be really cool for a bit, or so the weather guy says. I'm so ready for a true fall and then into winter. I don't even mind walking in the cold. Hat, mittens, coat ... oh, I need to get a new coat. Mine is three years old and way too big on me this year. That's a good thing!

I'll check back in the next couple days and spill what the doctor thinks. Until then ... the struggle continues. One day at a time and deal with issues as they arise.



Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Well I had a really terrible day yesterday. I know I'm depressed but this may be my all time low. I wanted to eat. I had an insatiable appetite. I ate breakfast (2 eggs, 2 slices of whole wheat toast, and applesauce) and was still hungry. I had an apple and a cheese stick for a snack. Still hungry. Went to lunch with hubby and had a 1/2 lb burger (never can make myself order the 1/3 lb one!) and a large salad. I only ate the bottom bun. That should have satisfied me. But ... you guessed it! I was still hungry! So I ended up eating the top bun, too!

All day long I battled with wanting to eat more and more. I didn't, but it was definitely a war raging inside me. And I couldn't stay awake. I had plenty of sleep the night before, but for some reason (depression, I'm sure) I continued to doze off in my chair all day long. It was irritating and frustrating.

I finally got around to making homemade lasagna. Forgot to put the spinach down to thaw, so made the whole thing with extra lean ground beef. Ate a normal size portion and was still hungry. Had a second one. Then I had a mini apple pie I had made for dessert. (Got the recipe from Teresa's friend while up in Alaska and they are so good. I used splenda instead of sugar. They are made inside muffin tin cups and are the perfect size.) I managed to eat only one, though I had made ten.

By the time I went to work, the hunger seemed to have subsided and I felt like I was returning to myself once again. I am motivated to do what I can do and the rest is up to the Lord. In all honesty, I do feel like I'm doing everything in my power, but when I re-read what I've written, I wonder if I'm just making excuses once again.

I hated myself yesterday. Today I'm okay with who I am. It's weird to be so out of control. That isn't who I am. It really isn't. On some occasions, I'm even a real control freak!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOBERRY 10/8/2007 4:19PM

    Hello don't beat your self up tomorrow is another day At least you ate fruit and veggies during the day also.The heat has a lot to do with being tired it has been in the 90's here to hot to do anything outside. I am finally getting back on track been off for over a month no energy to do any thing finally a few days ago I made myself go for a walk late in the evening will thats all it took to get me motived again I try to do 30 minutes a day of some sorts of exercise. Have faith in God he will help you through this journey and don't hate yourself everyone has good and bad days just take one day at a time and you have alot of love and support going to you here on sparkpeople take care talk to you later. your Illinios friend, Brenda

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SHANTODD420 10/8/2007 1:11PM

    Hang in there it can only get better. Try chewing some sugar free gum when you get those cravings. Look how far you have come. No turning back gotta keep moving forward.


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CLARKECOLLEGE 10/5/2007 12:44AM

  It's sounds like insulin hunger.

When I get that I make myself walk in the pool and I come out balanced

Your blog inspires

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    Romans 7:15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.````Even Paul struggled....

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WATERJEN 10/3/2007 5:42PM

  Hang in there, Karon. It *is* normal to have sleep problems (too much or too little) and appetite changes (always hungry or never hungry) when you're depressed. Or if you've just had a few days of not eating much, or you've been sick.

I'm glad you're still walking - activity does help depression among other things.

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I'm Back 100%

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I am back and giving it 100% once again. I now have internet again so I'll be able to track calories and exercise and do the things I know work. It feels good to be at this point. As of today, my weight tracker will be current and up to date.

It saddens me a little to be sitting at just over 400 pounds once again. The reality is that I've struggled to get below that and remain there for almost the entire year of 2007. I am now determined to reach my next mini goal of 200 pounds lost. I have about 70 pounds to go to get there currently. I'd love to be there by sometime in February as that will be my three year anniversary of this entire process starting. I'll have to drop about 3.5 pounds a week to get there. I'm praying it can be done. I know if I make it to that milestone (which would mean I'd be at 330 pounds) I'd definitely gain renewed motivation to keep going and shoot for the 300 lbs gone milestone.

I won't know if I don't make the effort so off I go. Walking the baby steps once again. Tracking the foodsgoing in, tracking the calories burned, reading and learning more and more, making the right food choices, and dropping the pounds. It's what I'm here for and I'm going to "just do it"!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MASLIN 9/29/2007 9:41AM

    Welcome back!! Its good to hear from you!!

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WATERJEN 9/28/2007 4:23PM

  Are you still able to walk to your sister's? Or go grocery shopping without the scooter? If so you are doing GREAT. :)

I've begun riding the bus to work at least half the time. The fastest route picks me up 2 blocks from home, drops me off a 1/2-mile from work, and doesn't take any longer than driving - well, not counting the walking :) But this way I DO go for a walk, instead of getting a block out and deciding "I should get back to the office". Once the bus drops me off, I either walk or stand there ... ;)

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TRISHA26 9/27/2007 9:04AM

    WOW you sound so motivated and you should give yourself a great big pat on the back for how far you have come, you are doing great, it is a long road to getting fit and healthy and we are all travelling along with you some are going at a differant pace but we are all going and that is the main thing, keep on sparking you are doing great. Trisha

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Post Vacation and Doctor Visit

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I have been to the doctor and gained a bit of weight on my vacation. No matter, I had a good time and the pounds will come off again. The doctor suggested a couple meds for weight loss and I'm considering them. We will make a decision when I go back in October. One is Meridia which she says is an appetite suppressant. The other is a newer med that will require me to give myself injections two times per day. Not so certain I want to give that one a try! *grinning*

In the past, she has requested I walk and I've not really held up to my end of the bargain. I have made a new committment to walk. Tim says if I do it for the next 30 days I can get internet at home again. What a motivator for me!

We had rain the first day so instead I did a Richard Simmons workout. The key is to move my butt, so I did. Today I'll be going to walk in a local park when I leave here (Panera Bread Co). I did ten minutes of an old aerobic workout tape early this morning. I just have to make myself do it. I know it's the ONE thing that's going to make a difference.

Other than that, I'm still doing the Nutrisystem foods, but will not be placing an order for the next few months. Going to do it on my own again and see where it takes me. I have quite a stock pile and will use that up as I go along but I know in the past I did it without the NS foods and I can and will do it again.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    What a kind thing Tim is doing for you! Providing time for you to "sit" if you also "move".....what a guy! He does, as you do, know what is best for you. Here's to keeping your motivation, and seeing you post again on a regular basis! And so glad you enjoyed your vacation. The pics are awesome!

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MASLIN 9/11/2007 2:54PM

    I am glad you are up and walking again! That is so great to hear! You can do it without NS. I know you can!

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    Hope you had a wonderful holiday. I overate the whole summer and now I'm back at it again. You can do it to. Shots don't sound like fun to me either, I'm not a needle person. I'm sure you can do it with your own food, like you said you did it before. Have a great week and I'll be thinking of you.

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